For my darling readers: Tigerlily- thanks for your encouragement, Diane: terribly sorry for all the Relena torture but don't worry it'll end soon, Shadow: thanks for being honest and I'm glad u like, Cassie, Sarah: here's more for you, Sailor Aurora Helios whoah! Long name… thanks for reading, Unicorn 144 thanks for ur reviews, and Jordan: thanks for reviewing…

Also big thanks to my beloved Muse… thanks for all your support and inspiration.

All of you keep me from getting too lazy :P

C ya round

Sugar

Lost and Found: Part 6

"Heero?" I heard her ask again as I looked at her, and into those twin pools of guileless cornflower blue.

'Heero, What are you doing?' I asked myself, as shudder coursed through my body. What would she think? A man who'd murdered his own grandfather, I silently shook my head, making up my mind.  

I watched her face as it changed from one of curiosity to one of worry

"Heero what's wrong?"

"oh nothing" I lied, my stony mask slipping back into place

"are you sure? You look a little grey" I eyed her, I wasn't fine… but I couldn't tell her what had happened. In all honesty, as I looked at her, I didn't really know what I felt for her, and until I knew for sure, I wasn't going to let her that deep into my confidences.

"I'm fine" I stated again "it's just different from what I thought"

she gave a light laugh, obviously taking my words for face value. "well, we're all disappointed some times Heero, but I wouldn't worry it'll get better"

'yeah right' I thought to myself how could it getter better? I'd gotten into an argument with my parents on my first day, and found out that I'd killed my grandfather…. What else could go wrong?

I only half listened as Relena chattered on… staring at her face onscreen, nodding whenever she paused, as my thoughts wandered. I needed to call the guys… Quatre might know what I should do…

"Heero? Are you listening?" I jerked back to the present, to the sound of her slightly too high voice saying my name.

"yeah… sorry…" I stated

"it's all right… I just wanted to let you know I'm arriving on Wednesday, I have a conference in the area, after which I'm taking a week off  so we can talk about what's bothering you then…."

"hn, bye"

"bye Heero, I can't wait to see you!!!" she exclaimed then the phone went blank leaving me with a sudden urge to try phoning him again…

"maybe he'll be home…" I whispered even as my feet carried me out of the graveyard. My anger had melted, and I strolled down the path; gently clutching a small purple flower, in my fingertips, the same colour as Duo's vivid eyes.

I entered the house, through the back door, and headed towards where I heard my blood relatives talking,

"who was that kid?" I hear what I presume to be my brother ask

"he's your twin brother Heero… although you don't' look much alike anymore…"

"Heero? I thought Odin was my twin?"

"he calls himself Heero now" I heard my mother reply as I stepped out of the hallway and into the dining room

"hello" I stated in a monotone, eyes scanning the set table before me, and immediately landing on the empty place setting.

 'that's for me' I thought as I walked towards it sitting down.

The table fell silent as my brother studied me, his eyes gazing at every inch of me. I remained silent, until he caught my gaze, and I let my deep Prussian eyes bore into his, searching, determining exactly what he was made of, and quickly determined he was no threat.

"hey, you're the guy from the door earlier aren't you?" he stated, I almost snorted, yea… I was the guy he'd been checking out. I nearly smiled, if Duo was there he would have been laughing his ass off… my own brother checked me out… as it was I was hard pressed to maintain my stony expression as visions of the laughing baka danced through my brain.

"Heero?" my mother questioned, "would you like something to eat?"

I stared at her for a moment clueless, as I processed her question around the dancing baka, and then nodded. Silently she took the lid off a pot allowing the delicious aroma of beef Udon to waft upwards. Beef Udon… one of Duo's fav's…

"arigatou" I stated softly as she filled my bowl with the delicious smelling noodles, in their hot broth.

We ate in uneasy silence, tension building in the room as I mulled over the earlier fight.

Would they forgive me?

Would they understand that I just needed to lash out?

I wondered if everything would be all right.

Finished I stood taking my bowl to the sink, preparing to head back down the hallway to my room,

"Heero…" my mothers' soft voice drifted to me

I turned to look at her,

"do you think we could have a talk in about a half hour?"

I stared at her for a moment, registering her hopeful expression.

I was still annoyed about earlier, but I needed answers, and I think she did too.

I nodded curtly, before walking down the hall, pausing for only a moment as my father called, "and Heero… you'll be going to St. George's School on Monday!"

Hn… another school, how wonderful, but this time I'd actually be staying there… and with out Duo….

I slapped my forehead! DUO! I pulled out my vid-phone and dialled the apartment number.

"hullo?" he answered his beautiful heart shaped face popping up onscreen… 

"hn…"

"hey Heero… how's it going"

"…..not good" I stated watching as his smile melted into a small frown

"oh… that's bad… what happened?"

"………." I didn't respond, no way I was telling him over the phone.

"ok… don't want to talk about it…"

"hn…how are you?"

"oh… I'm holding up… I taped Kodocha for you"

I smiled… good I wouldn't' miss it! "arigatou" I stated watching as he smiled radiantly

"no problem… so you arrived and all…and you're ok?"

"yeah… I'm fine… going to some school… tomorrow"

"oh…"

A knock sounded at my door… "I have to go…"

"ok… call me later ok?"

I didn't' answer just turned off the phone, slipping it under my pillow before opening the door to reveal my mother holding a tray.

I stared at her in muted surprise, "…. Snacks, and a photo album" she remarked by way of explanation as she set it down on the bed, plopping down beside it then motioning me to sit. I did so, settling on the opposite side of the bed from her. 

"Heero… I wanted to let you know that you're father and I forgive you for earlier, and I'm going to tell you of what we know of the time surrounding you're disappearance, alright?"she questioned handing me a cookie and a glass off the tray.

I nodded, finally … I was going to get some clear cut answers.

"good…" I commented settling back to listen.

"ok… first off you are a descendant of the former emperor of former earth country of Japan through me, and you're father he is an American." I nodded

"of course this means little since Japan's monarchy was dissolved ages ago…"

"yes mother… I know my earth history" I interrupted

she nodded once then continued, "well… the Lowe family was first apart of the American senate, and after the US was dissolved, they have been a part of the Earth's sphere politics for generations. Through all the regimesl, the Lowe family has managed to maintain its position in society through careful marriage alliances, and planning. In this century your great-great-grandfather secured the families position in the senate, allowing them to live comfortably…. " she paused for a moment to have a sip of her tea.

"you're father and I met at school, and soon fell in love. The marriage was a suitable match, bestowing power on both families while ensuring the continuation of the bloodlines. About two years after I married your father, your grandfather became an influential member of the senate, and then of course, your sister, Mary-Jane Lowe, was born." I watched silently as my mother drifted deeper into the depths of memory, "those were happy times, you're sister was so full of life, and everything seemed promising. The earth sphere alliance was in control but everything was still peaceful…" I nodded, this was consistent with what Dr. J had told me…

"Three years later, you and your twin brother Jeremy where born, at the start of the alliance military take over. I remember when we first heard of the attacks on what used to be Mexico….it was far away on the other side of the world… and I was naïve enough to think that I wouldn't ever have to worry about it affecting us. Two years later, my brother drifted back into my life, he told me that he was fighting for freedom, and I believed him. I remember how he sat on the floor and played with you for hours. Stating that he would love to have you go and stay with him and you're aunt for a while. When you turned three the trip was arranged, your're father and Grandfather thought it would be good if at least one of the Lowe children was sent away. Everything was so unsettled, the military powers recruiting every able bodied young man…  That was when war broke out, and it no longer became safe to travel." Here my mother paused wipping the tears from her eyes before she continued, "We were on a vacation in the Alps, and you're sister had gone outside to build a snow man, and then it all happened so quickly. One moment she was playing happily in the snow with you're brother, the next she was lying still, eyes sightless, as warm red blood poured from the wound in her chest onto the snow. I was so wrapped up in grief after that. We couldn't reach Odin, and I had no idea where you'd gone… I'd spend nights awake, rocking Jeremy to sleep in my arms, wishing you were there. I wanted to keep looking, but you're father said,

"it may be better that we didn't know where he is."  He told me we'd have a better chance once the conflict had blown over…. If I'd known it'd take 14 years, I never would have agreed"

I looked at my mother, not knowing what to say, she'd sent me away, and then lost me, at the same time she'd buried my sister… and I sat staring at her, a new unfamiliar feeling gnawing at my heart, as she whispered over and over,

"forgive me, I'm so sorry… I should have looked harder…"

not knowing what else to do or say, I followed the best piece of advice I'd ever been given, and acted on my emotions, awkwardly placing my arms about her, whispering,

"I forgive you" as she pulled me closer murmuring

"my baby… I love you"

I froze…. For a moment, a small smile quirking my lips upwards…

She said she loved me! I cheered… but my triumph was short lived… as I remembered one little fact,

She had no idea who I really was, or exactly what I'd done. All my mother thought was that I'd grown up in an orphanage, not that I'd killed at least a hundred people before my tenth birthday, or that I was the one who'd piloted wing zero. My mother also had no idea that I'd been the one to shoot down the Alliance shuttle with the entire peace council including my grandfather on board.

I really was in "shit now" as duo would say. I sort of wanted to come clean with this compassionate strong woman, but I wasn't going to. Not until I knew exactly what they felt about the Gundam Pilots. 

Hmm… whatcha think?

I think Duo reappears next time… we'll have to wait and see…

If u want to be notified of updates e-mail me at sugargurl01x02@hotmail.com  I'll also  be updating at my web site www.freewebz.com/sugargurl01/enter.html --- plez note its under heavy construction.

Ttyl

Sugar