Disclaimer: see chapter 1
Chapter 26
I strolled down the familiar path, glad to visiting Lily again. As I saw the red door, a sense of relief came over me, thankful to be home. I stood in front of the door for a short while, knocking on it lightly.
The round door soon opened quickly and Lily stood within the hobbit hole, beaming with a bright smile. She ran forward to me and wrapped her arms around my neck.
"You never have to knock here," she said, embracing me tightly. I returned her affecting, looking forward to the afternoon spent with her.
Lily pulled me inside the house eagerly and then through the rooms to the kitchen where a light lunch sat prepared on the table.
"You did not have to go to this much trouble for me," I said, glancing around the table and seeing a few breads and meats already laid out.
"Of course I did," she replied, moving to the far side of the table and sitting down. "We've a bit of catching up and there are some things which you should know. "
"Oh?" I asked, curious as to what she was talking about.
"Aye, but first, I want to know everything that has happened while we've been away." Lily put her elbows on the table and put her chin in her hands, anxiously awaiting any gossip that could come her way.
"Lily, I already told you that not much has occurred. I tend to my duties and that is about all."
"There has to be something. I know what I saw in Mr. Baggins and it surely did not seem that nothing had happened while you've been working there."
"He's been through more than you can imagine, so he talked to me, told me everything that had happened so he would not have to bear it all alone. Now if you please, tell me what you were before you turned to your horrid obsession with gossip."
Lily sighed, knowing she was defeated in the argument. She sat up properly and began to pour some tea for the both of us. I picked up my cup and sipped from it gingerly, waiting for the boiling liquid to cool.
"Well, I wanted to talk to you about father after you left."
"Whatever for? The fact that he hated me and was glad I left?" I did not like the thought of my father even though I knew he was dead not easily coming back to us.
"He was sad some time after you left, he missed you."
"What could possibly make you think that?"
"Because a few instances I walked into our room and found him staring at your bed, his eyes welling with tears."
"That could have meant several things, many which do no involve my absence." My voice was raise when I said it and I regretted speaking in such a manner to her.
Lily was silent for some time, only speaking up after I had dropped my head to look at the table and sipped at my tea again.
"He spoke to me about you once, telling how much he loved you and how he wished you hadn't left." Her voice was soft and meek, scared to be heard.
"Did he say why he treated me the way he did?" I said coldly, not willing to accept this view of my father.
"He said that you reminded him of mum and that your personality reminded him so much of her that he wished she had not died, but that could never come true. So he decided to try to break your spirit so you would not remind him so much of mum, but you became stronger, defying him more, just as mother would act."
Everything she said made sense, making me the creator of my own misery. I laid my arms down on the table, burying my face within their safety. I wanted to cry out, knowing that while I had seen my father as a hateful man, he was trying to relieve his own pain while I was only aggravating it.
A hand came softly on my back, rubbing in circles and I glanced up to see Lily sitting next to me. She reached around to my other shoulder and squeezed my shoulders. I leaned into her touch, trying to find some comfort.
Time passed slowly, and the food that Lily had worked to prepare for me was never touched through the whole afternoon. She let go of me slowly, still staring at into my eyes. I sat up straight, glancing out of the window to see the sun falling in the sky. I stared down at my hands for a second, then stood up, moving away from the kitchen.
"Thank you for having me for tea, but I must be going. I promised Rosie I would help with making dinner." Lily stood too and walked me to the front door. I gave her a final hug before departing to Bag End.
The rest of the evening, I remained quiet, hoping that this would relieve my sorrow, but the Gamgees noticed my sudden solemn disposition and so I retreated to my room early.
The following afternoon, Rosie came to me after I had finished my chores for that time. She sat down on the chair next to me.
"Is something the matter?" she asked, true sincerity coming through in her question.
"No. Why do you ask?" I questioned her, setting down my book. I watched her as she showed signs of concern with her features.
"You seem out of sorts is all."
"Well, I'm fine."
She folded her hands in her lap and sighed, looking up at me. "Why don't Frodo and you go for a walk? It's a nice day and he's been very withdrawn lately, more so than usual or at least within the latter weeks."
"That sounds lovely, but are you certain you can spare me?"
"I'm sure we can manage for the afternoon," she said, a bright grin rising on her lips.
"I'll see if Frodo is up to going out." I stood up and walked to Frodo's study, knocking lightly on the door despite the fact that I was always welcome in his study.
"Come in," I heard him call. I entered and stood near the door, managing only to stare at the floorboards under my feet. "Yes, Mira?" he asked.
I glanced up, seeing that he was fully turned around in his chair, facing me. "Would you care to take a walk with me? It's a nice day out and it's a shame to be cooped up in here."
"I'd like that. You came at a fortunate time for I'm nearly finished with my book." I walked closer to him as he turned to face his desk. I peered over his shoulder at the firm script that covered the pages. He picked up the left hand pages, flipped through them until he came to the front cover and secured it shut.
"It looks as though you're done with it."
"There's still room for a little more." Frodo eased out of his chair and walked to the door, holding it open and waiting for me to pass through it. I walked through the house and out the front door, waiting for Frodo to catch up to me.
"Is there anywhere you would like to go?" he asked, walking quite close to me.
"There is one spot I would like to visit," I said, glancing over at him briefly. Slowly, I took his hand in mine and walked down the valley. We crossed the river and walked alongside it until we reached a spot where the bank was rather deep and large rocks lined the sides. I crawled down, taking care not to mess my clothes. I found on particularly large rock, big enough for Frodo and myself to sit on comfortably. He followed me closely, faltering in his steps a little, but making it down and sitting next to me when he had finally reached where I was. I gathered up the hem of my skirt and set my feet in the cool water, enjoying the soothing sensation it sent through me. Frodo followed suit, setting his legs in the water and placing his arms behind him, leaning back and enjoying the mild air.
"What troubles you?" Frodo said, barely breaking the serenity of the fresh country sounds.
"Nothing." I responded.
"I can see it in you. Something about your tea with Lily yesterday has made you distraught."
I sighed, knowing there was no way I could escape from this. "Lily told me of how my father really cared for me by trying to form me into someone who did not remind him of my mother. But every time he tried to break me, I would come back stronger, forcing him to be reminded of my mother more."
"This is not your fault," he said calmly, moving his hand to rest over mine.
"I cannot help but think that my insistence caused all of my suffering."
"You did not know of the situation and did what was needed to survive. It is not your fault. Please do not punish yourself for these actions." Frodo's hand now stroked my hand in a comforting manner, stilling my fears slightly.
I turned to look at him, seeing him stare solemnly into the water.
"What troubles you?" I asked him. He shook his head quickly, breaking from his trance.
"Many things," he whispered, his focus still lying under the surface of the lake.
"It's the ring, isn't it?" I asked him, knowing the ring plagued his mind every hour despite having told me everything about his journey.
"Yes." His voice was soft and hoarse, barely above a whisper.
"It's gone now, destroyed forever, something which every living thing in this world owes its life to you for."
"But the horrors still dwell within my mind. There's no rest for me. Writing my book helped to relieve some pain, as did telling you my story, but there is still so much that lingers within my mind, haunts me and will never leave."
I moved closer to him, leaning on his shoulder, hoping to comfort us both somehow. "Is there anything that can be done to give you peace?"
"I do not know." I could tell he was keeping something from me, but I knew it was useless to question him in his fragile state of mind. I curled up closer to him, wrapping an arm around his waist as I resting my head on his shoulder. He slid his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to his body. I stared out over the river and sighed as he held me.
A gentle rocking stirred me from a light slumber. I opened my eyes slowly, blinking as the light filtered into my mind. I stared up to see Frodo's face smiling down at me, brushing his hand over my forehead. I lifted my head from his lap and sat up, gazing at Frodo as he looked at me.
"You've been asleep for some time and I thought it was about time we head back."
"Please forgive me for falling asleep, but last night I could not sleep and your shoulder was so soft and inviting for sleep."
Frodo chuckled lightly and stood up. "It's quite all right. I enjoyed the fresh air." He extended his hand towards me and I took it, lifting myself off of the ground. I brushed my skirt off and Frodo began to help me up the bank.
As we walked back to Bag End, nothing was said. I held his hand, stroking the back of it with my thumb, and then I leaned on his shoulder, wanting to comfort him in some way.
When we reached the green door to Bag End, we stood outside for a bit, watching as the sun laid its last light over the terrain. Slowly, I turned to face Frodo. I searched his eyes, trying to find his soul, find his pain and find a way to heal that pain. I leaned in closer to him, feeling his soft breath brush against my face. I kissed him gently, feeling warmth spread through my body as I did, feeling my fears melt away. He returned my kiss lightly as I wrapped my arms around his body. I buried my head into his neck and shoulder as I felt him encircle his arms around my body.
The moment lasted for an instant and forever at the same time. We parted and headed inside. I was filled with new hope. I watched Frodo walk to his study, then went to the kitchen where I greeted Rosie cordially and began my work in making dinner.
~*~
Okay, sorry for the huge wait, but I've been busy and I was stuck on this chapter for the longest time. And for all of those who were wondering, I had fun on my trip. Hopefully the next chapters will be out sooner, but I can't guarantee anything. Also, this is coming to a close and quickly. I want to write another fic, but I have no ideas for it. I have a parody sitting around that I like to work on when I need a pick me up, but I want to work on an angsty thing. So yeah, I guess I'm trying to ask if anyone would be interested in that. Have fun ya'll
Mirielle: yeah, I know that the Fairbairn family is actually a descendant of the Gamgees, but I don't want to go back and change it this late in the game. Thanks for the thought though ;)
Tobias Tolkien: umm...if you've read the books ten time, are you counting all three of them? Because maybe you should go read the last three chapters again. Lobellia gives Bag End back to Frodo and he lives there for a while....check your facts before you criticize please
Lady Chatterly: thank you for your reply. Very encouraging.
Evildiabolicalbunny: niice on the fake concern for the death of Mira's father...
Chapter 26
I strolled down the familiar path, glad to visiting Lily again. As I saw the red door, a sense of relief came over me, thankful to be home. I stood in front of the door for a short while, knocking on it lightly.
The round door soon opened quickly and Lily stood within the hobbit hole, beaming with a bright smile. She ran forward to me and wrapped her arms around my neck.
"You never have to knock here," she said, embracing me tightly. I returned her affecting, looking forward to the afternoon spent with her.
Lily pulled me inside the house eagerly and then through the rooms to the kitchen where a light lunch sat prepared on the table.
"You did not have to go to this much trouble for me," I said, glancing around the table and seeing a few breads and meats already laid out.
"Of course I did," she replied, moving to the far side of the table and sitting down. "We've a bit of catching up and there are some things which you should know. "
"Oh?" I asked, curious as to what she was talking about.
"Aye, but first, I want to know everything that has happened while we've been away." Lily put her elbows on the table and put her chin in her hands, anxiously awaiting any gossip that could come her way.
"Lily, I already told you that not much has occurred. I tend to my duties and that is about all."
"There has to be something. I know what I saw in Mr. Baggins and it surely did not seem that nothing had happened while you've been working there."
"He's been through more than you can imagine, so he talked to me, told me everything that had happened so he would not have to bear it all alone. Now if you please, tell me what you were before you turned to your horrid obsession with gossip."
Lily sighed, knowing she was defeated in the argument. She sat up properly and began to pour some tea for the both of us. I picked up my cup and sipped from it gingerly, waiting for the boiling liquid to cool.
"Well, I wanted to talk to you about father after you left."
"Whatever for? The fact that he hated me and was glad I left?" I did not like the thought of my father even though I knew he was dead not easily coming back to us.
"He was sad some time after you left, he missed you."
"What could possibly make you think that?"
"Because a few instances I walked into our room and found him staring at your bed, his eyes welling with tears."
"That could have meant several things, many which do no involve my absence." My voice was raise when I said it and I regretted speaking in such a manner to her.
Lily was silent for some time, only speaking up after I had dropped my head to look at the table and sipped at my tea again.
"He spoke to me about you once, telling how much he loved you and how he wished you hadn't left." Her voice was soft and meek, scared to be heard.
"Did he say why he treated me the way he did?" I said coldly, not willing to accept this view of my father.
"He said that you reminded him of mum and that your personality reminded him so much of her that he wished she had not died, but that could never come true. So he decided to try to break your spirit so you would not remind him so much of mum, but you became stronger, defying him more, just as mother would act."
Everything she said made sense, making me the creator of my own misery. I laid my arms down on the table, burying my face within their safety. I wanted to cry out, knowing that while I had seen my father as a hateful man, he was trying to relieve his own pain while I was only aggravating it.
A hand came softly on my back, rubbing in circles and I glanced up to see Lily sitting next to me. She reached around to my other shoulder and squeezed my shoulders. I leaned into her touch, trying to find some comfort.
Time passed slowly, and the food that Lily had worked to prepare for me was never touched through the whole afternoon. She let go of me slowly, still staring at into my eyes. I sat up straight, glancing out of the window to see the sun falling in the sky. I stared down at my hands for a second, then stood up, moving away from the kitchen.
"Thank you for having me for tea, but I must be going. I promised Rosie I would help with making dinner." Lily stood too and walked me to the front door. I gave her a final hug before departing to Bag End.
The rest of the evening, I remained quiet, hoping that this would relieve my sorrow, but the Gamgees noticed my sudden solemn disposition and so I retreated to my room early.
The following afternoon, Rosie came to me after I had finished my chores for that time. She sat down on the chair next to me.
"Is something the matter?" she asked, true sincerity coming through in her question.
"No. Why do you ask?" I questioned her, setting down my book. I watched her as she showed signs of concern with her features.
"You seem out of sorts is all."
"Well, I'm fine."
She folded her hands in her lap and sighed, looking up at me. "Why don't Frodo and you go for a walk? It's a nice day and he's been very withdrawn lately, more so than usual or at least within the latter weeks."
"That sounds lovely, but are you certain you can spare me?"
"I'm sure we can manage for the afternoon," she said, a bright grin rising on her lips.
"I'll see if Frodo is up to going out." I stood up and walked to Frodo's study, knocking lightly on the door despite the fact that I was always welcome in his study.
"Come in," I heard him call. I entered and stood near the door, managing only to stare at the floorboards under my feet. "Yes, Mira?" he asked.
I glanced up, seeing that he was fully turned around in his chair, facing me. "Would you care to take a walk with me? It's a nice day out and it's a shame to be cooped up in here."
"I'd like that. You came at a fortunate time for I'm nearly finished with my book." I walked closer to him as he turned to face his desk. I peered over his shoulder at the firm script that covered the pages. He picked up the left hand pages, flipped through them until he came to the front cover and secured it shut.
"It looks as though you're done with it."
"There's still room for a little more." Frodo eased out of his chair and walked to the door, holding it open and waiting for me to pass through it. I walked through the house and out the front door, waiting for Frodo to catch up to me.
"Is there anywhere you would like to go?" he asked, walking quite close to me.
"There is one spot I would like to visit," I said, glancing over at him briefly. Slowly, I took his hand in mine and walked down the valley. We crossed the river and walked alongside it until we reached a spot where the bank was rather deep and large rocks lined the sides. I crawled down, taking care not to mess my clothes. I found on particularly large rock, big enough for Frodo and myself to sit on comfortably. He followed me closely, faltering in his steps a little, but making it down and sitting next to me when he had finally reached where I was. I gathered up the hem of my skirt and set my feet in the cool water, enjoying the soothing sensation it sent through me. Frodo followed suit, setting his legs in the water and placing his arms behind him, leaning back and enjoying the mild air.
"What troubles you?" Frodo said, barely breaking the serenity of the fresh country sounds.
"Nothing." I responded.
"I can see it in you. Something about your tea with Lily yesterday has made you distraught."
I sighed, knowing there was no way I could escape from this. "Lily told me of how my father really cared for me by trying to form me into someone who did not remind him of my mother. But every time he tried to break me, I would come back stronger, forcing him to be reminded of my mother more."
"This is not your fault," he said calmly, moving his hand to rest over mine.
"I cannot help but think that my insistence caused all of my suffering."
"You did not know of the situation and did what was needed to survive. It is not your fault. Please do not punish yourself for these actions." Frodo's hand now stroked my hand in a comforting manner, stilling my fears slightly.
I turned to look at him, seeing him stare solemnly into the water.
"What troubles you?" I asked him. He shook his head quickly, breaking from his trance.
"Many things," he whispered, his focus still lying under the surface of the lake.
"It's the ring, isn't it?" I asked him, knowing the ring plagued his mind every hour despite having told me everything about his journey.
"Yes." His voice was soft and hoarse, barely above a whisper.
"It's gone now, destroyed forever, something which every living thing in this world owes its life to you for."
"But the horrors still dwell within my mind. There's no rest for me. Writing my book helped to relieve some pain, as did telling you my story, but there is still so much that lingers within my mind, haunts me and will never leave."
I moved closer to him, leaning on his shoulder, hoping to comfort us both somehow. "Is there anything that can be done to give you peace?"
"I do not know." I could tell he was keeping something from me, but I knew it was useless to question him in his fragile state of mind. I curled up closer to him, wrapping an arm around his waist as I resting my head on his shoulder. He slid his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to his body. I stared out over the river and sighed as he held me.
A gentle rocking stirred me from a light slumber. I opened my eyes slowly, blinking as the light filtered into my mind. I stared up to see Frodo's face smiling down at me, brushing his hand over my forehead. I lifted my head from his lap and sat up, gazing at Frodo as he looked at me.
"You've been asleep for some time and I thought it was about time we head back."
"Please forgive me for falling asleep, but last night I could not sleep and your shoulder was so soft and inviting for sleep."
Frodo chuckled lightly and stood up. "It's quite all right. I enjoyed the fresh air." He extended his hand towards me and I took it, lifting myself off of the ground. I brushed my skirt off and Frodo began to help me up the bank.
As we walked back to Bag End, nothing was said. I held his hand, stroking the back of it with my thumb, and then I leaned on his shoulder, wanting to comfort him in some way.
When we reached the green door to Bag End, we stood outside for a bit, watching as the sun laid its last light over the terrain. Slowly, I turned to face Frodo. I searched his eyes, trying to find his soul, find his pain and find a way to heal that pain. I leaned in closer to him, feeling his soft breath brush against my face. I kissed him gently, feeling warmth spread through my body as I did, feeling my fears melt away. He returned my kiss lightly as I wrapped my arms around his body. I buried my head into his neck and shoulder as I felt him encircle his arms around my body.
The moment lasted for an instant and forever at the same time. We parted and headed inside. I was filled with new hope. I watched Frodo walk to his study, then went to the kitchen where I greeted Rosie cordially and began my work in making dinner.
~*~
Okay, sorry for the huge wait, but I've been busy and I was stuck on this chapter for the longest time. And for all of those who were wondering, I had fun on my trip. Hopefully the next chapters will be out sooner, but I can't guarantee anything. Also, this is coming to a close and quickly. I want to write another fic, but I have no ideas for it. I have a parody sitting around that I like to work on when I need a pick me up, but I want to work on an angsty thing. So yeah, I guess I'm trying to ask if anyone would be interested in that. Have fun ya'll
Mirielle: yeah, I know that the Fairbairn family is actually a descendant of the Gamgees, but I don't want to go back and change it this late in the game. Thanks for the thought though ;)
Tobias Tolkien: umm...if you've read the books ten time, are you counting all three of them? Because maybe you should go read the last three chapters again. Lobellia gives Bag End back to Frodo and he lives there for a while....check your facts before you criticize please
Lady Chatterly: thank you for your reply. Very encouraging.
Evildiabolicalbunny: niice on the fake concern for the death of Mira's father...
