Disclaimer: I own none of these characters or situations. It all belongs to the people who own Alias whoever they may be.

Silence. For years after Laura Bristow's death, Irina had hated silence. It only provided her with time to think about the past and to regret the decisions she had made. There were days she regretted joining the KGB. When she was in an especially bitter mood she regretted the foolish decision she had made the very first day she had met Jack. The shock that went through her body the first time she saw him should have been more than enough warning that, the mission wasn't a good idea. Still her ambition had pushed her forward that day, and it would continue to do so for years to come, until the silences in her life turned from peaceful to painful.

It was why she had taken up meditation; to block out the memories and emotions. Today, even though Jack was still furious with her, Irina was once again comfortable with silence. That didn't mean however, that she wasn't about to break that silence. She and Jack had much to discuss before they reached Stockholm.

Jack, however, spoke up a moment before she did. "What is Sydney's condition? I believe you said Sloane drugged her?"

She nodded, "He's been using a prototype drug on her that his scientists just recently developed." Irina looked up, knowing how her next statement would affect Jack, but determined to remain in control of her emotions as she spoke. Shooting Sydney in Taipei was nothing compared to what Sloane was doing to her precious daughter. "The drug isn't a sedative. It allows the subject to remain fully alert, but it keeps them in a state of complete paralysis. Sloane knows that for Sydney that would be one of the worst things he could do to her." Irina tried to forget the look of terror in her daughter's eyes the last time she had seen her, but somehow she just couldn't. It was a look she suspected she might never forget.

Jack didn't respond, but she could see his knuckles go white as he gripped the arms of the seat tightly and directed his gaze out the window. A moment later he murmured something she didn't quite catch.

"What was that Jack?"

"Why didn't you just kill him?" He repeated louder, meeting her eyes with a challenge, the words hanging blatantly between them.

"I couldn't guarantee her safety," she said simply after a moment.

"You couldn't guarantee Sydney's safety, or you couldn't guarantee your own?" He asked harshly.

Irina moved so fast that Jack didn't even have a chance to react before she slapped him. Jack fingered his face and then to her shock and fury, he laughed. "I hope you weren't planning for us to have to disguise our appearances and sneak in somewhere, Irina. Because a man with a bold hand shaped bruise on his cheek will probably stand out."

Irina was so aggravated with him and furious with herself for being provoked like that, that she considered slapping him again. She settled for letting out a growl of annoyance and ignoring Jack as she stalked to the back of the airplane.

She settled into a meditation pose and concentrated on calming down. This was not going well. For all of her bravado, anger and defiance, she had been counting on Jack's help, his strength, to get her through this. She was more than willing to go through with this plan and to be given to Sloane by Jack in exchange for Sydney, but Arvin Sloane's care would not be pleasant. She wasn't naïve enough to believe that nothing would go wrong with this mission.

She breathed deeply, forcing down panic. She had been so casual with Jack when she had told him she had been a prisoner in Kashmir. The memory of that time could still wrap her in fear and haunt her dreams. For all of her discomfort in the CIA's custody it was like an insect bite compared to a large bullet wound. If Irina was forced to go through that again, well she was strong, but everyone, even her, had their breaking point.

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Jack almost smiled. It seemed as if he had finally found a chink in Irina's armor. He sat there for a moment, enjoying her absence and thinking of ways to use her weakness against her. He'd always had a vindictive streak when it came to her. As much as he hated to admit it, he wasn't angry about the information she had stolen, not really. He couldn't blame her for that, she was simply doing her job, like so many other spies, himself included. No, he blamed her for the death of Laura Bristow, the death of his happiness and the death of his daughter's chance for a happy childhood and now even adulthood.

Suddenly feeling uncomfortable with this new line of thought Jack checked his watch. They had been flying for a while, thankfully and only had an hour or so left. Standing up, Jack noted that Irina seemed to have slipped from meditation to sleep as he stood up to stretch. Walking towards the front of the plane, Jack reacted instinctively when he heard a scream from behind him.

To his surprise he recognized it as Irina. It was only then that he realized she was dreaming. Not wanting to think about what Irina Derevko would consider a nightmare, Jack knelt down beside her ad said sharply, "Irina."

As he had half-expected, one of her fists flailed out towards him. Grateful for the fact that sleep had slowed her blow, Jack caught her fist and said lightly, "Are you trying to give me a matching bruise?"

But to his surprise, instead of laughing or reacting in anger, Irina reached out, her eyes still blurred with sleep and memories, to gently touch his cheek.

"I'm sorry I didn't keep her safe. I'm sorry you have to be here with me. Pter was right."

Surprising even himself, because he knew he would probably never get Irina to talk this freely again, Jack put a finger to her lips. In contrast to his gesture he said coolly, but not without sympathy, "Be quiet Irina. You had a nightmare. Save your confession or explanation until you mean them, not just because you're scared or confused."

He stood up and walked away, each step costing him more than he would have imagined. He couldn't believe what he had just done. Under normal circumstances he would have used any opportunity to get information from her. He had, in fact, been planning just that moments earlier. He just hadn't been able to. Perhaps Irina had been right after all, maybe he was just a fool.

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Irina was confused by a flood of emotions. Fear had been dominant in her mind, when she had woken and there had been Jack. His reaction had surprised her. Twice in only a few hours. It was becoming a habit. She wasn't sure what she wanted now. Hitting him and kissing him both seemed like viable options at the moment. It was probably a good thing Jack had walked away. They had a mission after all and now it was time to focus on that mission. Sometime though, she would get back to Jack. Missions had been controlling her life for far too long.