Roguegal17 sent some very convincing comments for the Ian/Ares argument.  Some of them I hadn't even thought of, and probably never would have on my own!  They are:

One) Have a penchant for black clothing and looking damn sexy in it.

Two) Obsessively in love with dark haired women who are pretty handy with a sword.

Three) Must contend with blond sidekicks who they feel are most annoying and probably wouldn't mind them being dead.

Four) Question of genetics and family. i.e Ares in question as Xena's father & Ian in question of being Sara's brother (or such).

Five) Fighting and Violence as an art form and a must.

Six) IMHO, Some of the few men who look equally handsome with a beard and without (i.e The Ian clone and Ares as Cupid)

Seven) Seriously screwed up Father issues.

Eight) Spend half their time being a pain in the ass and the other half, "helping" in their own special way.

Nine) Appearing and disappearing mysteriously, though our heroine's spidey sense usually gives them away.

Ten) Voyueristic tendencies

i completely agree with every one of them, and personally with number six.  i don't really like facial hair, but i think both Ares and Ian look good with or without it.  and the one about the blonde sidekick... ;-D  no offense to any Jake-sympathizers out there (and Gabrielle, coincidently), but i have a tendency to be a basher.  it's all in fun, so nobody get worked up or anything! 

Thanks, roguegal, for sharing! ^_^
 

Part One: So Happy Together

Chapter Three:

The Only One for Me is You, and You for Me

Inside, Ian did not need to wait for his eyes to adjust through the sunglasses to know that Jake had been waiting for them.

"Hey!  Pez!"

At Jake's greeting Sara felt Ian's fingers tighten almost painfully around hers.  She elbowed him in the side and whispered sotto voce, "Behave."

"Hey, Jake, wasn't sure I'd be seeing you tonight.  At least not here.  You get a ticket?"

"Naw.  I just flashed my badge and all was forgiven...you gonna introduce me to your friend?"  Jake squinted at the man holding Sara's hand and decided it was only the darkness of the bar that made him look slightly familiar.  He couldn't remember any of Sara's friends, excluding his wonderful self, having blonde hair.  Certainly not that length.  He'd remember that.

"Nnn—Nathaniel," Sara sputtered, kicking herself for not having thought this far ahead.  What was her plan?  She didn't have one.  Wasn't that the way she did everything?  Hey, she mentally snapped back at herself.  I have enough to think about!  I don't need you ragging me, too!  And in a softer, quieter thought she wondered, should I be worried?

Jake raised an eyebrow at that and said, "Okaayy.  Well, nice to meet you, Nnn—Nathaniel.  The name's Jake," then the oblivious rookie did the unthinkable---and offered his hand.

'Nathaniel' growled.

Oh boy!  "Um, okay, can you excuse us a moment, Jake?  I need to get a drink, preferably alcoholic.  Come along, Nathaniel."

"No problem," Jake said to Sara's back and the blonde she was dragging away none too gently.  Somehow he just knew that the man was glaring at him through those dark, obscuring sunglasses.  It made his skin crawl.

"Wow, Nottingham, could you possibly be anymore subtle?  Maybe next time you could actually show a little teeth?"  It's like having a wolf on a leash.  A very territorial wolf.  Sara situated herself onto a stool and braced herself against the bar as Ian followed suit.

"He's going to hurt you," was the extent of his argument. 

"Yeah, well, I'm a big girl.  I can handle Jake."

"I could take care of him for you," Ian suggested innocently.

"No."

Silence, then, "Please?"

"No."

"I could do it real quick and painless.  It would be an act of mercy."

"No," she replied automatically.  "NoNoNoNo."

"I could---"

"Nottingham, I said no!  You are not going to kill Jake, for any reason."  The bartender set a cold beer on the counter before her.  She picked it up in her one free hand and held it out to Ian.  He thoughtlessly twisted off the top, then busied himself with glaring at the bartender for his obvious rudeness.  It would NOT go unpunished.

"You want a beer?"

"No.  Thank You.  I do not drink alcohol."

"Your loss," she said, tipping the bottle back and letting the blessed liquid pour down her throat.  After a night like this, I couldn't not drink.

"Hey, is everything okay," Jake cut in, making an appearance.

'Nathaniel's' growl cut-off abruptly as Sara squeezed his fingers together, hard.

"Fine, everything's fine," Sara said quickly, "Isn't that right, Nathaniel?"

"You mean besides the pain in my hand?"  At Sara's glare Ian conceded.  "Yes, great, everything is fine, De-tec-tive McCartey."

"You been talking about me to your boyfriend, Pez," Jake inquired innocently after Ian practically bit his title off.

"You have no idea, rookie."  Sara cringed slightly at his choice of words.  An action she promptly gave up in favour of eyeing Nottingham warily as he leaned across the bar to whisper to the bartender.  Her attention shifted to the bartender who then set about making some mixed beverage she did not recognize.

"I thought you said you didn't drink," she whispered to him.  It must have looked coy as hell to Jake, but it wasn't like she cared.

Ian turned to her, his 'blonde hair' scratching against her cheek.  "I don't," he whispered back.

"What did you say to the bartender?"

"A halber emez iz a gantzer lign."

"That's what you said?" Sara asked, sarcastic, confused, and incredulous, all at the same time.

"More or less."

She just shook her head.  Then watched as the bartender carried the newly made drink across the crowded floor and set it down at a table occupied by a man, early 20s, in a, Sara squinted, 'boys lie' t-shirt.  For a moment she actually wondered if Ian swung that way, as well as hers...but it was then that Ian turned conversationally to Jake and said, "I do believe that gentleman over there is trying to get your attention, Detective McCartey."

Sure enough, when Jake turned the man raised his newly acquired drink and winked.  Jake sputtered, that was the only way to describe the noises he was making.  The sputtering turned into full-out choking as the man got up and started towards their little eclectic group.  Sara watched the whole scene unfold with wide, disbelieving eyes.

"Uh, guys, I...uh *gulp* I'll be right back," with that Jake quickly sprinted in the direction of the bathroom and away from the approaching suitor.

"You are evil," was all Sara could get out before the man reached them, confusion on his face as he looked just in time to catch Jake's blonde head disappear.

Stepping in suavely, Ian nodded towards Jake's hasty exit and said, "He asks that you follow him."  With that Ian raised his eyebrow conspiringly.

'boys lie' grinned at him, "Thanks man!"

Ian grinned back, "No problem."

Sara observed it all in stunned silence.  Stared at Ian as he turned back to her, expression empty with a soft edge of satisfaction to his lips.  Since there was no longer a need to hide who he was, he very definitely removed the sunglasses and hooked them through his coat pocket.

"Feel better now?"

"A little."

"Well, you do have a sense of humour, after all.  Though I'm not sure Jake would agree."  I'm not sure I agree...

"I distracted Detective McCartey so that we could slip away unnoticed."

"Yeah, I definitely think Jake is distracted."  She took a drink, set her beer down.  Then started laughing.  "And I thought I was never going to live this night down!  Jake won't want to speak of it now!  EVER!"

"That was the idea," he smiled at her and she smiled back.

"No, it wasn't.  You were just being vindictive."

"Me?  Surely not."

She took one look at the exaggerated innocence in his brown eyes and nearly fell out of her stool backwards.  Ian braced her against his side to keep her upright, smiling almost dreamily as her laughter fell around him in peals.

"Oh, stop it-stop it!  You are so bad!"  As soon as she heard the words spill out of her mouth, with a slightly flirtatious lilt even, she froze.

"Whoa.  We are not talking like I think we're talking..."

"Like friends, you mean?"

"Well...yes."

"Am I wearing a suit, Sara?"

"Um..no?"  What is this guy's obsession with suits!?  It's weird!

"If you ever see me in a suit then I am truly your enemy."

"Uh, okay.  I guess I'll remember that for future reference."  You freak.

"I am not your enemy, Sara."

"Uh-huh."

"You can trust me."

"Uh-huh."  Not buying swampland today...

"I want us to be friends, Sara.  Companions."

Why did she think he meant something else by that last word?  Shaking her head, she slid off the stool, paid for her drink and glanced back at him.  "Listen, Nottingham, you don't wear any suits and I'll think about what you're saying.  Deal?"

"Deal," he said.

She held her hand out automatically to shake on it, then waved it away when she remembered they were still bound together by the Witchblade.

"We are leaving now," he asked, trying not to sound eager.

"Yeah.  As soon as I..."

"...Yes?"

She glanced at him, then away, her voice very small when it came.  "I need to use the---uh..."

Ian stared at her in puzzlement, then it dawned on him.  "Oh---OH!"

"Yeah," she sighed.

Ian tried not to think about what that meant.

"Are you happy now," Sara hissed, interrupting Ian in his non-thinking and causing him to blink back to reality.  Sara glared down at the quiet bracelet.  He didn't know if it answered, only that a moment later she spun around and started pulling him through the crowd.

"A stalker-escort to the toilet.  This is so humiliating!"

Ian was quick to agree, especially since he, now, had to go.

TBC...