Chapter Sixteen
After playing that little trick on Steve, I realized it was late and that I needed to go to bed. It was hard to get used, though, to the idea that Soda was going to the same direction as me, since now I lived in his place.
The sun was almost gone and we both walked in silence. I thought that he might say something about what we had done, that it was funny or anything like that, but he didn't. I felt my hands covered with my cold sweat. Being next to him again was scary.
After a few blocks I decided to take a chance:
"You didn't forgive me at all, did ya?"
He stopped but didn't look at me; instead he kept looking at his shoes:
"Oh, come on, Susan!"
"What do you mean, 'come on, Susan'? You know it wasn't my fault! I've been trying to reach you by phone or by mail since I moved to Houston! And now I'm here and you barely talk to me. You can't ignore me for ever, ya know."
"I'm not ignoring you."
"Oh yes you are" I sighed "you're acting cold. And I said I was sorry like a thousand times. I was 13, ya know, I couldn't just do as I pleased, I had a father to obey. To make things worse, my father couldn't take care of me for much longer, I had to take care of him, otherwise he would die. And he eventually died anyway. I am so sorry I couldn't be here when you needed me, like you where there for me when I needed you. But Soda, think about it... everybody understood, everybody but you!"
He just stood there, looking at me. And finally, he spoke slowly:
"When I came home from the farm and Two Bit told me you were gone, I got kinda stunned... he gave me your message and everything... I was so mad at you, but some days later I thought that it didn't matter since you weren't coming back anyway..." he took a deep breath "don't you have a clue about how hard for me it would be to write you or talk to you on the phone without being able to invite you to a movie or to go horseback riding?"
I kept quiet.
"And then, when they died" for some reason he couldn't say 'mom and dad' "it's been years since the last time we had spoken, but when you called me... I... I..."
"Ok, Soda, it's fine. I got the picture. Just leave it, ok?"
"I don't know what to say anyway..." he hesitated "I'm just glad you're here, Susie."
Seeing him smiling warmed my heart, and made me feel so much better...
"Let's just go home, ok?" he said, taking me by the hand.
After playing that little trick on Steve, I realized it was late and that I needed to go to bed. It was hard to get used, though, to the idea that Soda was going to the same direction as me, since now I lived in his place.
The sun was almost gone and we both walked in silence. I thought that he might say something about what we had done, that it was funny or anything like that, but he didn't. I felt my hands covered with my cold sweat. Being next to him again was scary.
After a few blocks I decided to take a chance:
"You didn't forgive me at all, did ya?"
He stopped but didn't look at me; instead he kept looking at his shoes:
"Oh, come on, Susan!"
"What do you mean, 'come on, Susan'? You know it wasn't my fault! I've been trying to reach you by phone or by mail since I moved to Houston! And now I'm here and you barely talk to me. You can't ignore me for ever, ya know."
"I'm not ignoring you."
"Oh yes you are" I sighed "you're acting cold. And I said I was sorry like a thousand times. I was 13, ya know, I couldn't just do as I pleased, I had a father to obey. To make things worse, my father couldn't take care of me for much longer, I had to take care of him, otherwise he would die. And he eventually died anyway. I am so sorry I couldn't be here when you needed me, like you where there for me when I needed you. But Soda, think about it... everybody understood, everybody but you!"
He just stood there, looking at me. And finally, he spoke slowly:
"When I came home from the farm and Two Bit told me you were gone, I got kinda stunned... he gave me your message and everything... I was so mad at you, but some days later I thought that it didn't matter since you weren't coming back anyway..." he took a deep breath "don't you have a clue about how hard for me it would be to write you or talk to you on the phone without being able to invite you to a movie or to go horseback riding?"
I kept quiet.
"And then, when they died" for some reason he couldn't say 'mom and dad' "it's been years since the last time we had spoken, but when you called me... I... I..."
"Ok, Soda, it's fine. I got the picture. Just leave it, ok?"
"I don't know what to say anyway..." he hesitated "I'm just glad you're here, Susie."
Seeing him smiling warmed my heart, and made me feel so much better...
"Let's just go home, ok?" he said, taking me by the hand.
