Thanks to AprilGrey for beta services/ Thanks for all the lovely reviews
Comfort
Part VIII
Alleviate-a : to make (as suffering) more bearable b : to partially remove or correct
****
"Going in to Hogsmeade tomorrow?" Ron asked Hermione as they headed to the Great Hall for dinner.
"Yes. I need to buy a few more presents. Do you think your mom would like a new cookbook?"
Ron shrugged. "You know how mom's are. They appreciate anything anyone gets them. I think she's adopted you, Hermione, so if you gave her a stick she would be happy."
"Don't be silly, Ron," Hermione chided, though she was pleased about what he had said.
"How about you, Harry? Going to do some Christmas shopping?" Ron asked, noting how quiet Harry was as they sat down.
"Suppose."
Ron and Hermione exchanged looks. Harry had been sullen for the past week ever since Dumbledore had announced that no students would be allowed to stay at Hogwarts over Christmas. He had withdrawn into a silent mood, only stating he would rather go to the Dursleys than back to Grimmauld Place.
Hermione sighed and started eating. She was going to spend Christmas at headquarters since her parents were going on a cruise. Her mind drifted to Remus, hoping that he would be happy to see her again.
Their last night in the garden room had been strained. Hermione assumed it was because of the conversation she had overheard, though he didn't know that she had. They had talked for a while and Remus bade her goodnight with a chaste kiss.
For the past six weeks she had thought of him, and of the time they had shared, carefully analyzing her feelings towards him. Her class load kept her busy along with her prefect duties, but often she would stop in the middle of writing an assignment and think of Remus.
'He said he only loved me like the others,' she would think sadly. 'But he made love to me.'
'A baby? I have to have to a baby to break the spell? Remus said that was impossible. Silly to think of it anyway, not for years. But is it impossible?'
'I am silly to think that he would feel anything towards me. It was the spell.'
Her emotions were torn. 'I am too young to know what love is. Aren't I?'
It had been Ginny who finally helped her decide exactly what those feelings were.
"Alright. Out with it," Ginny demanded one evening in the common room. Hermione looked up from her Transfiguration text.
"Out with what?"
"Who is he, Hermione?" Ginny asked knowingly.
"Don't know what you are talking about?"
"You have met someone. I can tell. Your eyes get this faraway dreamy look at times and a smile crosses your face. Hermione, you act like someone in love."
Hermione looked at Ginny's smug face and smiled, saying nothing.
'Three more days,' she thought as she pushed her food around on her plate. Maybe when she saw him her muddled thoughts would be clearer.
****
"What is on your agenda today, Remus?" Arthur asked.
"I thought I would pop over to Diagon Alley if I am not needed here."
"Nothing happening that I know of," Arthur replied. "Seems even the other side takes a break during the holidays. It will be nice to have the kids here. Makes this bloody mess more tolerable having them underfoot."
Remus agreed, his thoughts straying to one certain brown-eyed girl. They heard someone coming down the stairs and Bill entered the kitchen with a huge grin on his face and went over to his mother. Molly stopped stirring the soup she was making and looked at him sternly. "So?"
Kissing her on the cheek, he gave her a big hug. "False alarm, Mum."
Molly pushed him away, a frown on her face. "It would have served you right if it wasn't. Really, I did not raise my children to carry on so." Bill laughed and kissed Molly again.
Bill sat down by Remus and poured a cup of coffee. Remus eyed him curiously, wondering what had been a false alarm.
"Arthur,' Molly said huffily, "don't you have anything to say to your son?'
Arthur flushed. "Right. Now, Bill, you must remember to use your own protection against these things. I have told you boys time and time again not to count on the woman…" his words trailed off as he saw Molly's bright face, knowing she was getting ready for a fight, "but like I have always said, wait till you're married and you won't have to worry about contraceptives at all," he finished hurriedly.
Remus smiled as he took a sip of coffee. So that was the 'false alarm'. Apparently Bill and Fleur had forgotten to use a contraceptive spell…Remus choked and spewed the table with coffee. Thumping him on the back, Bill asked if he was all right.
"Fine," Remus choked. "Just went down the wrong way."
"Are you sure you are alright dear?" Molly asked as she wiped up the table. "You are pale."
"Right as rain," he said brightly, though his mind was racing. He couldn't have forgotten, surely he had…Remus groaned inwardly realizing that indeed he had not cast a contraceptive charm that night in the garden room. There was nothing to do now but wait and ask Hermione if everything was all right. It was going to be a long three days.
****
Remus smiled politely at the goblin's disdainful look. The rare times he had visited Gringotts it was always the same. The goblins did not think someone dressed as he was in his patched and worn robes was worth the effort to take to the vaults. Yet politeness had to be maintained and Remus soon found himself standing before his family vault after a gut-wrenching ride in the trolley used to transport customers to the lower depths.
He knew there was no money in the vault. There hadn't been in ages. What it did hold was mementos of his childhood and one in particular was his goal today. After the door was unlocked, the goblin stepped aside to give Remus privacy. Stepping into the cold dark room, Remus was startled as the light glimmered off a small pile of gold.
There had to be a mistake, although the goblins were the most careful keepers of money in all the realms. He saw a sealed envelope propped up against the money with his name scrawled across it. Picking it up, his heart lurched as he recognized the handwriting. Padfoot.
Taking a deep breath, he tore it open and unfolded the parchment inside.
Moony,
If you are reading this, then I have taken that last adventure. I hope you are holding up, my friend, and please do not go into one of those dark depressive modes of yours. We all have to go sometime. I hope I went out with honor at least.
I am writing this as I stare at the walls of my prison, in this place that was once my so-called home. Albus suggested I update my will, wonder if he knows something I don't, and since I have nothing better to do-- here it is.
Now I know you, Remus. I can just hear you, saying how you do not need this money and it should be given to someone else. Bollocks. I have left half I own to Harry and have divided the rest between you, and Molly and Arthur. I figure if you are reading this that I have died before any resolve has come about over Voldemort, as I plan to rewrite this damn thing again once the war has ended. I want to be sure that the kids are taken care of.
Do me a favor, Remus. Look out for Harry. It was the happiest day of my life that night when he found me and believed my story. It was almost like having James back with us. Harry has too much on his shoulders and it is a damn shame. My only regret is that I am not there to help him, but I know you will carry on in my place.
I will miss you, my friend, and await the time we can be together again. Just don't be in a hurry for a reunion.
Remember this, Remus, that I truly loved you,
Sirius
A tear slipped down his cheek as Remus carefully folded the letter and put it in his robes. How well you knew me, Padfoot old friend. I do not want your money, but I will accept it because you wanted it that way.
Remus went to a small shelf and picked up a dusty jewelry box. Opening it, he rummaged through the pictures of his parents and other mementos until he found what he was looking for. Smiling, he slipped it in his pocket next to the letter.
****
Number 12 Grimmauld was filled with the smells of holiday baking and lighthearted conversation. Molly was in her element fussing in the kitchen as her extended family decorated the house, laughing and chatting. Tonks and Mundungus had volunteered to help that evening and stay for dinner after they had brought the children from the train station.
As Hermione and Ginny lugged their bags up to their room on the third floor, she wondered why Remus had not been at the station to escort them the few blocks to the house.
Dinner was festive. Mundungus was regaling everyone with a tall tale of how he had acquired a dozen flying carpets from an old Arabian sheik. The only problem was that the carpets were afraid of heights and refused to go higher than three feet off the ground. Molly had made a plum pudding and Hermione had just taken her first bite of the delicious dessert when she felt a surge of panic running through her. Closing her eyes, she waited. Her heart was racing and she felt the adrenaline flow over her, then a blinding rage. Clutching her spoon, she opened her eyes and looked around the kitchen. Everyone was busy eating his or her pudding, talking and smiling. She wanted to scream at them that something was wrong. But why would they believe her? Only Harry knew that she had a connection to Remus and this time Dumbledore was nowhere in sight.
A few more minutes passed, her adrenaline rush lessened and she breathed a little easier. A strong surge of guilt flooded over her. Hermione couldn't stand it any longer and tried to catch Harry's attention when Snape entered the kitchen. His face was set and he walked purposely towards Arthur. Tonks and Mundungus were on their feet watching him intently.
Snape said a few words to Arthur. Molly paled as Tonks put a hand on her shoulder. They started towards the door as Arthur turned back to the table. "Finish your dinner. I do not want any of you leaving this room, do you understand?" Arthur said sternly. "Dung stay and make sure they obey."
"What's that all about?" Ron asked once the others had left the room.
Mundungus pulled out his pipe and absently puffed on it. "You kids eat up. Nothing to be concerned about," he said, though his brow furrowed. The room was silent. Mundungus took a few more puffs then stood up. "You kids stay here. I'll be right back."
"Something has happened," Ginny whispered, her face pale.
"We won't find out sitting here. Come on," Ron said getting up. Hermione, Harry and Ginny followed.
They crept up the stairs, stopping in the shadows at the top of the stairs. The entrance door opened and they saw Moody and Remus enter supporting someone between them. "Bill!" Molly cried. The portrait of Sirius' mother starting wailing at Molly's outburst. "Scum, traitors."
"Take him to my room—it's the closest," Remus instructed as he and Moody tried to close the drapes on the painting.
"You think Bill's okay?" Ginny asked quietly.
"I am sure he is," Hermione assured her.
"Well, I want to know for sure," Ron said as Remus and Moody disappeared into Remus' room. They crept quietly past the portrait and stopped next to the open door.
"Oh, Bill." Molly's voice was high and tearful.
"Mum," Bill said, his voice groggy. "I am okay. Really. See, it's not that bad."
Hermione heard Ginny's sigh of relief.
"How did this happen?" Arthur asked.
"It would not have happened if someone had followed the plan," Snape's voice was low and condescending
"Leave it, Snape," Moody growled. "It happens to everyone."
"Really? I thought that Lupin was above such things."
"No harm done," Bill said. He sounded tired. "I knew you had to do what you thought best, Remus, just as you did Severus. Just wasn't expecting your attack."
"When Lupin failed to attack me, I had to react." Snape's tone was defensive.
"You attacked my son?" Molly's voice rose even higher.
"Molly," Moody's voice was gentle "Severus had to. He could not stand there and do nothing. It would have blown his cover if he had let us take out the Death Eaters without a fight."
"It was my fault, mum," Bill said. "I saw Severus casting a spell and I feinted to the right. Didn't know he had already aimed it to the right and fell right into it."
"No," Remus said quietly. Hermione's heart lurched as she felt his sadness. "Molly, it was my fault. I got sidetracked. Severus and I were to duel while the others took care of the rest of the Death Eaters. I allowed myself to turn away from the plan."
"Foolish," Snape said in a low voice. "Not following through with the plan could have cost us everything and all you can offer is a feeble apology." Hermione felt Remus' guilt and it saddened her. Damn Snape for making him feel worse.
"Bill will be just fine, Molly," Moody was saying. Just lost a little blood before we could get him out of there."
"Probably just knocked a little sense into him," Mundungus interjected.
"Dung, what are you doing here?" Arthur said sharply. "I thought I told you to keep the children in the kitchen."
"They will stay. Just wanted to know what happened."
"Stay will they?" Moody's gruff voice said. "Seems to me they are standing out in the hall and have overheard everything we said. Might as well let them come on in."
"You children get in here!" Arthur's voice was stern. They entered slowly into the room. "Thought I told you to stay below."
"Sorry dad," Ron said, his face paling as he saw Bill. Bill's robes were caked in blood. His face was pale and a large gash ran the length of his forehead. Molly was hovering over him.
"Mum, please," Bill said, jerking away from Molly's hand as she prodded the wound. "It's been clean and will be fine in the morning if you will just let me rest."
"You okay, Bill?" Ginny asked timidly.
"Just fine, little sister," Bill said with a smile. "Just a small cut to the head. Really."
"I suggest we all leave him alone for now," Moody said. "It's been a long evening."
Molly smoothed Bill's hair back and straightened up. "I have dinner on the stove."
"Food sounds wonderful, Molly," Moody said.
Snape politely declined and with a sneering glance at Lupin left. Tonks, Moody and Mundungus followed Arthur out of the room.
Hermione finally looked at Remus. He looked weary and Bill's blood had stained his robes. Raising his head, his eyes caught hers. Giving her a slight smile, she felt his melancholy and guilt and she longed to give him a hug, but was ushered out of the room by Mrs. Weasley.
"To bed now," Molly said, her tone letting them know there was no use arguing. "No more sneaking about."
****
Remus poured another cup of coffee and sat staring at the fire. He resisted the urge to find Dung's stash of whiskey and lace the coffee. Rubbing his forehead, he sighed heavily.
Severus was right-- he had almost blown it. He had allowed his emotions to overrule his common sense.
It had been so simple. Severus had brought word that there was to be an attack on Daniel Lecher, a wealthy wizard who had supported Voldemort before the fateful day at the Potters. The man had claimed he was reformed and when Voldemort had returned he had refused to support the Dark Lord's cause. Remus, Bill, Moody and Kingsley were to help defend the Lechers. Remus' part was to keep Severus busy with a feigned duel to keep the other Death Eaters from growing suspicious.
They had arrived at the Lecher's mansion to a furious battle between the Lechers and six Death Eaters. Remus had spotted Severus immediately and had been ready to start their duel when he heard it. A Death Eater was casting the killing curse and he watched mesmerized as a young woman, the Lecher's daughter, fell when the green light hit her. The high cackle of the masked Death Eater flowed over Remus, as did a murderous rage. Lestrange. Ignoring Severus' hiss, Remus had leapt over the fallen girl and had taken off after Bellatrix.
He had chased her up the massive stone stairway, dodging her spells as he had tried to stun her. In the long hallway, Remus had caught her with the Expelliarmus charm and her wand had flown into his hand. Finally Remus had her cornered in a small bedroom where a crying toddler sat in the middle of an ornate crib. She had grabbed the child and ran out onto the balcony.
Bellatrix had held the child's neck between her hands, daring Remus to come closer. In the end he had to toss her wand to her. With a wild laugh, Bellatrix had thrown the child over the railing and appartaed. He had barely cast the spell to slow the toddler's fall in time. The child had received a broken leg but was alive.
He had ran back downstairs to find the other Death Eaters had Apparated and Bill bleeding heavily from a deep cut to the forehead. He had hit the sharp corner of the fireplace's mantel when Severus had hit him with a spell.
Never had Remus allowed his emotions to get in the way as he had tonight. When Bellatrix had killed the young woman, his mind filled with rage. Visions of Sirius' fall had flooded his mind and his single thought was to capture the woman who had killed him.
Thanks to his recklessness, he had endangered the toddler, caused Bill to get injured and allowed the Death Eaters to escape. Sighing, Remus stared into the fire.
****
She found him there, sitting at the kitchen table alone, just as she had months ago. Hermione had not been able to go to sleep, feeling Remus' distress. After Ginny had fallen to sleep, Hermione had crept downstairs to try to find him. It seemed she was drawn straight to the underground kitchen. His eyes met hers and in moments he had her in his arms. Crushing her tightly against his chest, Remus clung to her like a drowning man to a life preserver.
