Darth Revan's Flying Circus
"Part 3"
(The place, the Ebon Hawk. Canderous, Mission, and T3 are working furiously on HK)
Canderous: Wrench!
Mission: Don't got a wrench.
Canderous: Screwdriver then!
Mission: Don't got a screwdriver either.
Canderous: A hammer?
Mission: Nope.
Canderous: How about a drill?
Mission: Hmm, may-no, no drill.
Canderous: Oh fer god's sake...then just what the hell do we have?!
Mission: Couple o' scalpels, a spork, tooth pick, some type of odd glowing rock...
Canderous: THAT'S URANIUM YOU IDIOT!!
Mission: Oh, no wonder my hands are burning. How 'bout a chipmunk?
Canderous: Better than all the other crap, give it 'ere.
(Mission hands him the chipmunk. Canderous goes to work on HK. Fade to black)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Carth: Ok Zalbaar, flip the switch.
(Zalbaar does, lights flicker on and off)
Carth: OK! That's four copies. Now we can make the weapons.
Zalbaar: This seems slightly blasphemous, using the sword of Bacca like this.
Carth: Nonsense, Zalbaar. As long as they're only copies, there's nothing wrong with it.
(The two get to work, using duct tape and super glue on the sword of Bacca replicas)
Zalbaar: Actually, these blades look pretty good, if not a little shabby.
Carth: Pity this was the easy part. Now, we just need to work on you using them.
Zalbaar: I still think using a two-blader in each hand is a stupid idea.
Carth: Are you kidding?! Think of the damage they'd do. Now, let's start training..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Canderous sets the chipmunk down, which looks pretty stoned.)
Canderous: That'll do pig, that'll do.
Mission: Pig? What're you talking about?
Canderous: Nothing. Private joke. Ok, let's reboot 'em.
HK: Zzzzkk...Kzzzk...."Systems online. Systems check: Normal."
Mission: Well? Is it working?
HK: Affirmative, my assassination mode is now functional once again.
Revan: God. Now, your new target is.....GRIFF!
Mission: THE HELL!!?! Where did you come from?
Revan: The shadows, but that's not important now.
HK: Affirmative, master. This pleases me greatly. Many times have I longed to kill that irritating meatbag. If I may be so bold, master, may I make a suggestion on how to cause his demise in a most painful manner?
Revan: I like the sound of that, continue.
HK: Like my former Hutt master, I could dissemble his corpse into many miniature pieces, and put them in a stew.
Canderous: I like the sound of that.
Mission: Kill him!?? Stew!? I never agreed to this!! You said he'd be used against Bastila after she tried to sell me into slavery last time!
Revan: AND IF YOU WANT TO STAY OUT OF SLAVERY, YOU'LL SHUT
UP NOW!!
Mission: Eeee....yes, ma'am..
(Suddenly, a tentacle of Mission's goes flying through the air, spraying blood in its path)
Mission: AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
Carth: Oopsie...
Zalbaar: Sorry Mission, we were just practicing this new technique..
(Mission runs back passed the group, blood dripping from where her tentacle should be,.of course, crying.)
Canderous: Um...Revan...you've got something in your hair...
(Revan pulls the bloody tentacle from her hair, tossing it to the ground.)
Revan: Uck...
(Jolee exits the bathroom, and slips on the tentacle.)
Jolee: Blasted soybean–EAAAAIIII!!
(Bastila comes running into the room, where the tentacle lands on her face, covering her eyes.)
Bastila: What's going on in he-AIEEEEEEE!! I'm blind!! Something has me!!
(She draws and ignites her lightsaber, swinging it around wildly)
Canderous: DUCK!!!!
(He dives onto Revan, getting them both out of harms way just as Bastila swings towards them. Zalbaar and Carth come running.)
Carth: Alright, here's your chance Zalbaar, disarm Bastila and TAKE HER DOWN!
Zalbaar: Let's do this!
(Zalbaar begins swinging the two double-bladed swords of Bacca wildly. Unfortunately, he isn't hitting anything except air)
Carth: Crap in a hat!
(And Carth ducks for cover)
Revan: Great, now what'll we do?
(Suddenly, two blasts are fired. So quickly is the second one fired that it sounds like only one shot was fired. As the smoke clears, Bastila is on her knees, holding her hand, which has a smoking hole in it. Same for Zalbaar, only both his hands have holes in them. HK stands there, a smoking blaster rifle in his hands.)
HK: Meatbags are such cowards.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Later.)
Revan: Ok, Canderous, get a stapler and some duct tape for Mission's tentacle. HK, Carth, Juhani, get some Band- aids for Bastila and Zalbaar. And for godsake, HK, put that damn rifle down.
(Meanwhile.)
Jolee: Uh..guys?...Guys? I need some help here.. I've fallen, and I can't get up...
To Be Continued..
"Part 3"
(The place, the Ebon Hawk. Canderous, Mission, and T3 are working furiously on HK)
Canderous: Wrench!
Mission: Don't got a wrench.
Canderous: Screwdriver then!
Mission: Don't got a screwdriver either.
Canderous: A hammer?
Mission: Nope.
Canderous: How about a drill?
Mission: Hmm, may-no, no drill.
Canderous: Oh fer god's sake...then just what the hell do we have?!
Mission: Couple o' scalpels, a spork, tooth pick, some type of odd glowing rock...
Canderous: THAT'S URANIUM YOU IDIOT!!
Mission: Oh, no wonder my hands are burning. How 'bout a chipmunk?
Canderous: Better than all the other crap, give it 'ere.
(Mission hands him the chipmunk. Canderous goes to work on HK. Fade to black)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Carth: Ok Zalbaar, flip the switch.
(Zalbaar does, lights flicker on and off)
Carth: OK! That's four copies. Now we can make the weapons.
Zalbaar: This seems slightly blasphemous, using the sword of Bacca like this.
Carth: Nonsense, Zalbaar. As long as they're only copies, there's nothing wrong with it.
(The two get to work, using duct tape and super glue on the sword of Bacca replicas)
Zalbaar: Actually, these blades look pretty good, if not a little shabby.
Carth: Pity this was the easy part. Now, we just need to work on you using them.
Zalbaar: I still think using a two-blader in each hand is a stupid idea.
Carth: Are you kidding?! Think of the damage they'd do. Now, let's start training..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Canderous sets the chipmunk down, which looks pretty stoned.)
Canderous: That'll do pig, that'll do.
Mission: Pig? What're you talking about?
Canderous: Nothing. Private joke. Ok, let's reboot 'em.
HK: Zzzzkk...Kzzzk...."Systems online. Systems check: Normal."
Mission: Well? Is it working?
HK: Affirmative, my assassination mode is now functional once again.
Revan: God. Now, your new target is.....GRIFF!
Mission: THE HELL!!?! Where did you come from?
Revan: The shadows, but that's not important now.
HK: Affirmative, master. This pleases me greatly. Many times have I longed to kill that irritating meatbag. If I may be so bold, master, may I make a suggestion on how to cause his demise in a most painful manner?
Revan: I like the sound of that, continue.
HK: Like my former Hutt master, I could dissemble his corpse into many miniature pieces, and put them in a stew.
Canderous: I like the sound of that.
Mission: Kill him!?? Stew!? I never agreed to this!! You said he'd be used against Bastila after she tried to sell me into slavery last time!
Revan: AND IF YOU WANT TO STAY OUT OF SLAVERY, YOU'LL SHUT
UP NOW!!
Mission: Eeee....yes, ma'am..
(Suddenly, a tentacle of Mission's goes flying through the air, spraying blood in its path)
Mission: AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
Carth: Oopsie...
Zalbaar: Sorry Mission, we were just practicing this new technique..
(Mission runs back passed the group, blood dripping from where her tentacle should be,.of course, crying.)
Canderous: Um...Revan...you've got something in your hair...
(Revan pulls the bloody tentacle from her hair, tossing it to the ground.)
Revan: Uck...
(Jolee exits the bathroom, and slips on the tentacle.)
Jolee: Blasted soybean–EAAAAIIII!!
(Bastila comes running into the room, where the tentacle lands on her face, covering her eyes.)
Bastila: What's going on in he-AIEEEEEEE!! I'm blind!! Something has me!!
(She draws and ignites her lightsaber, swinging it around wildly)
Canderous: DUCK!!!!
(He dives onto Revan, getting them both out of harms way just as Bastila swings towards them. Zalbaar and Carth come running.)
Carth: Alright, here's your chance Zalbaar, disarm Bastila and TAKE HER DOWN!
Zalbaar: Let's do this!
(Zalbaar begins swinging the two double-bladed swords of Bacca wildly. Unfortunately, he isn't hitting anything except air)
Carth: Crap in a hat!
(And Carth ducks for cover)
Revan: Great, now what'll we do?
(Suddenly, two blasts are fired. So quickly is the second one fired that it sounds like only one shot was fired. As the smoke clears, Bastila is on her knees, holding her hand, which has a smoking hole in it. Same for Zalbaar, only both his hands have holes in them. HK stands there, a smoking blaster rifle in his hands.)
HK: Meatbags are such cowards.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Later.)
Revan: Ok, Canderous, get a stapler and some duct tape for Mission's tentacle. HK, Carth, Juhani, get some Band- aids for Bastila and Zalbaar. And for godsake, HK, put that damn rifle down.
(Meanwhile.)
Jolee: Uh..guys?...Guys? I need some help here.. I've fallen, and I can't get up...
To Be Continued..
