*Note: Sorry for all the confusion caused by my idiocy in wording sentences…  This story is not over…  You see, when I said, "Thank you everyone who read this story," I meant, "Thank you everyone who is reading this story…"  Yeah.  So, I'll go sit in a corner and chew on a pair of scissors now. Je Suis Désolé

Chapter 4

Shuichi wasn't sure how long he had been out cold for, but it couldn't have been a long time, considering that when he awoke, he was still in the concert hall.  Several security guards were fighting to hold back worried fan girls as they pushed forward, calling out his name and trying to see if he was all right.  He had been dragged back onto the stage, and Hiro and Fujisaki and K were hovering over him, all of whom released a collective sigh of relief when his eyes opened.  He could see Yuki off to the side, struggling against a security guard, presumably trying to convince the guard that he did indeed know Shuichi.

Shuichi watched all of this with a strangely detached attitude; he felt as though the occurrences around him were so unimportant that he just didn't bother to care.  He managed to lazily push himself into a sitting position and stared, ignoring the questions issuing from his band mates, at the blond haired man that barely looked familiar anymore.  The security guard restraining him glanced at Shuichi, and upon noting that he had regained consciousness, proceeded to roughly drag Yuki over, an irritated frown across his face.

Shuichi stared with a distant gaze, absentmindedly following the golden eyes that peaked out from beneath the yellow strands as he approached.  There was something pathetic in those eyes, a want or need that was requesting something of him, and Shuichi found himself becoming repulsed.  The man he looked upon was not Yuki, could not be Yuki; Yuki was much more beautiful than this, and if this man before him was once Yuki, then he had changed and was no longer.  What Shuichi remembered as being something close to a god or an angel now looked no better than a normal human, attractive, but human all the same, if he was even good enough to be classified as that.  If this man had indeed once been the Yuki that he had loved, than he had definitely changed for the worse.

Or maybe it was Shuichi himself who had changed.  It had been over a year since he had seen so much as a picture of his beloved, since he had never been able to even bring himself to look at the photos printed on the back of his novels, and Shuichi realized with heavy disappointment that he had probably turned Yuki's image in his mind over and over again until it barely resembled what really was.  Maybe Yuki was just the same as he had always been, and it was Shuichi's own memories that were in fact warped.

"Shuichi…"  The name escaped the lips of the novelist with a breathy, singsong air about it, and Shuichi's ears automatically perked.  How long had it been since he had heard that voice utter his name?  That would have been even longer since he had last seen his lover, due to the latter's strange reluctance to use it.  Immediately Shuichi's heart began to flutter involuntary, but it ceased when Shuichi caught Yuki's gaze, which once again reminded him of reality.  Shuichi stared, impervious to his surroundings, at the pleading stare that bore into him and violated him.  Yuki was asking him for something, though Shuichi didn't care to figure out what that was.  Instead, an intense rancor encompassed his body and seethed within him, and his gaze turned into a glare, shining and driven with anger, angled directly towards the golden eyes that had betrayed him.

"How dare you?" Shuichi hissed, turning away and marching backstage as soon as the words escaped his mouth because he knew he couldn't stand to see the look of hurt he was sure would cross Yuki's face and flood his eyes.  He couldn't stand to see the expression he caused to be on his lover's face, one that he knew his lover had caused to be on his face countless times in the past, because he knew it would only make his anger flare.

He heard several voices call after him as he stormed off the stage, though not one of them belonged to Yuki, and for that he was thankful.  A flicker of hope stirred in his heart, and for once he thought that, just maybe, there might still be a chance.

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Seguchi Tohma loosened his hands on the steering wheel as his car approached the straight road, and he allowed his eyes to drift to the side, where they settled on his younger brother-in-law, who currently looked as though he was about to pass out.  His arms were folded tightly over his chest, one elbow resting against the door so that his raised shoulder made a substitute pillow for his head, and his legs crossed over the dashboard, the bottom of his shoe pressed against the windshield.  Normally, Tohma would have protested not only against the dirtying of the glass, but also of Eiri's utterly awful posture, though considering the circumstance, he decided to stay quiet.

However, he couldn't help but worry, since Eiri's face seemed completely placid, and he hadn't said a word at all to Tohma.  Tohma had been expecting Eiri to scream and scowl and throw a fit like usual when Tohma's plans weren't to the best of his liking, but rather Eiri wore a distant expression, one that dictated that Eiri was trying to decide about something, and Tohma knew just what that something was: whether or not to pursue Shindou.

"Don't give up, Eiri-san," Tohma said with a bit of reluctance; Eiri still seemed to be in a rather unpredictable mood, and Tohma didn't want to set him off while in a moving car.  "I'm sure Shindou-san was just a bit confused by your sudden appearance."

There was a long, dead silence in which Tohma found himself automatically tuning in to the engine's soft hum due to Eiri's lack of response.  He glanced over at Eiri, and upon finding that the golden eyes, though barely, were still open, he concluded that Eiri was indeed still awake. 

"Are you going to be returning to America?" Tohma asked quietly, and waited patiently for a response, though once again was only greeted by a heavy silence. 

Tohma let out a sigh as he pulled the car up the long, curving driveway to his largely lavished mansion.  He turned off the engine and then leaned backwards, allowing his body to relax deep into the black velvet seats.  Slowly he turned his head towards Eiri's direction, though Eiri hadn't made any change to his position or expression at all; Tohma began to wonder if he noticed the car had even stopped.  Leaning forward on the edge of his seat once again, Tohma slowly slid his arm forward and softly stroked Eiri defined cheekbone with his gloved hand.  He smiled gently when Eiri blinked and looked at his hand, though the smile faded when Eiri proceeded to close his eyes completely with a pathetic sigh.

"Eiri-san…" Tohma whispered, allowing the concern to filter through his voice.  "Don't worry, everything will be better soon."

Eiri's eyelashes fluttered at his words, and his golden irises once again came to view, though they were not looking at anything, but were rather aimed in an unimportant direction near the floor.

"I'm such an idiot."  The words were so soft that Tohma wasn't sure if he had actually heard them at all at first, though upon deciding that they were in fact spoken, he smiled a reassuring smile even though Eiri wasn't even looking at him.

"Shindou's just a little shaken, Eiri-san," Tohma assured him.  "He'll come around."

"You didn't see his eyes," came the response that, although still very soft, was immediate.  "I've never seen him look like that before."

"Like I said, he was probably just confused.  He's been going through a lot lately, and he is probably looking at you as only another burden.  But it will pass, Eiri-san.  Now come on, we should be getting inside," Tohma said, opening the car door.  He looked back at Eiri who, other than the draft rustling his golden yellow strands, had yet to move.  "Eiri-san, please."

Eiri stirred at last, lifting his head, followed by his body as he lethargically removed himself from the car.  Tohma led him silently towards the house, opening the door for him and following him inside, though he paused at the entranceway.

"You should probably rest.  You look a little worse for the wear," Tohma called ahead at Eiri's retreating figure as he slipped the black jacket from his shoulders.  "We have a few extra beds upstairs—"  He was interrupted by the sound of creaking leather, which he knew was coming from the couch in the living room.  A small, amused smile touched his lips.  "Or you can sleep on the couch, if you want."

Tohma finished hanging up his jacket on the hook in the closet, and then trailed his brother-in-law into the living room where he found the said man already curled up in the leather, his arms wrapped around himself in something that resembled a fetal position.  Any trace of humor Tohma had left vanished upon seeing such a sight, and he sigh heavily.

"Eiri-san," he whispered, "are you asleep?"

Upon receiving no response, Tohma decided that Eiri was at least in a state similar enough to sleep to be considered such.  He slowly pulled the blanket that was draped across the back of the couch over Eiri's tense frame and knelt beside him, brushing a few bangs out of his face with a long finger.

"It will get better," he reassured in a whisper once more before standing and trudging away from the living room, pretending not to hear the sound of muffled sobs that followed him out.

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Fujisaki Suguru gently set the mugs of coffee onto the table, the china rattling slightly as they contacted the table.  He then lifted his eyes to his visitor, still slightly surprised that he even had a visitor at all, much less this particular person.  It was unusual for anyone to come over, especially since Suguru was lacking in the friends department, which wasn't abnormal considering that he spent all of his free time at NG Studios, where he was the youngest employee by about three years.  Not only that, but the rest of his time was located at school, where he had no time for friends because he always had to spend every single free moment studying and making up lost time at NG.

"Did you get into a fight with Nakano-san, or something?" Suguru asked carefully as Shuichi reached out for a mug.  He barely managed to hold in an exasperated sigh when Shuichi sluggishly shook his head.  Suguru knelt down on the ground and leaned back onto his heels, rocking back and forth slightly as he studied this visitor.

It wasn't that he disliked Shuichi, or something like that; sure, Shuichi could be annoying at times, but he was nice and had an interesting personality, so Suguru rather found himself more drawn towards Shuichi than anything.  It was just that Shuichi's sudden arrival at his doorstep, looking very haggard and worse for the wear, had surprised him.  He had gotten used to it being Shindou and Nakano, with Fujisaki as the third wheel; Shuichi always ran to Nakano to whine about all his problems.  Suguru found that as a double-edged sword—on one hand, he was glad that he didn't have to put up with Shuichi's whining at any place other than work, but on the other, he felt just a twinge of jealousy of both Shuichi and Nakano.  They were the best of friends, and he was just their bandmate.

Thus said, Suguru had almost thought himself hallucinating when he opened the door and found Shuichi there, looking worse than he had after he stormed out of the concert.  He hadn't even thought that Shuichi knew where he lived; he was thankful that his parents were gone at the moment, since he didn't really feel the need to have to explain to them not only the situation, but also deal with introducing Shuichi to them in his present state.  He doubted that would leave a good impression, especially since his parents had been against him going into the music business in the first place, saying that it would interfere with his grades and studying, and had only managed it due to the fact that his cousin was the all-powerful Seguchi Tohma.

Suguru paused, taking a sip from his own mug, as he raked through his mind trying to think of something to say without offending Shuichi.  Frankly, he had no idea what Shuichi's problem was, and why he had come here instead of to Nakano for help, and because of that it was very difficult to phrase his sentences.  He knew Shuichi wasn't about to spill anytime soon, and therefore in order to get Shuichi out of his home before his parents returned, he would have to dig around until he could figure out what was bothering him.  Of course, Suguru had already guessed that it had something to do with Yuki, but that still didn't explain why Shuichi came to him of all people.

"If you're getting along with Nakano-san," Suguru said softly, "then why did you come to me?"  As soon as he finished the question, he knew he had said something wrong; a look of hurt flashed in Shuichi's previously dull eyes, and his fingers tightened around his mug so that their edges turned white, though he did not say anything.

Suguru sighed.  Of course Shuichi and Nakano had had a fight; Shuichi had probably just been lying.  Otherwise, Shuichi would definitely be over there instead.  Suguru lowered his eyes to the mug again. 

Okay, that was it.  No more beating around the bush.  He would have to just straight out ask Shuichi, or else he would get nowhere.

"Does this have to do with Yuki-san?"

Shuichi let out a sigh as he lifted the cup to his lips, though he did not drink at all before lowering it again and setting it onto the table.  There was a long pause before he spoke.

"I'm sorry," he said, he voice so soft that Suguru could barely recognize it as his, since it contrasted so greatly with his usual high-pitched whine.  "I shouldn't have come here.  I don't know why I did."  With that, he stood up to leave, though Suguru jumped to his feet and stepped in his way just quickly enough.

"No, stay!" Suguru commanded, lifting his palms in front of him in a gesture to stop.  "I think you need to, Shindou-san.  I don't mind you here."

Shuichi paused again, shifting his weight from foot to foot, before he finally gave in and sat back down on the couch.  Suguru, after deciding that Shuichi wasn't going to bolt anymore, fell into the chair adjacent to the sofa and relaxed into it, as he concluded that this was definitely more trouble than it was worth.

"Tell me what's the matter," Suguru said, looking over at Shuichi, who had once again resumed his former position exactly, right down to the way he tensely sat at the edge of couch and clutched onto this coffee mug.  "Please."

Shuichi blinked at his reflection in the dark liquid, admiring the way it warped when he swung the mug around and disturbed the coffee.  "I've waited so long for something like this to happen—so long that I had stopped waiting—and everything ended up being wrong."  Suguru watched Shuichi as he desperately tried to blink back his tears, but still had no power against their gathering at the bottom of his eyelids.  "Yuki…he wasn't what I remembered…"

"So he's changed, Shindou-san.  Did you expect him not to, even in a year of absence?" Suguru asked rhetorically, trying not to sound rude and watching Shuichi closely for any sign of a change, though Shuichi remained in his emotional daze.  "If Yuki-san wants you back, you should at least give it a try.  Even if he's a little different, I'm sure it's not that important and you'll fall in love with him again."

Shuichi's eyes widened, and his face turned into a mask of anger, frightening Suguru into thinking he had said something offensive again.  "I-I do not want to fall in love with him…with that man!  Not ever!"

"Surely you don't mean that—"

"Of course I do!" Shuichi cried, jumping to his feet with tears falling freely from his eyes and running down his cheeks at an amazing speed.  "I don't want to…to ever…see him again—" he added in a voice considerably weaker than the last, the last word being cut off by a choked gasp, signaling the beginning of his sobs.

"If that's true, Shindou-san, then why are you crying?" Suguru asked, slowly rising to his feet and approaching Shuichi.  He softly laid his hand on the singer's shoulder in an attempt to offer as much comfort as he was willing to give.  "Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?"

Shuichi's eyes widened, his irises contracting to the size of the point of a needle, and his breath stopped all together.  He stood there for what seemed like an eternity, standing completely still other than the trembling of his hands, before narrowing his eyes once more into an angry glare.  Without a word, he shoved Suguru to the side, knocking him into the couch, and stormed out the door, barely stopping to slip on his shoes. 

Suguru stood up and ran to the door, peering outside, though Shuichi had already disappeared.  He let out an agitated sigh as he closed the door and proceeded to clear the table of the coffee mugs.

That certainly hadn't gone as well as he had hoped.  But then, judging by Shuichi's reaction, perhaps he had said something that caused him to have a revelation of some sort, and if that were the case, maybe Shuichi would be over this sometime soon so that Bad Luck could continue on unhindered once again.  Of course, taking into consideration that Shuichi was their lead singer, that may be wishful thinking.

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Notes:  More notes!  Uhrm, all that stuff I said about Suguru's parents, those were merely assumptions, or actually more like things that I just randomly pulled out of my own head, and are not based on either the manga or the anime.  I don't think there's really anything about Suguru's immediate family in the anime, and I haven't read that far in the manga, so…yeah…what was I saying?

Anyway, I can't even type "Suguru."  Every single time, I keep typing in "Sguuru."  Yeah…

Until next time,

Cassi.