Disclaimer: I don't own "how You Remind Me" either…
Note: Okay, this chapter is sad, then humorous. Read the (hopefully) underlined italics for sad part if U don't want to read the funny part. However, if you want to see Squall drunk, read all of it.
Chapter 37: UghNever made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
Tired of living like a blind man
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling
And this is how you remind me
Of what I really am This is how you remind meOf what I really am
I know I'm sick… I have known this for quite some time now. My thoughts aren't normal, my life isn't either. Normal mortals would have died millenniums ago…But I live on. My life is a cruel joke. I can't die, but I can't live either. "Living" in fear that the ones I protect will fall at my own hands, or those of my enemies. Gawd, how I long to feel the embrace of Hades. How he beckons for me to be one of his fold. But… I cannot. Hades is a stranger to me. His black eyes are a cruel irony in my slumber. He shows me death, and yet… and yet will not give it. I deserve Hades, as he deserves me. The sick, twisted couple of the underworld. Together for all eternity. I am nothing anymore. My once former glory is but a memory, a shadow etched into my mind, and those who knew me then. No one knows me now…I am but a pitiable shell of nothingness, trapped in this cruel shell of a body. It cries out for death, and Hades, so it may escape me too… I want to escape myself as well. I cannot, for I am myself to a degree. I am she that hurts me. I am she that cuts my deepest blow. I am she that she hurts. I am Death. I am the doom of innocence. I am corrupted beyond the help of even the One Being. He saddens at the mere thought of me, and curses Hyne for my creation. That is a lie. The One Being has pity for me. I am one that fell due to the one thing that was to remain pure in this world….However, yet even the heavens are against me now. I am evil incarnate. I am the plague of Black Death. My red hued wings cast a permanent black fills people with suffering, and cruelties. I deserve Hades. He is the only one that will truly accept me. Perhaps… I should give up, and surrender my body unto him. He will accept me, and get what he wants…. Lust…Perhaps it would be better that way. Save Squall the guilt of caring about… someone like me. But I can't. They hurt him too, and my child. My poor child. Can you not see why I could not come to you?! They were going to kill you if I found you! I searched in vain for the both of you recently, believing I could stand up for us. That I could stand… How funny. That I can be a independent person, much less be a help to anyone else…I must give them the revenge that they deserve… Then I can die in peace. I hope…
Oceania stopped writing in her journal as Squall came into her study. It was the place that they had given themselves up fully the previous night. She felt sanctuary there, and began writing her memoirs for her daughter for the future. She hoped that one day that Dewn would forgive her. Even if she was dead by then.
It's not like you say sorry
I was waiting for a different story
This time I'm mistaken
For handing you a heart worth breaking
And I've wrong, I've been down,
To the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
Scream, "Are we having fun yet?"
Yet, yet, yet, no, no
Yet, yet, yet, no, no
Squall's drenched body sat next to hers. She gave him the wool blanket that she had on to him. He wrapped up in it, and asked her how long she had been out here.
Oceania: A while.
Squall: Why aren't you eating with everyone?
Oceania: I only eat when necessary now. I'm… still full…
Squall: …Oh. shivers How do you not freeze to death out here?
Oceania: glares…sigh I can't die. Not easily anyways. Also, there is a way to make a path of ice, and to split the waterfall. So I rarely get wet getting into here. I was out here for a reason… sighs Take your clothes off. You're drenched. I'll dry them off, okay?
It's not like you didn't know that
I said I love, and I swear I still do
And it must have been bad
Cause living with him must have damn near killed you
And this is how, you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how, you remind me
Of what I really am
Squall complied, and as he handed her his clothes, their hands touched. He looked at her face, and was going to make his move, but the forlorn look in her eyes stopped him. She put his clothes by the fire, and gave him another blanket to wrap up in. He held her, and she made no movement, feeling unattached to her body. She hated feeling this way, to make him worry, to cause even more pain… She finally regained her composer, and embraced him back, grasping onto him for dear life. He was all that she had left. And get she felt guilty for that. She felt guilty that she cause him so much pain.
It's not like you say sorry
I was waiting for a different story
This time I'm mistaken
For handing you a heart worth breaking
And I've wrong, I've been down,
To the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
Scream, "Are we having fun yet?"
Yet, yet, yet, no, no
Yet, yet, yet, no, no
Yet, yet, yet, no, no
Yet, yet, yet, no, no
She grabbed a bottle of liquor and a couple of glasses. She poured the red liquid into them, and handed him one with less. He swirled it around a bit, and sipped some.
Oceania: It's not a wine, so chug it. It burns less if you toss it to the back of your throat. Trick I learned from a tavern…It's not lethal unless you totally O.D. on it, then it's your own fault. Don't worry; I bought it at a bar in Dollet. Yes, I actually paid for it, and don't ask how I got the money…cringes…Ugh. Bad memory.
Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
Tired of living like a blind man
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling
And this is how you remind me
Of what I really am This is how you remind meOf what I really am
They sat there, and drank. Letting the others deal with the world, even if it was only for a little while. Squall held onto her around her waist with one arm, and held his glass with the other. She leaned her head against her chest, letting the alcohol take effect. This was one of the few ways she could numb the pain of living.
It's not like you say sorry
I was waiting for a different storyThis time I'm mistaken
For handing you a heart worth breaking
And I've wrong, I've been down,
To the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
Scream, "Are we having fun yet?"
Yet, yet
Are we having fun yet? [3x's]
+_+ +_+ +_+ +_+ +_+ +_+ +_+Stupid Humor Begins +_+ +_+ +_+ +_+ +_+ +_+ +_+
The others ate what could be assumed as fish (I HATE seafood. Poor fishes, and crabbies, and such! ^ ~ ^). Dewn picked at her food, annoyed by the fact that she was eating at her mother's house. Ellone noticed that his food was staring at her, and found it rather unappealing. Irvine was cooking it (oh, gawd), and thus a food dilemma. He brought food along this time so Selphie wouldn't starve again. The act was sweet, but he can't cook. So eventually Zell scrounged around the house for food. He found potions, and other things instead.
Eventually Squall, clad in only his beautiful, black boxers because his pants were still drying, rejoined the group, looking for grub. Zell laughed, and Quistis popped him upside the back of his head with her chopsticks. The blonde yelled out in pain, and Dewn laughed quietly. Squall grabbed a piece of cheese pizza (the only surviving slice), and walked to his kid.
Zell: Hey, do you think she'll mind if we get some grub? Irvine's food does not meet the requirements of the FDA.
Squall (plastered): Look… under the ice.
Zell: Thanks.
Squall: Whatever.
Quistis: Ah, crap. You're drunk again.
Squall: Ye—p!
Quistis: Go lie down in the Phoenix.
Squall: Why for?
Quistis: Just do it.
Squall: thinks…I think I need a girl for that. Any volunteers?
Oceania (enters): Here's your pants.
Squall: Thanks.
Oceania: sigh I told you not to drink anymore. You must have grabbed the bottle when I was checking on your pants.
Squall: Good hic Stuff.
Oceania: Crap.
Squall: Irvine's food tastes like s___. And I am hungry. Where is food I can actually eat? I mean, it won't attack me in the process?!
Oceania: I think you should learn how to cook before you can talk.
Squall: Look who's talking little miss witchdoctor.
Oceania: That's it. Ellone, could you please take Dewn to the ship? (chases him w/ his gunblade). YOU F___ing A__!
*Dewn, and Ellone leave*
Squall: I'm drunk!
Oceania: Your point?
Squall: You lust me!
Oceania: stops running Damn you. I am trying not to laugh, so I can't run.
Squall: Then I'll come to you, my little private whore.
Oceania: sigh Come here.
Squall: So, you are my volunteer.
Oceania :mutters Dumb ass. (takes him downstairs)
Zell: Someone's gonna get some!
Oceania: Shut up!
Quistis: I married a child…
^A few moments later filled w/ screams, and cussing^
Oceania (reenters): Dumb ass.
Squall (reenters, sober): ...
Oceania: No more liquor for you! Can't even give him a shot of "special" vodka.
Squall: What was in that?
Oceania: A special mix by a friend of mine. He owned a tavern in Dollet, and I was his alcoholic muse. A lot of regrets there…
Zell: Like?
Oceania (covers Dewn's ears): I was a stripper, okay?! It was not too long ago, so let me be!
Squall: Dumb ass.
Zell: Hey!
Squall: Now about volunteering…
Oceania: SLAP Dumb ass… Oh, wait… I am, well… Come on (takes him to downstairs).
Selphie: Oh… gosh… a little Squania, or Oceall… How scary..
Irvine: There already is one. Dewn, remember?
Selphie: Oh, yeah… Scary…
Zell: Maybe that's why she turns evil.
*all stare, they don't know Dewn is Ultimecia*
Zell: What?! …thinks … Oh, never mind…(wow, Zell put 2, and 2 together b4 everyone else…)
