Disclaimer: No, I do not own A Midsummer Night's Dream.
Showing up ShakespeareCast:
Twentieth Century:
Juliet (twentieth century girl from a long line of desperate Shakespearean actors)
Ben (her brother)
Duncan (her father)
Viola (her mother)
Elizabethan Times:
Jack Turner ( a young actor more interested in troublemaking then anything else)
Will (a slightly foolish young playwright, who turns out to be William Shakespeare himself)
Lucy Turner (Jack Turner's sister and roommate)
Rick Cotton (an actor)
Francis (a flute player living in the room above Jack)
Nell Cotton (Rick Cotton's sister and ancestor of Juliet)
Peter Quincelet (a wannabe playwright and rival of Will's)
The Fairies:
Titania (queen of the fairies)
Oberon (king of the fairies)
Moth (a fairy)
Cobweb (a fairy)
Mustardseed (a fairy)
Peaseblossom (a fairy)
Puck (a spirit/sprite thing)
"What is this twaddle? Shaming the likes of art! How dare he call this a play. HOW DARE HE!!!!!"
"Please, your Majesty, if you would only be calm..." Moth stuttered as she tried desperately tried to calm her mistress, her wings trembling with nerves. She had not been in service long, and was unsure what to do in this sort of bizarre situation. She looked to her senior maids Peaseblossom and Mustardseed for help, but they just shrugged, looking worried. Cobweb, another handmaiden of her own status, gave her a smile and waved her wings slightly in a simple gesture of reassurance.
Queen Titania could not be calmed. Her handmaidens flocked around her playing fairy pipes and singing soothing songs under their breath, but to no avail. The handmaidens exchanged fearful glances. When Titania was angry, everyone suffered.
"That fool of a mortal man, what was his name..." she clicked her fingers in direction of Peaseblossom. "Come on, help me here, what was that foul name? Shakepear, Shakebear..."
"William Shakespeare?" Peaseblossom suggested helpfully.
"Yes, that was it. HOW DARE HE!!!!!!"
"Miss Moth!" a young messenger elf with bright green hair flew in, saw Titania, panicked, and skidded to a sudden halt in mid-air, his wings beating furiously. "Forgive me, my Queen, I was unaware..."
Titania waved her hand dismissively. "Yes, yes, that's nice, you have my forgiveness."
The elf looked visibly shaken. "Miss Moth, King Oberon wishes an audience with you at once. Your cousin will also attend."
Moth was confused. Why would Oberon want to talk to her? Sure, the fact that her cousin Puck was Oberon's henchman might contribute, but still...
Titania glared at her junior handmaiden. She had always had her suspicions that Moth was set up by Oberon as a spy. This seemed to confirm it. "Well!" she said, annoyed. "I'm sure Oberon's dying to hear what you've got to say, run along." Titania made a mental note to deal with her maid later.
Moth zoomed to the King's quarters, the messenger elf at her side. As soon as she reached his throne room she was convinced that the King was planning something. Call it sprite's intuition.
In front of the king, she did her usual curtsy when-
"MOTHY!!! LONG TIME NO SEE!!!" Puck, her cousin and fellow sprite, grabbed her from above in a massive bear hug. "I haven't seen ya in ages, can I offer ya a drink-"
"Please, my dear Puck, you'll suffocate the poor girl!" king Oberon strode towards them, full of self importance. Moth quickly pushed the enthusiastic Puck out of the way and looked up at the handsome king, an embarrassed green blush taking over her face.
"Awww, Oberon, yer highness, she's me cousin and all!" Puck complained, his Cockney accent seeming extremely out of place amongst the upper-class satyrs and nereids which populated Oberon's court. Then again, as a sprite with horns, bright blue and green wings and flaming red hair, he would be out of place no matter where he went. Sprites didn't belong to any particular court; they just drifted from one to the other unless they were formally in service. Titania said Oberon made up that particular loophole so that he could have his beautiful sprite mistresses become her maids to spy on her, while Oberon argued that Titania ordered the loophole written so that her maids could spy on him by becoming his mistresses. Simply not to take sprite maids or mistresses had yet to occur to any of them.
"Yes, well... To get to the point, my dear lady; my wife, the Queen, has laid a curse on one William Shakespeare, and has caused quite a stir in the mortal world."
Oberon's words were all news to Moth. Titania had put a curse on Shakespeare? Suddenly a hysterical woman's voice that both Courts knew only too well rang out so loud dust poured from the rafters.
"I'LL MAKE HIM HAVE WRITER'S BLOCK, AND I'LL MAKE IT LAST FOREVER!!!!!!"
A shocked silence followed. Then a sly smile broke out on Oberon's handsome features. "You see?" Moth nodded, too stunned to utter a word.
Oberon smiled even wider. "I want to annoy Titania for a while. You see, there is a changeling boy in her care that she refuses to impart to me, and that I simply must bring into my order... but to fullfill my plan I need your help, Miss Moth."
Moth nodded, after all, how do you say no to a king? Oberon let out a sly laugh that sent shivers up the spines of all those present, except maybe Puck. "Good. Here is my plan, now listen closely, both of you..."
***********
"I am telling you, Will, the Globe is suffering..."
"Yes, yes, Rick, I know... it's just that I simply can't think of anything lately! I have no muse! None!!!"
Underpaid actor Rick Cotton rolled his eyes. "Playwrights. Always far too dramatic." he mumbled. 'Well, at least we can perform Theseus and Hippolyta, by Master Quincelet...
"What?!? That dolt? He is no playwright!"
Rick sighed and turned to the much younger actor beside him "What art thou smiling for, then?"
Jack Turner grinned, pushing his fiery red hair out of his face. "Oh... nothing."
***************
Juliet Rosenberg, youngest in a long line of Shakespearean actors, slammed her fist on the table. "It's all your fault, you know," she yelled at her parents. "If you would only consider performing plays by other playwrights..."
"Absolutely not! We are Shakespearean actors, Juliet. We perform plays by Shakespeare."
"Yeah, yeah. And he only wrote seven plays. I mean, there are only so many times you can see another production of Titus Andronicus."
Juliet stomped up the stairs, muttering. Everyone seemed to have lost interest in Shakespeare. Infact, they'd lost interest over a good two generations ago. Because of that, the Rosenbergs had been poor for generations.
Yet even so, the Rosenberg Family Shakespeare Company lived in hope that someday people would once again appreciate 'Billy Wobblestick', as Juliet and her brother Ben called him behind their parents' backs.
"Bloody Shakespeare..." she swore, opening the door to her room. Except it wasn't her room anymore. It was a bright, cobble-stoned street, like something out of a historical movie. Juliet was not impressed. "Okay. Who changed the scenery? Wait- is this some bizarre nightmare? Or what? Whatever it is, it's not funny!!!!".
Being a Rosenberg prepares you for the odder things in life.
"What's not funny? I'm not funny. You're definitely not funny, appearing out of nowhere like that. As for the scenery, well... it's always been like this." a cheery voice said behind her. Juliet spun around to see a freckle-faced boy of about sixteen years with a huge grin on his face standing behind her. "You really should watch it, you know. You nearly squashed some poor ratty to death. You should be ashamed of yourself."
That did it. Juliet saw red. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I SHOULD WATCH IT, I'VE BEEN DRAGGED FROM SYDNEY TO GOD-KNOWS-WHERE AND WHO THE HELL ARE YOU ANYWAY AND WHAT IS THIS PLACE AND WHAT THE &*@#$$*%#& AM I DOING HERE?!?"
The strange boy looked hardly taken aback, in fact, he looked rather amused. "You have an interesting vocabulary." he commented. "Firstly, I'm Jack Turner and I live here, secondly, this is London, and don't ask me the Year of Our Lord or anything like that 'cos I don't know it. Thirdly, I don't have a clue who or what you are so it's me who should be doing the questioning. And finally, who are you and where's Sydney?"
Juliet was slightly put out. Most people couldn't stand her outbursts. This boy was the only one who hadn't turned tail and ran as far away from her as possible. "Ummm, okay then... I'm Juliet Rosenberg, and Sydney is... far away from here." After all, what do you say to someone who probably had never heard of Australia in his and her whole entire life?
The boy nodded thoughtfully. "Juliet Rosenberg, right... well, I suppose you'd better come with me then."
"Where to?"
The boy grinned cheerfully. "To the Globe, Cherie. To the Globe." He then ran off down an alleyway. Juliet had no choice but to follow him.
"Hey, wait a second! I mean, don't you think this is a little weird? A girl appearing out of thin air?"
Jack Turner slowed to let her catch up with him. "Nope. My room is above that of three witches, so I'm used to weird stuff. You're probably an apparition or someone who was dragged here by one of their spells. They're not very competent witches. Their spells keep going wrong and odd stuff happens."
"Oh" was all she could say.
*********************
Oberon regarded the girl thoughtfully through his seeing-stone. "Yes... I was right to pick her. She seems more accepting than others of her fate."
Puck fluttered up next to him, his wings beating at a hundred beats per minute. "'er fate, m'lord? Surely yer don't mean to kill 'er?"
Oberon glared at his servant. "IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU COMPLETLY RUINED THE DRAMATIC TENSION!!!! And no, I don't mean to kill her."
"Oh. Rightio, then."
*********************
Two weeks later:
"Alrighty, this is Will, a struggling playwright who needs a life, here's Rick Cotton, Nell Cotton his sister, and Peter Quincelet, also a playwright."
"Ha. He art no playwright near the likes of me." the young man who had been introduced as Will muttered. Jack rolled his eyes.
"Peter and Will are rivals," he explained to Juliet. "They're both as bad as each other, so they don't like each other that much. We're putting on a play by Peter Quincelet called Theseus and Hippolyta soon, so, naturally, Will's a little put-out."
"Oh." replied Juliet. She'd been saying that a lot lately. Her whole brain felt like an elephant had stomped on it and squashed into the mud on the streets outside the Globe. In short, her brain was in overload, and she had a headache. All this time-travel business was too much for her. All the introductions hadn't helped either.
So she turned to the last resort of conversation topics she could think of. "Sooo, Will... Do you have a girlfriend?"
Even historical playwrights with bad dress sense have love lives.
Will's eyes darkened. "Fair lady, I know not what thou means to say, yet I do not have a love, and methinks this is none of thy business anyhow."
"You could have said it in less flowery way, you know." Juliet hissed under her breath. "All the 'thou's and 'thy's. I can barley understand anyone."
"What art thou hissing so, lady?" Rick Cotton inquired.
"You know, thou art really starting to bug me." Juliet retorted. She was amazed by Will's bad dress sense. A white lacy collar and buckle-up shoes? What was he thinking!!!!! He hung around the corners like a little lost boy, glaring at Peter Quincelet like he was the great Enemy of the Universe. It was pathetic.
Nell was sniggering behind Juliet's back, obviously amused by the rather large zit on Juliet's nose. Juliet glared at her. Nell didn't look too good herself, what with her mousy brown hair sticking out all over the place. "Meanie." She hissed.
"Same to thou." Replied Nell helpfully.
"Bitch."
"Cow."
"Idiot."
"Simpleton."
"@$#%^&#%$$&!!!!!!"
"@%$#%$^$#%#$ to thou too!"
"Please, ladies, I implore you..." Begged Will. Too late.
"SHUT UP!!!!!!!!"
"SHUT THY TRAP!!!!!!"
Ah yes, it was an eventful morning.
Juliet's mind, however, was concerned with different matters other then merely annoying the Hell out of Nell Cotton. Jack was right; Will needed to get a life. And she was going to help him get it. She also wanted to punish him for telling her, flowery language or no, to mind her own business. No one showed up Juliet Rosenberg and got away with it. No one.
She voiced her idea to Jack and his sister Lucy that evening at dinner. She'd spent the past two weeks with them, in the room above that of the three eccentric 'witches'. Lucy, who was a good two years younger than Jack, had merely sniffed disapprovingly when Jack had introduced Juliet to her. Juliet didn't know why Lucy and Jack spoke in a modern way, or that no one had commented on her language or how different her clothes were. It was like she belonged to that time, like she was wearing some sort of disguise. Lucy sniffed once again. She obviously didn't agree with her "Get Will a Life" plan.
"Well." she said huffily. "I'm not going to be a part of it. You're wasting time, you should be-"
"Lucy" Jack said warningly. Juliet often couldn't help thinking that Jack and Lucy knew something and weren't telling her. She'd asked Jack about it, but he'd just given her another grin and changed the subject.
"I think it's a good idea," said Jack thoughtfully. "What do you have in mind?"
"Dunno... But I think I could set him up. With... " She fished around in her head for a name. "Nell Cotton?"
"NELL??" yelled Jack. "Yeah, it's cool." he said, after a moment's evaluation. "But how do you want to go about it?"
"Well..." said Juliet. "You know those witches..."
********************
"Okay, so you know what to do." Juliet whispered to Jack. The boy nodded.
"Yup. Sprinkle the love-potion on Nell's eyes, so that she falls in love with the first person she sees."
"That's it. Now, I'll make sure Nell falls asleep, and make sure that Will is the first thing she sees."
"Okay. Good plan."
"Great. See ya."
"Good luck."
"You too, Mr Bond-of-Love."
"Who?"
"Forget it."
Juliet crept up to her 'victim', Nell. The witches had provided her with a simple sleeping potion to make Nell fall asleep. All she had to do was spill it on her. It was a perfect plan. Juliet felt so pleased with herself; she didn't notice Will until she almost ran him over.
"Wilt thou be more careful?" the young man snapped, annoyed. Juliet, shaken by the fact that the one man she wanted to trick was standing right in front of her, for once couldn't find a snappy comeback. It was a rare occasion.
"Hast thou parents?" Will asked. "What are their names?"
"Ummm, Duncan's my dad's name, and my mum's called Viola," answered Juliet, confused.
"Oh... and hast thou brothers or sisters?"
Juliet nodded, still confused. "Yes, I have a brother called Ben."
"Ahhh... Would that be a shortened form of the name 'Benjamin'?"
Juliet shook her head. "No, it's short for Benvolio, actually." she replied.
"Oh..." Will said thoughtfully. "Duncan, Viola, Benvolio, Juliet... My, what strange names these be!"
He walked forward, but Juliet, too confused to move quickly, didn't step out of the way fast enough. They collided, and the potion went all over Will.
"Uh-oh..." gasped Juliet. The gasp quickly turned into a scream of terror! Will was far from being asleep. He was very much awake. The potion hadn't worked in the way Juliet and Jack had planned it to. On the contrary, he had sprouted a donkey's head in place of his actual one.
"BIG uh-oh..." It had been the wrong potion! Will saw his reflection in the mirror, gasped, and fainted dramatically. While Juliet stared at the somewhat altered Will in absolute shock, Jack bounded in.
"Juliet! Listen, Nell's already asleep. I accidentally hit her on the head with a sandbag, and she's kinda out of it. Anyway, no need to use the sleeping potion, I've already put the love juice on her eyes, now all you need is Will... uh-oh."
Juliet winced. "Sorry."
Jack pointed at the fainted Will. "Juliet, is that...
Juliet nodded. "Yeah, 'fraid so. Those witches gave us the wrong potion."
"Uh-oh..."
At that moment, Nell stirred in her sleep. Jack and Juliet exchanged glances. There was nothing for it. "RUN!!!!"
Quickly the two ran and hid behind a store cupboard, and just in time. Nell opened her eyes, sat up, blinked, and her sleepy gaze fell straight on Will. "Oh my..." she sighed. She ran up to Will, who had just come round. "I LOVE THEE!!!!!" she yelled, throwing her arms around Will's neck.
Will, who seemed to have suddenly forgotten about his current stage of metamorphosis due to a severe bump on the head when he fainted, was extremely confused. "Nell, this art extremely sudden... yet I cannot deny that I hath often felt the same way bout thee..."
The newly found loves gazed at each other, starry-eyed. Juliet and Jack left them to it.
*****************
"This does wear off, doesn't it?" Juliet asked her companion as they sat outside the Globe theatre.
The redhead nodded. "Yeah, it should wear off in about an hour or so.
Even the donkey's head should disappear. They'll both fall asleep, and when they wake up, the spell will be lifted. The witches said so."
"Do we trust these witches? I mean, look what happened to Will when I spilt the potion on him..."
Jack shrugged carelessly. "Why shouldn't we trust them? After all, the potions worked perfectly well, didn't they? They were just mixed up."
Juliet couldn't say anything against that logic. Luckily she was spared from answering, as at that moment Will came through the door, looking slightly flustered and minus the donkey's head. Juliet grinned knowingly at him.
"Well, how are you?" she asked, winking at him.
Will shook his head as if he wanted to clear it. "Strange visions have I seen..." he said to himself. "I thought I had... I thought I was in... yes, tis a strange dream I did have... This giveth me inspiration for a play!"
Both Juliet and Jack were notably stunned.
"Yes!!" Will yelled, dancing around on the spot with happiness. "This dream, this heavenly vision, this... I shall write this work, and, as it is so close to Midsummer, it shall be known as 'A Midsummer Night's Dream', by William Shakespeare!"
Now Juliet was even more stunned. "Billy Wobblestick, well how about that..." she said weakly. She wasn't given much time to consider the matter, as at that moment she was whisked off her feet to a very different world indeed.
*****************
The first thing Juliet noticed about her surroundings was that it was out of date. These people obviously had no idea about interior decorating. The second thing she noticed was that she was sitting opposite a good-looking man with pointy ears wearing a Greek-style robe. She yawned, inter-dimensional travel makes you tired. "You have no dress sense," she said sleepily.
"As you are a mere mortal, I will forgive you your insolence this time." the man replied without changing his expression. "I am now going to explain why you are here, and why you were sent back in time in the first place."
"Oh, good." Juliet said between yawns.
"You were sent back in time to give Shakespeare some inspiration. And so it seems, you did. Luckily for you, I know that this wasn't the end of his success. He wrote many more plays after that, and they are all still popular in your time. Now that your purpose is fulfilled, you may return to your own time, as soon as you wish. You may return now, if you want."
"Sure." Juliet answered. "But not just yet. There are... some people... there's someone I have to say goodbye to."
The weirdly dressed man nodded. "Yes, I understand. You may return to your past for a short time before I send you back."
*****************
"And now for thy entertainment: Theseus and Hippolyta, written by Peter Quincelet!!!!!
Juliet leaned against a pole inside the Globe Theatre. She was looking forward to see the production. Jack grinned at her from behind a curtain. He was going to play an Amazon. Juliet hadn't been able to stop laughing when she'd first seen him in costume. "It's soooo you!"
Just then, Rick entered, dressed as the hero Theseus. The play was about to begin.
*******************
The play was about two swooning lovers, who had to overcome horrible trials to get together and were finally united in death. It was dreadful. Being an actor herself, she knew the basics of a good play. And this wasn't one.
Luckily, everyone else in the audience thought it was a good joke and laughed and cheered. Juliet, however, dutifully cringed on Jack and Rick's behalf whenever someone made a mistake. Which was often. Jack, at least, held up reasonably well for a guy dressed as a girl. Rick, on the other hand, said his lines so badly it was a wonder anyone could understand him at all.
"Oh gees..." Juliet groaned.
********************
"So, I'll guess you'll be going then?" Jack asked after the play was finished. He had, thankfully, removed his terrible costume, and was standing in normal attire outside the Globe. It was evening.
"Yeah, I am." Juliet said sadly. She hadn't spent as much time in the Elizabethan period as she would have liked. She would miss it.
Jack nodded thoughtfully. "Okay then." he said simply. "I guess this is goodbye."
"I guess." What was there more to say? She hadn't known Jack for that long.
Jack looked at her questioningly. "Are we friends?"
Juliet was confused. "Yeah, sure, why not?"
Jack flashed another trademark grin. "Then give me your hand." Even more confused, Juliet held out her hand to him. Jack took it and gave her a kiss on the knuckles, at that moment a perfect, chivalrous Elizabethan gentleman.
"See ya, Juliet."
And with that, he took off down the darkened street. Just before he turned the corner, he turned around in the light of a flickering torch. "Oh yeah, Juliet, whenever you need help, just call for Robin. He'll help you. Trust me."
And then he ran around the corner. Juliet looked at his shadow, the only thing visible against the darkness. She must have been seeing things, though, because for a moment she was sure his shadow had wings.
****************
"I'm hoooome!" Juliet yelled from the top of the stairs.
"Of course you're home, you idiot! You haven't been away! You've only been in your room for about two hours!" yelled a frustrated Benvolio Rosenberg.
"WHAT?!?" replied Juliet. All that time she had spent in the Middle Ages and she didn't even have a welcome home party?!? The world was an unfair place...
"Hey, wait a minute! When did we move house?" she asked her extremely helpful pet rats, Montague and Capulet.
Ben was leaning in the doorframe. "What do you mean, Juliet? We've always lived in this house!"
"But... it's so big!" Juliet's bedroom looked out onto Double Bay. Her room had an ensuite. The world was upside down.
"Ben..." she said carefully. "Is the whole Shakespeare business... Doing well?"
Ben looked at her as if she had a fever. "Duh, Juliet. How do you think we can afford this house? Are you sick?"
Juliet grinned. "Nope. Just happy." She ran down the stairs to the big bookshelf in the expensive-looking lounge room. After a quick search, she found what she was looking for. Shakespeare's collected works.
She quickly flipped through the book, marvelling at the sheer amount of plays there were, until she saw, to her dismay and delight:
A Midsummer Night's Dream, by William Shakespeare.
