Having Faith: The Saga of Hope & Light: Chapter 3
Prelude to Darkness III:
Revelations before the Sunrise
Author's Note: Gomen nasi, minna-san [forgive me, everyone] for the extreme lateness and briefness (comparatively) of this chapter, however, as I have recently said in my profile, college has just taken up so much of my time that it's been a chore to find time to write no matter how badly I've wanted to get some done. Still, this 'short' is fairly important in the chapter, and I focus on Hikari a lot more, except for a brief, but revealing scene between Gennai and Takeru. Chapter 4 will be on the way sometime, and maybe during Spring Break I can get it written in it's entirely (chapter 4, that is, not the whole book, lol). Also, I try my hand at writing "older Taichi" this chapter, so if it's in here when this is posted, then it's met my beta's rigorous approval ;). I owe a BIG 'thank you' to KarenSedai for being my beta reader. Between graduate work and her own writing, I'm glad that she's found time to proofread and make recommendations to "Having Faith." Domo arigatou, Karen-senpai! :)
*****
As the sun began to creep over the horizon, Takeru opened his eyes. As he rubbed the sleep out of them, he tried to remember the events of the night before, but found his mind to be a blur of confusion and mixed emotion. Anger, hatred, love, sympathy, relief, and terror; all were mixed into one, and Takeru couldn't make any sense of it. As for his actions, he had no memory. The last thing he recalled was trying to stop himself from reliving the events in which Dagomon tried to take Hikari away again. After that, his mind was blank except for the sea of mixed emotions inside him. As he stood up and stretched, he realized that he was still wearing the hakama and cotton top that Gennai had given him to wear. Still in an early morning half-stupor, he was about to shrug off the fact that he was wearing yesterday's clothing, however as his eyes scanned the room, they spotted fresh clothing by the door. His clothes from the real world lay there at the door, as did a fresh pair of hakama and iagi. Opting for the fresh hakama and iagi, Takeru changed and walked into the main hallway, which led to the kitchen, dining area, study, and outside. "A bit of morning meditation couldn't hurt, I guess," he thought to himself as he walked outside.
Takeru found a spot by the tiny bridge under which flowed a small stream. A wave of nostalgia washed over him as he began to meditate. It only seemed like yesterday that he was here, seeing Gennai in person for the first time. However, that yesterday was the yesterday of eleven years ago, and Takeru was no longer the same person he had been the last time he was here. "I didn't even know Hikari then."
"Ohayou gozaimasu1, Takeru," Gennai greeted, coming up to where Takeru sat with his legs crossed and eyes closed.
"Ohayo gozaimasu, Gennai," Takeru replied coolly. "Are you always up this early?"
"Always. Takeru, do you know what happened to you last night?" Gennai asked somberly.
Takeru shook his head. "No, I can't remember a thing. Just confused emotions ranging from hate to love. What did happen?"
"What's the last thing you can remember?"
Takeru pulled himself out of his medititative state to concentrate on his memories. "The last thing I remember is reliving what happened to Hikari as she was retelling it to you."
"I see. Do you want me to tell you what happened?"
Takeru shuddered as he reflected on the emotions, which marked the events of the evening past. "I'm not sure I really want to know, Gennai."
"Well, which is it, Takeru? Yes or no? Ignorance can be bliss, but it can also be deadly. You should already know this."
Takeru stood up and turned to face the sage. "In that case, Gennai, do tell me."
***
As Gennai told him what had happened, Takeru began to remember, as if someone had unlocked a hidden place in his memory. Takeru shuddered to think that Baal had invaded his mind and tried to drive him mad. Takeru knew his biggest strength against the darkness was also his biggest weakness, but never had he thought that those who served the darkness would realize that. Wait a moment, that wasn't it! It was true that his hatred of evil was his biggest weakness, but only if he was arrogant enough to think that evil would never realize that. "Baka! How could I be so foolish?"
After Gennai finished his account of last evening, Takeru cast his eyes down. "It was my own fault that Baal got to me," he said. "I know I hate evil, which is a paradox of sorts. It's my greatest strength against the darkness and it's my biggest weakness as well. I just never thought that evil would ever realize that truth as well."
Gennai simply nodded and motioned for Takeru to follow him. "It's good that you realize that. Never underestimate the darkness in any respect. You must keep your defenses against evil up at all times, especially in the face of despair."
Gennai led Takeru across the small bridge and along a dirt track to a grove of about ten trees surrounding a clearing. Once inside the grove, Takeru saw a grave stone no bigger than a thick book, of in the middle of the clearing. Gennai walked up to it and knelt down in front of it. Seeing that Takeru hung back slightly, Gennai motioned him closer.
"I want to show you this, Takeru," he said.
Takeru came closer till he could see the inscription on the gravestone. There were no elaborate etchings in the gravestone, just simple words; however, the words struck a chord within him, and Takeru suddenly saw the connection between himself and Gennai.
Chihiro
Aisai, Ryouyuu
Aishiteru 2
"Gennai . . . are you saying? . . ."
"Yes, Takeru," Gennai said solemnly. "Evil will do anything to break down your defenses . . . anything! Do not let them do it!"
For a while Takeru couldn't say a word. The reality of what could happen struck him full on, and he felt like running back to the house to make sure Hikari was still okay. However, some other part of him told him to stay, as if there was more he should hear or see.
"How?" Takeru asked, thinking of no other way of asking. "What happened?"
Gennai stood up slowly and faced Takeru, his face . . . sad, and . . . remorseful. Takeru had never seen either of those two expressions on Gennai's face, and seeing them now made him even more anxious to know what happened to the woman he had obviously loved.
"I'm not of the Digital World, Takeru," Gennai said, bluntly. "Neither is Chihiro. We both were fleeing Dagomon's forces when we came here. This very house I have here is one I built as Chihiro's and my home, our home. However, what neither of us knew was that Dagomon had Chihiro on a list of sacrifices to be made to him.
"For years we lived here, happy and content. Chihiro even became pregnant, and we were even happier. However, before our child could be born, Dagomon found us. Late one night, Chihiro got up to get something, and I figured it was one of her midnight cravings, so I went back to sleep. Not more than five minutes later, I was awakened by her screams. I jumped straight out of bed and tried to find my katana, and dashed into the kitchen only to see her being dragged into a dark portal of some kind. She was wrapped in eight oily black tentacles, and the expression of sheer terror and fear in her eyes is now forever burned into my mind. I had gotten there too late. As I tried to reach for the first tentacle, she had been pulled in, and the portal snapped shut. She was gone, and would be dead soon, I knew that much. Dagomon even made the pain harder when a vision was forced on me days later and I was made to watch her fate. I was devastated.
"At first, I was numb from the shock, I felt nothing except an painful emptiness. Then my defenses totally collapsed and I went mad with rage. For at least a month, I was like you were last night, except I acted out even more. For days on end I fought and killed, and fought and killed Dagomon over and over again in the most brutal and painful fashion. However, my rage ended as I moved onto the grief-stricken stage. During that time I barely ate anything, nor did I feel I needed anything. It took me at least a year to get myself back under control, and that was when I planted this grove of trees, carved that gravestone, and chiseled out the inscriptions. From then on, I come here every day to this place, to talk to her. Somehow, I feel Chihiro is here, that even though I know she is now in Heaven, she is still here. However, if I could go back all those many years to the night she was taken, I would do so, and I would have not gone back to sleep, and I would've had my katana right by my bed. Even today, I long for her to be by my side. And our child . . . I never even knew if I was going to have a son or a daughter. I'm just glad that our child didn't suffer. Takeru, don't let what happened to me, happen to you. Be ever vigilant, and know that Dagomon and his forces are more than willing to go through someone else just to get to you, so be ever vigilant for their sake as well. Do you get what I'm trying to say?"
Takeru could only nod, as he had no words that would be appropriate for the situation at hand.
Without a word, Gennai walked out of the grove and back towards the house. However Takeru stayed behind for a bit. Once he was sure Gennai was out of ear shot, Takeru went back to the gravestone. "I swear I won't let there be a need for another gravestone here, Hikari. I won't let them use you to get to me."
***
When Gennai reached the house, he saw Hikari was already up and moving around. She was out on the deck gazing out to where the sun was rising. The ominous thunder clouds of the night before had passed, and now the sky was clear of all dark clouds; however, Gennai knew differently. Those storm clouds weren't gone, they were just waiting for the right time to reappear. However, now wasn't the time for such thoughts. He had guests, after all.
"Ohayou, Hikari," Gennai said, waving to Hikari, who stood with her now dry clothes on instead of the borrowed hakama and iagi.
"Ohayou gozaimasu, Gennai!" Hikari responded when she saw him approaching. "Beautiful morning, isn't it?"
"It is. I'm glad, though. They will be very few in number in the coming days."
"What? . . . oh, the war," Hikari was slightly puzzled until she realized what he'd meant. "I guess so. Too bad Takeru is probably still asleep. I've watched a few sunsets with him before, but never a sunrise. I thought now would be as good a time as any."
Gennai heard the regret in her words, and knew what she meant. Memories of his own love drifted back into his mind. Memories of long night walks along the beaches of Nerab; days spent walking through the market district of the capital city; summer evenings spent lying next to each other in total bliss. All were memories never to happen again. That joy had been robbed from him many many years ago.
Gennai shrugged off the pain of loss, and put it in the back of his mind. No need to show it to others. "Actually, Takeru is in that grove over at the edge of the yard."
"Arigatou, Gennai," Hikari said, as she started off towards the grove Gennai had pointed to.
After Hikari set off, Gennai sighed and tilted his head to the sky as if he were speaking to someone. "Please don't let what happened to me happen to them. Please guide them along the path You set for them."
***
Hikari found Takeru right where Gennai said she would find him. It had been a pleasant walk to the grove, but farther than she's originally imagined. It had taken her a good two to three minutes to reach the grove of trees even though she had walked quickly. Still, once she reached the grove of trees with the clearing in the middle, she knew she'd found him. She didn't know how, but as the years after their last adventure in the Digital World had passed, she began to notice when he was nearby and when he was not. When he was near, it felt to her like all was right with the world in some way no matter the situation. Even when Dagomon had almost taken her, she'd been shaken up pretty badly, but somehow she'd felt that she would be all right in. Even if she'd been dragged into the Dark Ocean, she knew she'd never be sacrificed, that she'd get out alive. However, when Takeru was away, out of earshot or sight, she felt a small, almost unnoticeable pang of anxiety. Somehow something was never just right when Takeru was not near. She'd always attributed these feelings to their long and close friendship, but now she didn't know. Maybe it was a sign; some strange sign, that she was . . . in love . . . with him? No, it wasn't possible. At least to her it wasn't. Takeru was a close and dear friend to her, but that was where it would forever stand. After all, that's the way Sora and Taichi were, and even though those two were still close friends, they would never be anything more even if Yamato and Sora broke up. "Just as it is with 'niisan, so it's probably going to be with me. I could never love Takeru more; we'll never be more than we are right now."
Because she was so deep in thought, she didn't hear the sound of sandaled feet walking out of the grove, nor even the 'oh so typical', "Ohayou, Hikari-chan." It wasn't until she felt the soft tap on her shoulder did she realize that the one person dominating her thoughts at the moment was standing right next to her with his gentle smile. She gave a small gasp of shock, taking a half step backwards.
"O . . . Ohayo, Takeru," she stuttered at first. "I didn't hear you walk out."
"Ohayou ne, Hikari-chan," he grinned in amusement. "Sorry I startled you."
"It's ok, Takeru, I was just thinking about things."
Takeru's face turned to an expression she'd only occasionally seen on him during their last adventures in the Digital World, but one she knew he'd shown many times in the recent years, a thoughtful look. "We both seem to be thinking deeply about a lot of things lately," he said after a moment. "I wonder why."
"We've got a lot to think about, I guess."
"Probably, Hikari-chan. Probably," he said. Then his face lost its pondering look and returned to that grin of his that Hikari loved to see on him. "So, an early riser as well this morning, Hikari-chan?"
She nodded. "You might say that." Then hesitantly, and trying ever so hard not to blush as she looked up into his innocent blue eyes, "I wanted to watch the sun rise, and since we've walked several sun sets together, but no sun rises . . . I was wondering if . . . you'd like to this morning."
For some reason Takeru didn't seem to notice her blushing or her schoolgirl-ish nervousness, both of which would've tipped him off to the fact that something was going on that normally wasn't. Of that, Hikari was most certain. "And he'd be right. Still, how can I say 'Takeru, I've fallen in love with you,' If I'm not even sure of that fact myself?"
"I'd love to, Hikari-chan," he said, with an innocent smile. "Got a good spot picked out?"
"How about right here?"
"Why not." He agreed, lying down and using his hands as a pillow with his head right by one of the grove trees.
Hikari sat down beside him on the soft grass, propping herself up on her arms and tilting her head to watch the sun slowly rise above the treetops. As the sun's warmth began to break over the trees, Hikari heard Takeru sigh in contentment when the sun's light began to warm his face. "Ne, Hikari-chan," he said.
"Nani3, Takeru?"
"I just realized, this is so fitting. Think about it; watching the sunset is like waving goodbye to light for a time, but watching the sunrise is like saying hello all over again." He turned to face her with a silly grin on his face, and glanced up at the rising sun, "Ohayou, Hikari." He looked back over to her and with a smile on his face, said, "And, Ohayou, Hikari no Hikari-chan."
Hikari was about to give him a playful punch in the arm for his wise-crack, when she realized it might not be a wise crack. "That's sweet, Takeru. Arigatou." she said sweetly, genuinely touched, though at the same time she was cursing her beating heart. "Why? Why do I keep feeling like I'm in love with him! I know it wouldn't work out, and then our friendship would be ruined! I'd rather be single but still have Takeru as a friend than I would to have that friendship ruined!"
Still, she had to admit that it might be worth risking. "Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." It was one of niisan's favorite sayings, and his main reason for some of the stupid relationship choices he'd made in the past. "When you finally realize who your heart belongs to, Hikari, you'll realize why I like that saying," Taichi had said to her several weeks earlier when he'd dropped by to 'visit his favorite sister.' For some reason, she still found that title amusing, probably because it was just her brother being himself. She remembered their conversation perfectly when she thought on it.
"Kyoto, huh?" he'd said when she'd told him about the trip. "Sounds great. Maybe you'll realize a bit more about yourself there."
"And what's that supposed to mean?" she'd responded. Another thing about Taichi that made him annoying, but still dear to her, was his constant assumption that he knew a few things about her that she didn't.
"Like how you really feel about Takeru. I mean, come on, Hikari. I'm sure 'kaasan has talked to you about love before. It's like being best friends, but better. And you and Takeru do seem like the absolute best of friends."
"And what if I am in love with him, 'niisan?" she'd asked, somewhat exasperated; though she wasn't about to tell him that his words had hit home. "What if it doesn't work out? We'd never be the same to each other again! I don't want to risk that! Takeru means too much to me to risk that."
"Hikari, it's not always like that, trust me." He'd said, as he finished his tea and got up. "I mean, Sora and I risked it all those years ago and it didn't work out, but if anything, we're closer now. I mean, I'll never be the same to her as Yamato, but we lost nothing when we realized it wouldn't work out. Part of me still regrets some of the things I did back then, regrets the stupid teenage stuff, but you know, it was still the real me who did that stuff. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have been true to myself and Sora and I would've probably had a worse breakup later."
"But that's what I'm afraid of, Taichi." She'd responded, turning to face towards the window and the busy Tokyo cityscape below. "I know it sounds conceited, but I don't want any girl to mean more to Takeru than me. And I don't want to risk that happening by jumping in so suddenly."
Taichi had shaken his head as if she still hadn't gotten what he was saying. "I wish I could stay longer to straighten those odd ideas of yours, Hikari, but I've got class in an hour, and right now, it's going to take me that long to get back to campus. Midday Tokyo traffic is hell, you know."
"I know, Oniisan," she'd reached up to give him a hug. "And thank you for dropping by. I'm always glad to see you."
"Well, I'm glad that I'm still on good terms with one pretty lady in my life," he'd said, tossing his coat over his shoulder, and tossing her a small wave. "Ja ne, Hikari."
As she brought herself back to the present, she still was questioning herself. What was it, love or friendship? She'd just about as admitted to Taichi that she loved Takeru, but she was still unsure. "Unsure of whether I love him or unsure of whether I should risk loving him? I don't know."
"Ne, ne, Hikari-chan. Smell that?" Takeru said, bringing her out of her thoughts . . . again. Twice in the same hour. "Get a hold of yourself, Hikari. You're tearing yourself apart over Takeru, and you know he'd never want that. Get a grip, girl!"
Hikari gathered her senses and sniffed the air. Indeed, she did smell something, and it smelled good. "Mmmm, I do. Gennai must be fixing breakfast."
"Hungry, Hikari-chan?" he asked, getting up.
At the mention of food, Hikari's stomach growled . . . loudly. She blushed in slight embarrassment. "That answer your question?"
"I'd say it does," he chuckled. He then held out his hand towards her to help her up. "Come on, let's go."
***
At his desk in the great North Tower, Major Tor'nir Draksar of the Imperium Guard felt the pull. It wasn't a physical sensation, more of a mental tugging, and the Major knew he was being summoned. Immediately, Draksar rose and left his office and down the great stairwell to the corridor, which led to the main keep. After reaching the Keep, he followed the path he felt was right, as he also knew he was being guided. The way to his Lord's audience chamber was an impossible maze, where a wrong turn would end in certain death, and no one had ever memorized the way there, as Lord Dagomon always guided them there himself, and guided them back out of the maze in the same manner. After a seemingly endless number of disorienting twists and turns, of rising stairwells and descending stairwells, Draksar finally found himself before the two massive barred doors that were the entrance to Lord Dagomon's audience chamber. The doors began to swing open as soon as Draksar reached them, and once they were open, he entered and prostrated himself before his lord and master, Dagomon.
"Iä-Sai'bin! Dagomon fhtagn! Iä! Iä!" the Major exalted as required. "I come as you command, my lord!"
Draksar felt the compulsion to rise and he did so, gazing at the magnificent figure of Lord Dagomon. Massive and powerful, his Lord sat on a throne made from those who had defied him and were rightfully executed for doing so. Dagomon's eight tentacles writhed and wriggled on their rests, while Lord Dragomon's blood red eyes gazed down approvingly upon the Major.
"The sacrifice and her bale'chok have disappeared from my grasp!" intoned the mighty ruler of the underseas in a rumbling, unnatural bass. "FIND them! Search both the human world and the Digital World! When you find them, report back to me immediately, for I will deal with them myself!"
"Iä! Dagomon! Iä! Iä! Baal!" the Major responded. "I shall find them, Lord Dragomon!"
*****
Footnotes:
1. "Ohayou gozaimasu" or just plain "Ohayou" is "good morning" in japanese. As one might expect, "Ohayou gozaimasu" is a more formal greeting, while "Ohayou" is more casual. "Ohayou ne" is usually used as a response to "Ohayou."
2. "Aisai, Ryouyuu. Aishiteru" means "Beloved wife, friend. I love you."
3. "Nani?" means "What?" Shortened form of "Nani desu ka." which means "What is it?" If I had just used english, Hikari would've gone on and said "What is it, Takeru?" But japanese more commonly use "Nani?" or even "Nanda?" instead of "Nani desu ka." In casual conversation.
