Raven: Long time no story right. I'm having a major writer's block. So the updates on other stories will take time. By that time enjoy this! I take back what I said earlier, this fic will now be a series of random insane ficlets. If I ever get a good idea, I'll torture Relena and Dorothy for you, by then, keep sending me your suggestions. How would you guys like to see your names with G-boys torturing Relena and cockroach brow?
Prelude
"Do I have to do it?" Duo asked paling at the thought of it.
"You have to! You know what he gets like when you don't do it" Quatre retorted putting his "Remedies book away".
"Don't remind me" Duo said shivering at a flashback.
"How did you manage to squirm yourself in that huge gutter" Wufei asked Heero.
"Goes to show you're getting fat Wu-man" Duo interjected.
"What! INJUS………"
"INTERMISSION" Trowa shouted, interrupting Wufei's cry of justice, as he placed the hot and sour noodles in front of the unfortunate pilots. Seeing what Quatre was reading he said "No use reading that! I've already tried it, nothing but hiccup cures". After a light pause:
"Alright! I get the dibs on the first floor bathroom" Duo said digging in
Mission possible: Curing Heero's Hiccups
Ac 197, the G-boys joined the Preventers to busy themselves with something. All is well and the peace corruptors are in for in as all five boys leave out for there mission. Preparations delayed their usual time of departure as a braided Baka ate too much of Trowa's hot and spicy cooking. The others....
"Don't even ask!" Heero interjected [glaring at me]. "DUO HURRY UP, WE WOULD HAVE LEFT AN HOUR AGO" he shouted.
"No we don't, we still have an hour left to go besides, Is Trowa there?" Duo asked quietly
"NO!" Wufei shouted before Heero could answer.
"Ok" then he took a deep breath and "WHY THAT LOUSY COOK! I CAN'T TAKE HIS COOKING! IT'S TOO HOT!" taking in another deep breath, Duo came out, eyes closed and continued, "I'D RATHER EAT RELENA'S POISONOUS COOKING! IT'S TOO MUCH I……….I…Iee, yaee, yaee, yaee…" Duo stopped as he bumped into something, looking up (yes looking up) he stared into the fiery eyes of pilot 04……
"He! He! Trowa my man! So nice to see you" he said sweating bullets as Trowa stretched to his full height, over shadowing poor Duo who looked too small, and cracked his knuckles.
Another five minutes later
"Snicker! Snicker" snickered Wufei.
"Oh! Shut up" Duo said taking out an ice pack and putting it on one eye.
"Where are we heading" Heero asked.
"Romefellar headquarters" Quatre replied "There's something going on there, I guess something's never change!" he added looking at the laptop which displayed their mission briefing's.
"There's some unrest within that colony, Romefellar has been strengthening up its military force onto that single colony X- 403554" Trowa said. (A/N you must emphasize on every number)
"Their base is there right?" Wufei asked.
"Romefellar is getting tired of this peace, so they think the best way to enjoy life is to take over a colony, create tension and world unrest and finally create havoc" Duo said removing the ice pack revealing his black eye.
"Yeah you're right! And keep lazy baka's like you active" Wufei added.
"What would you do if I hit you hard where it hurts?" Duo asked eyeing him dangerously with the eye he still had functioning.
"Take the worst thing you can imagine and multiply it by hundred" Wufei said in a sinister way.
"No really! What would you do" Duo said greatly annoying Wufei.
"Why don't you find out for yourself" Wufei said.
Another five minutes later
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Duo shouted while a speeding Wufei rocketed towards his unfortunate prey.
Raven: O_O! Duo why the heck did you hit him!
Duo: He irked my curiosity
Later we see that Duo has two ice packs on his eyes. And they boarded a civilian shuttle and headed of towards their base in Colony L4
Quatre: Their base?
Raven: Yes their base!
"Guys we need to plan out how we're gonna carry out this mission, we need to go somewhere where no one will get suspicious" Quatre said in a low voice.
"That's where you come in" Heero replied. Quatre pondered on what Heero had meant. Then mixed emotions came onto his face, first he was calm, then frowned, then gritted his teeth and said "What am I, your piggy bank" rather annoyed.
"Exactly" He said.
They entered the Winner enterprises building with a not so happy Quatre.
"The mission is quite simple, we just have to go in there and blow up all the mobile suits, free the hostages as well as take their base under control" Trowa said sitting on the sofa.
"Whoopee" Duo said unenthusiastically going into bathroom (and don't worry dear readers, his eyes were fine now)
"Destroying the suits is easy but what exactly do you mean by saying take over?" Heero asked Trowa.
"When we destroy their mobile suits, we'll call for back up and Noin and the others can take it from their" Trowa said.
"Well this should be piece of cake" Duo said from inside the toilet.
"Seems easy! But without our Gundams, were out numbered, 5 to 10,000 soldiers, we have to opt a way in which we won't be noticed" Trowa said.
After a long pause…
"Ventilators" they all said simultaneously
"Truly is a blessing" Duo said smiling, but then he saw something scurrying across the floor. He released the safety lock on his gun.
"But won't we need a diversion entering the building" Quatre said.
"Winner, that buildings heavily guarded, a person stupid enough to shoot a cockroach with a Colt S.I. 7mm, model number 5294 gun is right for the job" Wufei said.
Heero, who was lying on the bed, eyes suddenly, flew open "Isn't that the same gun that Duo has?"
Just then a loud HEEEEYAAAAAAAA came from the bathroom followed by a gun shot. Duo broke the door down while a brown blur went by.
"YOU WON'T GETAWAY THIS TIME YOU FIEND!!!!" Duo shouted exiting after the cockroach who sat on Wufei's head.
BANG! BANG! The bullets whizzed pass Heero's bangs ---//O\\o\\--- and headed towards Wufei who remained still. After a lot of havoc created by the God of insanity, things calmed down. Wufei was still in his position.
"Wufei?" Duo asked. Seeing his transfixed white eyes and face, Duo touched him with a finger and Wufei fell down.
"Oh he's fine" Duo said looking up and staring at the pilots who were staring at him with an expression he did not like. "What?" he asked.
Later…
"OH NO!" Duo shouted.
"OH YES" the others shouted.
"NO way I'm gonna do something crazy like that!" Duo said crossing his arms.
"Duo Improvise, you'll get to do all the CRAZY things you wanted to do" Quatre suggested. The God of death smiled mischievously at that comment, and managed to hatch another one of his crazy plans.
At the mission…
"Heero I'm going to throw the knockout gas, Quatre and Wufei will be on the other side by now" Trowa said.
"Got it" Heero said adjusting the harness around his waist. "Duo, you all set" he said in the walkie talkie.
"Yup, just make sure you're wearing those ear plugs" Duo said at a far off distance left towards the building. "Bass: full, Volume: full, treble: full!" he said. With the push of one button the whole base started vibrating.
"EVERYTHING SO BLURRY, EVERYONE SO FAKE, EVERYBODY'S EMPTY AND EVERYTHING IS SO MESSED UP"
He had blasted Puddle of mudd: Burry on top till your eardrums started excruciating.
"I WONDER WHAT YOUR DOING, I IMAGINE WHERE YOU ARE, THE'RE OCEANS IN BETWEEN US, BUT THAT'S NOT VERY FAR"
Heero had felt the vibrations and he and Trowa after throwing the knockout gas, firing at three guards, entered the ventilators. Soldiers ran past each other as ants would in a situation. They covered their ears due to the deafening sound coming from the left wing of the building. By now Duo had entered the ventilation system and the soldiers had massacred the woofers.
"Heh! I've always wanted to do that" he said turning left and right in that squashed maze. A few explosions told him that the mobile suits were destroyed.
Later all of them met at the top of Romafeller's acting commander's office.
"Okay! I have to contact Noin to get here" Trowa said.
"The sooner the better I'm cramped" Wufei said. "Duo could you move over and get off me" he said at the braided pilot.
"Well I would if there was any where to go" Duo said from above Wufei. "Man this is disturbing" he said glumly.
"Why you little…"
"Wufei you're not the only one suffering so shut up" Heero said next to a squished Quatre who was crushing him.
"Shh, someone's coming"
"That's their leader?" Heero said.
"Kinda tall isn't he" Trowa said.
"Wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy tall" Duo said wide eyed, staring at the six foot and 5 inches commander.
"Heero move over I think I'm getting a cramp" Quatre moaned.
"Quatre this no time for….. Hic!" Heero said but to be interrupted rudely by a
"Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic!"
All the G-boys clamped their hands on his mouth.
"Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic!" Heero still said as all the pilots stared at him in awe. Quatre's cramp was long forgotten.
The extremely tall, bald man in the room looked up to see what the cause of all the infernal noise was. Thinking it was only his mind playing tricks with him he returned to his work of giving orders. Heero was by now sweating like hell with all the pilots vibrating as they had their hands on Heero's mouth. A soldier came in saluting his commander.
"Commander! We haven't found the enemy yet! But we're pretty sure that they are here somewhere" a soldier said.
Heero had stopped hiccupping; the pilots took their hands off and listened quietly.
"Get back up! That enemy is still here! I can feel it" He said feeling something on his head.
Trowa noticing how the man felt their presence pulled Duo back as he was breathing 7 inches away from his head. Duo mouthed the words:
"Well it's not my fault they make these damn ceiling to short"
"Right away sir"
"HICCU…." Another hand slammed on Heero's mouth, interrupting his hiccup, in time too.
"Did you hear that?" the commander asked
"Yes sir! It came from the…." The soldier's sentence was cut by his commander taking out a gun and shooting the ventilator. Blood slowly oozed out of the numerous holes.
"Sir should we see who……….."
"Never mind that! Whoever it was, is dead now" with that said the commander and soldier exited the room.
"MMMMMMMMMmmmmm! I love ketchup" Duo said licking his finger in one of the ventilation duct connecting to the one in which they previously were in.
"Heero! Hey Heero you alright!" Wufei asked concerned who was in opposite shaft to Duo.
"Hic…Hic…Hic…Hic...Hic…Hic…Hic" said a very white Heero shaking.
"Good to know you're okay! NOW GET OFF MY HEAD" Quatre said in a muffled voice from beneath Heero.
"Boy if I ever get my hands on that guy I'll KILL HIM" Trowa growled mending his bang.
A replay of the situation:
The bullet is advancing towards the pilots whose eyes widen with shock and unexpectedness. The bullet had whizzed passed the middle of Trowa's bangs, who was looking down, and he got up close and personal with the bullet. It had split his hair in two sections
(NO THEY DID NOT COME OFF JUST SEPARATED FROM THE MIDDLE LIKE THIS:
//_O\\)
Duo had poured some diluted ketchup as finishing touches. (With him you never know what he brings along)
The boys had skedaddled in a crucial moment in a packed ventilator. Wow!
Wait! What are we gonna do about Heero's hiccups, it's a shame to the masters of stealth" Wufei said. Heero glare and hiccupped.
"Scare them away" Duo suggested. "But the mission is almost complete we'll help him later"
"We need to go separate ways to find a control room, free hostages and get outta here" Quatre said, his bangs displaced. "
"Hmm!" Trowa grumbled "Heero you're coming with us, Duo, Wufei go find a control room, you know what to do!" he growled. They both nodded and headed out. He grabbed Heero who just said "Hic...hel…HIC!.. Help…hiccup…me"
"How many hostages are there?" Quatre asked when he cooled down.
"Hic! Fo..! Hic! Four" Heero managed to say.
"Quiet! We're above the prison room," Trowa said looking down he said, "There are two delegates from the colonies and…" But he was interrupted by Quatre who had also bent down to scan the room blocking his view.
"Oh! Miss Relena what are we to do" (guess who said that).
"DOROTHY!!!!" Quatre screamed in fear in the ventilator and with a thump hit his head.
"Oh wow! The knights in shining armor are here! I'm coming Quatre" she said playfully.
"Get out of my Hic!" Heero said. Dorothy had somehow managed to climb up to the ventilator and Quatre had skedaddled out of there. Heero came forward and out popped Relena!
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" He shouted trailing after Quatre and also bumping his head. After a while he said
"Hey! My hiccups are gone, what a relief"
Afterwards, Noin came with back up and got Quatre out whose cramps had returned after Heero's hiccups went away.
Epilogue
At Home Duo was reading the book of remedies. Putting it down, he went in for the kill.
Heero was enjoying the comfy couch while an enemy lurked. With great stealth ness he approached and said in a girl's voice:
"HEEERRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Heero jumped at the unexpected call.
"Hey! Heero! Did I scare your hiccups away?" Duo asked eagerly. His only reply from above the fan was
"Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic! Hic!"
Raven: Well! Did you like it! Review please. Flames will be laughed at. I only got till now in my other stories, two flames. Cool!
