A/N: Yet another chapter. If ya don't like it, stop reading, and for those
who are actually reading, my kudos to you.
~*~ Sirius Black and Remus Lupin lay on one of the larger branches of an old oak tree within sight of the lake. Using their intertwined fingers, Remus lifted Sirius' arm and looked it over. "What's with all the scars?" Remus asked the other 6th year, letting his arm down. Sirius was a while before answering. "To borrow a phrase from John Rzenik, 'Scars are souvenirs you never lose.'" Remus frowned as he answered, "You mean you...." ".... Did this to myself, yeah." Sirius shifted so he could see Remus. "You don't understand. It was the only thing that I could control. I was in charge of my own fate. Then I could sleep. Even knowing where I was. Now I'm here and not going back, ever, I'm getting my own place summers and I'll never go back." His eyes lit up while he talked about moving out, "straight from King's Cross to my own home." Seeing the look still in Remus' eyes, Sirius turned serious again. "I could control it. How much it hurt, where I wanted it, when to stop, what to use. I could control it and it took my mind off everything else. Everything that I couldn't control. The fact that my parents were closely affiliated with the Dark Arts, that they didn't give a rat's ass about me, that my little brother joined the Dark Wizards, and I'm his older brother. I was supposed to look out for him. But I didn't, and now he's with Lord Voldemort." His voice cracked, "I tried to stop him, tried to stop Regulus from joining, but my parents had been talking to him for too long. He joined summer last year and I couldn't stop him. He's gone now and I won't get my little brother back." Tears threatened to fall as Sirius looked at the scars. Remus' voice was gentle. "Why didn't you talk to me about it? I could have helped." He reached for Sirius' hand. "You know enough about my home life," he smiled bitterly, "I didn't want to scare you away." Remus looked reprovingly at Sirius, "You know that would never happen. I am a werewolf." He said, kissing the scars, "and no more of that. Talk to me or James or anyone." "Don't worry. Already been stopped. Certain werewolves have a calming effect, contrary to popular belief." Despite the tone, Sirius' eyes still shone too brightly, and he was too still. "Stop it love. Come here." Remus pulled Sirius closer so he could look directly into the other's eyes. "You shouldn't joke about things like this." Sirius was silent for a while before answering. "Boys don't cry. It's ok. I'm ok." He smiled, a little pale, and stood up. "Come on, it's getting dark and I'm hungry." He reached out a hand and they walked back to the castle. Only later did Remus remember Sirius' comment 'boys don't cry', and thought of the scars, and a picture of Sirius in swimming trunks with scars on his back. Boys don't cry....
~*~
~*~ Sirius Black and Remus Lupin lay on one of the larger branches of an old oak tree within sight of the lake. Using their intertwined fingers, Remus lifted Sirius' arm and looked it over. "What's with all the scars?" Remus asked the other 6th year, letting his arm down. Sirius was a while before answering. "To borrow a phrase from John Rzenik, 'Scars are souvenirs you never lose.'" Remus frowned as he answered, "You mean you...." ".... Did this to myself, yeah." Sirius shifted so he could see Remus. "You don't understand. It was the only thing that I could control. I was in charge of my own fate. Then I could sleep. Even knowing where I was. Now I'm here and not going back, ever, I'm getting my own place summers and I'll never go back." His eyes lit up while he talked about moving out, "straight from King's Cross to my own home." Seeing the look still in Remus' eyes, Sirius turned serious again. "I could control it. How much it hurt, where I wanted it, when to stop, what to use. I could control it and it took my mind off everything else. Everything that I couldn't control. The fact that my parents were closely affiliated with the Dark Arts, that they didn't give a rat's ass about me, that my little brother joined the Dark Wizards, and I'm his older brother. I was supposed to look out for him. But I didn't, and now he's with Lord Voldemort." His voice cracked, "I tried to stop him, tried to stop Regulus from joining, but my parents had been talking to him for too long. He joined summer last year and I couldn't stop him. He's gone now and I won't get my little brother back." Tears threatened to fall as Sirius looked at the scars. Remus' voice was gentle. "Why didn't you talk to me about it? I could have helped." He reached for Sirius' hand. "You know enough about my home life," he smiled bitterly, "I didn't want to scare you away." Remus looked reprovingly at Sirius, "You know that would never happen. I am a werewolf." He said, kissing the scars, "and no more of that. Talk to me or James or anyone." "Don't worry. Already been stopped. Certain werewolves have a calming effect, contrary to popular belief." Despite the tone, Sirius' eyes still shone too brightly, and he was too still. "Stop it love. Come here." Remus pulled Sirius closer so he could look directly into the other's eyes. "You shouldn't joke about things like this." Sirius was silent for a while before answering. "Boys don't cry. It's ok. I'm ok." He smiled, a little pale, and stood up. "Come on, it's getting dark and I'm hungry." He reached out a hand and they walked back to the castle. Only later did Remus remember Sirius' comment 'boys don't cry', and thought of the scars, and a picture of Sirius in swimming trunks with scars on his back. Boys don't cry....
~*~
