DISCLAIMER: Naruto is not mine. It is Masashi Kishimoto's. That it is.
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Itachi bit into his Uchiha-bratwurst as he looked out the window at the big blue sky. Yes. Itachi is eating an Uchiha-bratwurst. Wtf?! you ask. What's an Uchiha-bratwurst?
Well, you see, Itachi killed the entire Uchiha clan, as you know, and do you know WHY he did this? Well, it's not the reason you think he did. The true reason is that he wanted to make delicious Uchiha-bratwursts out of them. Mmm. This particular one was his uncle. Silly cannibal Itachi! Eating his own uncle in hot dog format!
As Itachi sat there at his window, with the breeze practically attacking his hair overdramatically like Tohru's hair on the Ritsu episode of Fruits Basket, the phone rang. At the speed of fft, Itachi scampered to answer it. "HELLO?!" Itachi asked the freak phone in his freak Itachi voice.
"I NEED HEEELP!" screamed some random old lady on the other end. "SAVE US!" Itachi nodded. "I'm on it!" he yelled into the phone.
Somehow magically knowing where the caller was, Itachi decided it was time to go. With blaring GO GO POWER RANGERS music in the background, he scampered into a nearby conveniently-located phonebooth, spun around a few times, and PRESTO! Came out wearing nothing more than blood-red boxers and a big black cape. "It is I.......SUPERGOTH! And I am here to save the day!"
Not caring that he looked like...um...a freak, Itachi scampered outside, cape flowing behind him. Some random Itachi fangirl screamed "HEY LOOK HE'S SHIRTLESS!" Obviously that caused a whole mob of crazy Itachi fangirls to huddle around our hero, the SuperGoth. "Out of my way fools! I, SUPERGOTH, have to hurry to save that helpless old lady who called me on the phone!" and with that, he pushed all the rabid fangirls away and scampered off. Oh how Itachi loves to scamper.
And so, Itachi---
Itachi: HEY!
Narrator: What do you want, Bratwurst Boy?
Itachi: From now on, you don't call me Itachi! You call me...SUPERGOTH!
Narrator: Why?
Itachi: Because. I'm wearing blood-red boxers and a big black cape.
Narrator: ...okay. O.o
ANYWAYS, like I was saying...
And so, SUPERGOTH continued on his journey. "I must save that old lady!" he said as he scampered across the ninja...um...countryside.
"Hey!" a rabid Itachi fangirl said as she halted the Uchiha-bratwurst-eater to a skreeking stop. "Why the hell are you going off to save some old lady? It makes me mad! I fell madly in love with you cuz you're evil! BE EVIL!"
But SUPERGOTH just blinked. He had an old lady to save! "No no no. Not now. Out of my way. I'll be evil after I'm done saving the old lady."
"WHY?!" shrieked the girl.
"Because I have a freak sexual attraction to old ladies." SUPERGOTH said with a freak smirk. And he scampered away.
"You're offending all of us Itachi fans!" the girl shouted at the SUPERGOTH who was disappearing into the distance.
Onward SUPERGOTH scampered. Til eventually he came to Konohagakure Village. "I'm heeeeeeeeeeeeeere to save you Granny! Marry me when I'm done! Then I'll go back to being some freak evil dude! And we can have a happy Granny/Itachi marriage!" shouted SUPERGOTH.
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Val: Yes, I know, this is weird and stupid but oh well I was bored. Review peez. This story is actually about Sasuke. YOU'LL SEE. Now just review it and be happy. Perhaps I'll continue later today. Or tomorrow. Or the day after that.
Itachi: *is tied to a post* I don't want to be here anymore! You're making me look like a fool!
Val: S'okay, we lurve you anyhoo. *pats itachi on head* It doesn't matter. You're not the main character in this story, Bratwurst Boy.
Itachi: ....good..
Val: Heee.
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Itachi bit into his Uchiha-bratwurst as he looked out the window at the big blue sky. Yes. Itachi is eating an Uchiha-bratwurst. Wtf?! you ask. What's an Uchiha-bratwurst?
Well, you see, Itachi killed the entire Uchiha clan, as you know, and do you know WHY he did this? Well, it's not the reason you think he did. The true reason is that he wanted to make delicious Uchiha-bratwursts out of them. Mmm. This particular one was his uncle. Silly cannibal Itachi! Eating his own uncle in hot dog format!
As Itachi sat there at his window, with the breeze practically attacking his hair overdramatically like Tohru's hair on the Ritsu episode of Fruits Basket, the phone rang. At the speed of fft, Itachi scampered to answer it. "HELLO?!" Itachi asked the freak phone in his freak Itachi voice.
"I NEED HEEELP!" screamed some random old lady on the other end. "SAVE US!" Itachi nodded. "I'm on it!" he yelled into the phone.
Somehow magically knowing where the caller was, Itachi decided it was time to go. With blaring GO GO POWER RANGERS music in the background, he scampered into a nearby conveniently-located phonebooth, spun around a few times, and PRESTO! Came out wearing nothing more than blood-red boxers and a big black cape. "It is I.......SUPERGOTH! And I am here to save the day!"
Not caring that he looked like...um...a freak, Itachi scampered outside, cape flowing behind him. Some random Itachi fangirl screamed "HEY LOOK HE'S SHIRTLESS!" Obviously that caused a whole mob of crazy Itachi fangirls to huddle around our hero, the SuperGoth. "Out of my way fools! I, SUPERGOTH, have to hurry to save that helpless old lady who called me on the phone!" and with that, he pushed all the rabid fangirls away and scampered off. Oh how Itachi loves to scamper.
And so, Itachi---
Itachi: HEY!
Narrator: What do you want, Bratwurst Boy?
Itachi: From now on, you don't call me Itachi! You call me...SUPERGOTH!
Narrator: Why?
Itachi: Because. I'm wearing blood-red boxers and a big black cape.
Narrator: ...okay. O.o
ANYWAYS, like I was saying...
And so, SUPERGOTH continued on his journey. "I must save that old lady!" he said as he scampered across the ninja...um...countryside.
"Hey!" a rabid Itachi fangirl said as she halted the Uchiha-bratwurst-eater to a skreeking stop. "Why the hell are you going off to save some old lady? It makes me mad! I fell madly in love with you cuz you're evil! BE EVIL!"
But SUPERGOTH just blinked. He had an old lady to save! "No no no. Not now. Out of my way. I'll be evil after I'm done saving the old lady."
"WHY?!" shrieked the girl.
"Because I have a freak sexual attraction to old ladies." SUPERGOTH said with a freak smirk. And he scampered away.
"You're offending all of us Itachi fans!" the girl shouted at the SUPERGOTH who was disappearing into the distance.
Onward SUPERGOTH scampered. Til eventually he came to Konohagakure Village. "I'm heeeeeeeeeeeeeere to save you Granny! Marry me when I'm done! Then I'll go back to being some freak evil dude! And we can have a happy Granny/Itachi marriage!" shouted SUPERGOTH.
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Val: Yes, I know, this is weird and stupid but oh well I was bored. Review peez. This story is actually about Sasuke. YOU'LL SEE. Now just review it and be happy. Perhaps I'll continue later today. Or tomorrow. Or the day after that.
Itachi: *is tied to a post* I don't want to be here anymore! You're making me look like a fool!
Val: S'okay, we lurve you anyhoo. *pats itachi on head* It doesn't matter. You're not the main character in this story, Bratwurst Boy.
Itachi: ....good..
Val: Heee.
