Tangled Worlds
(Or: Two Realities Intertwined by Six Bored, Immortal and Powerful Omnipotent Beings)

by baru-chan

Author's Notes: I edited ch 2 a bit. Nothing major, just fixed a few typos and making N'grakún calling Morgoth by his other name (Melkor) since the omnipotents don't like Elves at all that much and Fëanor was the one who first called him Morgoth. I also included chapter descriptions just below the chapter numbers.

This chapter is dedicated to the author Diana Wynne Jones, who wrote Howl's Moving Castle and Castle in the Air -- two of the most entertaining books I've ever read.

Chapter Rating: PG
Overall Rating: PG


CHAPTER THREE
In which the first law of insatiable curiosity is demonstrated by two 1/16 Maiar, 3/8 Men and 9/16 Elves

A certain red-haired Man named Himura Kenshin slowly woke up to the sound of musical voices talking. He didn't know where he was. He didn't know how long he was there. All he knew was that the smell was terrible.

However, the thing that made the redhead wake up completely was the notion that those oni had taken him prisoner.

What the ex-assassin did next was one of the things he would regret for the rest of his life. Himura Kenshin, most feared swordsman in the Ishinshishi, groaned. Loudly, too.

The First Law of Insatiable Curiosity states that when anything makes a sound, the insatiably curious creature would always investigate. Especially if said insatiably curious creature is an Elf. Of course, if there was just one insatiably curious Elf present when Himura Kenshin decided to announce his presence to the world, he wouldn't have a problem. Unfortunately for our favorite scar-faced, red haired, violet eyed, would-be-schizophrenic ex-assassin, there was not one but two -- yes, that's right, two -- insatiably curious Elves. They also happened to be related.

Twin brothers, in fact.

There was once a theory proposed in one of the multiple dimensions long, long ago that curiosity might be a genetic trait. After much research, experimentation and cross-referencing, the theory was proven correct.

Let us all bow our heads, pray to the Valar and ask for protection in Himura Kenshin's behalf.

He would need it.

******

The Six Omnipotent Beings were in Alkhr'ghët, the dimension they usually stayed in when it was time for its inhabitants to throw a feast in their honor. Alkhr'ghët's inhabitants, the P'nïtw'rghâ, were dying out because of a horrible plague. The Six Omnipotent Beings kept them from being extinct. In return for the Omnipotent Beings' services, the P'nïtw'rghâ worshiped them, which they didn't mind, because the Six felt that they were grossly underappreciated anyway.

However, the P'nïtw'rghâ were the last thing that was in Five of the Six Omnipotent Beings' collective mind (if they had one). J'linér was working up a rage. The P'nïtw'rghâ call her their Godess of Darkness and Anger, and they couldn't have thought of a better title for the hot-tempered omnipotent being.

"Zòbr'kún, why, in the multiple dimensions of the Great and Almighty One, did you transport our little plaything to the WAR OF WRATH?! You were supposed to bring him to the WAR OF THE RING! Is the difference between those two wars so large that your tiny, omnipotent brain could not process it? Is that it? ANSWER ME!!!" J'linér raged, disturbing the relative peace of the surrounding area; barring, of course, the fact that the said surrounding area's inhabitants could see or hear them.

"J'linér, dearie, calm down!" Zòbr'kún desperately cried out. "I merely miscalculated a few years..."

"'A few years' my corporal form's arse! You brought Himura SEVERAL THOUSAND YEARS before the War of the Ring! As in: the First Age. When that wayward cousin of ours decided to plague that dimension! WHY DID YOU BRING HIM TO THAT AGE?! You stupid, idiotic, moronic P'TNG-NA!"

"Great," said N'grakùn to Lásq'r. "Zòbr'kún reduced J'linér to Tekâluok." Tekâluok is the language of extraordinarily beautiful creatures who call themselves the Sadsratak. They have blue skin, silver hair and purple eyes. Strangely enough, though, these beautiful creatures' language is harsh and guttural, which was contradicting. Of course, since J'linér doesn't like contradictions, they were her bane of existence.

"I want you to remedy this mishap, and I want you to DO IT NOW!" yelled J'linér.

"Yes, ma'am!" squeaked Zòbr'kún.

"And for the Almighty One's sake, make him understand every language the others and I want our plaything to understand!"

"Yes, ma'am!" Zòbr'kún was starting to sound like a broken machine that could be found in one of the multiple dimensions out there that plays music on round pieces of plastic with grooves on it. In other words: He sounded like a broken record player.

"Orkish!" said K'nér.

"Khuzdul!" exclaimed Bêlorún.

"Quenya!" That was N'grakùn.

"Sindarin!" That was L'ásqr.

"Rohirric!" snarled J'linér.

"There, all done! I even added Telerin to the list! Now can we please go back to having fun?" whined Zòbr'kún pathetically.

******

Elrond cut off his conversation with Elros at the sound of the Man's groan. He, along with his brother, turned to look at the red head.

The Man swiveled around, widened his violet eyes, and squeaked at the sight of the twins. Elros, who had yet to learn the fine art of tactfulness, asked him, "Do your vocal chords function differently from ours?"

Violet eyes widened even more at the sound of the question and the Man gave another "peep". Of course, any mortal subjected to twin stares of two Half-Elves (though it was more like 1/16 Maia, 3/8 Man and 9/16 Elf -- or 6.25% Maia, 37.5% Man and 56.25% Elf if you prefer) would do the same thing the Man did, but the fact that he did squeak mystified the twin brothers. Elrond suddenly realized that the Man did have a different set of vocal chords -- a mortal's voice doesn't sound musical, does it?

******

Kenshin was afraid. Yes, he was honest enough to admit -- at least, to himself -- that he felt fear. Of course, being subjected to two piercing stares at the same time would instill fear even to the hardest of hearts.

Especially if the starers happen to be descendants of a Maia.

The rurouni attempted to stifle the urge to swallow, but unfortunately, his throat did not cooperate. He gulped, the sound reverberating within the small tent.

"Ano...where am I de gozaru ka?" he asked the two 1/16 Maiar, 3/8 Men and 9/16 Elves in perfect Sindarin -- well, except for the first and the last three words, of course.

"What did I tell you?" Elros said to Elrond. "The adan has a different set of vocal chords. He sounds like a woman!"


Glossary:

adan -- Man (Sindarin)
ano -- "um..." (Japanese) de gozaru ka -- "de gozaru" is an ultra-polite phrase suffixed to any sentence. It is the archaic form of the words "de gozaimasu" and was used by ninjas and samurai when addressing their lords. "Ka" is added when "de gozaru" is suffixed to a question (Japanese)
Ishinshishi -- the faction opposing the shogunate during the civil war before the Meiji Restoration in Japan (Japanese)
Khuzdul -- language of the Dwarves
oni -- ogre, demon (Japanese)
Orkish -- language of the Orcs
Quenya -- tongue of the High Elves of Valinor, brought to Middle-earth by the Noldor
Rohirric -- language of the Rohirrim
rurouni -- lit. wandering masterless samurai (Japanese)
Sindarin -- Grey-Elven speech
Telerin -- speech of the sea-faring Elves from Valinor

Secondary Disclaimers:

The Curiosity is a Genetic Trait Theory mentioned earlier isn't real, I just made it up.

For those of you who are wondering how the heck I found out about the exact composition of Elrond and Elros' blood: It's simple. The thought that Tolkien was too lazy to calculate the exact amount of "blood" of each hybrid in M-e because he called Elwing, Eärendil, Elrond, Elros, Elladan, Elrohir and Arwen Half-Elves. Since I wasn't paying any particular attention to my class when I thought of that, I decided to calculate things. Here are the blood compositions of most of the descendants of Lúthien:

Dior - 1/4 Maia, 1/2 Man, 1/4 Elf
Elwing - 1/8 Maia, 1/4 Man, 5/8 Elf
Elladan, Elrohir and Arwen - 1/32 Maia, 3/16 Man, 25/32 Elf