Disclaimer: see chapter 1
Chapter 22
Time passed slowly as I eagerly awaited my next outing with Frodo. Rosie saw my impatience and tried to find more chores for me to do, but my anxiety caused me to work quickly and finish everything with ample time to spare. I did everything, cooked every meal, cleaned every corner of the house everyday, went to the market and bought supplies that were needed in the house, plus I made some clothes for Elanor and even helped Sam tend to some of the neighbors' gardens, just to keep my mind from driving itself mad waiting for the next Friday.
Meanwhile, I did keep an eye on Frodo, watching to see how well he recovered from the emotional stress of telling me everything. He seemed to be his normal self within a few days' time, talking a little at breakfast and asking Sam what his duties were. Besides the return of his normal demeanor, there was something else hinting in his eyes whenever he looked at me that I could not place.
Our following outing, Frodo talked about how Gollum took them up the stairs of Cirith Ungol and had turned him against Sam. Frodo nearly broke down at that point, regretting ever doubting Sam, but at the same time, he knew it was the Ring that brought on all of his feelings then and they could not be helped.
Then he told me of Shelob's lair and waking up in a tower fearing that all was lost until Sam saved him. I remembered the date and tied it to his illness in March, making sense of the delusions in his dreams which were merely memories resurfacing.
After hours of listening to him, I saw the exhaustion on his face and the pain with which he spoke and decided to let him end for the day, despite his wishes to go on.
Again, the week passed slowly, my anticipation growing more now that I knew the end was near. I would spend what seemed like hours cleaning the house only to step outside again to see that the sun had not lowered in the sky. I worked until my hands hurt from scrubbing and my eyes became tired from sewing such tiny stitches. Rosie saw the torment I was putting myself through and constantly insisted that I must relax. So I tried to take my mind off of things by reading or creating my own tales in my head, remembering the fantasies Lily and I would create as children.
Through the week, I watched Frodo, seeing how it took a day longer for him to recover. Sam constantly worried over him, fearing that it was too much for him. I tried to reassure him that it was all Frodo's decision and he could stop when he pleased, but in my heart I feared for him too. My affection for him grew and I knew there was no denying that it was there.
Friday morning, as I was cleaning up and beginning preparations for second breakfast even though it was my day off, Sam came up to me.
"Mira," he said kindly, coming closer to me.
"Yes, Sam?" I turned around to face him, wiping my hands on my apron.
"Please be kind to Mr. Frodo."
"I know Sam, but it is his choice."
"I know that as well. It's just..he's taken to you lately and I'm not positive if he's telling you because he feels he needs to or because you want to hear it."
At first, I did not understand his comment, but after putting it together with everything I had seen in Frodo, it made sense.
"He's almost done, Sam." I put my hand on his shoulder, trying to offer some sort of reassurance to him and myself. "I do not want to see harm come to him either."
Sam lowered his head and stepped aside, leaving the kitchen quietly.
It was nearly mid afternoon when I noticed that Frodo had not come out to take me out on our walk. I walked to his study and knocked lightly on his door before pushing it open. He was all ready facing me when I entered the room.
"Do come in, Mira," he said softly, standing up and nearing me. I walked into the room, stopping about mid way in.
"Are we going to set out any time soon? The light will be gone if we wait much longer." I felt uncomfortable standing in front of him as I did.
"I'm sorry to keep you waiting, but I was writing and lost track of time." Frodo reached up and ran his hand through his hair, sighing softly.
"It's quite all right. We can do this some other day if you wish," I said, remembering Sam's comments that morning.
"No, I'd much rather talk with you today." Frodo started to head out of the room, then paused at the door, waiting for me to follow him. I walked to him and followed him out of Bag End and down the path.
When we were outside of the immediate town, he slowed and turned to me. "I'd like to show you something, if that's all right with you."
"Of course it is," I replied, smiling softly to encourage him.
He guided me down the path for a while, then strayed off to the side into the fields. After a short journey, we ended up on a small shelf in the hillside that overlooked the river and part of Hobbiton. Frodo sat down and patted the ground next to him. I joined him on the soft earth, gazing out over the valley.
"It's quite beautiful," I commenting, in awe of the sight before me.
"This was one of Bilbo's favorite spots in all of the Shire. He would sit here for hours at a time, just observing everyone else." Frodo stared out over the landscape, almost as if he was trying to find some far off, unseen place.
The merry sound of children laughing while chasing each other around filtered through the air as nothing passed between Frodo and myself. The light began to wave, and still I was waiting for Frodo to say something, unable to think of a way to start the conversation myself.
"Sam and I crossed Mordor for a long time," Frodo said suddenly, startling me from my half trance. I turned to face him while he continued to stare across the river. "Or at least it seemed like a long time. While we started our journey, all of the orcs and Uruk-Hai emptied out of Mordor to meet Aragorn at the Black Gate. Each day that passed, I could feel myself slipping away more than during the previous months. The Ring bore into my soul, leaving nothing. The eye saw everything that wandered through my mind and I could not hide from it. It filled my thoughts, making me forget about the Shire and everything good in the world. It filled my vision with delusions.
"Sam was my only strength at that point, persuading me to move on when I had nothing left in me. He saw how much it had drained from me. I was completely spent but I had to press on. The closer we came to Mount Doom, the more it bore down on me, and when we were closest to it, Sam carried me when I could not walk. But when his strength failed and I saw the crack, I felt new strength and made my way to it.
"Gollum attacked me when I was close to the crack and Sam fought him allowing me to go inside the sweltering volcano."
Here, Frodo's voice became weaker, his sentences more broken as the memories flooded back to him. "I stood on the edge, holding the Ring over the lava. But it filled my mind and I could not drop it. Sam called for me to be rid of it once and for all, but I claimed it." He paused, lowering his head. "Gollum found me and bit my finger. I fought him for the Ring and cast him into the fire." I watched him as his right hand strayed to his left, rubbing the stub of his forefinger, a constant reminder of what had happened.
"I fell down with him, but managed to hang onto the edge of the ledge. I wanted to let go, give in and be rid of the pain, but Sam tried to save me. I felt nothing was worth holding onto anymore, but I grabbed his hand anyway. We ran outside and climbed onto a boulder, trying to escape from the torrent of fire the mountain was releasing.
"I laid on the rock and for the first time in months, my mind was free. I remembered the Shire and waited for death to claim me."
Frodo paused again, taking a deep breath before continuing.
"Gwaihir found us and I awoke in Minas Tirith. Ever since then, I look back upon this and see my failure. The Ring still haunts me day and night. I gave into its power and could have let this world fall to ruins. I gave up on life, knowing there was no redemption for me, nothing for me to live for anymore."
He stopped here, dropping his head into his hands. I place my hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him without knowing the utter torment that flowed through his mind.
"But the Ring was ultimately destroyed. Everything turned out for the better," I said softly, trying to console him.
"You do not understand. I failed. I hadn't the will to carry out my task." Frodo spoke sharply, staring down at his lap. I reached over to him and put one of my hands over his, using my other hand to lift his face to meet my eyes. I put my palm on his cheek, wiping away his tears with my thumb.
I searched his gaze for some response, but I saw he was searching for the same in me. He leaned into my touch lightly before pulling away completely.
"Frodo, it was not your fault."
"But I gave in," he said softly, shifting his gaze in my eyes.
"But you lasted longer than anyone else could have."
"Please forgive me for telling you all of this."
"I'm thankful that you did. I hope that it has brought some relief to you."
"It has."
I smiled lightly, searching for the truth in his soul, but finding sorrow instead of relief. "There is something that still troubles you. Please tell me."
"Maybe another day," he said softly before standing. I stood and followed him as he walked down the hillside and back to Bag End. He walked silently, not glancing in my direction the entire journey home. I could tell that there still was something that was on his mind despite the fact that he had told me all there was to tell of his adventure, or so I assumed.
When we arrived back at Bag End, Frodo opened the door for me and followed me into the house. It was not until I entered that I realized how late it was and how tired I had become. As we walked down the hall, Sam approached us.
"You're back quite late tonight. Why don't you come and eat some dinner. Rosie saved some on the fire for you two." I could see his worry for Frodo.
"No thank you, Sam," Frodo spoke up. "But I'm afraid that today has taken quite a lot out of myself and Mira and I'm not hungry."
Sam turned his gaze to me, his expression souring slightly in disappointment for Frodo's sullen demeanor. He nodded his head in understanding and left us.
I walked with Frodo to his bedroom, wanting to find out his continuing troubles and wishing that his mind was relieved from his torment. When we reached his door, he paused slightly, turning around and smiling faintly at me.
"Goodnight, Mira," he said softly, returning to his room.
"Please wait," I asked, watching as he turned around, searching my face.
"Yes?"
I reached for his hand, taking it gently in mine and staring deeply into his eyes, searching his soul. "I hope that you know how much these past few weeks have meant to me."
"I know, for they have meant more to me," he said softly, stepping closer to me. Before I knew exactly what was happening, his face was close to mine. I could feel his breath against my face as I closed my eyes. His lips gently brushed against mine in a soft kiss. I pressed back, feeling the warmth in my heart spread warmth to every part of me. I wanted this moment to last, but I knew it had to end eventually.
Slowly, I felt him pull away and I opened my eyes to see Frodo's smile greet me, as well as a blush climbing into his cheeks. At the same time, I felt hot blood rising in my face, so I averted my gaze.
"I'm sorry if you do not share my affections," Frodo started, placing his other hand on my hand, "but I've felt a love for you growing in my heart for some time now and after you've been so patient with me these past few weeks, I could not bear to keep it from you any longer."
I turned to look at him just as he lowered his head and turned his eyes away from me. "Frodo," I said, and he turned to look at me almost immediately. "I've felt similar feelings growing in my heart and I am truly glad that you feel the same way. Do not apologize for actions which have no harm."
Frodo smiled and I saw warmth flow into his eyes and his expression. He reached up and pushed a lock of hair behind my ear. "Thank you, for everything today," he said softly.
I nodded, squeezing his hand slightly in response since I was at a loss for words. I stepped backwards, knowing I should go to my bedroom. Frodo released my hands slowly and I proceeded to walk down the hall, glancing back when I reached my door to see him still watching me.
Once inside my bedroom, I closed the door and leaned against it, feeling my heart ready to explode out of my chest. It took me quite some time to fall asleep for I could still feel his touch on my hands, his warmth on my lips, and the gentle brush of his fingertips upon my cheek. Bliss filled my mind, taking me into a pleasant sleep I had not had in a long time.
~*~
Okay, yeah, I hope this pleased you all. I thought way too much about the last part and yeah, so I hope it works. As always, thank you for all the reviews. I hope to get the next chapter out soon.
FrodoBaggins87: Mira's 28, I believe. I know I never stated it in the story, so there, for the record.
LordVaughan: yeah, I realized that Rosie should be called Rose about half way through, but by then I didn't want to go back and fix it all, and it was easier to just stick with Rosie.
ChildlikeEmpress: wow, I can't believe you spent that long reading it, but I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Hope this chapter pleased you.
Hippy Hobbit: I'm glad you're liking this. hehe, I know what you mean about Merry and Pippin. I'll try to have them show up once more, but I can't guarantee anything.
Firefly: okay, so I hope that romance works for you and yeah.long enough chapter? ;) anyway, glad to know you like it so much.
Luna: about if Frodo will stay or leave, you'll just have to wait.
Chapter 22
Time passed slowly as I eagerly awaited my next outing with Frodo. Rosie saw my impatience and tried to find more chores for me to do, but my anxiety caused me to work quickly and finish everything with ample time to spare. I did everything, cooked every meal, cleaned every corner of the house everyday, went to the market and bought supplies that were needed in the house, plus I made some clothes for Elanor and even helped Sam tend to some of the neighbors' gardens, just to keep my mind from driving itself mad waiting for the next Friday.
Meanwhile, I did keep an eye on Frodo, watching to see how well he recovered from the emotional stress of telling me everything. He seemed to be his normal self within a few days' time, talking a little at breakfast and asking Sam what his duties were. Besides the return of his normal demeanor, there was something else hinting in his eyes whenever he looked at me that I could not place.
Our following outing, Frodo talked about how Gollum took them up the stairs of Cirith Ungol and had turned him against Sam. Frodo nearly broke down at that point, regretting ever doubting Sam, but at the same time, he knew it was the Ring that brought on all of his feelings then and they could not be helped.
Then he told me of Shelob's lair and waking up in a tower fearing that all was lost until Sam saved him. I remembered the date and tied it to his illness in March, making sense of the delusions in his dreams which were merely memories resurfacing.
After hours of listening to him, I saw the exhaustion on his face and the pain with which he spoke and decided to let him end for the day, despite his wishes to go on.
Again, the week passed slowly, my anticipation growing more now that I knew the end was near. I would spend what seemed like hours cleaning the house only to step outside again to see that the sun had not lowered in the sky. I worked until my hands hurt from scrubbing and my eyes became tired from sewing such tiny stitches. Rosie saw the torment I was putting myself through and constantly insisted that I must relax. So I tried to take my mind off of things by reading or creating my own tales in my head, remembering the fantasies Lily and I would create as children.
Through the week, I watched Frodo, seeing how it took a day longer for him to recover. Sam constantly worried over him, fearing that it was too much for him. I tried to reassure him that it was all Frodo's decision and he could stop when he pleased, but in my heart I feared for him too. My affection for him grew and I knew there was no denying that it was there.
Friday morning, as I was cleaning up and beginning preparations for second breakfast even though it was my day off, Sam came up to me.
"Mira," he said kindly, coming closer to me.
"Yes, Sam?" I turned around to face him, wiping my hands on my apron.
"Please be kind to Mr. Frodo."
"I know Sam, but it is his choice."
"I know that as well. It's just..he's taken to you lately and I'm not positive if he's telling you because he feels he needs to or because you want to hear it."
At first, I did not understand his comment, but after putting it together with everything I had seen in Frodo, it made sense.
"He's almost done, Sam." I put my hand on his shoulder, trying to offer some sort of reassurance to him and myself. "I do not want to see harm come to him either."
Sam lowered his head and stepped aside, leaving the kitchen quietly.
It was nearly mid afternoon when I noticed that Frodo had not come out to take me out on our walk. I walked to his study and knocked lightly on his door before pushing it open. He was all ready facing me when I entered the room.
"Do come in, Mira," he said softly, standing up and nearing me. I walked into the room, stopping about mid way in.
"Are we going to set out any time soon? The light will be gone if we wait much longer." I felt uncomfortable standing in front of him as I did.
"I'm sorry to keep you waiting, but I was writing and lost track of time." Frodo reached up and ran his hand through his hair, sighing softly.
"It's quite all right. We can do this some other day if you wish," I said, remembering Sam's comments that morning.
"No, I'd much rather talk with you today." Frodo started to head out of the room, then paused at the door, waiting for me to follow him. I walked to him and followed him out of Bag End and down the path.
When we were outside of the immediate town, he slowed and turned to me. "I'd like to show you something, if that's all right with you."
"Of course it is," I replied, smiling softly to encourage him.
He guided me down the path for a while, then strayed off to the side into the fields. After a short journey, we ended up on a small shelf in the hillside that overlooked the river and part of Hobbiton. Frodo sat down and patted the ground next to him. I joined him on the soft earth, gazing out over the valley.
"It's quite beautiful," I commenting, in awe of the sight before me.
"This was one of Bilbo's favorite spots in all of the Shire. He would sit here for hours at a time, just observing everyone else." Frodo stared out over the landscape, almost as if he was trying to find some far off, unseen place.
The merry sound of children laughing while chasing each other around filtered through the air as nothing passed between Frodo and myself. The light began to wave, and still I was waiting for Frodo to say something, unable to think of a way to start the conversation myself.
"Sam and I crossed Mordor for a long time," Frodo said suddenly, startling me from my half trance. I turned to face him while he continued to stare across the river. "Or at least it seemed like a long time. While we started our journey, all of the orcs and Uruk-Hai emptied out of Mordor to meet Aragorn at the Black Gate. Each day that passed, I could feel myself slipping away more than during the previous months. The Ring bore into my soul, leaving nothing. The eye saw everything that wandered through my mind and I could not hide from it. It filled my thoughts, making me forget about the Shire and everything good in the world. It filled my vision with delusions.
"Sam was my only strength at that point, persuading me to move on when I had nothing left in me. He saw how much it had drained from me. I was completely spent but I had to press on. The closer we came to Mount Doom, the more it bore down on me, and when we were closest to it, Sam carried me when I could not walk. But when his strength failed and I saw the crack, I felt new strength and made my way to it.
"Gollum attacked me when I was close to the crack and Sam fought him allowing me to go inside the sweltering volcano."
Here, Frodo's voice became weaker, his sentences more broken as the memories flooded back to him. "I stood on the edge, holding the Ring over the lava. But it filled my mind and I could not drop it. Sam called for me to be rid of it once and for all, but I claimed it." He paused, lowering his head. "Gollum found me and bit my finger. I fought him for the Ring and cast him into the fire." I watched him as his right hand strayed to his left, rubbing the stub of his forefinger, a constant reminder of what had happened.
"I fell down with him, but managed to hang onto the edge of the ledge. I wanted to let go, give in and be rid of the pain, but Sam tried to save me. I felt nothing was worth holding onto anymore, but I grabbed his hand anyway. We ran outside and climbed onto a boulder, trying to escape from the torrent of fire the mountain was releasing.
"I laid on the rock and for the first time in months, my mind was free. I remembered the Shire and waited for death to claim me."
Frodo paused again, taking a deep breath before continuing.
"Gwaihir found us and I awoke in Minas Tirith. Ever since then, I look back upon this and see my failure. The Ring still haunts me day and night. I gave into its power and could have let this world fall to ruins. I gave up on life, knowing there was no redemption for me, nothing for me to live for anymore."
He stopped here, dropping his head into his hands. I place my hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him without knowing the utter torment that flowed through his mind.
"But the Ring was ultimately destroyed. Everything turned out for the better," I said softly, trying to console him.
"You do not understand. I failed. I hadn't the will to carry out my task." Frodo spoke sharply, staring down at his lap. I reached over to him and put one of my hands over his, using my other hand to lift his face to meet my eyes. I put my palm on his cheek, wiping away his tears with my thumb.
I searched his gaze for some response, but I saw he was searching for the same in me. He leaned into my touch lightly before pulling away completely.
"Frodo, it was not your fault."
"But I gave in," he said softly, shifting his gaze in my eyes.
"But you lasted longer than anyone else could have."
"Please forgive me for telling you all of this."
"I'm thankful that you did. I hope that it has brought some relief to you."
"It has."
I smiled lightly, searching for the truth in his soul, but finding sorrow instead of relief. "There is something that still troubles you. Please tell me."
"Maybe another day," he said softly before standing. I stood and followed him as he walked down the hillside and back to Bag End. He walked silently, not glancing in my direction the entire journey home. I could tell that there still was something that was on his mind despite the fact that he had told me all there was to tell of his adventure, or so I assumed.
When we arrived back at Bag End, Frodo opened the door for me and followed me into the house. It was not until I entered that I realized how late it was and how tired I had become. As we walked down the hall, Sam approached us.
"You're back quite late tonight. Why don't you come and eat some dinner. Rosie saved some on the fire for you two." I could see his worry for Frodo.
"No thank you, Sam," Frodo spoke up. "But I'm afraid that today has taken quite a lot out of myself and Mira and I'm not hungry."
Sam turned his gaze to me, his expression souring slightly in disappointment for Frodo's sullen demeanor. He nodded his head in understanding and left us.
I walked with Frodo to his bedroom, wanting to find out his continuing troubles and wishing that his mind was relieved from his torment. When we reached his door, he paused slightly, turning around and smiling faintly at me.
"Goodnight, Mira," he said softly, returning to his room.
"Please wait," I asked, watching as he turned around, searching my face.
"Yes?"
I reached for his hand, taking it gently in mine and staring deeply into his eyes, searching his soul. "I hope that you know how much these past few weeks have meant to me."
"I know, for they have meant more to me," he said softly, stepping closer to me. Before I knew exactly what was happening, his face was close to mine. I could feel his breath against my face as I closed my eyes. His lips gently brushed against mine in a soft kiss. I pressed back, feeling the warmth in my heart spread warmth to every part of me. I wanted this moment to last, but I knew it had to end eventually.
Slowly, I felt him pull away and I opened my eyes to see Frodo's smile greet me, as well as a blush climbing into his cheeks. At the same time, I felt hot blood rising in my face, so I averted my gaze.
"I'm sorry if you do not share my affections," Frodo started, placing his other hand on my hand, "but I've felt a love for you growing in my heart for some time now and after you've been so patient with me these past few weeks, I could not bear to keep it from you any longer."
I turned to look at him just as he lowered his head and turned his eyes away from me. "Frodo," I said, and he turned to look at me almost immediately. "I've felt similar feelings growing in my heart and I am truly glad that you feel the same way. Do not apologize for actions which have no harm."
Frodo smiled and I saw warmth flow into his eyes and his expression. He reached up and pushed a lock of hair behind my ear. "Thank you, for everything today," he said softly.
I nodded, squeezing his hand slightly in response since I was at a loss for words. I stepped backwards, knowing I should go to my bedroom. Frodo released my hands slowly and I proceeded to walk down the hall, glancing back when I reached my door to see him still watching me.
Once inside my bedroom, I closed the door and leaned against it, feeling my heart ready to explode out of my chest. It took me quite some time to fall asleep for I could still feel his touch on my hands, his warmth on my lips, and the gentle brush of his fingertips upon my cheek. Bliss filled my mind, taking me into a pleasant sleep I had not had in a long time.
~*~
Okay, yeah, I hope this pleased you all. I thought way too much about the last part and yeah, so I hope it works. As always, thank you for all the reviews. I hope to get the next chapter out soon.
FrodoBaggins87: Mira's 28, I believe. I know I never stated it in the story, so there, for the record.
LordVaughan: yeah, I realized that Rosie should be called Rose about half way through, but by then I didn't want to go back and fix it all, and it was easier to just stick with Rosie.
ChildlikeEmpress: wow, I can't believe you spent that long reading it, but I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Hope this chapter pleased you.
Hippy Hobbit: I'm glad you're liking this. hehe, I know what you mean about Merry and Pippin. I'll try to have them show up once more, but I can't guarantee anything.
Firefly: okay, so I hope that romance works for you and yeah.long enough chapter? ;) anyway, glad to know you like it so much.
Luna: about if Frodo will stay or leave, you'll just have to wait.
