Snow falls as I watch through the window... I lay down to rest my Mako blue eyes. Too strong to cry. A weakness in itself. Part of me knows that she will never come. I saw her die. Saw him plunge Masamune into her back. I felt the last breath of life escape her. I want to let go. But part of me is too weak to move on. Burning incense leaves swirling patterns imprinted in my mind. Why? I continue to ask myself. Why did he do it? Why did he end her life? What did he have to gain? Still I have faint flashes of steel cross my eyes... Going over it again and again... The plunge from above... The look on her face as she fell... Then... The peacefulness of her end... not a drop of blood was shed... No fear... No pain... Just end.

Again I try to rest... Nanaki and Tifa try to comfort me again, as do they every night... As usual Barrett is no help... he hides behind his physical strength... but his mind is weak... Crippled from the loss of his love... he must be strong for his growing daughter... Yuffie is still trying to get down my pants... she's a bit too young for me... I mean the girl IS strong... don't get me wrong... but I still cant get past Aries... She meant the world to me...

I finally feel myself succumb to sleep... and so gently I drift into my dreamworld.

Again...

Flashes...

Steel..

Peace...

Silence...

I awake feeling empty...

Barrett and Tifa invite me to come over to the bar... I turn them down ill get Cid to rev up the Highwind... I feel like a little gambling... we head south to Gold Saucer and into Chocabo square... I feel a sudden rush of nostalgia... our date... mine and Aries' I mean... she wanted to place my bet... thought it would be fun... so I gave her Five-Hundred Gil to blow... "Meh' I its only pocket change anyway.. I can go to the ATM later"... "What's an ATM?" she asks... Jokingly I reply "Advanced Teller Moogle"... we have a good laugh... my Nostalgia fades to the sound of a lighter... "Hey.. Cid.. You know those are bad for you, right?"... "Hey shut up kid... when you grow to be older than me... you can tell me what to do... but for now.. I need to step outside." he says with a cynical/joking tone..." What ever." I laugh... And for the first time in months. I smile... I try to take in the moment... As much as I can.