Disclaimer: I still don't own Diablo---nor Andariel, Duriel, Mephisto, or Baal.

Episode 2: The Duo of Doom: or, the Doomettes

"I love it when they spla-a-a-at! All over like that!"

"Get the ring! Get the ring!"

Morrighan snatched up the wretched article, and stood there, gasping for breath. She looked ruefully at her assassin partner, Ravenwing.

"I'm getting too old for this."

"Probably," Ravenwing agreed. "But I'm not. See my gorgeous new blade talons. Heh, heh, heh… Tear through minions like a hot knife through ectoplasm."

A hideously gibbering gang of Returneds rushed at them.

Spla-a-a-at!

"See, sort of like that!"

More minions charged them, and were promptly turned into minion-popsicles by Morrighan's nifty +1 cold skills uber-staff.

"Sweet!" approved Ravenwing.

"Yes, I think so too. It was traded to me by a particularly lovely Necromancer by the name of Lucius. Charming fellow—beautiful accent. Apparently trying to expiate his wizarding crimes in his own world by offing Baddies in ours."

"I think I know him. Silky, long, white-blonde hair, piercing grey eyes? Puts the romance back in Necromancer?"

"That's the one and only!"

The Duo of Doom took a moment to swoon.

"Oh, Lu-u-u-u-u-cius! We're not worthy!"

"Watch it," yelled Ravenwing. "It's one of those electro-bat Mothra sort of thingies!"

Spla-a-a-at!

"Desert Wing," said Morrighan, chugging a mana potion. She lifted an eyebrow at Ravenwing.

'Next chamber?"

"I'm ready. You first."

Morrighan glared at her.

Ravenwing shrugged. "You know. Age before Beauty."

Morrighan smirked. "I know. Pearls before Swine."

Spla-a-a-a-at!