A/N: Here's chapter six! You know what's the best thing about these type of stories? Coming up with the titles!
Disclaimer: It's not mine, it's not mine. I'm not obsessed! *Mutters darkly at all real life friends * grrr…
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There are moments in life when people take charge.
Records of human beings who, when pushed to the final barrier-the last limit-break out of whatever shell they're hiding in, and do something extraordinary, and incredible. This usually amounts to growing up, or changing in some specific way after an event. It is as Hemingway wrote, "I don't think I'll ever be the same again."
In this case, Alan was the victim.
"Excuse me." He approached a theater employee, "I'm looking for a teenage girl-well, and she'd be about nine-and a little girl-about two. Um…I'm afraid I don't know what they're wearing-but I'd be happy to assist you in picking them out of a line up if you find them."
The theater employee looked at Alan.
Alan looked back at him.
"Look kid…" The man got down on his knees, the beautiful girl he was talking to giggle slightly and raised a delicate hand to her mouth, "Later, okay?"
Alan's eyes narrowed, "I need to find them. It's very important."
"And I'm telling you to do it later. Or go talk to somebody else. Go bug Brandon, or Kevin in the office."
"But- I need help now…"
"Here." The man grabbed Alan by the shoulders, "Allow me to explain. Fuck Off. Okay?"
Alan's eyes rose.
"And you listen to ME." He grabbed the young man by the collar and squeezed, "My dad's a big important scientist with the Umbrella corporation and if I so much as sneeze funny he'll jump on you and before you can say, "Fired" he'll have you green with six legs and tentacles. GET ME?"
The girl raised her eyes and shivered. The boy gulped.
"Umbrella?" He shuddered, "Su-sure. Where-where do you think they might be?" he did not mention the fact that he was an Umbrella employee too. It seemed best to do what the little boy wanted especially if his dad was one of those people who had the ability to make an average human being into a monster…
"Good!" Alan smiled jovially, "Sorry about that, but I really am worried about Sherry-what's your name?"
The older boy winced, rubbed his neck, and muttered, "Kyle."
"Cool." Alan's eyes narrowed at the girl, "Should he be talking to you?"
A nearby employee wielding a trashcan snorted.
"Quiet Caroline." Kyle growled, "Now Kid-where do you think they could have gone?"
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Eve reached the doorway to the upper levels.
No signs of forced entry…hmm. If it was a break-in…Dammit its probably just Larry or one of the other people going crazy with the buttons…
"Hey! Now play the macarana!"
Got you.
"HEY! KIDS! STOP!"
Natalie and Sherry looked up.
"Something's coming up the STAIRS!"
"It's the monster!" Sherry screamed dramatically and pointed. Natalie frowned, and turned to face the reader.
"Hey! You! In TV land!"
The reader- being understandably surprised; blinked at the screen in confused, mind-numbing terror.
"This isn't some kind of SD Perry novel! The next time that –expletive deleted- author makes a –expletive deleted- book joke Hunt her down okay?" Natalie put her hands on her hips and frowned, petulantly, "I mean come on! This story is WAAAY better THEN THOSE PIECES OF-"
Two guys in suits popped out of the N-Dimensional space and stalked past Natalie, Sherry, and Eve-all of whom were stunned beyond belief.
"There she is!" A gigantic Cat popped out of N-Space. The words SD Perry flashed below her on the screen, "That's the woman who insulted my book!"
"She's been doing this for years." A gigantic rabbit wearing a flannel shirt said, "Look at what she did to STAR WARS!"
"And Lord of the Rings!" said a gigantic mongoose, "My precious characters won't be the same after that dastardly mall trip!"
The author, being carried out on a gigantic one-dimensional N-space stretcher, grinned stupidly at the reader-who was still staring in blatant shock.
"See what I have to deal with? Writers block is EVIL! And people demand more of the story!"
"Quiet you." Said the first one-dimensional cop, "And give credit where credit is due at the end! Otherwise we come back and bring purple monkeys."
The author whimpered.
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Meanwhile downstairs…
"HEY!" Birkin jumped up and down, waving his arms, "I HAVE TO USE THE-"
"William." Annette said, eyes narrowed, "This isn't the Sims. You are capable of free will. You do not require the author to direct you to use the-ahem-facilities."
Birkin nodded once and bolted towards the bathroom.
"Where is the author anyway?" Clarice yawned, "She promised an update-we've been sitting in the movie theater so long that the movie's probably over."
-Evil cross-dimensional laughter is heard-followed by a voice squealing, THAT DOESN'T GO THERE- really, really loudly. –
"I feel like something stepped on my grave and built a tiny model train set." Wesker growled, "When are we going to get moving!"
"The minute William comes back from the bathroom." Annette said.
But sadly, that was NOT TO BE!
*Evil theme music. *
For in the bathroom-as is custom in all RE games-there was a card game. And William-being a mathematical genius and all around good guy-had decided to settle in.
"Give me two." He said quietly, "And poor another gin."
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A/N: Sorry for the wait a bit. Yes, this is the most random chapter I can think of-but people are demanding updates on all my fics, and I'm seriously writer blocking.
Ahem.
SD Perry and George Lucas are great people. REALLY great people. They were represented along with JRR Tolkien. No offense is met.
The stories quoted were
"THE LORD OF THE MALL"- by RamenKitty.
"THE MAGIC BROWNIES" –also by RamenKitty.
And while I recuperate in the N-space hospital, I advise you to read them ^_^
