Title: Alive Again

Summary: Sara and Warrick become closer after he saves her life.

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in several days. I am in the middle of packing and moving. I should finish this up next chapter which I'll have out very soon I hope. Hehe. Thanks for all of the reviews!

Spoilers: Possibly anything all the way up to Early Rollout.

Rating: PG13 for language and some adult situations.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it. If I did I wouldn't be living in this shoddy little apartment dreaming about winning the lottery. :)

Chapter Eighteen:

"Okay you just cheated. 'Shnizzle' is not a word," Sara said with ire.

Warrick laughed. "Has anyone ever told you that you are cute when you are angry?"

Sara smirked. "I am not angry. I am simply affronted because you keep CHEATING!"

"So you were serious when you said that you wouldn't accept momizzle, pooty and jomama as words?" he asked seriously.

"Warrick!" Sara shouted as she threw a convenient Scrabble piece at him.

He easily caught the piece. "Check it out, its a 'Q'. I don't suppose you will accept Quizzle as a word? I can get massive points from that," he quipped grinning.

Sara groaned before laughing. "No wonder you were trying to talk me into playing 'Strip Scrabble' with you. Mr. Brown you are incorrigible."

"Yeah but you love me anyways," he said with a wink.

"Oh please I am not about to add to your already inflated ego. Here help me up. I hate this damn cast," she reached a hand out to him. Warrick pulled her up and drew her in close to him. Her lips were only inches from his and she could the desire reflecting in his eyes.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered sensually as he lowered his hands to her backside.

"Warrick I don't know..."

He quieted her protests with a soft kiss. "Let me show you how much I love you."

Sara nodded slowly. Warrick effortlessly lifted her into his arms and carried her into his bedroom. After laying her gently on his bed he began to nuzzle her neck with tender kisses. Between each kiss he whispered that he loved her. He took his time exploring her body with his hands and mouth with the sole intention of bringing her pleasure.

Sara tried to focus on her lover's passionate ministrations but instead found herself attempting to quell the panic arising within. She took deep calming breaths as he started to unbutton her shirt. She knew he would see the damage done to her body for the first time since the attack. No matter how many times she told herself that Warrick wouldn't care about the scars, Sara couldn't convince herself of it. By the time he reached the third button she felt her passion desolving and her agitation swiftly rising. She tried to ask him to slow down but the words were caught in a gasp that barely escaped her lips as he ran his hands gingerly over her breasts.

When one of Warrick's hands strayed to the waistband of her shorts she knew she wouldn't be able to do this. It was too soon. Warrick was kissing a path down her stomach when she pressed her hands against his shoulders to push him away. His head popped up and his face was a mask of confusion.

"Warrick please stop. Please," she said urgently.

He narrowed his eyes. "Sara? Sweetheart whats wrong?"

She pushed frantically against his shoulders and he conceded by shifting his weight off of her body and to the side of the bed. When he reached a gentle hand out to touch her shoulder she flinched and turned to face away from him. Warrick sighed and walked to the bathroom shutting the door in the process. When she heard the door shut Sara finally allowed her tears to flow freely.

Warrick leaned against the bathroom sink and gazed contemptuously at himself in the mirror. He turned the faucet on and washed cool water over his face. He didn't feel angry with Sara at all, but his frustration was clearly evident and he hadn't wanted her to see it. Warrick took several deep calming breaths before deciding to rejoin her. Finally after several minutes he opened the door and saw that she was still faced away from him. Her shoulders were shaking slightly and he knew that she was crying.

"Sara?" When she didn't answer he climbed into the bed behind her. "Sara please lets talk."

"Why do you even bother with me Warrick? I can't be worth this much effort," she said shakily still not looking at him.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"You know what is funny?" she said sarcastically. "I am not this weak woman. I am a fighter. I am a survivor. This is not me."

Warrick laid down behind her and wrapped his arm around her stomach. "Sara you are not weak. Nobody thinks that."

"I'm sorry. I just kept seeing...I'm sorry."

"Shhhh, don't apologize. Do you want to talk about it?" he asked softly.

"Warrick he...he used his...knife. On me," she whispered, her voice filled with anguish. "He cut me. The scars are...hideous."

Warrick pulled her around to face him. When she wouldn't look him in the eyes he lifted her chin up gently. "Sara I told you I love you. Do you really think I am so shallow?"

She shook her head. "No. I don't. But its hard Warrick."

He kissed her gently. "Then we will take our time and when you are ready we will try again."

"Do you want to know what happened?" she asked diffidently.

He tensed slightly unprepared for the truth she would tell him. "Only if you want to tell me," he said with hesitation.

"You have been so patient, I feel like you deserve to know."

"Its not about owing me Sara. I told you before that I am not going anywhere. I would like to share this...burden with you though. If you give me that chance."

She swallowed and began to recite what happened to her on that fateful day. How she had intended to get some groceries and then go home and call him. She couldn't remember exactly what happened when Mortesen had attacked her but she did remember waking up in that dingy little room for the first time. Sara's voice grew increasingly tense when she described her rape. She closed her eyes so that she wouldn't be able to see Warrick's reaction to what she was saying. Sara was scared that she would see pity, or worse, disgust mirrored in his eyes.

When she described how Mortesen had used his knife to carve wounds on her body she thought she would break down. Even now the remembered pain was nearly as intense as the day it had actually occurred. She didn't realize she had stopped talking until she heard Warrick saying her name.

"Sara look at me."

She opened her eyes only to find compassion reflected in his.

"Sara you are the bravest person I have ever known," he said sincerely.

"I am not brave now. I wasn't brave then."

"You are the bravest person I have ever known," he repeated. "This isn't going to beat you."

"You seem so certain."

He smiled warmly and used his thumb to wipe a tear from her cheek. "Its because I know you Sara Sidle."

She reached over and grazed her fingers along his chest lightly. "Thinking of you was the only thing that got me through it. I would have went insane otherwise," she whispered. "Help me get past this Warrick. I need you."

He blinked. "You want to? Now?" He seemed shocked.

Sara nodded and sat up to pull her shirt off. When she unbuckled her bra and let it slide from her shoulders, her eyes met his awaiting a reaction. She only saw desire and...love there. This time when his hands reached for her she felt no hesitation arising within. He took his time kissing each scar that had been inflicted upon her body whispering between each kiss how beautiful she was.

Warrick sought only to give her pleasure in their lovemaking. He removed the rest of her clothes and cherished her body with all of the reverence and adoration within his soul. He refused to find gratification for himself, instead seeking only to show her how very much he loved her. When he brought his mouth to her core she shuddered, but this time with pleasure, not fear. Afterwards he held her tightly in his arms.

They had both nearly fallen asleep when Sara finally spoke. "I worried that I would never be able to find pleasure in...this again. But with you it just seems so perfect."

Warrick responded by kissing her lightly. Sara lay awake for a long time after he fell asleep. Warrick had been wonderful. Perfect. He had told her so many times he loved that she had no doubts about his feelings. She found herself amazed that Warrick was a man who felt so comfortable expressing himself emotionally. If anything she was the emotionally challenged one in this relationship.

Sara smiled to herself. She loved this man, of that there was no doubt. She just needed a way to tell him, to let him know that it was because of him that she felt saved, and ultimately alive again.

*****

That night as they both prepared to get ready for work Sara couldn't stop smiling.

Warrick found her mood contagious. "Ok did I put that smile on your face or are you happy that you finally get to go back to work?"

She winked at him. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Actually there is something I do want to know," he said seriously.

"Oh what is that?"

"Who wrote that on your cast?"

She frowned slightly. "Wrote what?"

He grinned. "Sara and Warrick sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G..."

She groaned mortified. "Oh gawd. I totally forgot about that. Nick wrote that when I was in the hospital."

Warrick chuckled. "Yeah you kept telling him that nothing was going on didn't you?"

"Of course. He would have told Catherine who would then...wait a second why are you looking at me like that?"

"I told Catherine," he replied.

Sara gasped. "Oh gawd. Who else knows?"

Warrick laughed heartily. "Sara the whole lab knows."

Her eyes widened. "Warrick? Everyone? They are so going to be ragging on me now."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh last year there was this poll between the females who work at the lab about who is the hottest guy. And umm, you won," she said meekly.

"Oh is that so Ms. Sidle? What aren't you saying?" he quipped with a wink.

She grinned at him sheepishly. "I remember saying that while I thought you were good looking, you definitely were not my type."

He wrapped her in this arms and placed a kiss on her lips. "I guess you decided to reevaluate your position on that then huh?"

Sara's answer was interrupted by her cell phone ringing.

"Sidle."

"Hi Sara. Its Grissom."

"Oh hey Grissom. Don't even try to tell me I can't come to work tonight. I am going in with Warrick."

Grissom laughed on the other end of the line. "Ok that answers my question. See you soon."

She hung up the phone and smiled. "Ok lets get a move on," she said as she reached for her crutches. "And don't even think about carrying me!"

Warrick laughed when she threatened to beat him with a crutch. Finally things were starting to feel normal again, for both of them.

To be continued...