"Let's go through this one more time, okay Jack?"
Jack rolled his eyes and nodded. "Okay... The golden rule is..."
Will nodded encouragingly.
"I will no' never ever drink rum, 'cept at weekends, an' never in excess."
Will smiled. "Good! And why's that?"
Jack sighed. "I don' know... Ye like to torture me?"
"No, actually, alcohol in excess can damage your liver and heart and cause you to act foolishly and irresponsibly. That is, more than usual."
Jack nodded. "That's exactly what I meant. Ye took th' very words right out of me mouth."
"Of course."
"You know wha', Will."
Will waited
"I am goin' to have th' mother of all headaches when I sober up fer the firs' time in..." He thought, "Twen'y years?"
"Twenty years?" Will repeated, incredulous. Jack nodded. "Well, you'll have learnt a very valuable lesson."
"Yes, never ever trust Will, an'... Once ye're drunk, stay drunk. How long till the weekend?"

***
Jack looked up from the book he was pretending to be reading and guiltily shoved a bottle of rum under a cushion. Will frowned.
"Jack..." Jack sighed and handed it over.
"Did you pay for that?" Will asked. Jack looked sheepish.
"I... er... the market... That is to say... Um... Yes...?" Will raised an eyebrow.
"Anyway, me and Elizabeth are going out for the evening." Jack nodded. "So please, stay here and don't do anything stupid. And look after Baby."
Jack looked insulted. "O' course I will! What kin' a man do ye think I am?" Will looked sceptical.
"The kind of man who has another three bottles of rum hidden in his room?" Jack sighed.
"Ye have no trust in me, lad. I'll look after her, okay?" The men raised their heads to see Elizabeth sauntering elegantly down the stairs in a bosom-enhancing dress and inexplicable shoes. Jack began to wolf- whistle, but thought better of it when Will glared at him. "So what's the occasion?"
Elizabeth smiled. "Oh hello Jack. Commodore Norrington's getting married." Jack smirked.
"So who's the, shall I say lucky, lady?"
"Oh, my cousin. Eleanor."
"How stupid would ye' 'ave t' be to agree to marry 'im?"
Elizabeth frowned. "Remember who you're talking to, Jack." She smiled ironically. "It's a smart match. I do pity her though, she hasn't even met him yet."
"She hasn' met him?"
"No, she heard a rich Commodore was up for grabs and jumped at the chance. They've been corresponding by letter for the last few months."
Jack nodded. "I see."
"Not the cleverest of girls, my cousin. Very beautiful, mind. I dare say James will be quite satisfied. Perhaps Eleanor will be slightly less enthusiastic about him."
Jack looked up hopefully. "So, a wedding then. I love weddings. Am I invited?"
"No." Said Will and Elizabeth firmly.
"Can' I come?"
"No."
He glowered at them. "Fine." He said sulkily. Will rolled his eyes and turned to Elizabeth.
"Shall we go, darling?" She nodded. "See you later, Jack. And behave, please." They turned to go and luckily missed the face Jack made at their backs, and the gesture which accompanied it.

***

"Don' leave the 'ouse, Jack." Jack walked up and down the living- room, mimicking Will furiously. "Don' drink any rum, Jack, and cu' off all yer hair. Wha' do they think I am?" Baby, who was being carried about, gurgled happily. "I know!" Jack agreed. "I shouldn't listen to them." Baby smiled and waved her arms around.
"Need Wum." She giggled. Jack nodded.
"Me too, Baby." Looking out the window, he smiled as the sun came out from behind a cloud. "Why don't we go for a walk, then. See if we can find some wum, eh?"

***

"Dearly beloved" droned the minister. "We are gathered here today..." Elizabeth sighed and shut her eyes. Weddings were boring. And when she thought that it could have been here up there, looking like a wedding cake and simpering at Norrington's side. Well, she was glad she had Will. She gave his hand a squeeze. He, however, wasn't looking at the ceremony. He was frowning out the window.
"What is it?" she whispered in his ear. He turned.
"Oh, nothing." He said vaguely. "Just, well, I thought I saw –" the door to the church opened and Jack minced in, smiling, with Baby on his shoulders. "Jack and Baby wandering around outside..." Will finished weakly. Elizabeth groaned. Spotting the couple Jack smiled and waved. "Oh dear." Will sighed. "He's seen us."
"Mr. Turner!" Norrington barked imperiously. "What is the meaning of this?" Will shrugged helplessly. "Please remove this man." Jack turned.
"Remove me? Why, I've come all this way t' see me good pal the Commodore and I aint even allowed into 'is wedding? Don' mind me, James, I won' interrupt you."
"It seems." Norrington said icily. "You already have." The minister looked confused.
"Should I continue...?"
"Get on with it." Norrington snapped. "I do, and all that." Next to him his bride looked close to tears. "And why is that man still here?" Baby started to cry. "What is that?"
Jack looked up from the child in his hands. "Oh, sorry. This is Baby, me daughter. Baby, this is Norrington. 'E shouts a lot and kills pirates fer a living. Ye can throw up on 'im if ye want." Will tried not to laugh.
"Arrest this man!" Norrington yelled furiously. Jack grinned.
"Ye'll 'ave te catch me firs'." Clutching Baby in his arms, he ran out of the church, grabbing a bottle of champagne from the shelf near the door as he went. Baby squealed with excitement as Jack ran along the street, arms waving wildly, and turned around a corner to pause in a dark alley. "Shh..." he whispered. "Gotta keep quiet." Looking around warily, he cautiously walked to the other end of the alley and swore violently under his breath. "Soldiers down that way, how'd they get down there?" Baby whimpered and Jack swore again. "No, no Baby, ye got t' stay quiet. Jus' for a little bit longer, shh..." Baby screwed up her face and started to scream. "No!" Jack waved his arms frantically. "Please, jus' shut up." She cried louder. "Come on now Baby, Shh... Shh..." It was no use, the soldiers were already closing in. "Bloody 'ell." He groaned. Making a last, desperate chance to escape, he started to climb the wall, but it was no use. Dropping back to the ground, he looked at the unfriendly faces of the soldiers and smiled helplessly. "Can I 'elp you, gentlemen?"
"Get the child." Norrington ordered in a bored voice. Jack gasped.

"No." He offered his wrists. "Leave 'er. Take me. She aint done nothing wrong." Norrington rolled his eyes. One of the soldiers roughly prised Baby from Jack's clutches. With a grim smile, the Commodore clicked handcuffs in place around Jack's arms.
"Jack Sparrow, Pirate, you are under arrest. And I don't intend to let you go this time."

A/N Sorry it's taken me so long to get a chapter up! I hope it won't be too long before the next one ( Also, I'm looking for a beta for my upcoming fics, so please get in touch if you're interested ^_^