Here's chapter five!

A/N: Smoosh hugs and such to Shady triple seven for the use of Alan and his mom (Its Clarice…I was very surprised to learn) Keep in mind Shady dear I'm using my imagination when it comes to how she and Wesker interact, so please don't hurt me!

Disclaimer: Resident Evil Does not belong to me-it belongs to a bunch of people that work in a major corporation who are all probably very rich…wait…that sounds just like Umbrella! Oh GODS! CAPCOM IS UMBRELLA! *Runs off screaming *

Wesker: umm… *stares off in the author's direction * Does anybody feel that we should tell her that this is just a fictional story?

*Mutters of dissent from various characters *

Author: THEY'RE TAKING OVER THE WORLD!

Chris: that would be Starbucks-

Wesker: *gasps * YOU'VE DISCOVERED THE NAME OF MY SECRET EMPLOYER! *Launches self at Redfield * DIE!

Chris: EEP! *Flees *

Author: start the story-QUICK!

--------------

Raccoon City Movie Theater

"Alan…" Clarice patted her son fondly on the head, "Did you enjoy the movie?"

Alan moaned.

            "What? Didn't you like the fuzzy talking monkey? Or how about the Disney Princess -"

Alan shook his head.  Four and a half hours of Disney had reduced the once normal seven-year-old to a puddle of existence.  He leaned against his mother protectively, wondering as to her methods to keep going crazy.

Clarice (Not being a fool) had brought along her Walkman.  She had enjoyed the four hours with song after song by Pink Floyd, The Clash, and Blondie along with a little white snake thrown in for spice…

"Hey Mom-isn't that dad?"

            Clarice smoothed out her short brown hair trying to shake off the psychotropic wonderland that was "White Wedding" when mixed with Disney.  Indeed, Albert Wesker seemed to be arguing with Annette Birkin and William Birkin…

Hmm… She held Alan back so that he wouldn't interrupt their conversation; I thought those two never left the house…

            "Dad!" Alan squirmed out of his mother's grasp; "Mom went crazy and took me to a Disney movie! She's gone insane! Arrest her or something!"

Wesker blinked, "What the-"

Alan slammed into his father with the small force of a rocket.  Normally he loved his mom more that anything-but the very idea of dragging an innocent seven-year-old into that film was horrible.

            "Arrest her! Murder one in the first degree! Attempted brainwashing!"

"Calm down Alan." Wesker got down on a knee and looked his son in the eye, "What happened?"

            "Mom tried to kill meeeee!"

"I did not." She patted Alan's head lightly, "It was just a Disney movie and there was no way-NO way-that I would have endured Santa goes to Hollywood."

            "We could have gone to see Texas-"

"NO." the response from both Wesker parents was emphatic. 

William (Still smarting from Wesker's attempted clothesline wished that he could be away from all of this, either in the lab or watching the very same movie.

"Albert-where's Natalie?"

Wesker grimaced, but ignored it.  Clarice was the only person that he allowed to call him by his thrice-damned first name.

            "That's what we were trying to figure out." William said, "Apparently SHE LED SHERRY OFF!"

Clarice frowned, "What happened to your head?"

            "I had an unfortunate collision with a runaway truck." William grimaced, glancing over at Albert before continuing, "Look-Clarice we need to find-"

"Cousin Nat's here?" Alan asked.  He began to shiver, and ducked behind his father as the adults continued talking so that he couldn't see.

            Natalie was the grim ogre specter in Alan's life, the stereotypical "Evil Cousin" who would frequently make him the butt of nasty pranks and the perpetrator of all sorts of horrific crimes in the Wesker household.

Once, his mother had discovered a magazine in his room.  He had only agreed to hold it for Natalie because it had the word "playboy" on the cover and he had vaguely supposed it to have something to do with some sort of games.  She had taken it to his father, who had taken him aside and calmly explained that when he was old enough he'd get a subscription just like his father had gotten for him so there was no need to steal the issues out of the bathroom-

And when he'd tried to blame Natalie…

            Now that horrible witch (He had recently learned a new word from Tommy at School that would have described her perfectly starting with "B" and ending with the same suffix) was corrupting other innocents!

He had to save Sherry.

However he was going up against some of the smartest-deadliest people in the world-

His parents.

How to get Mom, Dad, Mr. Birkin, and Mrs. Birkin to look away?

The only way he knew how.

            "FIRE!"

Alan screamed, pointed, and fled-taking off down the hallway.

All four adults-trained by society-looked.

            "Alan! There's no-" Wesker turned around first to discover that his son had vanished, "Shit."

"Where'd Alan go?" Clarice was the second to look around, "Alan? Honey!"

"Now the three of them are lost." Annette threw up her hands, "That's great…"

"Actually…" Wesker's mind jumped to dirty awful places-until he was smacked back by his wife's hand.

            "No-fantasizing in my presence." Clarice was sweet, tractable, and a loving mother and wife.  She also had a temper to rival that of a water buffalo, and when her husband's fidelity was concerned her views were slightly to the right of Genghis Khan.

"GET BACK HERE YOU LOUSY-"

            With the ease that only a Japanese anime character could muster, William Birkin reached out, grabbed the running girl by her collar, and pulled her into their conversation.  Apparently once again on the trail of one of her Friends, Miss Violet looked outraged for about five seconds.  Then she promptly melted into a happy-merry squishy puddle of helpfulness, and being royally pissed off.

"So you lost the kid." She said, after listening to William's explanation, "What's the problem again?"

            William's eyes narrowed, "Besides the fact that Sherry is a Tax-Shelter-and a beloved Tax Shelter at that-"

Birkin fans around the world groaned-realizing that he truly loved his daughter.

            "We want to make sure she's safe and okay."

Violet sighed, "What's…" She grinned at Birkin, "In it for me?"

            "Um…" Annette pushed her husband out of the way and stared the younger woman down, "How about walking away with all your limbs intact?"

"Excuse me?" Violet froze for about two seconds, then turned deadly, "Bring it you lousy-"

            "Ladies…" Wesker put an intervening hand between them, "Ladies, lets focus on finding the children hmm? Then we can have you catfight.  In a room, filled with mud-"

Wesker winced as his wife slapped him for the second time.

---------------

"Santa?" Sherry sniffled, "Natalie Ma'am, you said you were taking me to my movie!"

            "I am." Natalie Wesker ran a hand through her hair and glanced around, "This is just a slight detour."

Natalie had insisted that they investigate a door that was close to the Santa Theater.  Sherry had waved mournfully at the marquee image of Santa Claus wearing sunglasses as Natalie pulled her by the hand into a mysterious door that, according to her, BEGGED to be investigated.

            They were now in a room above the theaters.  Strange whirring noises could be heard towards the left and right of them.  Posters were tacked all over the walls, and the entire area reeked of lived in sensibilities. 

"This must be where the theater employees live." Natalie said, studying the area, "What a dump."

            A thick gray thing was situated atop a nearby counter-followed by a large device that was covered with various numbers.

Sherry, being two and curious-had to investigate.

            "Ooooh…" she toddled over, "Buttons."

Indeed, the keypad was populated with shiny buttons.  She grinned and began pushing them at random; listening merrily to the tune she could now play.

"Natalie! I can play a song! Come hear!"  She merrily continued tapping buttons.

-------

-Down below in the theater offices

"What the…" Kevin, the erstwhile manager of the theater, frowned and checked the computer screen, "What the hell is that?"

            "Dunno." Eve delicately tapped at the computer, asking it what was wrong, "It looks like somebody's messing with the clock-in counter."

"What the fuck!" Kevin growled.  He straightened his tie and then loosened it again out of habit, "Do they think they're doing? That counter is supposed to be use sparingly! The Home office is going to have our heads!"

Both shivered instinctively.

For yes, the Raccoon City Pacific theaters, part of the pacific theater conglomerate-were- (known to them, unknown to the three scientists and a housewife lurking about within their walls) a part of the Umbrella Corporation.

            The Story was, that Lord Spencer (Long may he reign, as the employees said) bought the theaters after a bad night of gumbo and a screening of a movie called "Gigli." Nobody knew where this new movie had come from, but Spencer had apparently been so enraptured with the acting and the storyline that he decreed that his company must own a theater chain.

The theater had found out after a letter had arrived in the mail-followed by a crack team of professionals who basically (In a very hard week of training which mostly seemed to consist of shooting weapons at moving targets, science, and learning to identify various large animals) they were decreed an official subsidiary of the Umbrella corporation.

And if they messed up (Fucked up, as the Rep had put it) Awful things were hinted at.  Something mainly to do with a video game plot and the word outbreak.  Perhaps it had something to do with that Morgan Freeman movie…

            "Go find out what the hell is going on." Kevin said thorough gritted teeth, "Now."

Eve nodded once.  She strode from the office, out the door-through the popcorn.  After tripping on the popcorn she headed into the theater with dark purposes on her mind.

--------------

A/N: Chapter five! Wooo! Now we know that Spencer's evil, he liked GIGLI! *screams in terror and dies* Poor Alan, now he's got Natalie and Eve to contend with…*evil laugh*