I know that it sounds childish to start a diary like this and to be honest I have never ever written a diary before…well, actually this isn't a diary either, it's just that I can't take it any longer and I have to get rid of all these feelings and horrible, humiliating memories. If I can write them down and burn them once this diary is finished I might be rid of them. Be able to forget them.
Oh, don't get me wrong, actually, my life is quite okay. There's nobody abusing me or something like that. I've got friends whom I can trust and a loving family…the problems I have are much more ordinary than you might expect.
Okay, let's get started while the going is still good.
Since I've arrived here in Hogwarts my life has taken the most interesting twists and turns…and I'm still confronted with the most ridiculous problems…love, for example. I don't know, it sounds childish, but there is this boy in my year…and I really have liked him for ages…it's complicated. That's why I thought it might be a good idea to write it down…to sort things out and to get a clear head and then to forget about it… make it gone for good. I guess if anybody ever got to read this they might be absolutely confused…I'm not really into writing, well I'm good at writing scientific stuff and such but nothing like this…a good thing that nobody but me will get hold of this book.
For one thing, there is Ron. I really, really care for him…and maybe even love him. You see, we've been an item for more than 2 years now and we get along well with each other…he does a lot for me and I don't really care that he doesn't have much money and that he is not one of the best looking blokes in school…I'm not good looking either, so who cares? My hair is too bushy, I'm not thin, in fact, I have gained quite some weight during the summer…but I'm not really interested in my looks. I think, I'm average and that's okay, don't you agree?
Anyways, I really like Ron and I don't want to lose him, but, you see, there's this other boy in my year. Draco Malfoy. Yes, indeed, Draco Malfoy. I cannot believe I'm writing this down.
If he ever found out…oh, sure, he already knows that much…but if he ever found out about all of it…I even blush only thinking about it.
It all started in my fourth year at Hogwarts. I never had much to do with Draco Malfoy. He was and probably still is a conceited, sneaking bully. He made my life (and Ron and Harry's lives) a living hell, calling me names and such…but, he is a handsome, conceited, sneaking bully. I didn't fall for him. I just found him attractive…good-looking. Nothing else. But he'd never ever look at me. In his opinion I'm a mudblood. Unworthy and filthy. Well, if I were a beauty, I might have been able to make him love me…but there are so may girls with better looks…but I have to admit…I was interested in him and that's why I started sending him anonymous letters. And this is, where the story begins.
