Disclaimer: All characters and places in the Harry Potter universe belong to J.K. Rowling – I own none of them, I simply play with them.
Chapter Five
"My gorgeous Pans." Draco dropped a kiss on Pansy's cheek and sidled up next to her in the common room. "What are you still doing up?"
"Darling," she grinned at him. "Couldn't sleep. Went downstairs and got the house elves to get me some warm milk..." she gestured a perfectly manicured hand towards the mug that lay on the table in front of them. "You?"
"Actually," Draco hesitated. "I wanted to talk to you about that. I've... I've been talking to someone. Just recently. And, tonight, we... well, we sort of, I don't know... but I think we might..."
"Oh, spit it out!" Pansy teased, poking him in the ribs. "Who is this person you've been talking too?"
"That's what I'm worried about telling you," Draco blushed, taking hold of her hand and studying her nail polish. "You've got a tiny chip on your forefinger." Snatching her hand out of his grasp, Pansy demanded –
"Draco Malfoy, you tell me right this instant. You know you can tell me anything – I'm disappointed you didn't tell me sooner!"
"Okay, okay," he laughed, but was careful to avoid eye contact with her. "She's – "
"It's a 'she'? Do you like her? Are you going out?"
"Pansy, please, just... you said you'd listen. I want to explain it."
"Sorry," she said quickly . "Go on."
"She's the last person you would expect. I go up to the Astronomy Tower at night sometimes... well, quite often actually, and she's up there. And I tell her things... well, I've only spoken to her a couple of times but..." Draco shrugged. "I think... I think I like her, Pansy."
A flicker of emotion passed over Pansy's face briefly. "Well, that's all fine and lovely, but who is she? Is she Slytherin?"
"No."
"Oh Merlin, Draco, please tell me it's not a Gryffindor!"
"It's not a Gryffindor," he laughed, punching Pansy playfully on the shoulder. "Please! I have better taste than that!"
"Okay," she grinned. "Ravenclaw?"
Draco nodded, trying to stop the smile that was tugging in the corner of his mouth. She'd never be able to guess.
"Right. A Ravenclaw... Padma Patil?"
"Nope."
"Cho Chang? No, wait, she left last year... um... oh, I give up. Tell me."
Draco looked down at his hands. "Luna Lovegood."
Five seconds passed – although it felt like an age – and Pansy had said nothing.
"Luna?" she finally choked – Draco looked up, her eyes were bulging and her hand fluttered up to her throat like it always did when she was anxious.
"Yeah."
"Loony Lovegood? Loony fucking Luna? The sixth year freak with possibly the most horrendous jewellery in history?"
Draco recoiled like he'd just been slapped. That stung. "Hey," he said angrily. "When have you ever spoken to her, Pansy? When have you ever taken the time to get to know her so you can make those judgements?"
"Draco! Do you know who her father is?" Pansy said, throwing her hands up in exasperation.
"Do you know who my father is, Pansy? He's a fucking alcoholic who gets his kicks out of beating the shit out of his family! If you judge people on who their father is then you shouldn't be friends with me."
"But he's the editor of the Quibbler for Merlin's sake!"
"AND MINE'S A DEATH EATER! WHICH IS WORSE?"
Pansy clamped her mouth shut and her eyes filled with tears. Blinking them away angrily and folding her arms, she stood up.
"This isn't the Draco I always knew," she whispered furiously. "The Draco I knew wouldn't touch some stupid sixth grader with a six foot pole."
"Pansy, why can't you see how narrow minded and pathetic that attitude is?" Draco sighed, putting his head in his hands.
"Because that's what we are Draco! We're supposed to take the piss out of those less fortunate, hate Muggle-borns, tease Gryffindors... it's who we are! It's who you and I have always been!"
"Yeah? Well maybe I don't like who I've always been."
"How can you say that?" Pansy's eyebrows were knitted in genuine confusion and she shook her head in disbelief. Draco looked at her and laughed.
"Pansy... look, never mind. Just keep this to yourself, alright?"
Pansy shot him one more dagger-fuelled look at stormed up the stairs of the girls'dormitory. Draco sighed wearily – this was a classical example of the side of Pansy he hated. She had such little perspective – her parents told her what views and opinions she should have, and she just accepted it. Draco wasn't like that. He wouldn't accept the fact that he had a stereotype to fill and he should fill it. And he never would.
~*~
"I told Pansy."
"Told Pansy what?"
"About... that you're... well, that we..."
"Oh. I see. And?"
"She went mad."
"Oh. Why?"
Draco sighed and sat down on the stone cold floor, too drained of energy to transfigure anything. Luna joined him, pulling her knees up to her chest and resting her head on them.
"Pansy is a model Pureblood Slytherin. A model daughter. She was raised with the attitude that anyone different to herself and others of her status isn't worth it... and sometimes I think she really believes it, other times she says and does things that makes me think again. She's not stupid – I mean, her grades don't say much because she's lazy, she knows she'll always have enough money to never have to work, but she's very intelligent in other ways. She's actually a very private person underneath it all... I don't know whether she meant what she said last night, but she was basically just annoyed because... well, because..."
"I'm Loony Luna Lovegood?" Luna smiled and laughed a little.
"Basically," Draco winced. "I know that makes her sound awful, but she's not, she's very loving and kind and caring really, she's just... she accepts the things she's been told to believe and acts upon them. Even if she thought it was fine that I... that we, you know..." Draco blushed scarlet – what exactly were they?
"Yeah," Luna said quickly, seeing his embarrassment.
"... then she still would've told me it wasn't, because she accepts things... she is who her parents and society want her to be."
Luna nodded. "I guess I can understand that," she said slowly. "What are you going to do about it?"
"I don't know," Draco said honestly. "She'll come round. She always does. She has an awful temper, but we're always all right in the end." He bit his lip and hung his head. "I just hope she doesn't feel as strongly about this as she made out."
"And if she does?"
Then what? He didn't know. Pansy was his best friend, he couldn't imagine living without her and having to rely upon the infrequent grunting of Crabbe and Goyle to keep him sane. He couldn't imagine not sitting with her at meal times, not having long conversations every night about what they'd done that day, not having her run to him excitedly whenever she'd received a new set of robes or some new jewellery to show off, not making wild plans with each other about their future and what they were hoped to do with their lives, their aspirations and dreams... He took a deep breath, and whispered –
"If she does then..."
Something made him look up at Luna – he was almost taken aback by her expression. A small frown knitted her brows together, she was biting her lip anxiously and her expression was almost one of hurt... she cared. This girl really cared about whether or not they could be together... and so did he. What am I doing? Pansy'll come round, I know she will... I can't throw this away...
"If she does then I'll just have to change her mind," he said confidently, smiling at Luna and brushing a rouge strand of hair from her eyes, letting his fingers linger on her face for a second longer than necessary. Her face broke into a smile and she took hold of his hand and brought it down in front of her, blushing slightly and not really knowing what to do next.
Draco didn't give her long to contemplate that problem. He entwined his fingers through hers and pulled her towards him with a sharp tug.
"Hey!" Luna laughed, falling towards him, her face coming heart-stoppingly close to his. He grinned down at her – she was a good few inches shorter than him – and brought her hand up to his mouth, pressing his lips gently against her knuckles, his eyes never leaving hers.
"What did you do today?" he whispered, not letting go of her hand.
"Not much," she smiled, shrugging, and looked away. "Got hassled by Zabini again, but hey, that's nothing new."
The hairs on the back of Draco's neck bristled. "What?" he shot, eyes narrowing.
"Zabini..." Luna said slowly. "I... I seem to be a favourite target of his. I assumed you knew, being in his House and everything."
"No, I didn't know," Draco said quietly. "What does he do?"
Luna shrugged again. "Takes the piss. I think he was the founder of my pet name actually... Loony Lovegood. Goes on about my mum a lot."
"What does he say about your mum?" Draco said weakly, his stomach tying itself into knots.
"That she was probably just as freaky as me..." Luna stared at the ground, squeezing her eyes shut, praying she wouldn't cry again. "That she deserved to die, that my family is a disgrace to the Pureblood reputation and the fewer of us the better."
Draco's mouth hung open in shock. He knew Zabini was an evil bastard, but even he hadn't stooped that low with Potter... he didn't think. He felt his blood boiling and a strong surge of protectiveness rush through him.
"That fucker," he cursed, dropping Luna's hand and turning around so his back was to her. "That son of a – "
"No, Draco, please, it's okay." Luna put her hand on Draco's shoulder and pulled on it a little to try to get him to turn around.
"No, it's not okay," Draco growled, facing her again. "I'm going to fucking kill him."
"No, no!" Luna shook her head furiously. "I don't want you getting in trouble! Look, I'm used to it. I get it all the time, day in day out, and worse. I didn't need your protection then, and I don't need it now," she paused for a breath, looking Draco straight in the eye. "Please. I appreciate it and everything, but promise me you won't say anything to him?"
"I promise," Draco said through gritted teeth.
His fingers were crossed behind his back.
"Okay," she smiled a little. "So, um, what did you do today?"
"Not much," Draco said, still irked by what Luna had told him. "Studied. Lessons..." he caught her eye and looked away again quickly, softening up a little. "Thought about you a bit."
"Oh?" Luna said, a coy smile spreading across her face. She took a step towards him so they were barely touching. "What did you think?"
"Everything," Draco murmured, putting his arms around her waist and pulling her towards him, the impact of her groin pressing against his sending a delicious thrill all over his body.
"Like what?" she whispered back, her face so near to his he could feel her breath on his face.
"About how beautiful you are," he said throatily, wanting so much to kiss her that it hurt.
"Hmm.…" she smiled softly, and turned her head sideways. Ever so gently, she pressed her lips onto his neck. The skin underneath her touch quivered and a violent shiver shot up his spine causing him to close his eyes briefly.
"Thank you," he said, but he could barely hear himself through the blood pulsating in his eardrums.
Luna looked up at him and smiled, running her hand tentatively up his back. Draco actually thought his entire body was about to convulse underneath her gentle hands... he'd never been touched in this way. The only meaningful human touch he'd experienced had been abusive hits, punches or kicks from his father, and the occasional hug from Pansy, but this was nothing like a hug. This was tender and soft and.… amazing.
He moved his face towards hers, heart beating so wildly he thought it was going to explode. She reciprocated his intention and his lips covered hers in an explosion of wonderful sensation that made his lips feel as if they were on fire. The entire world around him dissolved and time seemed to stand still as their mouths began to move in synch, slowly at first, then with more passion and urgency. This was unlike anything he had ever experienced before – different to the awkward kisses with Pansy when they had been in just their early teens, different to the sloppy mouthed kisses he'd had with various Slytherin girls at common room parties... this was incredible. It was a real kiss. His hand slid up Luna's back and into her hair, he curled his fingers on the nape of her neck and felt her shiver slightly beneath his touch. His other hand lay on her waist, pulling her further into him, soon her entire body pressed against his, taking him to dizzying heights. His entire abdomen area throbbed and a small moan escaped him, causing Luna to break away. Her face was inches from his – he drank every detail in, from the shape of her parted, damp limps, to the tiny moon-shaped scar she had on her left cheek bone. She looked at him just as intensely, both breathing slightly harder than normal.
"I'm so glad I found you," he thought out loud, immediately realising what he'd said, blushing and looking away with a slight grin on his face.
"You're not too bad yourself," Luna grinned back, nuzzling into his neck and causing Draco to shiver compulsively. She smiled to herself and laid her head on his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist and squeezing him tightly.
"You trying to squeeze me to death now?" he teased, kissing the top of her head. He felt her laugh into him, her warm breath penetrating his thin shirt.
They stood like that, in the drafty Astronomy Tower, holding each other, for over an hour before they decided they should leave, although it passed quickly. It was possibly the best hour of Draco's life, he savoured every second, feeling the rise and fall of her chest, listening to her steady breathing. This was the touch of someone who wasn't going to beat him, wouldn't thump or kick him... this was human contact which wasn't violent or abusive or hurtful, and it was incredible. Every so often Luna would shiver a little, and Draco would ask her if she was too cold or needed to go back, but she never did.
