Disclaimer: If it belongs to someone else, I don't own it. Maybe borrow it, but it's still not mine.

Note: Okay, it may not work, but oh well! Due to the uploading being crappy, I need to find a better way to italicize everything. I previewed a couple chapters, and on the disk it was perfect, but on the upload it was crappy. Thus probable confusion as to what was lyrics maybe… I dunno, I think you people out here are smarter then that, but just in case, lyrics, and stuff are going to be (crosses fingers) in a diff. font.

Chapter 48: Despair

     Squall stepped off of the Venus, barely able to keep his balance. The world spun around him, nauseated from his father's flying. Ocea stood at the bottom of the platform, holding her bare arms as the cold wind whipped around her. Goose bumps rose on her skin, her love walking to her. He almost fell, but she caught him in her arms.

[Echo]

There's something about the look in your eyes
Something I noticed when the light was just right
It reminded me twice that I was alive
And it reminded me that you're so worth the fight

     He stood up, still weak in the knees. Laguna walked off, whistling, tossing Ocea the keys. She looked at the older man puzzled. Looking then at her beau, she decided to come up with a plan. She supported him, his weight shifted onto her shoulders. Ocea sat him on the bench nearby, caressing his chest to ease the discomfort. He slid his head onto her lap, her fingers running through his soft, dark hair. A chill ran down his back from the cold, and got up.

My biggest fear will be the rescue of me
Strange how it turns out that way
Could you show me dear...something I've not seen?
Something infinitely interesting

      She slid her fingers through his hair again, tears falling on his face. He looked up at her, his storming eyes looking into hers. Her blue were filled with tears, streaming down her cheek, and falling onto his face. He wiped a couple away, but more came. He clumsily took off his glove, using its fur lining to dry her eyes. He laughed a little, and motioned him to put it back on.

There's something about the way you move
I see your mouth in slow motion when you sing
More subtle than something, someone contrives
Your movements echo that I have seen the real thing

      He put it back on, and sat up. She put her legs on his lap, and buried her face in his arm. He rubbed her back, and asked her what was wrong. She only began to sob again. His hand wandered to her neck, massaging her delicate skin. She looked up at him, and began to tell him what was wrong.

Your biggest fear will be the rescue of you
Strange how it turns out that way
Could you show me dear...something I've not seen?
Something infinitely interesting

Ocea: Squall, you guys cannot go with me after the relics are regained. You can't go with me. You all must stay.

[Don't Dream It's Over]

There is freedom within, there is freedom without
Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
There's a battle ahead, many battles are lost
But you'll never see the end of the road
While you're traveling with me

Squall: Why?

Ocea: My… visions… I had one this morning. That was why I was up by the time you got up. It…. Scared the hell outta me.

Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know they won't win

Squall: There's a lot of hell in you.

Ocea: Wow, Squall making a joke. I must look like crap…

Squall: … I have a sense of humor.

Ocea: laughs Yeah...right.

Squall: … Whatever.

Ocea: See?

Now I'm towing my car, there's a hole in the roof
My possessions are causing me suspicion but there's no proof
In the paper today tales of war and of waste
But you turn right over to the T.V. page

Squall: So what did you see?

Ocea: … I saw what will happen should you, and the others join my quest. Leave while you still can.

Now I'm walking again to the beat of a drum
And I'm counting the steps to the door of your heart
Only shadows ahead barely clearing the roof
Get to know the feeling of liberation and relief

Squall: I've come this far, so we can't go back.

Ocea: Don't feel obligated to stay with me until the end just because we-

Squall: I… I love you. I can't let you go to your death, and just stand back, and watch.

Ocea: Nor can I.

Squall: We, at least I, are going.

Ocea (shakes her head): NO.

Squall: Don't bother fighting it. We aren't children.

Ocea: You are compared to me.

Squall: That doesn't mean a f---.

Ocea: You aren't going, and that's final.

Squall (glares): …


Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
Don't ever let them win

Ocea: I saw how you were going to die in VIVID detail. I can't bear to see it actually happen before my eyes. Leave!

Squall: …

Ocea (eyes glaze over): Irvine's coming.

      He helped her up, and they went inside. The glass doors slid open, the warm air blasting them as Irvine stood before them. His hat was at his side, and his bulky jacket on Selphie like a small child wearing her father's clothes. Her arms flapped at her side, the sleeves too long for her them.

Irvine: We're ready.

Ocea (nods, and walks past him): … (Selphie follows)

Squall: I guess I should pack.

Irvine: Selphie already did for you. I helped. Man, you have some odd shit.

Squall: You went through my stuff?

Irvine: Just doin' you a favor, man.

Squall: I need to make sure you got everything.

Irvine: I even grabbed that one thingy under the mattress. What the hell is that thing?

Squall: …

Irvine: laughs Oh…

Squall: Dumb ass.

[Squall's room]

Squall: Damn, they got everything. F---.  Even the really embarrassing stuff.

Ocea (walks in): What's wrong? That look is on your face again.

Squall: Selphie, and Irvine packed for us.

Ocea: Awww, how sweet… *horror stricken* Ahhh! Even the-

Squall: Yes.

Ocea: F---, f---, f---, f--- (continues to cuss)

Squall: We should get going.

Ocea (red faced): Crap.

Squall: I think they arte okay with it if you are worried about that.

Ocea: My condom collection?!

Squall: I was thinking about the other things being more embarrassing, but…

Squall: Whatever.

^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^

[When I Look To The Sky]

When it rains it pours and opens doors
And floods the floors we thought would always keep us safe and dry
And in the midst of sailing ships we sink our lips into the ones we love
That have to say goodbye

Chorus
And as I float along this ocean
I can feel you like a notion that won't seem to let me go

    

     Selphie sat in the cockpit, putting the thrusters on. (oh… gawd… that sounded wrong….ooops…). The vessel lifted in the air, her turbines groaning under the weight. (couldn't resist) She shot up, the Venus in all of her glory, like a bird soaring against the pale sky. Irvine sat in the seat next to her, and the others were in the back.

Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me
And you make everything alright
And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me
And I can always find my way when you are here

(Verse 2)
And every word I didn't say that caught up in some busy day
And every dance on the kitchen floor we didn't dance before
And every sunset that we'll miss I'll wrap them all up in a kiss
And pick you up in all of this when I sail away


     Zell lay down on Quistis's lap, his hair limp from lack of gel. Her hair hung down around her chest, strewn about like a mop. She didn't have time to put it up after her shower, the dark red mass soaking her clothes from the water it held.  Dewn, and Ellone stayed in Esthar for their own protection, the child's face streaming with tears as her parents parted from her. Squall's shirt was slightly ripped from her grasps, trying to hold onto him for dear life.

Chorus

(Verse 3)
Whether I am up or down or in or out or just plane overhead
Instead it just feels like it is impossible to fly
But with you I can spread my wings
to see me over everything that life may send me
When I am hoping it won't pass me by

And when I feel like there is no one that will ever know me
there you are to show me

     Ocea, and Squall sat down in silence, their thoughts preoccupying them from the rest of their environment. The cooler sat at her feet. He stared out his window, his hand gently grasped hers.  She looked at his hand, the black leather glove against her pale skin. She smiled, and returned to her thoughts.

Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me
And you make everything alright
And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me
And I can always find my way when you are here(X2)

_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

     The rain poured down on the ship, her wings being weighed do by the sleet, and rain. Ocea took note of this, looking at her surroundings. Her eyes dilated until all was black, and the rain ceased. She wasn't a water witch for nothing. She had let her emotions get in the way, her sadness reflected in the dark sky. The once gray clouds were an ominous black, their rain cut short by her power.

      Selphie said, "Whoo hoo," and all was well for the moment. Irvine gave a relieved sigh, and yelled back at Zell that they weren't doomed. Ocea laughed in her mind, and thought:

And I wanna believe you When you tell me that it'll be ok

Ya I try to believe you,
But I don't

Ocea: Squall, I know my fate, and will gladly face it if it means saving you.

When you say that it's gonna be,
It always turns out to be a different way,
I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today...

     I know what lies ahead, and it scares the hell outta me. I know you said everything would be okay, but you haven't seen what I have seen.

[Chorus:]

I don't know how I'll feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day

You face everything with such hope, and despair. You are untrusting and yet care. You're my living paradox. But my path is set before my feet. Now is the time when I only leap. Tomorrow's not going to be okay.

It's always been up to you,
It's turning around,
It's up to me,
I'm gonna do what I have to do,
just don't

Why can't you accept my life? Why can't you let it go, and acknowledge what will happen? I told you but a little part, and yet… You still have hope. Why? Squall, why do you still care? Why don't you just turn around, and leave me here?

Gimme a little time,
Leave me alone a little while,
Maybe it's not too late,
not today, today, today, today, today
...

Maybe you have your reasons to hope, but I have seen too much. Jaded by life, and visions, I have no hope to succeed. Maybe I need to be more like, you, and let go of this false illusion I hold onto. After I unite, I'll be myself, and give my foes fright. But you can't be by my side. I won't allow it. I will not let them hurt you, and them.

[Chorus:]

I don't know how I'll feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day

Maybe I should have hope, but for what reason? If I did, or do, it would only be for you. For you to go on, and raise our little Dewn. Soon she'll grow up right in front of you. But you need to let me go…

Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, and I know I'm not ready,
Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, maybe tomorrow

Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, and I know I'm not ready,
Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, maybe tomorrow

Gawd how the rode before me scares me. How am I to believe? How am I to go on? Maybe I need more power, and strength to go on. I want you to be right about us, but I…

And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok,
Yeah I try to believe you,

I don't…