Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. Nintendo owns them.

A Prime Passed

Summary: Mario is having a sort of mid-life crisis and ponders if he should really be a member of the Smash Brothers team or if he has passed his prime.

It was another one of those battles where you wonder just what in the hell you're doing still in the game. There are tons of other characters that are ages younger than me. Guys like Link and Ness. Pikachu, Marth, and Roy. I remember when I was that age. Young, new, and fresh. I was bringing something to the game that no on had ever seen before. I was vibrant and I was alive. Now I sit around and wonder am I really qualified for this heavy- duty junk anymore? The task is daunting for a character half my age. I'm liable to have a stroke or have my back give out or something. That would really suck especially in the middle of a battle like yesterday.

We were all sitting in the Game Cube Super Smash Brothers Melee "lobby" when I was called on to fight in a four-way free-for-all. Link, Ness, Fox, and Myself exited the lobby and took our places, myself in my pipeline and waited for the green light. When it came we all popped out of our respective places in DreamLand and anxiously awaited "The Word" (Go!). I hoped the "Items" Elders would smile upon me today. It didn't happen that way.

As soon as the action stared, I felt like an old man trying to get back on a sled while a bunch of younguns were already down the slope. Link did a bunch of complex acrobatics and such before delivering blow after blow to the other three landing them on top of the disappearing clouds. Then he threw a bomb projectile on me. I barely got my second wind before that butt hole Ness shocked me with some flashy thing (PK Flash). I was off of the level just like that.

What most "players" don't know is that in between when we die in that brilliant flashy explosion and then come back on that platform thing, it is like an eternity for us characters. We spend it in a type of game heaven were we watch our finest moments and drink diet soda with no funny aftertaste. Most of us just want to get back and redeem ourselves. I was almost done watching that part where I defeated Bowser and rescued the Princess (the version on that old crappy Game system where I was still just a bunch of pixels that made a weird "boing" noise when I jumped) when the Master Hand said it was time to go back. I didn't really understand why I had to listen to him since all of us had beaten him in One Player Mode one time or another, but I wanted to get back and give those amateurs what they deserved. Big mistake.

I came back in what would seem to a player about four seconds and began fighting again.

"Hey old guy. How ya doin'?" asked Ness with that cheeky little smirk on his face. Yes actual conversation goes on while the kids are playing. Those "genius" designers cover it up with those stupid phrases and noises you hear us make even though they don't know they do it.

"I'm good. Wish I could say the same for you."

"Huh?"

I blasted him with a fireball and kicked him off the stage just for him to land on a cloud. No way. I wasn't having that. I jumped up the first time to go over and kick his butt. Then he did a PK Thunder to his back. All of you guys know that if he hits you when he's using that to get himself back onto a stage your character's going to get shocked pretty badly. He knocked me to the other side. I was thankful that I was gonna land on a cloud, but then I saw that there was a walking Bob-omb on it. Shoot! Boom! More diet soda.

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