What If…?

Due to the incompetence of the friggin' phone line, I am unable to connect to the Internet, and thus, since my creative juices are overflowing today (a very unfortunate thing I must tell you, since chaos usually ensues when this happens) I have made a ficcie~~~! Nothing new, same as always: the usual WAFF, comedy, insanity, fluffy things, and whatnot…

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Shaman King… well, I do own Hiu^^;;

For all die hard Pilika/Ren fans^^ goes to Lor-chan~~~ who shall be suffering and will be alienated from the bliss that is called Internet for two whole weeks! Hope you keep your sanity 'til then… for Sheo Darren also who supports my SK fics, arigatou!

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According to most people the middle child is the one who is mostly ignored by their parental figures. In the case of the Tao family, the youngest child is the one who is overlooked. True, Ren never really did care for attention and was much grateful for the fact that he was never given notice by parents, or grandparents (the things that his older siblings had to go through). It was to say; he was rather content leaving in his own quietude only noticed when he did something remotely good (which didn't occur that often) or when he did something bad (which happened most of the time).

And you must've imagine his surprise when his father suddenly ordered him to pack clothes that would last for a few days or so, supplied him some credit cards and a rather (actually very) thick sheaf of currency.

Hiding his surprise Ren even managed to voice his opinion… the one he had been dreaming of for… oh, I don't know the past few years of his entire life.

"You're disowning me?" he tried his best to mask his obvious glee, but failed quite miserably.

Needless to say the current leader of the Tao Clan, namely his father, En Tao merely rolled his eyes in reply.

"No, I am sending you on a mission."

Oh, what joy! Take note of the sarcasm, people.

Ren merely dismissed the new found knowledge. This kind of things transpired rather frequently, so he was not by any chance bothered by it… he would probably sent off to finish some cretin or something. Nothing he could possible not handle.

… That is until, he was informed that he must come back in the span of a week happily married to latter child of the Ainu Clan Head.

How he though wrong.

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Chapter One:

Happily Married? I Think Not!

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"I cannot believe I am doing this~~~!"

It didn't take a genius to figure out that he was livid.

Ren seemingly oblivious that he was a thousand feet off the ground and comfortably accommodated in one of the Tao's private airplanes (Always travel with class! – his mother's motto) with an inconspicuous older brother by his side chuckling at the hilarity of it all, was seething in deep red anger (read dangerous) was planning on the death of quite a number of people.

Ren turned to glare at his sibling, namely, Tao Hiu, who wasn't that inconspicuous after all.

One of them was the aforementioned person.

Hiu meanwhile, in a good-natured manner (quite unlike of his otoutou) sipped his Evian from a crystal flute; quite ignorant of the assassination schemes that circled his ever beloved younger sibling's mindset.

Unconsciously, both the same time, the brother's reflected at the conversation that took place earlier this morning:

Ren promptly, after hearing the *ahem* enlightening revelation burst into guffaws.

"You expect me to—BWAHAHAHAHA~~~!"

En Tao, to say was unfazed, by the fact that his youngest son was laughing his ass off on the damned floor (it was composed of immaculate white marble tiles to say at least, and plush carpeting) and could've qualified as a patient into a Mental Institute.

"I want you to marry Pilika of the Ainu tribe and someday produce me an heir or a dozen."

Ren promptly snapped out of his reverie of acting like an utter fool, and even had the decency to blush at the open remark of what his father was hinting at.

In life there are different stages.

One of them would be:

Denial.

"You're bluffing~~~! There is no way in earth—OR in Heaven and Hell for that matter—that I am gonna get MARRIED~~~! THIS IS AN UTTER CONSPIRACY~~!"

Needless to say he didn't take it quite lightly.

The statement above would be, quite possibly mentioned as one of the biggest understatements of the millennia.

"I'm going to kill him~~~!"

It is unfortunate to say that Ren has still not recovered and was, quite frankly, in the mood for one of his slaying sprees.

"My, my brother take it easy, I heard Pilika-chan is quite the looker." His older brother winked at him suggestively.

"SHUT the hell UP!"

"I still can't believe he's doing this to ME~~~!"

Meanwhile at another part of the world:

"I can't believe he's doing this to ME~~~!"

"Ojou-sama, please stay calm…" a rather helpless maid, sweat dropped as she surveyed the room of her mistress, which seemed to have been ran over by a typhoon.

"STAY CALM~~?!"

The poor hapless maid cowered back, not quite used to the angry streak, which seemed to have materialized from nowhere.

Pilika-sama is usually such a sweet tempered girl.

Says the maid who never witnesses the training sessions that the fourteen-year-old prepares for her onii-chan… but that is, a completely different story.

Pilika propped herself unceremoniously into her bed (the sheets have been scattered across the floor, and the pillows were reduced to nothing, but meager feathers) stubbornly crossing her arms in a determined fashion across her chest.

The maid stared, half fascinated, half scared, at the amount of teenage angst that radiated from the younger Ainu.

For Ren, the trip from Kishuu (sp?) to Hokkaido had ended too soon…

Time to face a clingy helpless brat…

Boy was he wrong…

Tsuzuku