A/N: The song I used in this chapter is "Everything" by Lifehouse.
Whoa...short A/N today! Haha Oh, and no, this is not the last chapter.
So don't worry. There will be more! And this probably the most shocking
chapter EVER!! Lol hehe
************
'Find me here
and speak to me'
My seat was just across the aisle from Shane's and despite our silence, I was happy to have him there. He was like my safety blanket. I knew I could always lean on him if I needed to. That's how I decided that I needed to tell him about Jeff and I.
"Shane, can I talk to you?" I asked closing my Glamour magazine. He looked up from his Alias comic and smiled at me.
'I want to feel you
I need to hear you'
"Of course. What's on your mind Angel?" he replied.
"Wouldn't you say I tried everything in my power to make my relationship with Jeff work?" I questioned.
"Of course! Hell, you quit your job and stopped speaking to your friends for him. I would say you went to the extreme on that one."
"Then why would he break up with me?!" I began to cry. Shane's face fell as I leaned over the arm of the seat and sobbed. He unhooked his seatbelt and climbed over to me so he could sit in the empty seat next to me.
'You are the light
that's leading me'
"Oh sweetie, I don't know. I can't answer that. Did you ask him?"
"He just went into all this shit about not being able to work for our relationship anymore. And how we made better friends than a couple. What have I done to deserve this?!" I cried on his shoulder.
"You haven't done anything! It's all him. You don't deserve that!"
"That's not even the worst part of it all."
"What is?"
'To the place
where I find peace again'
"He and Beth are in love again."
"Oh I'm so sorry. So how are you dealing?"
'You are the strength
that keeps me walking'
"I'm talking to you....Shane, I'm so, God, I've never been so hurt. Now I know how you felt! I'm so sorry to have put you through all that pain."
"Don't worry a thing about it. Everyone gets hurt at least once. But back to you. You're not living there, are you? Do you need someplace? Cause you could move back in with me."
"No, I'm fine. I found an apartment in Raleigh," I replied. "So yeah, I'm on my own for the first time. I guess it had to happen sometime."
'You are the hope
that keeps me trusting'
"And you'll make it. Like you make it through everything. You're loved and that's all that matters."
"Yeah, I guess you're right, but it doesn't make it any easier to be without him. I thought I was going to marry him. I truly did. Where did I go wrong?"
"Probably the same place I went wrong," he sighed.
"What?"
'You are the life
to my soul'
"Do I deserve to have my fiancée break up with me?" he questioned, tears glistening in his eyes.
"Oh no. Shane, I'm so sorry. Here I am crying over losing Jeff when you lost your fiancée. I'm so stupid."
"No, no you're not. Don't say that. You didn't know. And I really wasn't going to tell you. But I had to tell someone. I was about to explode."
"Shane, you know I'm here for you. Whenever you need a shoulder to cry on, I'll be there."
"I know. Thank you. What would I do without you?"
'You are my purpose
you're everything'
"You'd be lost, just like I'd be lost without you," I smiled. "So what happened?"
"I had to get out of that house. So I did. I left for the whole day pretty much and when I came back, she was packing up all her stuff. She was gone. I couldn't say anything or do anything to stop her from leaving. She said she couldn't take it anymore. I hurt her in the worst possible way. God do I regret ever going to the Playboy Mansion."
"You really did love her, didn't you?"
"Yeah, and I'm pretty sure I loved her more than I loved you. Figure that one out!"
"Lately, I'm sure that's not hard to do."
"What?"
"Loving someone more than me. If Jeff can do it, so can you."
"Don't believe that. You're a great girl. Up until Shannon, I didn't think I would ever love anyone again. And now, I'm sure I won't."
"Well, I love you."
"I love you too," his smile was infectious and I laid my head on his shoulder for the rest of flight.
***********
'And how can I
stand here with you'
As I stood in line with Shane at the Subway, I felt like it was old times. I didn't have a boyfriend to worry about, all I needed to do was worry about me. I had been dating around for a month and felt free. Nothing serious had come out of any of it. Although, feelings I had for Randy, were slowly coming back.
Shane was still feeling the affects of his breakup with Shannon, but then again, he did see her 5 days a week due to work. Vince was unwilling to make any changes and Shane just took it. I guess he was trying to look stronger than he was actually feeling. The only time I really saw him smile was when we were just messing around in the car on the way to arenas in different cities.
'And not be moved by you
would you tell me'
"It's like nothing's changed between them," Trish whispered to Shan as they sat in the backseat of the car. Shane and I sat in the front singing away wildly to whatever was on the radio.
"I know. Jeff's feeling really bad about what he did," Shan replied.
"He should! He just broke her apart."
"Personally I think she's better without him. He was just bein an ass about what she did to him. And yeah, maybe he did have a right to be cautious, but she was like a prisoner. Or at least she felt that way."
"I think both of them really just need each other right now. I mean Shannon was just being jealous. They just need to take a break from being in a serious relationship, ya know?"
"Yeah, well, rumor is around the locker room that Randy and Case are getting pretty close again."
"John's probably not too impressed, huh?"
"Actually, now that he's seeing that girl back in Massachusetts, he doesn't really care. He's actually kinda happy for them. But then again, he's just really close to Casey anyways, so why would he want to see her unhappy?" Shan said.
'How could it be
any better than this yeah'
"Rob again?!" I exclaimed after seeing the sheet of matches for the nite.
"What's the matter?" Randy asked walking up behind me.
"I've got a hardcore match against Rob again for the belt," I sighed.
"Sorry babe," Randy smiled.
"Nick is really getting tired of me coming out of these matches with injuries. I keep telling him that I'm trying to cut down on them, but how can I with the crowd cheering me on like that?!"
"Very true," Randy said. "Just be careful."
"I always try, but I never actually succeed," I laughed walking away to get ready for the nite.
'You calm the storms
and you give me rest'
"Hey, what's with the frown?" Shane asked passing me in the hall.
"Just the match I have."
"Rob again?" Shane laughed.
"Yeah," I chuckled. "Who you got?"
"I'm free tonite, if you can believe it," he said.
"Wow, leaving for the next town?"
"Nah, I'm waiting round for you, of course! Can't drive without my travel buddy!" he laughed. "Good luck sweetie."
"Thanks," I smiled watching walk away. I shook my head and kept walking.
****************
'You hold me in your hands
you won't let me fall'
This was it, I had finally made a decision in my life. I had to take a chance, and hell, if it didn't turn out how I wanted it to, I would survive, right? Definitely. 4 months without anybody to really hold you can have an affect on you in strange ways. And despite the rumors bout Randy and I, there was nothing going on. So I stood there in front of Shane's hotel room door, contemplating if I was doing the right/smart thing, or if I had just drank too much soda and the caffeine and sugar was getting to me.
"Come in!" I heard him yell to me.
"You don't check to see if it's some weirdo?" I asked walking in.
"No, but apparently I should if you're walking in here," he said crunching up his face.
'You still my heart
and you take my breath away'
I looked at him, sitting on the bed with his laptop, in his boxers. I laughed and walked towards him. I bit on my lip and smiled.
"So what's up?" he smiled pushing his computer to the side.
'Would you take me in
take me deeper now'
"Can I ask you a question?" I asked.
"Of course. Why is it that you always ask me if you can ask me a question? Why can't you just ASK me?" he laughed.
"I like bein difficult," I said, a sarcastic smile on my face. "But anyways. You wanna get married?"
"Well obviously!" he laughed.
'And how can I
stand here with you'
"No, maybe I didn't say this right," I said. "You wanna get married to me?"
"Well sure, why not?" he asked taking it as a joke.
"I'm serious."
"Are you on crack?"
"No, I'm completely sober, minus 4 liters of Cherry Coke."
"Well, sure. So in 5 years, if both of us are unmarried and single, we'll get married to each other," he smiled.
"No, I mean, right now, tonite, right here," I said.
"What?" he asked. I got down on my knee in front of him.
'And not be moved by you
would you tell me'
I took a deep breath and smiled as I pulled out my class ring. "Will you marry me?"
'How could it be
any better than this'
He looked at me, shaking his head slightly. A smile graced his face and he said, "Yes." Shocked, my eyes grew wide. He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly.
"You said yes?" I questioned.
"Yes, I said yes. I love you Casey. And I know I won't find anyone who I love more. I want to marry you. So we'll plan a big to do wedding and get married," he smiled.
"No, Shane, I don't want to wait. I don't want a big wedding. Not now anyways. I just want to marry you. I want to wake up with you every day. I want to be held by you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
'And how can I
stand here with you'
"What are you saying?"
"I want to get Amy, or Shannon, or Trish, or WHOEVER and go down to the town hall which is opened for another hour, I checked, and get married," I explained.
"Casey Lee Helms, you are insane!" he laughed.
"Helms? Does that mean yes?!"
"Well, DUH!" he laughed pulling me with him.
"Um, Shane, pants maybe?" I asked just as he swung the door open.
"Ah, yeah," he said grabbing whatever clothes he could.
'And not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this'
"I can't believe we're doing this," Shane smiled as we walked into Chicago's town hall.
"I can't either, actually," I laughed.
"Oh God! We made it!" Trish panted as she and Shannon ran up the steps behind us.
"We thought we might miss this," Shannon said trying to catch his breath. "Anyways, here." Shannon handed Shane three velvet boxes with a smile. Before we entered the hall, Shane stopped me and opened one of the boxes.
"Yeah, you may have asked me to marry you, but I feel that this is the right way to do things," Shane said dropping to his knee. "Casey, will you marry me?"
"You know it baby!" I smiled as he slipped the ring on my finger.
"Ya know, I almost expected you to say know. Must be out of habit," he laughed standing up. "Do you like the ring, cause we could get it changed later if you don't."
'Cause you're all I want
you're all I need
you're everything
everything'
"Shane, it's perfect," I smiled. "Thank you."
"No, thank you," he replied as we started filling out the papers needed.
I held Shane's hand and examined our rings. They fit perfectly. Both platinum bands, plain, nothing special about them. And my engagement ring, a platinum band with a small tear shaped diamond. And he wore my class ring on his pinky finger, although I'm almost positive that, that was because he couldn't get it off his finger in the first place. But the point to all this was, that we truly did love each other. True, maybe he wasn't my soul mate, but they never said that once you found your soul mate, you would marry them. Shane was just everything I needed. 'you're all I want you're all I need you're everything everything you're all I want you're all I need you're everything everything and how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you would you tell me how could it be any better than this and how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you would you tell me how could it be any better than this would you tell me how could it be any better than this'
************
'Find me here
and speak to me'
My seat was just across the aisle from Shane's and despite our silence, I was happy to have him there. He was like my safety blanket. I knew I could always lean on him if I needed to. That's how I decided that I needed to tell him about Jeff and I.
"Shane, can I talk to you?" I asked closing my Glamour magazine. He looked up from his Alias comic and smiled at me.
'I want to feel you
I need to hear you'
"Of course. What's on your mind Angel?" he replied.
"Wouldn't you say I tried everything in my power to make my relationship with Jeff work?" I questioned.
"Of course! Hell, you quit your job and stopped speaking to your friends for him. I would say you went to the extreme on that one."
"Then why would he break up with me?!" I began to cry. Shane's face fell as I leaned over the arm of the seat and sobbed. He unhooked his seatbelt and climbed over to me so he could sit in the empty seat next to me.
'You are the light
that's leading me'
"Oh sweetie, I don't know. I can't answer that. Did you ask him?"
"He just went into all this shit about not being able to work for our relationship anymore. And how we made better friends than a couple. What have I done to deserve this?!" I cried on his shoulder.
"You haven't done anything! It's all him. You don't deserve that!"
"That's not even the worst part of it all."
"What is?"
'To the place
where I find peace again'
"He and Beth are in love again."
"Oh I'm so sorry. So how are you dealing?"
'You are the strength
that keeps me walking'
"I'm talking to you....Shane, I'm so, God, I've never been so hurt. Now I know how you felt! I'm so sorry to have put you through all that pain."
"Don't worry a thing about it. Everyone gets hurt at least once. But back to you. You're not living there, are you? Do you need someplace? Cause you could move back in with me."
"No, I'm fine. I found an apartment in Raleigh," I replied. "So yeah, I'm on my own for the first time. I guess it had to happen sometime."
'You are the hope
that keeps me trusting'
"And you'll make it. Like you make it through everything. You're loved and that's all that matters."
"Yeah, I guess you're right, but it doesn't make it any easier to be without him. I thought I was going to marry him. I truly did. Where did I go wrong?"
"Probably the same place I went wrong," he sighed.
"What?"
'You are the life
to my soul'
"Do I deserve to have my fiancée break up with me?" he questioned, tears glistening in his eyes.
"Oh no. Shane, I'm so sorry. Here I am crying over losing Jeff when you lost your fiancée. I'm so stupid."
"No, no you're not. Don't say that. You didn't know. And I really wasn't going to tell you. But I had to tell someone. I was about to explode."
"Shane, you know I'm here for you. Whenever you need a shoulder to cry on, I'll be there."
"I know. Thank you. What would I do without you?"
'You are my purpose
you're everything'
"You'd be lost, just like I'd be lost without you," I smiled. "So what happened?"
"I had to get out of that house. So I did. I left for the whole day pretty much and when I came back, she was packing up all her stuff. She was gone. I couldn't say anything or do anything to stop her from leaving. She said she couldn't take it anymore. I hurt her in the worst possible way. God do I regret ever going to the Playboy Mansion."
"You really did love her, didn't you?"
"Yeah, and I'm pretty sure I loved her more than I loved you. Figure that one out!"
"Lately, I'm sure that's not hard to do."
"What?"
"Loving someone more than me. If Jeff can do it, so can you."
"Don't believe that. You're a great girl. Up until Shannon, I didn't think I would ever love anyone again. And now, I'm sure I won't."
"Well, I love you."
"I love you too," his smile was infectious and I laid my head on his shoulder for the rest of flight.
***********
'And how can I
stand here with you'
As I stood in line with Shane at the Subway, I felt like it was old times. I didn't have a boyfriend to worry about, all I needed to do was worry about me. I had been dating around for a month and felt free. Nothing serious had come out of any of it. Although, feelings I had for Randy, were slowly coming back.
Shane was still feeling the affects of his breakup with Shannon, but then again, he did see her 5 days a week due to work. Vince was unwilling to make any changes and Shane just took it. I guess he was trying to look stronger than he was actually feeling. The only time I really saw him smile was when we were just messing around in the car on the way to arenas in different cities.
'And not be moved by you
would you tell me'
"It's like nothing's changed between them," Trish whispered to Shan as they sat in the backseat of the car. Shane and I sat in the front singing away wildly to whatever was on the radio.
"I know. Jeff's feeling really bad about what he did," Shan replied.
"He should! He just broke her apart."
"Personally I think she's better without him. He was just bein an ass about what she did to him. And yeah, maybe he did have a right to be cautious, but she was like a prisoner. Or at least she felt that way."
"I think both of them really just need each other right now. I mean Shannon was just being jealous. They just need to take a break from being in a serious relationship, ya know?"
"Yeah, well, rumor is around the locker room that Randy and Case are getting pretty close again."
"John's probably not too impressed, huh?"
"Actually, now that he's seeing that girl back in Massachusetts, he doesn't really care. He's actually kinda happy for them. But then again, he's just really close to Casey anyways, so why would he want to see her unhappy?" Shan said.
'How could it be
any better than this yeah'
"Rob again?!" I exclaimed after seeing the sheet of matches for the nite.
"What's the matter?" Randy asked walking up behind me.
"I've got a hardcore match against Rob again for the belt," I sighed.
"Sorry babe," Randy smiled.
"Nick is really getting tired of me coming out of these matches with injuries. I keep telling him that I'm trying to cut down on them, but how can I with the crowd cheering me on like that?!"
"Very true," Randy said. "Just be careful."
"I always try, but I never actually succeed," I laughed walking away to get ready for the nite.
'You calm the storms
and you give me rest'
"Hey, what's with the frown?" Shane asked passing me in the hall.
"Just the match I have."
"Rob again?" Shane laughed.
"Yeah," I chuckled. "Who you got?"
"I'm free tonite, if you can believe it," he said.
"Wow, leaving for the next town?"
"Nah, I'm waiting round for you, of course! Can't drive without my travel buddy!" he laughed. "Good luck sweetie."
"Thanks," I smiled watching walk away. I shook my head and kept walking.
****************
'You hold me in your hands
you won't let me fall'
This was it, I had finally made a decision in my life. I had to take a chance, and hell, if it didn't turn out how I wanted it to, I would survive, right? Definitely. 4 months without anybody to really hold you can have an affect on you in strange ways. And despite the rumors bout Randy and I, there was nothing going on. So I stood there in front of Shane's hotel room door, contemplating if I was doing the right/smart thing, or if I had just drank too much soda and the caffeine and sugar was getting to me.
"Come in!" I heard him yell to me.
"You don't check to see if it's some weirdo?" I asked walking in.
"No, but apparently I should if you're walking in here," he said crunching up his face.
'You still my heart
and you take my breath away'
I looked at him, sitting on the bed with his laptop, in his boxers. I laughed and walked towards him. I bit on my lip and smiled.
"So what's up?" he smiled pushing his computer to the side.
'Would you take me in
take me deeper now'
"Can I ask you a question?" I asked.
"Of course. Why is it that you always ask me if you can ask me a question? Why can't you just ASK me?" he laughed.
"I like bein difficult," I said, a sarcastic smile on my face. "But anyways. You wanna get married?"
"Well obviously!" he laughed.
'And how can I
stand here with you'
"No, maybe I didn't say this right," I said. "You wanna get married to me?"
"Well sure, why not?" he asked taking it as a joke.
"I'm serious."
"Are you on crack?"
"No, I'm completely sober, minus 4 liters of Cherry Coke."
"Well, sure. So in 5 years, if both of us are unmarried and single, we'll get married to each other," he smiled.
"No, I mean, right now, tonite, right here," I said.
"What?" he asked. I got down on my knee in front of him.
'And not be moved by you
would you tell me'
I took a deep breath and smiled as I pulled out my class ring. "Will you marry me?"
'How could it be
any better than this'
He looked at me, shaking his head slightly. A smile graced his face and he said, "Yes." Shocked, my eyes grew wide. He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly.
"You said yes?" I questioned.
"Yes, I said yes. I love you Casey. And I know I won't find anyone who I love more. I want to marry you. So we'll plan a big to do wedding and get married," he smiled.
"No, Shane, I don't want to wait. I don't want a big wedding. Not now anyways. I just want to marry you. I want to wake up with you every day. I want to be held by you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
'And how can I
stand here with you'
"What are you saying?"
"I want to get Amy, or Shannon, or Trish, or WHOEVER and go down to the town hall which is opened for another hour, I checked, and get married," I explained.
"Casey Lee Helms, you are insane!" he laughed.
"Helms? Does that mean yes?!"
"Well, DUH!" he laughed pulling me with him.
"Um, Shane, pants maybe?" I asked just as he swung the door open.
"Ah, yeah," he said grabbing whatever clothes he could.
'And not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this'
"I can't believe we're doing this," Shane smiled as we walked into Chicago's town hall.
"I can't either, actually," I laughed.
"Oh God! We made it!" Trish panted as she and Shannon ran up the steps behind us.
"We thought we might miss this," Shannon said trying to catch his breath. "Anyways, here." Shannon handed Shane three velvet boxes with a smile. Before we entered the hall, Shane stopped me and opened one of the boxes.
"Yeah, you may have asked me to marry you, but I feel that this is the right way to do things," Shane said dropping to his knee. "Casey, will you marry me?"
"You know it baby!" I smiled as he slipped the ring on my finger.
"Ya know, I almost expected you to say know. Must be out of habit," he laughed standing up. "Do you like the ring, cause we could get it changed later if you don't."
'Cause you're all I want
you're all I need
you're everything
everything'
"Shane, it's perfect," I smiled. "Thank you."
"No, thank you," he replied as we started filling out the papers needed.
I held Shane's hand and examined our rings. They fit perfectly. Both platinum bands, plain, nothing special about them. And my engagement ring, a platinum band with a small tear shaped diamond. And he wore my class ring on his pinky finger, although I'm almost positive that, that was because he couldn't get it off his finger in the first place. But the point to all this was, that we truly did love each other. True, maybe he wasn't my soul mate, but they never said that once you found your soul mate, you would marry them. Shane was just everything I needed. 'you're all I want you're all I need you're everything everything you're all I want you're all I need you're everything everything and how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you would you tell me how could it be any better than this and how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you would you tell me how could it be any better than this would you tell me how could it be any better than this'
