CHAPTER FIVE GOODBYE MY SWEET

Mina and Nemo entered the dining room, giving sneaky little glances at one another. They sat down, lit up cigarettes, and both looked at Dorian. He grinned lasciviously.

"Guess who got lucky with the new little lady last night?" he said.

"I thought you were dead," Mina said.

"I thought you were gay," Nemo said at the same time. Mina looked at him. "Dead," he corrected.

Later, Fellauroralisterinavetta lay recovering in her bed. Jekill had left to prepare a tonic for her, and now Tom was at her bedside. He reached down and stroked her beautiful red hair.

"What are you smiling at?" Fellauroralisterinavetta whispered daintily.

"You," Tom said. "Ah feel a sense of kinship with you, for some reason."

"Ditto," came the sweet breathy reply. "After all, we're both so young and beautiful."

"Dayum straight," Tom replied with a grin.

"We rock."

"We kick ass."

"Go us."

"Bossa nova."

"?"

Just then the door burst open. Dorian stood there, gasping, staring at Fellauroralisterinavetta. He glanced at Tom. "Can we have a minute?" he asked.

Tom shrugged. "Sure." He moved to leave, squeezing past Dorian. When he was gone, the Immortal entered the room and closed the door.

"Fellauroralisterinavetta," he began. Then stopped, though for a moment, and moved to her bedside. He dropped to one knee, then realized he couldn't see here from the floor, stood up, and sat beside her on the bed.

"Fellauroralisterinavetta," he said again, "my dear, you have shown me the error of my ways. I will never do bad things again. I will not kill. I will not lie or cheat or steal. I will recycle. I will not cheat on my taxes. As God as my witness, I WILL NOT RE-ELECT BUSH!"

There was great applause and cheering. Dorian and Fellauroralisterinavetta looked around, puzzled, wondering where it was coming from. Then it died off, they both shrugged and looked into each other's eyes.

"What was I saying?" Dorian asked.

"You were telling me how pretty my hair is."

"Ah yes! It's beautiful! Let's make some kids!" With that, he climbed into bed with her and turned out the light.

"What's going on in here!" Mina's voice cut through the darkness and the light came back on. "Dorian!" the child needs her rest! Out! Out!"

Dorian sulked on his way out the door. "Boy, you're unusually bitchy tonight, Mina. I don't find you at all attractive anymore."

She slammed the door on his backside, then turned to her patient. "You need to shut up and get some rest and stop being such a little hobag." With that, she turned on her hell and left in a huff.

Fellauroralisterinavetta rolled onto her side, held her pillow, and sobbed. Mina was such a bitch.

The door opened, and Gekyll entered. He saw his love crying and rushed to comfort her. "What's wrong, my darling?"

"Mina's a meanie."

He sighed, and wrapped his arms around Fellauroralisterinavetta. "There there, I know exactly what you're going through."

"You do?" she asked hopefully, batting her eyes.

Jekall paused, blinking in the breeze caused by her luxuriant lashes. "Well no, but I really want to have sex with you again."

"Whoohoo!" Skinner said from where he was watching, invisible, in the corner.

"Skinner shut up!" Fellauroralisterinavetta and Jekyil roared in unison.

Later they were up on deck. Everyone was enjoying the sun. Tom was shooting at targets. But just then a whale breached and bumped the sub. Skinner fell overboard. "Oh 'eck!" he cried "Oim skinny dipping!"

Without a second through, Fellauroralisterinavetta ran to the rail and used her telekinesis to pull him up out of the water and back on the deck.

"Thanks luv," he said "Oi tawt dat wuz the end o' me!" He groveled at her feet. "Oim your slave for loife!"

"Great," she said wispily. "Meet me in my cabin in two hours for some sweet anachronistic Victorian lovin'."

"'ot damn!"

But the sweet reunion would never occur, because just then, a young boy in a red robe, round glasses, with a scar on his forehead rode overhead on a broom, chasing the red target that Sawyer had just launched into the air.

Harry Potter dove eagerly after the target, mistaking it for the quaffle, and flew right into the line of fire of Tom's rifle.

Fellauroralisterinavetta leapt into the air. She had to save the boy! The gun went off.

BANG

She fell to the deck, blood pouring from her chest. The League flew to her side, gathering around her. Jekyll, Dorian, Tom and Skinner all fought for the right to hold her in their arms as she died.

Nemo was sobbing.

The end.

WAAAAA! It's over! Read and review pls!

SERIOUS MODE: WHEW! That was fun. Weird, but fun. Again, please check out the Mary Sue Litmus test () (add two "w" to the url) and let me know how I did! Flames welcome, it is a Mary Sue, after all. :-D