The Misadventures of Merry and Pippin

For the first time in years the whole fellowship, minus Boromir, was gathered in Aragorn's newly gained castle, to celebrate Frodo Baggins' birthday. Everyone was laughing and enjoying a tale told by Gandalf the White. Amongst their rowdy cheers and boisterous laughs, a small clink was heard by and equally small creature. Peregrin Took slid out of his seat and scurried after the small trinket as it rolled into the adjacent room. Spotting his friend's retreating back, Meridoc Brandybuck, he too slid out of his chair and hurried after Pippin.

No one saw the pair leave as another round of loud laughter burst forth from the group. The door shut slightly behind them as Pippin picked up the strange trinket. "Hey Merry, what is this?" He said turning it over in his hand. "Oh, that, I found it in my sisters room. She showed me how to use it, here let me show you." Merry picked the object out of his friend's hand.

~*~

After the laughter died down a bit Aragorn stood, "Would anyone, like another drink?" He scanned the table, and found two missing, Merry and Pippin. "Does anyone know where those two left to?" Aragorn asked curiously. "They left? I wondered why it suddenly got quiet in here..." Samwise said trailing off so only Legolas and Frodo next to him could here him. Chortling to himself Legolas stood up. "I can hear them in the next room." Walking gracefully over to the door, he stood next to the ajar door. He held in his laughter and waved Aragorn over. Listening to the conversation inside, Aragorn kept his face neutral. But after a few minutes he looked slightly disturbed and amused. This brought everyone else's attention. Crowding around the door they heard, "No Pip, your not stroking hard enough. Let me show you how to. All you have to do is get your fingers all the way around it and then dip it, and then stroke. Yeah that's better I suppose." "What do you mean? My fingers are all the way around the bloody thing Merry. Its not that hard." "Sometimes you are just naïve Pip. I thought that you wanted to do this." "I do. It looks like fun, but it smells bad." "Well you're not supposed to stick your nose in it..."

The two other hobbits look slightly confused [seeing as they are soo cute and pure that they wouldn't know anything aboot seks if it danced naked in front of their faces.] Aragorn composed himself. "I think I should put a stop to this..." He covered his eyes with his hand and was about to open the door. "Stand back, this may not be a pretty sight..." Pushing the door open he exclaimed, "Coming in!!!"

~*~

The two hobbits looked at the ranger weirdly. "Umm Aragorn? Are you alright?" Merry asked. Lowering his hand slowly, a look of relief washed over his features. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?" "Well why did you enter a room in your own castle covering you eyes then?" Pippin wondered aloud. "Its um, a joke. Yeah a joke... Anyway, what were you doing in here?" His eyes held great amusement as he spoke. They explained to him what happened, and what they were doing. Ushering the two hobbits back out to the group. "What was all the commotion about Aragorn?" Gimli spoke for the whole group. Aragorn held out the trinket. "Nail Polish."

[I do not own LOTR or anyone in it]