Failure
*(*
As soon as I saw blood I knew something is terribly wrong. Jet put live ammo in the damn gun, after I told him twice to put in the tranquilizers. I don't know what to do; I don't know who to confide in. Jet or Vicious, I don't know how it came down to decide between these two, but it happened. Vicious is lying face down on the cold bebop floor, Princess whimpers in the background…this is all fucking wrong.
"Jet…that is live ammo…" I could barely form words. I had just shot Vicious, after going through all that I went through I end up shooting him. But, if I didn't shoot him, then he would have killed Jet. Then again, if I didn't bring Vicious to bebop or if we never tracked him down in the first place this could have all been avoided. Right? Damnit why does this always have to happen to me?
"And your point is Faye, he could have killed us he already killed Spike!" He is right, he could have killed us, but for some reason I wont picture him in my head killing me, that is a road I don't want to venture down. I betrayed Vicious, as unintentionally as anyone could, I still betrayed him. And I feel…I feel like nothing will be the same. I should just leave it at that…leave Vicious to the ISSP. I still want to yell and hit Jet with all my might, but I cant, I just walk away like a damned idiot going to get the gauze. Looks like I am playing nurse again. Without another word I turn and run into the main room and search for the first aid kit, which I myself had organized and restocked two years ago….two years ago ha. I turn to walk back into the hangar and I see princess is getting pretty pissed off at Jet.
"Faye what in the hell is this dog?!" He asks as he picks up the gun I dropped and aims it at the approaching Princess. Ok, that is it, no one I mean no one aims a gun at my dog…even if I hate dogs, she is still mine.
"Jet if you don't put that gun down right now I will let your other hand bleed to death." I yell as Prin looks at me and scampers away through the door behind me retreating into the recesses of Bebop's dark halls. I feel like screaming and pulling my hair when I see Vicious' body, on the floor covered in blood…it's my fucking fault too.
"Faye what has gotten into you?" I don't answer I just hand Jet half the roll of gauze as I take off Vicious' shirt and attempt to take the slug out of the right side of his well toned scarred chest. My hands dripping in his warm blood, the tweezers find something foreign and metal as I pull.
"Oh I get it. You want the money so you can get a new zip craft. That is why you are so sore that the bullets were live. You know what Faye you can be real shallow." I stop and stand up, my hands covered in Vicious' claret blood as I throw the slug from his body at the feet of Jet. Something snapped. That is it, I should be doing this for me, not for Jet, not for Spike, not for Vicious. Me! This whole bounty chase I have been ignoring that fact. All I need is my 10 million woolong share so I can start over.
"You know what Jet? I am doing this for the money; nothing else. Not for you, not for Spike and not for Vicious. I am being selfish!" My fists are clenched my emerald eyes narrow into slits that have never been seen before. I doubt I have ever looked at Jet this way, If I had a gun in my hand right now I would have emptied the clip into the floor of Bebop already. I have things to take care of though; as soon as I am done bandaging up Vicious I will do the same to Jet. After all I know how lonely one feels when they are bandaging themselves up alone.
"You are a bitch! I am doing this for Spike and all you can think of is money!" Jet seems a little shaken about the whole thing, I can see why. I have changed in the past…I don't even know how many days…but I have changed. Perhaps I have been wrong about the past few days, perhaps not. It doesn't matter I am worrying about one person now, me. Jet is wrong this time, not Faye Valentine. I sigh, a heavy sigh, as I wrap the last layer of bandages around Vicious' chest. I looked at his face, hard, stony, and frowning as if he has been iced over. But I don't care…not anymore…I look up to Jet and walk to him slowly while lowering Vicious gently on his back. I smile slightly and take the gauze and wrap his hand, the gash that Vicious' scarlet katana made was an incredibly nasty one, although miraculously Jet still had five fingers. Vicious' katana lied on the floor next to him.
"Spike…you know…that cat story he told you, we are those owners he 'didn't care for.' Why go through life trying to catch the killer of Spike when he wanted to die in the first place? You have got it all wrong Jet, The only person in life you should look out for is yourself." I looked deep into his eyes to get my point across; my voice brassy with unspoken resentment.
"Faye, if I wanted to look out for only myself…I would have never met Spike or Ed or even you. If we were meant to only look out for ourselves then what is the fucking point?" We stood after that both silent. Seems as if I am running in a circle…
"By the way when are we taking off?" I asked changing the subject as best as I could. I looked up into Jet's gray brown eyes again. The thing that bothers me is that Jet almost killed Vicious. Jet isn't a killer, Jet is a cop, and the stunt he pulled back there was very out of character. Did Spike really mean that much to him? I mean…I know Vicious killed Spike, perhaps, that sent Jet over the edge.
"Bebop's thrusters are acting up again; I have to warm up the engine an hour so we can take off." He chuckled and ran his mechanical arm through his thinning black hair. "C'mon Faye we got to tie Vicious up before he wakes up." Ever since the time the Syndicate attacked us before Spike left, Bebop has never been the same. Bebop periodically doesn't start, or stalls, or just simply quits. I know the feeling. I look at Jet again; he seems so different, so shaken. I think the threads that are holding all of us together are being unraveled one by one.
He uses his mechanical arm to sling Vicious haphazardly over his shoulder and walks into the main room. Although I don't know what Jet has in store for Vicious, tying him up is a good idea. I really don't know how Vicious will be when he comes to.
I walked into a small room where tools were stored near the hangar. I look past the tools, past the old engine parts, artillery and ammunition. I recall now that this was the room that Spike was in when I was going to tell him about Julia. That seems like a lifetime ago, Spike, is a memory. No matter how I try to tell myself over and over he didn't like me, and that it doesn't matter; it hurts. It hurts like a stab wound that never healed. I look under the table in a box and see the two pairs of hand-cuffs that I pulled a 'Houdini' out of. I blew the dust off and walked from the room to the living room where we chained Vicious' arms spread apart on either side. It reminds me of an execution. I gulp inwardly; I am nervous…when Vicious wakes up things will not be the same.
The only thing constant is change and scotch.
"I am going to my room." I say to Jet as my heels make little clanks on the metal hull into the revolving hallway. I went into my room, a room that does not feel like mine anymore, and looked at everything. The TV, the Beta player, the cassette-tape, my one picture of Bebop and my extra glock all adorn my room with an empty essence. The one picture of Bebop is actually some sort of image that Ed captured with her tomato and then downloaded; it isn't like a film or digital camera. I pick up the picture and look at it as I sit on my bed. Spike is off to the side and Jet and I are in the middle. Ed and Ein are off to the left, opposite Spike, dramatically posing. I am smiling, my emerald eyes glimmering; Jet's arms are crossed and he is barely grinning. Spike, of course, the 'I don't care about anything' look on his face, actually it's his profile; he is just looking away as if he never really wanted to be with us in the first place.
"It's a nice picture of you Spike." I mutter sarcastically. I slump down on my bed and stare up at the ceiling; my eyes are cloudy with uncertainty. From outside my door I hear Ed talking; I guess to Ein, who else would she talk too? She opens the door and I am mildly surprised Ed and Ein and Princess standing all around Ed with her Tomato on her head. All three of them are barking. I sigh before Ed leaps from her spot and lands on the bed almost sending me flying from it onto the cold floor.
"Edward has missed Faye-Faye sooo much! Ed loves her souvenir doggy-dog." Ed is still her normal self for the most part, and although I'd rather stick needles in my eyes than admit this to anyone, but she isn't all that bad. Prin seems to like her alright.
I cant really find words to say back, except pushing Ed off of me as she summersaults across my room and sits on the floor. I don't know if I love myself, I don't know if I like the way things have turned out. I don't know if Jet is right for trying to kill Vicious or I am right by trying to save him from the syndicate. All I know is that I need to only look after myself now, not anyone else. When you start to worry about other people, you begin to wonder why you do, and that is one Pandora's box I don't want to open.
~*~
Chained. Chained like a damn criminal. I am not a criminal, so what if I killed a few people; that is the backbone of the fucking Syndicate. That is how I grew up, the strong survive and the weak perish. Not to say the physically strong survive, if you have no brain in your thick head you become a pawn, you become someone who is used only to be disposed of when the job is done, I know I have used quite a few. The same of someone who is only mentally intelligent, only instead of being a pawn, you are merely forced into doing things for other people. I also excel in the personal 'persuasion'.
I do not feel strong right now. I do not feel as if I have become someone that the Syndicate deems as 'worthy of praise'. I let that woman betray me, I let this all happen. I let that bitch and the old cop get the upper hand at a game I cannot afford to lose. Why? Why did I let her do this to me? I should have learned my damn lesson with Julia. I should have figured out that Faye would betray me. Now they are on their way to turning me in. Not to an ISSP headquarters, but right to the place I have wanted to go to for so long, the Red Dragon Syndicate main compound. Only, if I allow them to turn me in, it will be all ruined; I will not have the upper hand then either. Shin said he would help me as long as I swore to him I would not take over the Syndicate. I never keep my word unless I see to it that I simply comply with them. I don't know when I kill Blade if I will take back the Syndicate or not. He stole the syndicate from me, but…perhaps…I will just let myself die right after I will kill him, perhaps I will let myself die in the fight.
This is the last time I atone a sin…what in the hell was I thinking?
"So here you are Vicious…It is just you and me now." I don't even look up to acknowledge his presence; scum like him doesn't deserve it. He is just a cop, I hate cops they think they are above the law they protect…hypocrites everyone of the pissants.
"Are you even going to say something? I mean you are my guest of honor." He sneered sweetly as if he is about to interrogate me like a real ISSP cop would. He is the epitome of the 'good guy' he doesn't know when to just quit and lay down. The first thing I do once I free myself will be slicing him into little pieces, put them in a Ziploc bag and then show Faye the price to pay for betraying me. That made me grin the slightest bit.
"Say Something!" I inwardly wince as he punches my wound with his mechanical arm. Blood oozes down my jaw like a red thread. I tilt my head upward and glare icily into his eyes filled with useless anger. He does not know the meaning of true anger, of true hatred, of true anything but preserving the law. He knows nothing of true pain.
"Do not start what you cannot finish." I spit out more blood as he punches me again in my gut, blood seeps through the gauze. I do not care, blood is all but natural to me; the metallic taste in my mouth only reminds me of my duty.
"You don't deserve to live after what you did to Spike! You are a killer a blood thirsty criminal who kills everyone he has ever met without remorse. You don't deserve to walk this world." I chuckle inwardly at his words. The world to him is so black and white, murderer and dead, thief and victim, cheater and cheated. This man standing before me has lost the vision of how the true world really is…shades of gray like the tombstones in a graveyard. It doesn't matter that they died; it's what they did to get there.
"Look at the position you are in right now. To me you are nothing but a naïve hypocrite who cant let the dead stay dead. Spike died, not only because of me, but Julia and himself also brought him down. You think the world is black and white? You cant be anymore wrong. Right now, you are the bloodthirsty one, looking to spill ill-gotten blood in memory of a guy who killed people also… what a wasted cause." Not one second after those words left my lips did his fist land against my jaw, spraying blood onto the floor. He was about to do it again when I saw through my bangs the figure of Faye come hurrying in from wherever the hell she was. Her emerald eyes were aflame with irritation and pain.
"Jet stop it! Please…I cant take it." I hear her voice plea. The cop stopped and walked away wordlessly, fuming because he knows I am right. Faye, what an idiot she is, she thinks that Jet was 'hurting' me. I look at her through my bangs with an empty stare. She shot me and she thinks that a few weak slaps could faze me.
"Don't look at me like that it wasn't like I knew the gun had live ammo!" She yells back at me pissed. So what if she fucking is? She would have shot the gun anyway if she knew, she just has to save the naïve idiot cop. There is only one reason why other people exist and it is to make you wish you are dead.
"Before we reach the Syndicate headquarters I demand my katana and shirt." I state simply, little do they know, however; that I am ever so secretly freeing myself from the handcuffs. Do they really think mere handcuffs and restrain me? Ha, they are more stupid than I realize, especially Faye…
"You aren't going to the Syndicate, you are going to jail!" She sneered as she turned on her heel, her violet hair swishing around as she turned. So, this is the missing puzzle piece, she thought I am going to jail? I would make any jail a living hell for everyone. For one, fatal accidents would happen to my roommates far too often. And anyone who tried to make me 'drop my soap' would find their heads permanently cemented to their rectum.
"Are you that stupid? The bounty was put up by Blade to bring me back to the Syndicate. Jail is not going to be one of my two choices." I look up through my bangs as my eyes slit into splinters of steel. I watch her turn around, her eyes reeling with thoughts. I see her frightfully gasp and run up a flight of steps to where the cop went.
Clink clink clank thunk…clink clink clink thunk
I take my hands from the cuffs and stand up, wiping the satisfying scarlet blood from my jaw. Now it is my turn for revenge… My eyes glow from the sudden joy being able to kill once more.
*(*
-and leaves you lonely-
Well, this chapter…to me is kinda disappointing. Nothing really happened, I know all stories need their filler chapters, but I think I could have done a better job….anyway review and tell me what you think. Next chapter will be lots better…
I am also really sorry to any Ed enthusiasts…Ed is not a big character in this story, even though I really like her character, there is really no where for her to fit…she might be in part II but I don't know.
As for Faye being OOC for the entire fic… To me, you cant really expect Faye to be the same after Spikes death. She trying to heal from Spike and even though Vicious killed him she still warms up to him because she is tired of fending for herself all the time. This will be explained better in the next few chapters.
If Jet was OOC…that is because he hates Vicious pure and simple. In the series, Bebop, you never really see him hate anyone.
OH on a random note I passed my midterms every one including Math!!!! Yay it's a miracle. Its like finding the cure to cancer, landing on Mars, ending world hunger and finding how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop all in one day!
Ok so I exaggerated…its still really cool…
Ok enough stupid rambling…onto R2Rs!
It goes in some random order….not by preference…lets just say by chronological *^^*
And the people who get awards are…*looks in box* well everyone gets a cute gold plated Ein collectable with their name on the stand!
*before I can hand them out Ed crashes through and steals them all* whoops eh *^^*() sorry about that….
Bengali Don't worry, I don't hold grudges…at least not little ones like that. I cant really say what the next chapters will bring considering that I haven't written any in advance. *^^* thanks for reviewing though!
Dj Destiny thanks for the luck…I think it helped a lot! Yeah my stories are on the sad side but the only reason I do that is you can enjoy a happy ending that much better!
Theyreallyloveme Wow thanks for reviewing, I don't really know if Faye is OOC or not…I have looked into that and I will plan to further do so. Thanks for thinking my chapters are awesome…(smiles really large) and you were the only one to comment on my other fic…probably because the reandomness of even putting it there was repelling people but I am glad you like the idea…or at least I think you do… anyway it will be good don't worry! *^^*
Insomni-maniac Yes another famous Insomni review, like I said the last times, your reviews are definitely not lacking in the creative department which I find super! Oh and I am waiting on those rainbow chip cupcakes…my family hasn't been grocery shopping for junk food in a while XP *takes any and all illegal drugs away from insomnia* no touchies! And to anyone who thinks that OD on sleeping pills is ok should really see some sort of shrink… I know you are just kiddin though *looks for insomnia while chasing her over wire fence* and since you have been such a loyal reviewer I am giving you Vicious
Vicious: you cant give me to anyone…I am just a character in your horrible story
LOH: *whacks him with a frying pan* that's what you get for saying its horrible *hands him over to insomni XD even though I don't own any chars….I merely borrowed Vici.
Pimpin Satan yeah, I was planning to not name the dog, but Sanima told me otherwise….see reviews do influence. Oh do you like to draw? I love to draw….wow I am a dork…sorry..couldnt help it XD Where shin and Lin identical twins O.O…I didn't know that I just thought that Shin was Lins younger brother…thank you for the info! I was also wondering if someone would pick up on the sheer irony of all people being chucked into a dumpster…it's vicious. Thanks for reviewin you always seem to help!
Sanima I'd like to say sorry again…I am such a baka! You also get the largest review award…because when I read it it was monsterous! I jumped for joy when I saw it…yippee! Ihave to admit I am continuously updating because of your evil doughnut threat…that is scary…*hides in a corner* really though I am mean to the characters aren't I? well don't worry…things will work out…or will they? *twilight zone music plays*
Cbdbz247 wow I never really thought anyone would love Vicious and Faye together…cool! Thanx for reviewing!
Zithromax Yeah I was taking midterms so I couldn't update…I had no time to write *stupid highschool* I am glad you like my story I will update more often!
Moonwhisper wow you do not know how much that made me feel good telling me my story is believable…or I believe that is what you are hinting at…XP I am really tying to make this a believable story while putting together two characters who say like two things to each other in the entire series. Thanks soo much for the reviews
Thanx for reading and reviewing… remember reading is the best, you never know what you might find…like chocolate…or romance…or knowledge…or sword wielding psychos…
If I left anyone of R2Rs out please email me or review and get mad at me…
Ja Ne!
~your *slightly insane* ff buddy L.O.H.
