Chapter two of warm fuzzes! Does anybody like the title? I think I'm playing to a very select crowd here.  Don't worry, I've actually started chapter 11 of twilight! Go me!

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When confronting something beyond the means of human comprehension-one attempts to rationalize the situation.  It's a defense mechanism, if you cannot understand the image (usually if the image is too horrifying to understand) then the image is rationalized and placed into a context that is somewhat understood by the human mind.  It can happen quiet suddenly, almost instantaneously, and in any situation.

When William Birkin, Microbiologist, Biochemist, boy genius-saw the line for the Raccoon City Movie Theater snack bar-he dimly perceived a long-drawn out nightmare of parenthood-seen from afar.

Annette, saw a headache waiting to happen.

Sherry, being two, saw popcorn.

"POPCORN!"

            She dove for the nearest batch on the floor and William had to grip her around the shoulders and pull her up to eye-level.

"Sherry." He said, "Do you remember the talk we just had about human's not being animals-"

            Two adults-both in line wielding small humans-were now screaming at each other.

"I TOLD YOU-YOU CUT IN LINE AGAIN AND I'M GETTING THE MANAGER."

"Oh why don't you just –shut the-fuck-up-"

The punch came out of nowhere.  The second adult-his son screaming in terror-slammed into a wall of pre-stocked popcorn bags-spilling popcorn everywhere.

            "Popcorn!"

"Oh dear god…"

"I'm sorry dear." William put Sherry down; "Apparently there are animalistic moments in human nature."

            A tall man in a suit came bounding out of a red door beyond the patron's field of vision.  A girl (This one with somewhat longer hair done up at the back of her head) jogged around the other side bolting through the lines of panicked peoples. 

"Well." Annette said, her voice dry, "This explains why you like to stay in your lab William dear."

Two other theater employees-who were helping to haul up a gigantic stand-up for some new movie-dropped what they were doing.

            "JEN! NICK! " A blue shirted guy peered over the edge of a far off balcony, " GET THE FUCK BACK HERE-"

The stand-up went crashing down.

"NEXT!"

            William blinked.  He and Annette herded Sherry foreward amid the glares of the rest of the patrons for holding up the line.  He frowned, turning to face a bleary-eyed snack bar attendant.  The floor beneath her was a mass of broken kernels-spilt liquids, and broken red boxes apparently given to children.  Her Santa Hat hung askew on her head-her shirt had a dark stain that covered her lower abdomen down to her pants.  Her fingers were covered with (from what William could see) tiny paper-thin red cuts.

            "Hi sir." She said, her voice strained, "What can I make for you today?"

"POPCORN!" Sherry grinned, "Large?"

The girl looked up, "That okay?"

A scream bounced off the high vaulted ceilings as another blue-suited assistant manager joined the fray nearest to the snack bar table.

            "Some people." A teenager muttered, "Don't know when to quit."

            "Is this what regularly happens?" William asked, "I mean-is this-" he gestured helplessly at the fight and the long lines at the snack bar. 

"Sir, you would not believe it if I told you." She stepped quickly across the fields of broken kernels and filled a blue bag of popcorn to the brim, quickly handing it off to Annette-who grabbed it quickly.  She then dove behind the soda fountains and began filling drink orders.

"EXCUSE ME!" A large woman bustled foreward wielding a broken drink, "I NEED ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE!"

            "Did someone spill it ma'am?" The girl handed Annette a small sprite and William a Large Cherry Coke.

"Daddy-"

"Jesus." Annette stared back at the line that was progressively getting longer, "I don't think we need to come back and see a movie."

            "What?" William shifted Sherry to his other side; "You think we should have dragged Sherry into a Rated R movie?"

"All I am saying is-I wanted a nice quiet evening-to spend some time with you-"

"Daddy?" Sherry asked quietly, "Daddy?"

Both parents ignored her-nothing unusual about that.  The snack bar attendant had moved on to take more drink orders.  Sherry-had had enough.

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDY!"

The snack bar attendant froze.

The people behind them froze.

The ticket taker-in the middle of another biting retort froze.

The gentlemen engaged in the fight froze.

            Sherry affixed her father with a stare he'd used on employees who had behaved badly, or simply not met his expectations.

"I want a soda. Now."

            "What-what-what-kind?"  The snack bar attendant dropped the smaller sprite-the line remained frozen, although it was now proceeding in an orderly manner.  The manager was breaking up the fight quietly now, the two gentlemen shaking hands and apologizing.

"Um…coke?"

"Su-Sure."

She handed Sherry a small coke pointing slowly down to the end where a large African American boy waited to ring them up.

"En…enjoy your movie."

            The line continued behind them as the cashier looked over their items.

"Any candy today?"

"No."

            "Are you-"

"No."

            "But-"

"Look. " William said patiently, "If she said no candy, then she meant no candy."

            "Got it." The cashier peered at the items again before clicking a few keys on his register, "Its gonna be 23.50."

Annette and William's mouths dropped open as Sherry climbed down from her father's arms to the floor where she picked up the popcorn bag and headed over to a dispenser reading, " butter"

            "Twenty-three fifty."

"Yes."

            "There's got to be some mistake."

"A large drink, an extra-large popcorn, two medium drinks, one small.  That's 23 fifty."

"Dear…holy mother of god…" Annette grabbed a box, "This had better be the best damn tasting popcorn EVER!"

            "Do you take Debit cards?" William asked, biting his tongue.  He handed his Umbrella ID to the young man who walked across the snack bar and scanned it. 

"Please imput your pin number."  He shoved the keypad at William's face, "And I'll print you out a receipt."

He typed in his number quickly, his fingers used to dealing with keypads and such.  The man dropped the pad onto the counter and handed him a receipt before shoving him off away into the bowels of the theater.

            "She said first door on the left." William hoisted Sherry to his shoulder, "Which way?"

"That way."

Now, unbeknownst to the Birkins, movie theaters are notorious for two things:

1-making the smartest people stupid

2- being incredibly hard to navigate.

            The first kicked in as Annette-loosing her sense of Direction from the snack bar melee headed towards the right…

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The Birkin's are lost in the movie theater! What shall they do! I promise it'll get funnier.  I love torturing this family. ^_^