Major Houlihan sat down next to Jo. "I know that it's been rough here for you since Lieutenant MacNeil died. Some of the nurses and doctors have expressed concern that you're spending too much time working. I admired your dedication, Lieutenant, but it's important for you to get some rest. I've arranged for three days of R&R for you."
"I don't understand," Jo said, confused. "Is there something wrong with my work?"
"No, Lieutenant. You're doing excellent work, especially considering your limited rest."
"Then why are you sending me away?"
"R&R is a privilege, not a punishment, Lieutenant."
"How is it a privilege to be all alone in a city I don't know?" Jo cried.
"Lieutenant!" shouted the exasperated Major. "If you don't see it as a privilege, then don't go!" She threw her hands in the air and walked out of the tent.
Jo groaned inwardly as she walked into Colonel Potter's office. On one side of the desk sat the Colonel, and on the other, Major Houlihan.
Stiffly, Jo saluted her superiors until her commanding officer spoke those two magical words: "At ease."
"Have a seat, Lieutenant," he told her and at his encouragement, Jo eased herself into a chair.
"Lieutenant," Major Houlihan jumped in, "I'm sure you know why you're here..."
"Major," Colonel Potter interjected, "if you don't mind, I'd like to start this meeting."
"Oh, yes. Of course, sir," she said and paused. "It's just that I don't think that Lieutenant Avery understands that it is a privilege to..." She trailed off as the Colonel cleared his throat.
"Lieutenant," he began, "is it true that you turned down three days R&R?"
Jo blushed. "With all due respect, sir, I'd rather stay here, where I can be useful."
"I don't want to overlook the work you do here. You are a fine nurse, Lieutenant. But, you're no good to anyone if you aren't getting enough rest. Even the best professionals need to sleep some of the time. From what I've been told that the last thing you do around here."
"Colonel, as I've already reported to you, Lieutenant Avery is often helping out in post op in the middle of the night. The other nurses who..."
The Colonel cleared his throat again. "Major," he warned.
"Please sir," Jo pleaded. She was beginning to feel panicked. "I promise to get more rest."
The minute the words left her mouth Jo didn't believe them, and she could tell Colonel Potter didn't either. Even if she fully intended to rest, it was not a promise she could make. In Tokyo, and even in Seoul, she would not be obligated to work long shifts. Here, however, so close to the front, anything could happen and anything often meant long surgical shifts for all the staff.
"Lieutenant," the Colonel replied slowly and carefully, "I'll let you stay, provided that you get adequate rest. If I don't think you're taking care of yourself, I'll order you to take this R&R."
"But Colonel!" Major Houlihan cried out.
"Thank you, sir," Jo exclaimed, before either the Major or the Colonel could say anything else.
"Colonel," the Major protested again.
"That will be all Major, thank you," he said and Major Houlihan stood and left the office.
Jo could feel the blood returning to her limbs and realized for the first time how cold she had been feeling. She stood up and turned to leave the room.
"Ah, Lieutenant," Colonel Potter called her back. "I don't usually put much stock in rumours or idle gossip, but I think you should know that you are the object of a lot of speculation. Many people are saying that you..."
"Yes, sir, I've heard those rumours too," Jo interrupted. "I assure you that they are just rumours."
"Thank you Lieutenant. I know it's none of my business, but just a friendly word of advice, these sorts of rumours aren't the sorts of things that a nice girl like you should get mixed up in."
************************************************************************
Dear Victoria,
They must think I am crazy here, passing up the opportunity to see Tokyo and take three days R&R. Sometimes I wonder if I really am. Not so long ago I would have given anything to get out of this place. Now I'm afraid to leave. When I first got here, I thought I would never get used to being here, but now there is something strangely comforting and familiar about this place. I am terrified of leave this place and these people. I have enough trouble trying to catch a few hours sleep here, where I know my bed (and all its lumps) and my tent mates. What if something happened to the people here and I was gone? I don't know if I could live with that.
************************************************************************
Hawkeye sat down next to her at the mess tent table, his tray clattering down in front of him.
"So, what's your favourite story?"
Jo looked up, startled and confused by his question. "Are you sure we should be sitting together?" she asked.
"If we start avoiding each other, people really will think there is truth to the rumours."
Jo didn't respond. Instead she forced down an unidentifiable mouthful of grey.
"I think my favourite story," Hawkeye continued happily as though Jo weren't trying to ignore him, "is that you were kidnapped by the enemy and I disobeyed orders, went AWOL and rescued you." Jo continued to look out the screen as she shovelled another spoonful into her mouth, swallowing quickly so she wouldn't have to taste it. "On the other hand, there's a certain charm about the story..." Hawkeye trailed off when Jo put her cutlery on her tray and stood up. "Leaving so soon?"
Jo began to walk away, but turned back. "I like the one about me having to save you from the Chinese."
************************************************************************
I'm afraid to stay too, Victoria. I am changing here. Every day here is another day filled with dying and sadness. I am afraid that I am losing who I am, or maybe it is just who I was. I was foolish to think that I could come here and leave unchanged by the experience. I read your letters and I am reminded of the girl that I once was and the woman I was expected to be. I am not that person anymore, Victoria. For better or for worse, I am different.
************************************************************************
Jo tossed and turned in her bed until an irate "Shh!" made its way to her from across the room. It had been a long day running from one patient to the next, trying to avert disasters. Behind their lids, her eyes ached with tiredness. But sleep still only came in short bouts filled with horrific images. Often at night, Jo would keep her eyes open, staring into the dark because nothingness was more desirable than her nightmares. Every night though, sleep seemed to find a way to take over, even if only for a little while, and Jo found herself waking in a sweat.
As quietly as she could, Jo rolled onto her side and tried to get some sleep. All eyes had been on her during her shift and it seemed as though news of her turning down three days R&R had overtaken the rumours about her and Hawkeye. The whole camp was watching her, or so it seemed, making sure she was eating enough, resting enough... Jo felt like a child with dozens of watchful parents. She knew that they meant well, but it was hard enough to sleep without anyone keeping track of how many hours she spent dreaming.
"Hawkeye!" Jo hissed as loudly as she dared, crouching down outside the Swamp. She had waited for the roommates' breathing to fall into the familiar pattern of sleep before she had snuck out of the tent and over to the Swamp.
"Wha?" Hawkeye mumbled loudly.
Jo flinched, hoping no one had heard. "Shh," she warned. "Hawkeye, it's Jo."
Hawkeye muttered something about sleep and then asked, "Who?"
"Jo," she repeated. "I'm sorry to wake you. It's just that it's important. I don't know who I can ask."
"What is it?" Hawkeye asked and Jo knew he was fully awake.
"Hawkeye, I need a favour."
"I don't understand," Jo said, confused. "Is there something wrong with my work?"
"No, Lieutenant. You're doing excellent work, especially considering your limited rest."
"Then why are you sending me away?"
"R&R is a privilege, not a punishment, Lieutenant."
"How is it a privilege to be all alone in a city I don't know?" Jo cried.
"Lieutenant!" shouted the exasperated Major. "If you don't see it as a privilege, then don't go!" She threw her hands in the air and walked out of the tent.
Jo groaned inwardly as she walked into Colonel Potter's office. On one side of the desk sat the Colonel, and on the other, Major Houlihan.
Stiffly, Jo saluted her superiors until her commanding officer spoke those two magical words: "At ease."
"Have a seat, Lieutenant," he told her and at his encouragement, Jo eased herself into a chair.
"Lieutenant," Major Houlihan jumped in, "I'm sure you know why you're here..."
"Major," Colonel Potter interjected, "if you don't mind, I'd like to start this meeting."
"Oh, yes. Of course, sir," she said and paused. "It's just that I don't think that Lieutenant Avery understands that it is a privilege to..." She trailed off as the Colonel cleared his throat.
"Lieutenant," he began, "is it true that you turned down three days R&R?"
Jo blushed. "With all due respect, sir, I'd rather stay here, where I can be useful."
"I don't want to overlook the work you do here. You are a fine nurse, Lieutenant. But, you're no good to anyone if you aren't getting enough rest. Even the best professionals need to sleep some of the time. From what I've been told that the last thing you do around here."
"Colonel, as I've already reported to you, Lieutenant Avery is often helping out in post op in the middle of the night. The other nurses who..."
The Colonel cleared his throat again. "Major," he warned.
"Please sir," Jo pleaded. She was beginning to feel panicked. "I promise to get more rest."
The minute the words left her mouth Jo didn't believe them, and she could tell Colonel Potter didn't either. Even if she fully intended to rest, it was not a promise she could make. In Tokyo, and even in Seoul, she would not be obligated to work long shifts. Here, however, so close to the front, anything could happen and anything often meant long surgical shifts for all the staff.
"Lieutenant," the Colonel replied slowly and carefully, "I'll let you stay, provided that you get adequate rest. If I don't think you're taking care of yourself, I'll order you to take this R&R."
"But Colonel!" Major Houlihan cried out.
"Thank you, sir," Jo exclaimed, before either the Major or the Colonel could say anything else.
"Colonel," the Major protested again.
"That will be all Major, thank you," he said and Major Houlihan stood and left the office.
Jo could feel the blood returning to her limbs and realized for the first time how cold she had been feeling. She stood up and turned to leave the room.
"Ah, Lieutenant," Colonel Potter called her back. "I don't usually put much stock in rumours or idle gossip, but I think you should know that you are the object of a lot of speculation. Many people are saying that you..."
"Yes, sir, I've heard those rumours too," Jo interrupted. "I assure you that they are just rumours."
"Thank you Lieutenant. I know it's none of my business, but just a friendly word of advice, these sorts of rumours aren't the sorts of things that a nice girl like you should get mixed up in."
************************************************************************
Dear Victoria,
They must think I am crazy here, passing up the opportunity to see Tokyo and take three days R&R. Sometimes I wonder if I really am. Not so long ago I would have given anything to get out of this place. Now I'm afraid to leave. When I first got here, I thought I would never get used to being here, but now there is something strangely comforting and familiar about this place. I am terrified of leave this place and these people. I have enough trouble trying to catch a few hours sleep here, where I know my bed (and all its lumps) and my tent mates. What if something happened to the people here and I was gone? I don't know if I could live with that.
************************************************************************
Hawkeye sat down next to her at the mess tent table, his tray clattering down in front of him.
"So, what's your favourite story?"
Jo looked up, startled and confused by his question. "Are you sure we should be sitting together?" she asked.
"If we start avoiding each other, people really will think there is truth to the rumours."
Jo didn't respond. Instead she forced down an unidentifiable mouthful of grey.
"I think my favourite story," Hawkeye continued happily as though Jo weren't trying to ignore him, "is that you were kidnapped by the enemy and I disobeyed orders, went AWOL and rescued you." Jo continued to look out the screen as she shovelled another spoonful into her mouth, swallowing quickly so she wouldn't have to taste it. "On the other hand, there's a certain charm about the story..." Hawkeye trailed off when Jo put her cutlery on her tray and stood up. "Leaving so soon?"
Jo began to walk away, but turned back. "I like the one about me having to save you from the Chinese."
************************************************************************
I'm afraid to stay too, Victoria. I am changing here. Every day here is another day filled with dying and sadness. I am afraid that I am losing who I am, or maybe it is just who I was. I was foolish to think that I could come here and leave unchanged by the experience. I read your letters and I am reminded of the girl that I once was and the woman I was expected to be. I am not that person anymore, Victoria. For better or for worse, I am different.
************************************************************************
Jo tossed and turned in her bed until an irate "Shh!" made its way to her from across the room. It had been a long day running from one patient to the next, trying to avert disasters. Behind their lids, her eyes ached with tiredness. But sleep still only came in short bouts filled with horrific images. Often at night, Jo would keep her eyes open, staring into the dark because nothingness was more desirable than her nightmares. Every night though, sleep seemed to find a way to take over, even if only for a little while, and Jo found herself waking in a sweat.
As quietly as she could, Jo rolled onto her side and tried to get some sleep. All eyes had been on her during her shift and it seemed as though news of her turning down three days R&R had overtaken the rumours about her and Hawkeye. The whole camp was watching her, or so it seemed, making sure she was eating enough, resting enough... Jo felt like a child with dozens of watchful parents. She knew that they meant well, but it was hard enough to sleep without anyone keeping track of how many hours she spent dreaming.
"Hawkeye!" Jo hissed as loudly as she dared, crouching down outside the Swamp. She had waited for the roommates' breathing to fall into the familiar pattern of sleep before she had snuck out of the tent and over to the Swamp.
"Wha?" Hawkeye mumbled loudly.
Jo flinched, hoping no one had heard. "Shh," she warned. "Hawkeye, it's Jo."
Hawkeye muttered something about sleep and then asked, "Who?"
"Jo," she repeated. "I'm sorry to wake you. It's just that it's important. I don't know who I can ask."
"What is it?" Hawkeye asked and Jo knew he was fully awake.
"Hawkeye, I need a favour."
