MissBehavin–Okita spazz at his big sister??? heaven forbid

Angrybee–Now now Miss Okita is simply a free spirited woman ahead of her time. She wouldn't really do anything to hurt her baby bro...I figure that since Hijikata was rumored to be a ladies' man I'd toss out the first lady whose man he might have been once upon a time at the Shieken Dojo.  *eg*

Shiranai‑Kyuri –It's okay, really, see above. :-)

Again with the boring disclaimer thing—I own nothing to do with Rurouni Kenshin, Peace Maker Kurogane or anything of importance, though I will lay claim to Aneko Okita. Miss Behavin on the other hand is holding out big time--not ;-D

The Mibu Times -Dispatch

by

BarbaraSheridan and MissBehavin

Vol 11

Front Page Ad:

We at the Ikeda-ya Inn would like to thank the many, many, many patrons who came last Thursday night to view the extraordinary show put on by the Yamakita Sisters. While we are currently negotiating to have them perform again during  upcoming Gion Festival we cannot guarantee anything as they perform singly as well as a team and both appear to have prior bookings already set elsewhere both here in Kyoto and back in Edo.

Now that you've had a chance to sample the fine fare we at the Ikeda-ya have to offer (as opposed to that vile little hole in the wall they call the Aoiya) we hope you'll visit us again for your dining and entertainment pleasure and don't forget to tell your out of town friends and relatives about our special rates for festival goers from the Choshu and Tosa areas.

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Entertainment Review

by

Harada Sanosuke

"No freakin' way, Shinpachi!" Is what this columnist said to his closest friend when invited to spend a few off duty hours at that Kami-forsaken little roach motel called the Ikeda-ya. Was I ever wrong and was I ever glad that Shinpachi put on that cute little pouty face of his to get me to change my mind.

Let me tell you, the show we saw from the masked dancing babes billed as the Yamakita Sisters was beyond belief!!!!! These girls were hotter than Mt. Fuji after an eruption and their "peaks" were better formed than anything Mt. Hiei has to offer! And let me tell you,  their Southern Hemispheres were enough to die for.....

The things they did with those fans was indescribable and while I'm not one to brag I've been with plenty of "flexible" women but let me tell you, the taller sister ( I think her name was Ani ) could kick higher and lift her legs into positions that did not seem humanly possible while wearing 3 inch single platform geta.

I've only ever seen one person come close to performing a feat like that, but let's face it, as cute as Souji is he ain't no hot to trot dancing babe. *wink*

Apparently the Yamakita sisters hail from some club back in Edo and I know if I find myself down that way I'll be looking them up and suggest you do the same.....

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Announcement from the Editor:

I hope you'll all join me in welcoming back from vacation Yamazaki Ayu-nee.  Ayu-nee is looking quite vibrant again and assures me that she's eager and ready to start feeding you men the hearty meals you've been desiring while she was away.

As you see her in the compound or in the mess hall I'm sure I can count on you all to give her a warm welcome back and let her know just how much we appreciate her.

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Official Notice:

ALL Shinsengumi members are reminded to look at their employee handbooks, particularly the section covering meal and break times. Each squad captain has been given new meal/break schedules to reflect the recent patrol shift changes. 

MEAL BREAKS ARE TO BE TAKEN AT SPECIFIED INTERVALS and ONLY by the units indicated. EVERYONE CANNOT take their meal break at once or at the same location simply because it's convenient or in the case of the events of last Thursday a "fun place" to eat.

Furthermore the Ikeda-ya is OFF LIMITS to Shinsengumi Personnel effective Immediately.

Although we can't yet prove anything we "know" it's a haven for the Choshu Scum and you all are perfectly aware that they would like nothing better than to have us all gathered in proximity to do us bodily harm.

-----Hijikata

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In Local News:

The First Squad under the command of Captain Okita Souji was nearly ambushed by a group of assassins purportedly led by the one who calls himself the Hitokiri Battousai. The skirmish was a difficult one with heavy losses on both sides but luckily the tide turned in our favor with the chance arrival of Vice-Chief Hijikata Toshizou and Miss Okita Aneko.  The vice chief dispatched several of the lowly scum with his fabled Hirotzuki and Miss Okita bravely engaged the alleged Battousai in hand to hand combat going so far as to inflict  rather sizable gashes on his cheek and head with her iron fan  as well as some damage to his ribs and limbs via her impressive kenpo attack  which sent him scurrying for cover like the pathetic little effeminate coward that he is.

Evidently, the Vice Chief  and Miss Okita had been looking for the patrolling Captain Okita to administer the cough remedy he had forgotten to take before starting his nightly patrol.

In typical good humor Captain Okita was quoted as saying, "Now this proves to Chief Kondou that forgetfulness isn't such a  bad thing."

When questioned about her fighting prowess Miss Okita said, "It was nothing, just a bit of this and a touch of that which I managed to pick up from tutoring the boys back at the old Shieken Dojo and the sweet young lads I've been working with recently  at Edo Castle."

When asked why she would thrust herself into such a dangerous situation armed with nothing but her own quick reflexes and a fighting fan Miss Okita looked to Captain Okita and said proudly, "No one tries to hurt my baby brother and gets away with it."

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Official Notice:

To put an end to the flurry of needless paperwork flooding our inboxes Vice-Chief Hijikata and I would like to inform you all that NO TRANSFERS TO THE EDO AREA ARE POSSIBLE. And NO YOU MAY NOT quit your position here and enlist in the Edo Castle Oniwabanshu Guard.

You are reminded to reread Article Two of the Shinsengumi Code and to visit the resting places of former members Yamanami, Itou and Toudou to make the consequences clear.

---Kondou and Hijikata

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In Local News:

A vandal or vandals struck last night in the Mibu area painting defamatory remarks against the Shinsengumi on various walls and storefronts. Examples of the cryptic graffiti were:

Pick on me and I'll tell my sister!

My sister has bigger balls than all the Mibu Wolves combined.

You call me effemiinate but I didn't win a beauty pageant, Captain Okita.

A reward leading to the arrest and execution of the perpetrator(s) is available, inquire Shinsengumi Headquarters, Mibu.

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Announcement from Ayu-nee:

Jsut a note to let you all know that I'd be happy to spend some wholesome free time with you while the ban on Shimabara is in effect. Like Aneko-dono I'm available for anything to help pass the time with you--a talk, a walk, a game of shogi--one on one or two or three on one. Feel free to stop by the kitchens or my room any time of the day or night.

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Full Page Personal Ad:

To the red-headed ahou:

I do believe that YOU were the one who had his/her/its SCRAWNY ASS KICKED by a GIRL!!!

----Hajime

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Reminder:

Ayu-nee and I will be going to the marketplace tomorrow If any of you gentlemen who are on duty have anything you'd like us to purchase for you while we're out please do let us know. So far we've a list with such things as candles, iron nails and rope.

Okita Aneko