Let me know if you can pick the song I've used in this chapter, cause it may pop up again in the future.
Ok before we start I'm just replying to a few reviewers :)
Maineiac: the end will have similar events to the show, I'm trying to twist round to my way of thinking though.
To everyone else who sent me a review a huge thank you! It is true when we say it's a huge help and encouragement.
AN: Alex, who jumped in as my Beta last night, thanks again. This would have taken a lot longer to get out if you hadn't offered.
Chapter 6
There's a feeling I get when I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees,
And the voices of those who stand looking.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.
All around him was the stench of evil. It was thick and permeating, sticking to everything like molasses. The wood of the walls the floorboards, the foundations, even outside the building the trees were draped in it.
In evil.
And Caleb loved it he relished it. It was so pure, almost orgasmic, well what he imagined orgasmic to feel like.
There was but one thing, one place deep in the bowels of his nest his refuge, one contamination to his home, and it stunk of her, her goodness and her light. It was made for her but he wanted it. To kill her with it.
He paced in front of the first weapon she would need, hands behind his back, head held high.
Not for you
But her alone.
Those words still angered him like nothing else. He had been promised it. The First had promised him that it would be his and he would be able to cut down the dirty girls with it. Oh some had perished already and those acts had slated his lust for their deaths somewhat but she was still out there. Her, the strongest, the oldest, the only one that he feared. Only she had the power-the ability-but she didn't know it, didn't know how to win this, it was possible, just not probable not without both of them, that knowledge relieved him to no end, but…
He would kill her.
Of that her was sure.
He fingered the second weapon, the one that was hanging round his neck, the one she would never get her hands on. She would never know she needed it; she would never have it, so therefore she could never win.
"Oh Caleb?"
He turned and saw her. His greatest love and yet his greatest hate
"Our friend has been a naughty girl. She's asked some friends to the party. And I don't like that. I'm the only one allowed to give out the invitations"
The image of her stood in front of him arms crossed over, pretty pout on her lips.
"Doesn't matter" Caleb drawled "We'll kill them"
The First suddenly morphed into a man in his mid to late 30's with short brown hair and intelligent blue eyes. He stared intently at Caleb, and brought a hand up to rest on his cheek, an action that was familiar to the image but not the being "These friends have been aggravating me for years. They've killed some of my greatest Generals, and turned one I'd worked hard to cultivate as my agent, to their side. I don't like them"
"Like I said before" he said, his innocent farm boy features curling into a cruel snarl "We'll kill them"
Had he been wrong? Not that he would ever admit it to anyone but Rupert Giles had been going over the events of the last few weeks and wondered when it had all spun out of control. When had he let himself become so detached from the one person he had once loved the most that he would willingly commit actions that would drive her away?
It had hurt, that she would choose a Vampire over everyone else, over him, especially after… No he wouldn't go there, they'd made their choices and would now have to deal with the fallout.
Giles thought that afterwards she would see that The Vampire was not as necessary as she believed him to be; that his actions would somehow convince her that The Vampire could not help them win this battle
After all it was the battle to end all battles. Good versus evil, how could a Vampire possibly help them win it? She had to see this, understand this.
Then, well then she had the chip removed, without his knowledge, without his consent. That had smarted the most: she didn't get permission, not that she needed it anymore. She was a grown woman quite capable of making her own decisions.
What had happened to the girl who had told him not to leave. The scared school girl who had held him outside a flaming warehouse while they grieved a lost loved one? The young woman almost in tears, as he told her he was leaving for her own good?
She had said she needed him, told him time and time again but he believed it wasn't true, he had to, else he wouldn't have been able to force himself to leave.
What had happened?
She had grown up.
She'd grown up when his back was turned, when he had run away.
Why had he done it anyway? It was really very simple. She didn't need him anymore, and he hated it. He needed to be needed. Especially by her.
It was his calling after all.
Buffy walked inside the house her features schooled so as not to give away any emotion. She saw him standing there looking out the window, hands in his pockets. This was a painfully familiar pose but on a man who had become almost a stranger to her.
Where had the man she knew so well gone?
Clearing her throat to get his attention she took a deep breath and she looked her former watcher in the eye's hoping to see something there, but what she was looking for… she had no idea. Was it approval, or shame – or did he even did a damn about her anymore?
She found nothing but a blank look staring back at her.
"Buffy" He finally nodded his head formally at her "Are you going to tell me what's going on. Miss Carter wouldn't tell me anything."
"Take the girls and get out of town. Go to LA, Angel can help protect them."
"Ah" Giles took his glasses of and cleaned them with a handkerchief out of his pocket. It was another familiar act on this stranger "And may I ask what you will be doing?"
"We're going to take down Caleb and The First" Buffy said forcibly "but I want everyone else out of town before that"
Narrowing his eye's at her Giles looked like he could have spit nails "Your wants in regard to the people in that house do not matter anymore Buffy. You no longer have a say as to what happens there"
"I own that house and I can evict every single one of you should if I wanted to. Or hey. Here's an idea, how about we go piss off Caleb and The First, steal back whatever it is of mine that he has and then sit back and watch as him and The Bringers slaughter everyone in that house, including you" The venom in her voice forced Giles to back up slightly.
Deciding to fight fire with fire "Including Dawn"
"Dawn has made her own choice in the life she wants to lead. I never got a choice like that Giles. My choices were fight or die." Buffy paused in an attempt to get her thoughts and her mouth working in conjunction with each other. "I've been fighting for over 7 years now, Giles. Dawn doesn't have to do that." Buffy took a deep breath trying to calm herself down.
"The constant fight for your life? She doesn't deserve that. That's no life at all, but its what she wants. I… I just can't watch her do that to herself. It was hard enough with Willow and Xander."
"So that's it you can no longer be bothered to care for you're sister?"
Buffy looked at him incredulously, "How dare you…" she started "I died for her!" She couldn't contain the scream that ripped out of her throat.
Giles knew then that he had gone to far. He knew never to question Buffy's love for Dawn. That it would only alienate and anger her further. Running a hand through his greying hair he changed tactics.
"And who, may I ask, is going to look after her?"
"Can't handle the responsibility?" Now Buffy was now just plain pissed off
"Just wanting to know if its one more thing you're going to dump on me"
"No" Buffy took a deep breath to try and calm herself down "If she wants to come with me she can, but if she doesn't… well I really don't know its up to Dawn. If she wants to live with dad, she can go there… I'll be leaving and not coming back once this is over" Buffy slumped into a chair, emotionally drained, not wanting to fight any longer.
"Running away again?" He raised an eyebrow at her "Typical"
Looking up at him, she let the mask drop and the weariness seep through into her features "I'm tired Giles. I can't fight both you guys and the bad guys any more. It's just too hard; you want me to save the world again? Then I can't do it with you and The Gang, not like we used to. I need to find out if Buffy can be the Vampire Slayer without the rest of the team to back her up. You wanted me to do it on my own. Fine then, I will" She lifted her chin in daring him to contradict her, and then dropped it again as a thought occurred to her "Nothing I do is good enough any more is it?"
He remained silent, not knowing how to answer her question. She closed her eye's in defeat, he didn't understand, not any more
"I've sworn to protect this world and everyone in it, but that means, saying and sometimes doing things that no one else can, that no one else should have to. You said that to me, you taught me that. I've done nothing but look at the big picture." She threw his words from two years previous back at him
"Somehow I think we're looking at different pictures now" Cocking her head to the side she looked at him once again searching for something she still couldn't find
"Take everyone in that house and get out of town"
She stood and started to leave the room, her head held high when a soft voice stopped her in her tracks "You've gotten too good at it. You had everything under control, and I felt useless"
He watched her carefully as her shoulders shuddered while she exhaled and allowed his words to sink in, without turning she replied "Then you're a bigger moron than I thought. Goodbye Watcher-Mine"
Giles watched as she left the room. She didn't look back at him. He stood there and watched the empty doorway, as though by sheer will he could make her reappear in front of him. Make her understand.
She didn't and he couldn't.
So he stood there and watched.
After all, that was what he was best at.
And it's whispered that soon if we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter.
