A/N: This is a short A/N cause this is a VERY important chapter. So I just
wanna get right to it. But here's a warning. Get your tissues. And I'm
COMPLETELY serious. If some of ya'll cried in a few of those other
chapters, you'll be balling with this one. Hell, I even cried while typing
it. Here it is.
'I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears'
I held Shane's hand tightly as we walked into the funeral home. I tried hard to put on a brave face, but when I saw his casket I broke. Shane held me up, pushing me forward. We sat down next to Crystal and Shannon and focused our attention to the front. Matt turned around in his seat and looked back at me. His eyes were red and for the first time ever, I witnessed brave Matthew Moore Hardy crying. I put my hand up to my mouth and shook my head.
'And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave'
'He loved you,' Matt mouthed to me before turning back around in his seat.
I'm sure you're all confused as to what's going on, so let me take you back. Back 3 days ago to Survivor Series, a nite that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
''Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone'
From the moment I woke up that day, I knew it was going to be bad. Nero was putting up a massive fuss and his father wasn't being much help either. Shane knew Jeff and I were having a major match that nite and I needed all the concentration I could get. But Shane decided that leaving me with Nero at the arena to go spend time with Jay was better. Nero was crying and just throwing one of the biggest fits imaginable when Jeff walked in.
"Whoa, kid, the ears," he smiled picking up his Godson. Nero sniffled and a large smile grew on his face.
"Are you kidding me?!" I exclaimed at Nero's sudden silence. "I've been trying for an hour to quiet him."
"What can I say? I've got the magic touch," Jeff smirked.
"Jeff," Nero garbled. Jeff placed a kiss on his forehead and set him on the bench.
'These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase'
"I just came to get you for the basic match run through with Adam and Matt," Jeff said.
"How would you like me to do that?! Shane's left me to hang with Jay," I replied.
"He and Jay are hanging out by the ring babe." I sighed angrily and Jeff picked Nero up once again. We walked to the ring and sure enough, Shane was sitting in one of the seats jabbering away with Jay. He smiled at Jeff and I, and happily took Nero from Jeff.
So the four of us spent about an hour going over things for the tag team ladder match. Which would be Adam's last wrestling match ever. He was going out with a bang. Adam and I leaned on the ropes and watched Matt and Jeff plan out one specific spot, a side affect off the top of the ladder. The ring bounced slightly as the brothers landed on the mat. Jeff cried out in pain and we all rushed towards him as he struggled to his feet.
'When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears'
"Oh my God! You alright bro?" Matt asked crawling towards the fallen Hardy.
"Yeah, I'll be fine, just help me up," Jeff said, his voice strained with pain.
"Maybe you should go see Nick," I suggested knowing he'd refuse, as Adam pulled Jeff up.
"No, I'll be fine. Just landed wrong."
"Jeff, maybe we shouldn't do that spot. You're back is already fucked. We don't need to make it worse," Matt said sounding very concerned for his little brother.
"I'll be fine for the show," Jeff argued as he rolled out of the ring by himself.
"Matt, be careful with him tonite. I have a horrible feeling something's gonna go wrong," I said. Matt shook his head, never one to take my intuitions lightly. I'd been right about them one too many times.
'I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me'
"I will. He's making me nervous lately," Matt sighed tightening his ponytail.
"Nero, what's the matter?" Shane questioned as he moved towards the ring, the one year old making a ruckus much like last time.
"Sounds to me like Nero inherited one of your best traits," Matt smiled as he and I climbed out of the ring.
"Best?" I laughed taking my blue eyed baby from Shane. "I don't know what's so good about it."
"Casey, it's been very helpful in the past and you know it," Matt pointed out.
I rolled my eyes as Nero rested his head on my shoulder and sobbed. I knew Matt was right about Nero somehow getting that one special trait from me. But the closer to show time it got, the worse my feeling got.
Before the show, Jeff had quieted Nero down. The only time he seemed to be calm was when he heard Jeff, saw Jeff, or played with Jeff. And then the big match, the Survivor Series main event, was only 10 minutes away. I don't know how, but Nero knew this and wouldn't calm down for anything or anyone, not even Jeff could work his magic touch.
'You used to captivate me
By your resonating light'
As Jeff and I walked towards the gorilla position I grabbed my stomach and bet over as a sharp pain suddenly hit me. Jeff helped me stand up straight and gave me a worried look.
"Are you okay? Do we need to get help?" he worried.
"Not yet," I muttered continuing to hold my side as the pain hadn't subsided.
"What?"
"Jeff, please, PLEASE, be careful tonite. Don't do anything crazy. I have this extremely bad feeling and have had it all day. Plus I think that's half Nero's problem," I said.
'Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts'
"Case, I'll be fine. The match is going to go off without a hitch!" Jeff smiled placing a soft kiss on my lips.
"I love you Jeff," I said a tear slipping down my cheek.
"I love you too," he replied tilting his head to the side. "You're really worried aren't you?"
"So much!" I exclaimed throwing my arms around his neck. He sighed and held me comfortingly till we were being rushed to the ring.
'My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me'
As "Sacrilege" played, the pit in my stomach got bigger and big with fear. I tried to put a sarcastic grin on my face, and play off the heel role that Jeff and I was still in. Matt and Adam stood in the ring waiting for us. Jeff went to do his normal walk under the ladder, but I pushed him out of the way and took that walk instead. The match started and everything seemed to be going fine. Matt and Jeff pulled off the side affect without any problems and I felt somewhat relieved, though there was that lingering feeling of death. Yeah, I said it, death. There was like a dark cloud hanging over the ring that just wouldn't go away. The match was almost over, in the middle of the ring was a set up used before in a ladder match, two ladders with a table on top of them, being used as a platform to get to the belts. Matt had set this up before I had pushed him off, with me falling along with him. Matt and I battled it outside of the ring, I had him down with a drop kick. I stood, panting and dripping with sweat, I brushed a strand of hair that had been pulled out of my ponytail, and watched the action that was going on in the ring. Jeff and Adam were climbing the ladders. The met each other in the middle of the table and started delivering punches to each other. Jeff managed to push Adam off the table, but instead of going for the belts, he went for a Swanton. My eyes grew and my mouth dropped open before Jeff could even do this very routine move. A move that they had done during our practice and had come out perfectly, but there was something wrong with this one.
'These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase'
"NO!!!!!!!!!" I screamed just as Jeff left the table. I scrambled into the ring as Matt started to get up, looking very bewildered on the whole situation. Adam had moved and Jeff landed on the mat harshly. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed out louder as I became hysterical. I crawled to Jeff's side and stared down at his body. Matt and Adam glanced at each other, shaking their heads before joining me. Jeff's body was still, his eyes closed. I lifted his head and put it in my lap, running my hand through his multi-colored hair.
'When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears'
"I love you Casey. I'll always, watch over you," he struggled to speak through his pain.
I leaned down and pressed my face to his as his body went limp. "No," I cried shaking my head.
'I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me'
"Casey, what's goin on?" Matt questioned in a whisper as the crowd started to make noises of worry. I just sat there crying, shaking my head. Matt looked down Jeff's body and dropped to the mat. He started hyperventilating as Adam quickly motioned for the paramedics. They quickly ran out as I looked up at the ceiling and started to cry harder.
"Jeff, please, come back to me. Please. I love you, don't leave me," I cried as I was being pulled away from Jeff's body. Adam held me close to his body, making sure I didn't jump on Jeff as the paramedics checked him out.
"We have to get him out of here. It's probably too late, but he needs medical assistance immediately!" I heard one of them say as he was placed on a stretcher and carried away.
"Attention everyone. We have had an emergency. Jeff Hardy has been seriously injured. This was NOT planned. He is being rushed to the hospital. I'm sorry but the show is over. We'll give you an update on his condition tomorrow nite on RAW," Vince McMahon announced as he stood at the top of the ramp. The crowd was unsure of what to think of this. Was it another storyline put on by Vinny Mac? Or was this the real deal? Some walked out crying, fearing the worst. Others just laughed, feeling that it was a put on.
I fell limp in Adam's arms as he struggled to keep me up. It wasn't long before Shane ran out to me. He wrapped his arms around me as tightly as he possibly could, holding me to his chest. Matt, who was still kneeling in the same spot he was when he realized the damage done to Jeff, looked as white as a sheet, a vague look on his face.
As we rushed to the hospital, breaking the land speed records, I knew I had to prepare myself for the worst. Shane held me the whole way to the hospital, Nero was being watched by Stephanie McMahon. Matt and Amy sat in the front, Amy driving, seeing as she, besides Shane, was the only one capable of driving any place at that point in time. Finally, the bright lights of the emergency room came into view. We ran into the hospital and Matt found a doctor.
'I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone'
Matt walked towards us, a look of dread in his eyes, causing me to break down. I fell to the floor and shook my head as I rocked back and forth, whispering, "No, no, I love him, he can't leave me," over and over again. Matt fell down to me, holding me, rocking with me. Amy fell into Shane's body, crying. "Can I see him?" I questioned looking into Matt brown eyes.
"Casey, there's nothing there. It's just a body. There's not soul, there's no Jeff, there's no life. What would be the purpose to seeing him?" he asked.
"Peace Matt. For a sense of peace. I need to see him," I cried out.
"Matt, just let her see him. Let her say her goodbyes," Shane sniffled trying hard to keep his own tears at bay.
"Fine, I'll get the doctor to take you in," he sighed.
"You sure you want to do this?" Amy asked. I nodded at her and stood on my shaking legs. I fallowed the doctor, leaving the others in the lobby. "Baby, maybe you should go see him. To say your goodbyes."
"What's the point? He's already gone," Matt sighed walking out to the car.
"Now, are you sure you want to do this?" the doctor asked me.
"Yes, I am," I answered as he opened the door for me.
"Come out whenever you're ready," the doctor instructed. I nodded and he closed the door behind me.
'But though you're still with me'
I looked at the bed. Jeff's life less body laid there. I walked towards him, taking his cold hand in mine. I ran my hand down his cold face and closed my eyes as I reached his lips. "Why?" I cried. "Why did you leave me? I can't be without you! You're my rock. You said you'd always be there! You lied!" I threw my body on his, crying on his chest. I closed my eyes and thought for a second I could feel his hot breath on my neck, but when I sat up, he was still as lifeless as he was when I had walked in there. "I need you Jeff. How can I do this without you? How can I live without you? I loved you so much and you leave me! I hate you so much!!" I looked down at his face and smiled. "You said I was strong. You told me I didn't need you. That I could do it all on my own. Look at me. If I was so strong, would I have broken down like this? If I was so strong, would I be so hurt by this?" I ran my hand threw his hair, my tears dripping onto his face. "I want to hate you. I want to hate you for leaving me. I want to hate you for this. But I can't. I love you so much Jeff. You always believed in me. Even when I was positive I couldn't go on. You always believed in me. Pushing me forward when my legs wouldn't move. You always believed in me. Never letting me fall. You always caught me before I hit the ground. Who's going to catch me now? Who's going to believe in me like you did?" I tilted my head and wiped my cheeks. "How am I going to calm Nero down? You were everything to him. He loved you Jeff. He loved you so much." I kissed his lips and shook my head. "I'll never let him forget you. You'll always be in his heart. You'll always be with him." I brought his hand up to my face. "I'll never forget you. I'll never let you go. Jeff, you were my knight in shining armor. You rescued me. You saved me." I started to cry, rivers, for tears as I laid my head down on his chest. "And now you get to see our daughter. Tell Rune I love her. And that I think of her always. And tell her that I'm so very sorry that she wasn't able to experience life. Tell her that no matter what, she's beautiful." I kissed his chest. "You get to be back with your mother. Tell her that she had the best sons ever. Tell her that I'm sorry I never got a chance to meet her. Let her know that even though I didn't know her, I'm sure I would have thought of her as my own mother. Let her know that I love her."
'I've been alone all along'
"Angel?" Shane spoke as he walked into the hospital room. I looked up at him, unable to speak. "You've been in here for an hour. We should go." I held up my hand, telling him to give me one minute. He nodded and left me.
"Well, I have to go. Jeff, I love you more than anything in this world. I'm going to miss you so much. I love you. Goodbye Jeff. Goodbye my knight. Goodbye my prince charming. Goodbye my rock." I kissed his lips once again and left the hospital room.
So now you know what happened. Jeff is dead. Apparently the mixture of landing wrong and the impact to the mat killed him, and then combined with all his back and neck problems it was all just a deadly concoction. I haven't been able to sleep since that nite. The replays of his last minute just keep playing in my mind. It was going to take a lot to get over him. And to tell you the truth, I probably won't ever get over him. Jeff will always be remembered, for his kind heart, his soft words, his talent in the ring and out, and for just being him. If truth be known, we all carry a bit of Jeff in us. We just don't let it out like he did. That was one of the best things about him. He let me, be me. He helped me get the real me out. And I'll always thank him for that.
'When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears'
"And now Casey Helms would like to say a few words." I took a deep breath and walked up to the podium.
"God, this is so hard for me. I knew Jeff probably better than his family did. He showed me things that I didn't know existed. People who didn't know Jeff, were a bit taken back by him. He just was so different. He wasn't like everyone else. That's what made him special. Because unlike everyone else, he was himself. He didn't hide the fact that he was different. We're all different, but he embraced it," I smiled. "I loved Jeff. I LOVE Jeff. To tell you the truth, he was my first real love. I didn't know love until I met him. He and Matt took me in. Helped me, when I thought no one cared. And I'm forever grateful. Without Jeff, I wouldn't be here today. He probably WOULD be here." I cried. "I'm sorry. Anyways, Jeff will always remain our hearts." I looked over at his closed casket and choked back my tears. "Jeff will always be in MY heart." I cried before I practically ran back to Shane.
"We will now proceed to the cemetery for the burial." Everyone rose from their seats and left the building.
"He would have liked that," Gil cried as he hugged me.
"It was all true," I replied.
"Yes, it was. Casey, he loved you. He loved you more than life itself. You may think that he saved you, but in reality, you're the one that saved him. Thank you so much Casey for being in his life," Gil kissed my cheek and walked towards the car where Matt and Amy waited.
"Are you okay?" Shane asked wrapping his arm around me.
"Shane, I'll never be okay," I answered truthfully.
'I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me'
It took a lot for me to get out of the car at the cemetery. I knew that this meant it was the end. Once his casket went into the ground, he'd be gone. I didn't want to face the facts. Everyone stood around the burial site, Jeff's stone was placed at the head, and just like him, it was extremely colorful. I laid a rose on his casket and bowed my head. 'Jeff, if you can hear me, you still have time to jump out of this thing. To jump out and say, gotcha.' I looked up at the heavens and shook my head. I placed a kiss on the casket and moved back into Shane's arms as we watched them lower Jeff into the ground. I read over Jeff's tombstone and smiled.
'Jeffrey N. Hardy
Aug. 31, 1977- Nov. 21, 2010
He was a loving brother and son. And a friend to all. His life will not be forgotten, especially to those who knew him well. He was loved and will always be loved. Live for the Moment. And remember his words, "Don't think you can, know you can! Your human body is the most impressive tool that you will ever own. Even if you can't control everything, you can always control something. Your body- use it........amuse it.......because one day........you're going to lose it."'
A/N2: Yeah, I know, death to the girl that killed off Jeff Hardy. And no, this wasn't a dream. So don't expect him to come back to life. Or at least not in that context. And of course you all know the song I used, "My Immortal" by Evanescence. And yes, there will be a couple more chapters to this story. I'm going to concentrate on finishing this one, while I have the inspiration for it, before I go off to do my other stories. And this chapter was very hard for me to do. I fear death like the plague. Lol I pretty much avoid it at all costs. Cemeteries, funerals, all of that stuff just wigs me out. So writing something that was based on that was especially hard. I think that's it. Hope you all, hmm, well, it seems like wrong to say I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. So, um, hmmm. Just leave me a review. Lol
'I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears'
I held Shane's hand tightly as we walked into the funeral home. I tried hard to put on a brave face, but when I saw his casket I broke. Shane held me up, pushing me forward. We sat down next to Crystal and Shannon and focused our attention to the front. Matt turned around in his seat and looked back at me. His eyes were red and for the first time ever, I witnessed brave Matthew Moore Hardy crying. I put my hand up to my mouth and shook my head.
'And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave'
'He loved you,' Matt mouthed to me before turning back around in his seat.
I'm sure you're all confused as to what's going on, so let me take you back. Back 3 days ago to Survivor Series, a nite that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
''Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone'
From the moment I woke up that day, I knew it was going to be bad. Nero was putting up a massive fuss and his father wasn't being much help either. Shane knew Jeff and I were having a major match that nite and I needed all the concentration I could get. But Shane decided that leaving me with Nero at the arena to go spend time with Jay was better. Nero was crying and just throwing one of the biggest fits imaginable when Jeff walked in.
"Whoa, kid, the ears," he smiled picking up his Godson. Nero sniffled and a large smile grew on his face.
"Are you kidding me?!" I exclaimed at Nero's sudden silence. "I've been trying for an hour to quiet him."
"What can I say? I've got the magic touch," Jeff smirked.
"Jeff," Nero garbled. Jeff placed a kiss on his forehead and set him on the bench.
'These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase'
"I just came to get you for the basic match run through with Adam and Matt," Jeff said.
"How would you like me to do that?! Shane's left me to hang with Jay," I replied.
"He and Jay are hanging out by the ring babe." I sighed angrily and Jeff picked Nero up once again. We walked to the ring and sure enough, Shane was sitting in one of the seats jabbering away with Jay. He smiled at Jeff and I, and happily took Nero from Jeff.
So the four of us spent about an hour going over things for the tag team ladder match. Which would be Adam's last wrestling match ever. He was going out with a bang. Adam and I leaned on the ropes and watched Matt and Jeff plan out one specific spot, a side affect off the top of the ladder. The ring bounced slightly as the brothers landed on the mat. Jeff cried out in pain and we all rushed towards him as he struggled to his feet.
'When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears'
"Oh my God! You alright bro?" Matt asked crawling towards the fallen Hardy.
"Yeah, I'll be fine, just help me up," Jeff said, his voice strained with pain.
"Maybe you should go see Nick," I suggested knowing he'd refuse, as Adam pulled Jeff up.
"No, I'll be fine. Just landed wrong."
"Jeff, maybe we shouldn't do that spot. You're back is already fucked. We don't need to make it worse," Matt said sounding very concerned for his little brother.
"I'll be fine for the show," Jeff argued as he rolled out of the ring by himself.
"Matt, be careful with him tonite. I have a horrible feeling something's gonna go wrong," I said. Matt shook his head, never one to take my intuitions lightly. I'd been right about them one too many times.
'I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me'
"I will. He's making me nervous lately," Matt sighed tightening his ponytail.
"Nero, what's the matter?" Shane questioned as he moved towards the ring, the one year old making a ruckus much like last time.
"Sounds to me like Nero inherited one of your best traits," Matt smiled as he and I climbed out of the ring.
"Best?" I laughed taking my blue eyed baby from Shane. "I don't know what's so good about it."
"Casey, it's been very helpful in the past and you know it," Matt pointed out.
I rolled my eyes as Nero rested his head on my shoulder and sobbed. I knew Matt was right about Nero somehow getting that one special trait from me. But the closer to show time it got, the worse my feeling got.
Before the show, Jeff had quieted Nero down. The only time he seemed to be calm was when he heard Jeff, saw Jeff, or played with Jeff. And then the big match, the Survivor Series main event, was only 10 minutes away. I don't know how, but Nero knew this and wouldn't calm down for anything or anyone, not even Jeff could work his magic touch.
'You used to captivate me
By your resonating light'
As Jeff and I walked towards the gorilla position I grabbed my stomach and bet over as a sharp pain suddenly hit me. Jeff helped me stand up straight and gave me a worried look.
"Are you okay? Do we need to get help?" he worried.
"Not yet," I muttered continuing to hold my side as the pain hadn't subsided.
"What?"
"Jeff, please, PLEASE, be careful tonite. Don't do anything crazy. I have this extremely bad feeling and have had it all day. Plus I think that's half Nero's problem," I said.
'Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts'
"Case, I'll be fine. The match is going to go off without a hitch!" Jeff smiled placing a soft kiss on my lips.
"I love you Jeff," I said a tear slipping down my cheek.
"I love you too," he replied tilting his head to the side. "You're really worried aren't you?"
"So much!" I exclaimed throwing my arms around his neck. He sighed and held me comfortingly till we were being rushed to the ring.
'My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me'
As "Sacrilege" played, the pit in my stomach got bigger and big with fear. I tried to put a sarcastic grin on my face, and play off the heel role that Jeff and I was still in. Matt and Adam stood in the ring waiting for us. Jeff went to do his normal walk under the ladder, but I pushed him out of the way and took that walk instead. The match started and everything seemed to be going fine. Matt and Jeff pulled off the side affect without any problems and I felt somewhat relieved, though there was that lingering feeling of death. Yeah, I said it, death. There was like a dark cloud hanging over the ring that just wouldn't go away. The match was almost over, in the middle of the ring was a set up used before in a ladder match, two ladders with a table on top of them, being used as a platform to get to the belts. Matt had set this up before I had pushed him off, with me falling along with him. Matt and I battled it outside of the ring, I had him down with a drop kick. I stood, panting and dripping with sweat, I brushed a strand of hair that had been pulled out of my ponytail, and watched the action that was going on in the ring. Jeff and Adam were climbing the ladders. The met each other in the middle of the table and started delivering punches to each other. Jeff managed to push Adam off the table, but instead of going for the belts, he went for a Swanton. My eyes grew and my mouth dropped open before Jeff could even do this very routine move. A move that they had done during our practice and had come out perfectly, but there was something wrong with this one.
'These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase'
"NO!!!!!!!!!" I screamed just as Jeff left the table. I scrambled into the ring as Matt started to get up, looking very bewildered on the whole situation. Adam had moved and Jeff landed on the mat harshly. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed out louder as I became hysterical. I crawled to Jeff's side and stared down at his body. Matt and Adam glanced at each other, shaking their heads before joining me. Jeff's body was still, his eyes closed. I lifted his head and put it in my lap, running my hand through his multi-colored hair.
'When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears'
"I love you Casey. I'll always, watch over you," he struggled to speak through his pain.
I leaned down and pressed my face to his as his body went limp. "No," I cried shaking my head.
'I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me'
"Casey, what's goin on?" Matt questioned in a whisper as the crowd started to make noises of worry. I just sat there crying, shaking my head. Matt looked down Jeff's body and dropped to the mat. He started hyperventilating as Adam quickly motioned for the paramedics. They quickly ran out as I looked up at the ceiling and started to cry harder.
"Jeff, please, come back to me. Please. I love you, don't leave me," I cried as I was being pulled away from Jeff's body. Adam held me close to his body, making sure I didn't jump on Jeff as the paramedics checked him out.
"We have to get him out of here. It's probably too late, but he needs medical assistance immediately!" I heard one of them say as he was placed on a stretcher and carried away.
"Attention everyone. We have had an emergency. Jeff Hardy has been seriously injured. This was NOT planned. He is being rushed to the hospital. I'm sorry but the show is over. We'll give you an update on his condition tomorrow nite on RAW," Vince McMahon announced as he stood at the top of the ramp. The crowd was unsure of what to think of this. Was it another storyline put on by Vinny Mac? Or was this the real deal? Some walked out crying, fearing the worst. Others just laughed, feeling that it was a put on.
I fell limp in Adam's arms as he struggled to keep me up. It wasn't long before Shane ran out to me. He wrapped his arms around me as tightly as he possibly could, holding me to his chest. Matt, who was still kneeling in the same spot he was when he realized the damage done to Jeff, looked as white as a sheet, a vague look on his face.
As we rushed to the hospital, breaking the land speed records, I knew I had to prepare myself for the worst. Shane held me the whole way to the hospital, Nero was being watched by Stephanie McMahon. Matt and Amy sat in the front, Amy driving, seeing as she, besides Shane, was the only one capable of driving any place at that point in time. Finally, the bright lights of the emergency room came into view. We ran into the hospital and Matt found a doctor.
'I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone'
Matt walked towards us, a look of dread in his eyes, causing me to break down. I fell to the floor and shook my head as I rocked back and forth, whispering, "No, no, I love him, he can't leave me," over and over again. Matt fell down to me, holding me, rocking with me. Amy fell into Shane's body, crying. "Can I see him?" I questioned looking into Matt brown eyes.
"Casey, there's nothing there. It's just a body. There's not soul, there's no Jeff, there's no life. What would be the purpose to seeing him?" he asked.
"Peace Matt. For a sense of peace. I need to see him," I cried out.
"Matt, just let her see him. Let her say her goodbyes," Shane sniffled trying hard to keep his own tears at bay.
"Fine, I'll get the doctor to take you in," he sighed.
"You sure you want to do this?" Amy asked. I nodded at her and stood on my shaking legs. I fallowed the doctor, leaving the others in the lobby. "Baby, maybe you should go see him. To say your goodbyes."
"What's the point? He's already gone," Matt sighed walking out to the car.
"Now, are you sure you want to do this?" the doctor asked me.
"Yes, I am," I answered as he opened the door for me.
"Come out whenever you're ready," the doctor instructed. I nodded and he closed the door behind me.
'But though you're still with me'
I looked at the bed. Jeff's life less body laid there. I walked towards him, taking his cold hand in mine. I ran my hand down his cold face and closed my eyes as I reached his lips. "Why?" I cried. "Why did you leave me? I can't be without you! You're my rock. You said you'd always be there! You lied!" I threw my body on his, crying on his chest. I closed my eyes and thought for a second I could feel his hot breath on my neck, but when I sat up, he was still as lifeless as he was when I had walked in there. "I need you Jeff. How can I do this without you? How can I live without you? I loved you so much and you leave me! I hate you so much!!" I looked down at his face and smiled. "You said I was strong. You told me I didn't need you. That I could do it all on my own. Look at me. If I was so strong, would I have broken down like this? If I was so strong, would I be so hurt by this?" I ran my hand threw his hair, my tears dripping onto his face. "I want to hate you. I want to hate you for leaving me. I want to hate you for this. But I can't. I love you so much Jeff. You always believed in me. Even when I was positive I couldn't go on. You always believed in me. Pushing me forward when my legs wouldn't move. You always believed in me. Never letting me fall. You always caught me before I hit the ground. Who's going to catch me now? Who's going to believe in me like you did?" I tilted my head and wiped my cheeks. "How am I going to calm Nero down? You were everything to him. He loved you Jeff. He loved you so much." I kissed his lips and shook my head. "I'll never let him forget you. You'll always be in his heart. You'll always be with him." I brought his hand up to my face. "I'll never forget you. I'll never let you go. Jeff, you were my knight in shining armor. You rescued me. You saved me." I started to cry, rivers, for tears as I laid my head down on his chest. "And now you get to see our daughter. Tell Rune I love her. And that I think of her always. And tell her that I'm so very sorry that she wasn't able to experience life. Tell her that no matter what, she's beautiful." I kissed his chest. "You get to be back with your mother. Tell her that she had the best sons ever. Tell her that I'm sorry I never got a chance to meet her. Let her know that even though I didn't know her, I'm sure I would have thought of her as my own mother. Let her know that I love her."
'I've been alone all along'
"Angel?" Shane spoke as he walked into the hospital room. I looked up at him, unable to speak. "You've been in here for an hour. We should go." I held up my hand, telling him to give me one minute. He nodded and left me.
"Well, I have to go. Jeff, I love you more than anything in this world. I'm going to miss you so much. I love you. Goodbye Jeff. Goodbye my knight. Goodbye my prince charming. Goodbye my rock." I kissed his lips once again and left the hospital room.
So now you know what happened. Jeff is dead. Apparently the mixture of landing wrong and the impact to the mat killed him, and then combined with all his back and neck problems it was all just a deadly concoction. I haven't been able to sleep since that nite. The replays of his last minute just keep playing in my mind. It was going to take a lot to get over him. And to tell you the truth, I probably won't ever get over him. Jeff will always be remembered, for his kind heart, his soft words, his talent in the ring and out, and for just being him. If truth be known, we all carry a bit of Jeff in us. We just don't let it out like he did. That was one of the best things about him. He let me, be me. He helped me get the real me out. And I'll always thank him for that.
'When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears'
"And now Casey Helms would like to say a few words." I took a deep breath and walked up to the podium.
"God, this is so hard for me. I knew Jeff probably better than his family did. He showed me things that I didn't know existed. People who didn't know Jeff, were a bit taken back by him. He just was so different. He wasn't like everyone else. That's what made him special. Because unlike everyone else, he was himself. He didn't hide the fact that he was different. We're all different, but he embraced it," I smiled. "I loved Jeff. I LOVE Jeff. To tell you the truth, he was my first real love. I didn't know love until I met him. He and Matt took me in. Helped me, when I thought no one cared. And I'm forever grateful. Without Jeff, I wouldn't be here today. He probably WOULD be here." I cried. "I'm sorry. Anyways, Jeff will always remain our hearts." I looked over at his closed casket and choked back my tears. "Jeff will always be in MY heart." I cried before I practically ran back to Shane.
"We will now proceed to the cemetery for the burial." Everyone rose from their seats and left the building.
"He would have liked that," Gil cried as he hugged me.
"It was all true," I replied.
"Yes, it was. Casey, he loved you. He loved you more than life itself. You may think that he saved you, but in reality, you're the one that saved him. Thank you so much Casey for being in his life," Gil kissed my cheek and walked towards the car where Matt and Amy waited.
"Are you okay?" Shane asked wrapping his arm around me.
"Shane, I'll never be okay," I answered truthfully.
'I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me'
It took a lot for me to get out of the car at the cemetery. I knew that this meant it was the end. Once his casket went into the ground, he'd be gone. I didn't want to face the facts. Everyone stood around the burial site, Jeff's stone was placed at the head, and just like him, it was extremely colorful. I laid a rose on his casket and bowed my head. 'Jeff, if you can hear me, you still have time to jump out of this thing. To jump out and say, gotcha.' I looked up at the heavens and shook my head. I placed a kiss on the casket and moved back into Shane's arms as we watched them lower Jeff into the ground. I read over Jeff's tombstone and smiled.
'Jeffrey N. Hardy
Aug. 31, 1977- Nov. 21, 2010
He was a loving brother and son. And a friend to all. His life will not be forgotten, especially to those who knew him well. He was loved and will always be loved. Live for the Moment. And remember his words, "Don't think you can, know you can! Your human body is the most impressive tool that you will ever own. Even if you can't control everything, you can always control something. Your body- use it........amuse it.......because one day........you're going to lose it."'
A/N2: Yeah, I know, death to the girl that killed off Jeff Hardy. And no, this wasn't a dream. So don't expect him to come back to life. Or at least not in that context. And of course you all know the song I used, "My Immortal" by Evanescence. And yes, there will be a couple more chapters to this story. I'm going to concentrate on finishing this one, while I have the inspiration for it, before I go off to do my other stories. And this chapter was very hard for me to do. I fear death like the plague. Lol I pretty much avoid it at all costs. Cemeteries, funerals, all of that stuff just wigs me out. So writing something that was based on that was especially hard. I think that's it. Hope you all, hmm, well, it seems like wrong to say I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. So, um, hmmm. Just leave me a review. Lol
