Don't Do Stupid Things

A/N: if you like Tsubame, don't read this chapter, if you don't like Tsubame, read this, and if you just flat out don't care, read it, or don't, the choice is yours…Darn it… But those of you who do read this…please be proud of me… I listened to Britney Spears song "hit me baby one more time" 5 times for the first part of this story…

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or the song hit me baby one more time or the girl named Siye…although, I would like to own Rurouni Kenshin…

Stupid act numero uno: Tsubame… dies…

"I must confess…"

My name is Tsubame.

"That my loneliness…"

I am 17 years old, going on 18.

"Is killing me now…"

I work at the akabeko for money…

"Don't you no I still believe…"

Because girls need to make a living, too!

"That you will be here…"

But, here I am, walking to the akabeko…

"Give me a sign…"

With a bunch of people…

"Hit me baby one more time…"

And lucky me… when I said that, someone hit me… literally…

"Umm… excuse me, sir… When I said 'hit me baby one more time', I didn't mean literally 'hit me'…" I explained to the man. He replied with a grunt. "That's ok, I get that a lot…" I muttered back to him.

Anyway, I eventually made it to the akabeko, just to be greeted with another pleasantry: Yahiko with his potential wife, or, if my wishes come true, soon- to- be- dead potential wife…oops! Bad thought… bad me…Well, either way, her name was Siye. Personally, I think she's lied about all those stories, I mean, who could lose their mother, sister, and father in a matter of weeks? And, to top it all off, she was taken away and forced to marry a guy against her will? It's all a load of hoo-hah to me…oops… bad thoughts… bad thoughts…

"Hey, Tsubame, you're not gonna earn any money just standing around. Go serve that guy over there." Tae (?) said, pointing towards the corner that was conveniently dark, which fit the guy perfectly, because he was wearing all black, even his hair was black… or dark brown… I can't tell from here. "Right away." I replied, grabbing a tray. I approached carefully, because this guy looked…uh… kind of scary.

"Ah, excuse me, may I take your order?" I asked trying not to sound scared, but I think he noticed, cause I heard people who are dressed in black can usually smell fear. "Yeah, you may." He answered in the eeriest tone of voice I have ever heard. " What may it be?" I asked with the sweetest tone of voice I could conjure up. "You." Was all he said before he grabbed me, muffled my screams with a…dirty old…sock…ewww… and sprinted out of the door. No one seemed to notice, because no one seemed to even try to come after me. Oh, how I wish Yahiko would come and save me…Dang Siye! How I wish she would die, then Yahiko could set all of his attention on me…oops! Bad thoughts… gotta get those out of my head.

We were traveling for a good hour or so (my sides hurt like crup {crup: a cross between crap and crud} cause he was carrying me the whole time), before he finally stop and put me down at a place that look like it belonged to a king, which it probably did. "Wow…" was all I could say. "This is my home; I rule over this land. And if anyone disobeys me, they get 'the guillotine of death'." He explained plaintively, before taking his mask thing of the bottom half of his face. All's I could do was stare in awe. He had the most gorgeous face I have ever seen, a more gorgeous face than even Yahiko. But, that was just me.

That night, after he had taken me to his castle, got me room to stay in, proposed that I have to be his queen, and umm… wait- that was it, while we were eating dinner, he told me the most twisted thing in my mind that could happen. "Can you keep a secret?" was what he first asked, and I shook my head yes. "Tomorrow, I am going to launch an attack on my own country, and blame it on Tokyo." And in response, I just stared, with my mouth wide open, as my food slowly fell out of my mouth. And here I am now, in bed thinking I should tell all those poor people about the governor, or king…whatever! So, that's what I am going to do. Everybody should still be up, since it's only 8:13.

So, I did. I found the thing that signals that the king… governor… person… needs an emergency meeting. Within 15 minutes, everyone was gathered there, though, it wasn't a lot of people, at least a grand total of about 400 people. "People of this…town…yeah…," is what I started out with, "Your… Town… is in great danger! Your king is going to double cross you! He's-" I was cut off my a large tug at my night gown. "You double crosser!" The governor said, enraged. "TO THE GUILLOTINE!!" When he said that, one thing went through my mind:

Britney Spears.

I don't know why. Maybe she's going to be a really famous singer in the future. Maybe her first big hit would be that song I was singing this morning. Maybe a million people will love her because of her first album. Maybe people will start having second thoughts about her after her second or third one.

Nah.

Anyway, back to the big issue. I'm about to die. I think I led a pretty good life. I mean, I met Yahiko. We seemed to like each other. Until Siye showed up. Just because she saved him from dying in the river because of that dumb army…policeman…guy…doesn't mean that they'd fall in love and be together for the rest of their lives…hoping that hers ends soon so Yahiko can come to me and say something like 'Tsubame, I was wrong to fall for her! This whole time, I was chasing after the wrong person! Tsubame, you're the one I truly love!!' Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, a voice came. It said:

"TSUBAME. I AM THE AUTHERESS. I HAVE TO ASK YOU SOMETHING."

Yes, go ahead.

"YOU'VE HAD TIME TO PLAN THIS OUT, HAVEN'T YOU?"

…Yes.

"JUST CHECKING."

O.K! Bye!

"YEAH, WHATEVER."

Well, here I am, with my head in the guillotine neck holder place…with the dirty old sock in my mouth, again. Suddenly the President cut into my thoughts, saying, "People of this town! Count down with me!" Oh, great. I just remembered, I wasn't supposed to think bad thoughts!! "3…" here we go… "2…" Goodbye to all those people I have met in my life! "1!" Bye… "Good riddance."

TWO YEARS LATER

"Hey, Yahiko. You want to go to that new 'museum of heads' today?" Siye asked. "Sure." Yahiko answered. So, the couple headed out to the 'museum of heads. When they got there, of course, they looked around, until they came upon a familiar looking head. "Doesn't that remind you of that girl named 'Tsunami' or whatever?" Siye asked. Yahiko replied with a "Who?" "Do you think these heads are real?" the young woman asked. "Nah. Most likely made of wax." The young man replied as they walked away.

A/N: well, there you go, the first chapter to don't do stupid things. Hope you all liked it! Oh, and to learn more about Siye, go and read Turn of the Tides, its really good. It might not be updated or stuff for a while, but its really good. Anyway, the next chapter is about why choir is spelt C-H-O-I-R, and y it should've been spelt Q-W-I-R-E. at least, why I think it that way. But for that, I want at least 4 interviews, and not by the same person over and over again. Well, TTFN! TA TA for now!