Comfort

Part IV

Empathy: 2 : the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and

vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also : the capacity for this

****

Hermione opened her eyes to find she was in her room tucked into bed. Molly sat beside her knitting. "Hermione dear," Molly said, putting down her knitting, "how are you feeling?"

 "Okay," Hermione said.  Her mind raced as she remembered the last moments in the bathroom. Dreading the next words out of Molly's mouth, she tried to think of what she was going to say.

"What happened child?"

Hermione blurted out the only thing she could think of, "I know this sounds odd," she looked at Molly, "but…I think…well, that I saw Kreacher."

Molly looked shocked but nodded sympathetically.  The second day Hermione had been back at Grimmauld Place she had questioned Molly about Kreacher's whereabouts for no one had mentioned him.  Molly had told her that he had been absent for several weeks.  Hermione had searched the place looking for the elf and had found him.  His body was in the attic, his head neatly severed and laying on top of his chest.  From the stench, he had been dead for quite awhile.  No one spoke about the house elf's strange demise, yet there was a sense of satisfaction from several of the occupant's of Grimmauld Place, especially from Harry.

"It was just a stupid vision, I guess," Hermione muttered blushing.

Patting her hand, Molly assured her that anything was possible in this place.  "Go back to sleep, it will be better in the morning.  Oh, by the way, Professor Snape left a package for you earlier. It's on the nightstand."

Hermione saw the small brown package and her heart jumped.  "Thanks," she said, anxious to open the package but not wanting to do so in front of Molly.

After Molly had left, Hermione opened the box.  A small vial with a dark red potion and a note lay within. Opening the note, she saw that it was from Dumbledore.

Miss Granger,

After speaking with Professor Snape about your circumstances, do not worry I did not disclose anything but the barest facts, he assured me that he knew of a draught that would ease your discomfort during Lupin's transformation.

It is a form of Dreamless Sleep Potion combined with a powerful painkiller.  Two drops to the tongue is all that is needed.  It would be best that you retire early during the three nights of the full moon and take the draught.  I would advise against indulging any curiosity to discover how painful a werewolf's transformation may be.

Kind Regards,

A. Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts  

Hermione snorted.  Curiosity indeed.  If only Molly had given this to her earlier, she would have gladly forgone the experience.  Still, she could not help feeling thankful that she did know how awful the transformation was.  Though it made her very melancholy to think that Remus had to endure it monthly, she felt closer to him somehow.

****

The days passed quickly for Hermione as she threw herself into the summer homework that had been assigned.  She was still unsure in what direction her career would take her, for she was torn between several choices and had submitted three different career paths to her advisors at Hogwarts earlier that summer. Her schedule bore a very heavy course load, ensuring she would have all the N.E.W.T.s needed for each career.

Harry and Ron had both opted to study for careers as Aurors. Hermione was mildly surprised when their schedules showed they both had been accepted into Professor's Snape's N.E.W.T. level potions class.  Harry told her glumly that it was probably Dumbledore's doing as both he and Ron had only received an A in potions.

After much badgering from both Molly and Hermione, the boys had managed to finish their summer homework on the last day of their stay at headquarters.

On the morning they were to leave for Hogwarts, Hermione was finishing her packing and Ginny was scrambling around madly trying to find her things, which were scattered throughout the place.  Hermione suddenly felt a flare of anger surge through her followed by scorn mingled with deep sorrow.  She was puzzled for a moment before she realized what the sudden feelings meant.  Remus was here somewhere.  A smile crossed her face, though she wondered why he was so angry and sad at the same time.

Harry and Ron burst into the room a few minutes later.  Harry's face was flushed and his eyes glowed in anger. He threw himself on Ginny's bed and Ginny protested after he knocked her stack of books to the floor. "What's up?" Hermione asked feeling a bit annoyed by their abrupt entrance.

"We have to take the Knight Bus to Hogwarts," Ron said gloomily.  His only trip on the bus last year had not been a bit fun.  The jolting, lurching bus had thrown its occupants to the floor as the unbolted chairs had tumbled around.

"Why?" Ginny asked in shock.

"We have to go on the train," Hermione said sharply.  "The prefects have to get their instructions…"

"You all can go on the train," Harry snapped.  "I am the one not 'allowed' to go.  I have to be under careful watch." He slammed his fist into the mattress. "Who does he think he is anyway?"

"Listen mate," Ron said exasperatedly.  Apparently he had already gone through this with Harry. "We 'all' have to go on the bus.  Mum insisted after what Lupin told her."

"What?" Hermione and Ginny asked.

"Something about it being unsafe on the train, maybe a possible ploy to get Harry."

"They should let me go.  I can handle myself," Harry said angrily. "But no, it seems that whatever Lupin says, goes."

"Harry, that's not fair," Hermione said reprovingly.  "Remus only has your best interest…"

"My best interest is for him to leave me alone.  He acts like he is trying to take Sirius' place."

"Of course he isn't." Hermione flared, understanding now what probably had caused Remus' feelings.  "Really Harry, quit being such a git."

Harry glared at her.  "Fine.  Let someone else tell you what you can and cannot do and see how you like it."

Giving him a withering look, Hermione started to say something when Molly's voice rang up the stairs announcing that it was time to go.  With trunks bumping down the stairs, Hedwig and Pigwigdeon hooting, Ron grumbling and Ginny bemoaning she hadn't found everything yet, they made quite a ruckus by the time they reached the hall, prompting the portrait of Mrs. Black to start its wailing.  Remus, Bill, Tonks and Molly gave them a disapproving look.

"I didn't do it this time," Tonks said in her defense as Bill and Remus tried to shut the curtains on the portrait. Hermione tried to catch Remus' eye as she passed him but his attention was on the task at hand.  She felt a bit hurt that he hadn't even sought her out to say hello.
"Be quiet," hissed Molly at them as they continued their progress out the hall to the door. Mad eyed Moody was waiting for them on the sidewalk as they finally got all the stuff out.

"'Bout time you lot got out here," he growled, flinging out his wand.  There was a sharp crack and a purple three decker bus screeched to a halt before them. Bill and Remus started loading the trunks into the storage compartment.

Stan Shunpike, a thin pimply man in a purple uniform, greeted them as the climbed up the stairs.  "A bit full today.  May find a few up top.  Well hello again 'Arry'." 

"Shut your gob," Moody hissed.  "Lupin, I will find a spot here, see if you can get the kids situated on the second deck."

The second deck was also crowded but they found five chairs.  "I will take the upper deck," Remus said as everyone settled in.  Ginny and Hermione had squeezed together in an over sized armchair.

After a few minutes of tossing and tumbling as the bus lurched and jumped, Hermione stood up. "I think I'll see if there is an extra chair up top with Remus," she told Ginny.  "I want to talk to him about that spell we were working on anyway." 

The third deck was not as crowded and she saw Remus sitting in the back.  He stood up quickly and met her halfway up the aisle. "Something wrong?" he asked.

"Just wanted a bit more room," she told him.  He relaxed and took her arm as they swayed when the bus turned sharply to the right. They sat down in two armchairs.  Remus smiled brightly at her and she could feel his gladness to see her.  It had worried her at first, for he had seemed distant when she had first seen him.

"How are you, Hermione?" he asked gently holding her gaze with his.

"Fine thanks. Remus," she said hesitantly and then asked, "What's up?  I mean why couldn't we go on the train?" 

Looking around at the other passengers, he leaned close to her and spoke softly.  "We got word that there was an attack planned in hopes of capturing Harry. Apparently the train would have been stopped somewhere along the line. "

Hermione nodded, suspecting something of that nature. "The other students, will they be safe?"

"I believe so.  Those planning the attack would have been watching the station to see if Harry boarded for he was the only one they sought. I do think they will abort the plan now. It wouldn't be worth the risk, but as a precaution we have half a dozen members riding the train so everything should be alright."

"I hope so," Hermione said, thinking of the other students on the train.

Remus gave her a small smile.  "So how did you get along this month?"  He lowered his voice once more. "Did the potion Dumbledore told me about work?"

Hermione hesitated.  She wanted to reassure him that she had not suffered but didn't want to lie either. "Yes, the potion worked.  I felt nothing those nights I took it…but I didn't have it the first night." 

Remus took Hermione's hand, his eyes filled with sorrow.  She felt his overwhelming sadness and stifled an urge to cry. "I wish I could have spared you from that," he said solemnly.

"I know, but Remus you go through that every month.  How…how can you bear it?"

"I have no choice," he said soberly.

"Do you think it is that way with the Animagus?  I mean, I had interest in learning the art, but if it is that painful, well, I want nothing to do with it."

He smiled at her.  "I had asked the same question myself.  The guys told me that after they got the process down pat that the transformation was over with so quickly it only felt like a tingle running up your spine.  Unfortunately as you found out, my transformation takes minutes not seconds."

"It seemed like hours," Hermione shuddered, remembering the horrible sensation.

"Three minutes and forty-eight seconds to be precise."

She looked at him quizzically. "James and Sirius timed me once," he explained with a smile. "Though you are right.  It does seem like an eternity."

"Curious," he spoke after a few minutes of silence.

"What's that?"

"I cannot imagine what form you would take as an Animagus.  A person does not choose their form, rather the essence of that person's true personality chooses.  He studied her for a moment, his eyes sparkling in amusement. "Perhaps a lioness or a very beautiful bird of some type."

Hermione blushed. "Thank you, I think," she said. "Though I would probably turn out to be a worm."  Remus raised an eyebrow at her. "Well people are always calling me a bookworm." Remus' rich tenor voice rang with laughter causing a few passengers to turn their heads to stare at him.

A young witch appeared at the top of the stairs, one hand clutching several bags and holding a toddler in her other arm.  She looked around clearly distressed.  "Miss," Remus called, standing up and offering her his chair.  The witch thanked him gratefully as she sat down, the young child in her arms fussing now. Hermione smiled.  Remus was every bit a gentleman no matter how shabby he appeared.

"I'll go try to squeeze in with Ginny again," Hermione told him standing.  Just then the bus took off with a bang and knocked her off her feet.  She felt two strong hands on her waist and found herself pulled into Remus' lap as he flopped down on the armchair she had just gotten up from.

"Or you could just stay here," he teased, his gray eyes softening as he looked at her. "It might be safer."

Hermione giggled.  Sitting on his lap, his arm around her waist, she couldn't think of anywhere else she would rather be.

After several more wild stops and starts, the third level had cleared out quite a bit.  Remus did not suggest that Hermione find another seat nor did she as she sat in his lap feeling very safe and warm. They discussed her schedule and other matters until they heard the conductor announce, "'Ogwarts".

****

School started off uneventfully-- except for the grumbling from the sixth years over the amount of homework they already had by the second week.     The pressure which Hermione felt reminded her of her third year when she'd needed a time turner to take all the classes that she'd signed up for.  She had the same five classes that Ron and Harry had, plus three more. 

Eating breakfast that September morning, she was pleased to see several owls approaching her, for it was her sixteenth birthday.  Ron had given her a set of combs for her hair and Harry's gift was a set of different writing quills.  Her parents had sent some books and a large box of sugar free sweets and Mrs. Weasley had knitted her a blue jumper.

When another owl landed by her plate with a package, she was puzzled.   She thought she had already gotten everything from those who would send her a gift.

Opening the small package, she saw it was a small diary with a dark burgundy suede leather cover.  She opened the letter attached and her heart skipped a beat.

Dear Hermione,

Wishing you much happiness today.  I hope that things are well and the term has started off on the right foot.

I realize that things happen in our lives that are overwhelming.  It is at these times I find solace in recording my thoughts and feelings.  I find that this gives me some sense of control and, if nothing else, allows me to express whatever I need to at the moment.  Maybe this will be of some comfort to you also.

If you ever have need of me, do not hesitate to send word.  I will do whatever is in my power to answer.

Sincerely

Remus

Hermione ran her hand over the soft suede leather.  Opening it, she read on the first page, "With my utmost respect." Smiling, she slipped the diary into her robe pocket, her thoughts on a certain gray eyed man.

****

It was late October day and Hermione was sitting between Ron and Harry in Transfiguration.  The boys were discussing what they wanted to buy when they went to Hogsmeade that Saturday. "Would you be quiet," Hermione hissed.  She felt jumpy and distracted. "I think learning how to do this spell would be more important that the latest novelty at the joke shop."

Ron looked at her and grinned. "You would think."

"Now to complete the spell, hold your wand over the object thus," Professor McGonagall said, demonstrating the proper flick of the wand.  The Transfiguration class mimicked her movements though Hermione was finding it very hard to concentrate as she felt her heart beginning to race and fear gripping at her.  She clutched at her wand, trying to focus on the movement Professor McGonagall was showing once more. A sheen of sweat appeared on her forehead and upper lip.

"Hermione?" Ron nudged her. "You okay?  You're as pale as a ghost."

Hermione turned to look at Ron.  "I think I must be coming down with something," she said.  "Maybe I ought to go to the infirmary…" Hermione's neck snapped back as she felt something solid strike her across the cheek.  She toppled off the stool landing with a thud on the stone floor.

"Hermione!" Harry cried. "What's wrong?"

"Just clumsy," she tried, rubbing her cheek.  Grabbing Harry's outstretched hand, she stood up only to double over as something struck her hard in the stomach.

"Miss Granger, Mr. Potter." Professor McGonagall was approaching them.  "Pray tell why you find it necessary to interrupt the class."

"Sorry, my fault," Hermione groaned clutching at her stomach.

McGonagall put a hand on Hermione's shoulder.  "Do you need to go see Madame Pomfrey child?"

"Yes," Hermione began when her body was filled with a sensation that felt like sharp hot knives were piercing every part of her skin.  Shrieking she fell to the floor, curling up in a fetal position as her body jerked and twitched.  "Remus," she moaned, twitching as the pain eased. 

Harry was looking at her with fright in his eyes, as he knelt down beside her.  Hermione grasped his robes pulling his face down next to hers. "Tell…Dumbledore…Remus…" she tried but another wave of the same sharp piercing pain raced up and down her body. 

Professor McGonagall grabbed Harry's shoulder. "Go!" she whispered urgently for she had heard Hermione's words.  Harry nodded and took one last look at Hermione who was moaning in pain before running out of the room.

"Get back everyone!" McGonagall told the students gathered around Hermione now.  Conjuring a stretcher, she told Ron to help her get Hermione on it.  Once Hermione was on the stretcher, Professor mcGonagall levitated and started to the door when Hermione started clawing at her neck.  Ron and Minerva watched in horror as she began choking, gasping for breath as her face began turning red, her lips tinged with blue.

AN: Big thanks to AprilGrey for beta services skillfully done.  Check out her stories on this site.  Excellent reads.  Thanks to Ali-on Broadway for suggestions and advice.