Disclaimer: "Until You're Reformed" is not own by me either.
Note:
Chapter 43: Secrets
Latisha staggered into the room from the balcony, her returning back to Oceania was almost complete. She cast her black cloak to the ground, and emptied it. A small light radiated from her chest, and consumed her whole body. Squall shielded his eyes with his arm, and turned away slightly. The light faded, leaving Oceania in control. She fell to the ground, her hair near her mouth moving in correlation to her heavy breathing. Blood spattered all over her clothes (which were the ones from earlier), and her body left bloodstains on the carpet.
Squall ran to her, picking her up into his arms. He held her close, his own clothing being smeared with the drying blood. He carried her to the bed, and laid her upon it. He went into the connected bathroom, and drew a bath. He removed her clothing, and put her in the steaming water. The water immediately turned oink, and the longer she stayed in it, the darker it got, the blood diffusing from her flesh. She sat in silence, absorbing the water's energy as her own.
She turned away from Squall, as he began to help wash her. She took away the washcloth, and told him to go, that she could take care of herself. He wetted his shirt before he left, and went the bedroom to clean up the mess. At first he only smeared the blood, creating a larger mess, but managed to clean it enough to where it wasn't terribly noticeable. He placed the bags in the closet, and called the maid to take the sheets away. He then called Quistis, and asked her to bring a cooler, and ice to the room. He didn't tell her why, but she seemed to understand that it was urgent.
Squall removed the sheets, and placed the on the ground by the door, hiding the blood with the other parts of the covers. The maid came, and replaced the bed sheets, and took away the bloodied set. She left with out saying a word, and Squall sat on the bed in deep thought.
Squall: Raine's my mother… And yet that bastard Laguna's my father. What did she see in him?… Ironic… Raine, and Rinoa start with the same letter. … Rinoa was there for me the first couple months we were together. I can remember how all that mattered was hearing her voice. But then I couldn't stand to be in the same room as her… I still… love her? … But I also hate her, and don't give a damn… But my feelings for her are still there… I want to see her face… smell her hair… Hold her close, and never let her go… But here's also Oceania… I have.. feelings for her too, but why? I hate her though too. She killed innocent lives, and killed Rinoa… Why is it that she's evil, and yet… good? I am so confused. Why does life have to be so damn complicated?!
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Not about
to try
Time to please no one
The first and last begins
You mutter, you child
Oceania sat in her red bath, letting the water out. It swirled down the drain, reminding her about how her life has gone. She stood up, red beads of water dripped down her back. She turned the shower on, and leaned against the wall, waiting for it to get warm. She wondered what Squall was up to, and used her powers to look at him. He sat on the bed, and she was curious what he was thinking about, so she entered his mind. She heard him thinking about Rinoa, and left his consciousness after "…and never let her go."
You
should ask for more
Tired of being your no one
Fame can't hurt my soul
You mutter, you child
Leave
She couldn't bear to hear anymore, her body slid to the ground, shaking with violent sobs. She thought he had used her, a sad attempt to rid his mind of Rinoa, or just as his bedfellow. She had thought that she could ignore him using her; that the few moments of bliss with him would be well worth the motives of his being with her. She was wrong. The pain of being used was a sharp blow to her, as if the wind was permanently knocked out from her soul, and body.
Her tears melded with the water as it poured onto her. The water ran a marbled red into the drain, her hair releasing the dried blood from itself. Her wet hair covered her face, hiding the pain, and anguish written all over it. She knew she had risked this when she let him have her the first time, but she thought he had changed. She clutched desperately at her abdomen, and chest, wanting to tear herself apart for being so naive, and stupid.
This is
not for real
Forever pleasing someone
The first and last begins
You mutter, you child
You mutter, you child
Leave
She slammed her fist against the side of the wall, her knuckles bleeding. She sucked the blood from them, and regenerated quickly, her food still helping sustain her. She wiped away the tears from her eyes, holding her waist the entire time.
Quistis knocked on the door, a Styrofoam cooled in tow. Squall opened the door, his face distorted with his thoughts. She entered the room, and sat the stuff down by the bed. He closed the door, and told her to keep anything she sees, smells, hears, and touches under wraps. She nodded in confusion, and put the ice in the cooler after dropping the bag a couple times to break it up. Squall got the organs from the closet, and they started layering the organs with ice (i.e. ice/ organs/ ice/ organs/ ice…). Quistis almost threw up a couple times, beside herself by what she saw.
She asked where Oceania was, and he silently pointed to the bathroom. Quistis knocked, and entered, steam rising from shower. She asked her to get out, handing Oceania a towel, and turning away. Oceania took the towel meekly, and wrapped it around herself. She tapped Quistis on the shoulder, and asked her what she wanted. Quistis shut the door, and talked to her in private, making sure that Squall could not overhear their conversation.
The two women exited the bathroom moments later, Squall hiding the cooler in the closet. Quistis helped him, and went to her room to get some clothes. Oceania sat on the bed, zoning out in deep thought. Squall finished hiding the cooler, tossing blankets, and dirty clothes on it. He swat next to her, placing his arm awkwardly around her shoulders.
Oceania: You don't have to.
Squall: …?
Oceania: Go ahead. Seal me now.
Squall: Why?
Oceania: I find no purpose to stay here any longer.
Squall: But I thought we-
Oceania: Don't you get it? As long as Rinoa owns you, there is no "we."
Squall: … No one owns me.
Oceania: That isn't the point. She has you bound. Death can't change that. Life can't change that. I can't change that. I accept that, and go to my final resting place. Consider our deal null, and void.
Squall: … I love her, yes, but-
Oceania: I can't hear this right now! If you want a physical relationship, go to someone else! I can't…breaks down into sobs I just…can't…
Squall: holds her Physical? If it were only that, I'd have hired a hooker, and had you killed long ago.
Oceania: …
Squall: What gave you the idea that I wanted her more than you? Yeah, I want her alive, but happy, and she wasn't with me. That was apparent when she slept with the other guys. I want you. I wouldn't have been with you otherwise.
Oceania: Oh… I guess I sound stupid… sniff I guess my system's out of whack…
Squall: Maybe food shock. Why'd you bring all that back anyways?
Oceania: Later. We decided to kill as little as possible when it would affect you. People hate you being around me, much less protect me from your father. I don't want my actions to hurt you. … I need to go with Quistis when she comes back, k?
Squall: Want me to come?
Oceania: No… You can't. Girl stuff, k?
Squall: …
Oceania: You should put a shirt on.
Squall: Why?
Oceania: Don't ask.
Squall: …
Oceania: …
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Quistis came in, shutting the door behind her. She handed Oceania a set of her clothes, and sat in a chair by the door. Oceania went inot the bathroom to change, and they sat in silence for a while. However, his curiosity got the better of him.
Squall: What are you two doing?
Quistis: … about to laugh Girl stuff.
Squall: …
Quistis: She didn't tell you?
Squall: …No.
Quistis: Then I'm not going to. She should be the one that tells you. … She says her injuries have healed, have they?
Squall: Yeah.
Oceania: enters Okay.
Quistis: He doesn't know?
Oceania: Nuh-uh.
Quistis: sigh …
Oceania: I can't okay? He'll freak out.
Quistis: Anyways, we should get going before it gets too late.
Oceania: Yeah. kisses Squall on cheek Bye. I'll explain eventually, just give me time.
Squall girls exit: What the hell?!
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