Hey! All you anonymous peoples out there who read my story! REVIEW!! C'mon, you know you want to!!

Disclaimer: You would know had you read the first two chapters.

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Huzzah! Link and Zelda are back in the Kokiri Forest. Zelda is trying to make room for all her dolls on a shelf, and Link is back to the sign.

Zelda: Link! Your shelves are too small! Grrr… Fit!

Link: La, la, la…

Zelda: How's the sign coming along?

Link: Sign? What sign? Oh, oh THAT sign… well, um…

Zelda: Let me see!

She shoves Link aside and looks at a painting that looks to be done by a five year-old child. It shows Zelda being eaten by a big… monster… thing.

Zelda: Hey! My eyes are not green! Get it right!

Link: Ok then, to our business!

Link starts on the sign.

Zelda: Okay, everything's unpacked. I get the bed, and you get… the floor.

Link: Mmm hmm.

Then, Ganondorf (Dun dun duuunnnnnnnnnn) runs into the Forest. All the Kokiri shriek in terror and run to the safety of their houses.

Zelda: Did you hear something?

Link: No.

Zelda: Oh. Okay. I'm just going to step outside.

She doesn't step outside, cuz she's a liar! Just kidding! She does. Ha ha. She then sees Ganondorf.

Zelda: Oh my Goddesses! It's Ganondorf! AAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

She runs back inside.

Link: What?

Zelda: It's Ganondorf!

Link: Mmm hmm.

Ganondorf: Hi.

Zelda: AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Ganondorf: Hey, listen, I-

Zelda: It's Ganondorf! AHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Ganondorf: No, I don't want-

Zelda: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Ganondorf: HEY! STOP SCREAMING!!!!!

Zelda: … (she stopped)

Ganondorf: I'm in no mood to kill you or Link.

Link: Yeah! Who would finish the sign if I died?

Ganondorf: Kid, you're about as sharp as a marble.

Link: Hey! I'm not a marble!

Ganondorf: -.- Now, I heard about your little detective thing from Ruto, and something very dear to me disappeared.

Zelda: … I don't believe you.

Ganondorf: Why not?

Zelda: …Are you REALLY Ganondorf?

Ganondorf: Yes!

Zelda: Are you sure?

Ganondorf: Yes!

Zelda: Are you positive?

Ganondorf: Yes!

Zelda: Are you positively sure?

Ganondorf: For the last time, yes! I think I would know who I am!

Link: Really?

Ganondorf: How can I prove to you that I am Ganondorf?

Zelda: Well, Ganondorf usually tries to kill me and Link…

Ganondorf: Okay, fine… *grabs a spoon* I'll hurt you good. Feel the wrath of Ganondorf.

Link: AHHHH!!!!!!! *cowers in a corner* Okay, I'll help you, Mr. Ganondorf, sir, just DON'T KILL ME!!! WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Zelda: Okay, that's believable. But how do I know if this isn't another plot to take over the world?

Ganondorf: Just come with me.

So Ganondorf and Link walk along, while Zelda makes Ganondorf carry her, to Gerudo Valley. Then they reach the entrance to the castle place-y fortress thingy. (A/N: I have no idea. I've never gotten there in the game.)

Ganondorf: Hi, fellow Gerudo.

Guard: Who are you?

Ganondorf: It's me, Ganondorf.

Guard: Let's see your Gerudo Membership Card.

Ganondorf: Jeez! Can't you tell who I am WITHOUT my card?!

Guard: Nope. Now let's see it.

Ganondorf: See? Even if I wanted to take over the world right now, I can't get in to my office! Somebody stole my Gerudo Membership Card!

Zelda: How do you know you didn't misplace it?

Ganondorf: I haven't misplaced it for 23 years!

Zelda: Okay, okay, where were you when you noticed that it was gone?

Ganondorf: I was right here, trying to get in!

Zelda: That's not going to work. Where were you during the course of that day?

Ganondorf: Let's see, I went over to Death Mountain to have a cup of tea with Darunia, then I headed over to Zora's Domain for lunch cuz they have the best fish I've ever tasted. Um, and I went to Lon-Lon Ranch to scare their cattle for the fun of it.

Zelda: That means we have to check ALL those places?

Ganondorf: I guess so. You should've thought of that when you became detectives.

Zelda: Oh well. Off to Death Mountain!

Once again, Ganondorf carries Zelda, while Link walks, to Death Mountain and Goron City.

Darunia: Hello, Brother!

Link: Who's he talking to?

Zelda: You!

Link: I'm not your brother. I'm not even part Goron.

Darunia: Remember the Stone?

Link: Oh yeah.

Zelda: Darunia, if you don't mind, we're going to have to search your room.

Darunia: What for?

Link: Ganondorf misplaced his Gerudo Membership Card.

Ganondorf: I did not! Someone stole it!

Link: Whatever you say, Ganny.

Ganondorf: And don't call me Ganny!

Link and Zelda waltz into Darunia's room without letting him answer, and when they stop dancing, they start rummaging through everything.

Link: I found a rock!

Zelda: Not again…

When everything had been moved, pushed, pulled, and turned over, Zelda and Link conclude that the card is not here.

Zelda: The card isn't here.

Link: It's not? Darn.

Zelda: Oh well. Off to Zora's Domain!

Link: What?! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

So Ganondorf now has to carry Zelda AND drag Link to Zora's Domain. Poor Ganny.

Ganondorf: Hey!

Sorry; poor, POOR Ganny.

Ganondorf: That's better. And don't call me Ganny!

And so they reach Zora's Domain.

Ruto: Link! You're back! With Zelda. And Ganondorf.

Link: I'm here on official business, Ruto.

Ruto: That's nice, I guess…

Zelda: Ruto, have you seen a little card that says "Gerudo Membership Card" on it?

Ruto: If I did, why would I tell you?

Zelda: Aha! Admit it! YOU'RE the one who stole it, just like you stole Link!

Link: Ruto didn't steal me, I'm right-

Zelda: Shh, Link! I'm on to something here!

Ruto: I did not!

Zelda: Did too!

Ruto: Did not!

Zelda: Did too!

Ruto: Did not!

Zelda: Did t-

Ganondorf: *quickly* Uh, on second thought, I was never here on the day my card was stolen, so let's get going now. Bye Ruto!

Ganondorf, carrying Zelda, is running as fast as he can, but that can never compare to how fast Link ran. But, by habit, Link ran to the Forest.

In the Forest.

Link: Whew! I'm glad that's over!

Then, Link gets a letter!

Link: Wow! I got a letter! Hmm… It says, "Get your butt over to the ranch right this minute. Love, Zelda and Ganny."

So Link goes to Lon-Lon Ranch.

Zelda: WHY did you run to the Forest?

Link: Did I?

Ganondorf: Okay, let's look around.

Zelda: Okay. Where were you?

Ganondorf: I was in that place with all the cows and that freaky guy with the white overalls.

Zelda: The barn?

Ganondorf: Yeah!

Zelda: Let's go.

Link: Where?

Zelda doesn't hear him and walks into the barn, followed by Ganondorf.

Link: Where are we going? Agh! A cucco! Wait for me!

Link runs inside the barn, and crashes into Ganondorf.

Ganondorf: Ow!

Link: Sorry, Ganny.

Ganondorf: AND DON'T CALL ME GANNY!

Zelda: Okay, what were you doing in here?

Ganondorf: I was scaring the cows.

Zelda: Was anyone else in here?

Ganondorf: Well, I saw the weird guy leave before I went in, and I saw Malon at one point or another, but she quickly ran off, as if she wanted to get away with something.

Link: Hmm…

Zelda: Hmm…

Ganondorf: Don't you guys think that's a little suspicious?

Link and Zelda: What's suspicious?

Ganondorf: The day my membership card gets stolen Malon runs out of the barn quickly, and after that I couldn't find it?

Link: What about it?

Ganondorf: It's suspicious.

Link: What's suspicious?

Ganondorf: Never mind. Hey! Let's go to the Gerudo Valley again!

Zelda: Okay.

Link: But I'm tired, and I'm hungry, and my feet hurt…

So Ganondorf has to carry Link AND Zelda to the fortress thingy.

Guard: Let's see your Gerudo Membership Card.

Ganondorf: Link, don't you have one?

Link: One what?

Ganondorf: A Gerudo Membership Card.

Link: What about it?

Ganondorf: Don't you have one?

Link: One what?

Ganondorf: A Gerudo Membership Card.

Link: What about it?

Ganondorf: -.-'

Zelda reaches in Link's pocket (Does Link HAVE a pocket?) and pulls out his wallet. She then starts going through all of his membership cards.

Zelda: Let's see here… Losers Anonymous, I Hate Ruto Club, Save the Trees… Ah! Here it is! Gerudo Membership Card!

Link: Oh, that! Yeah, I have that.

So all three get inside now.

Zelda: Now what do we do?

Link: Let's frolic through the halls!

So Link frolics through the halls.

After a while, Link finds a little person with a white dress and a Ganondorf mask.

Link: Hi, Ganondorf! Boy you got smaller! C'mon, we have to go find Zelda!

Link grabs "Ganondorf's" wrist, and frolics to where Ganondorf and Zelda are.

Link: Look Ganny! I found you!

Ganondorf: That's not me! AND DON'T CALL ME GANNY!

Link: If YOU'RE Ganondorf, then who's this?

Zelda pulls off the mask and reveals… MALON?!

Ganondorf: Of course. The clues point to it.

Oh. Yeah.

Malon: Hi!

Zelda: What are you doing here, and where did you get the Ganondorf mask?

Link: Yeah! I want one of those!

Malon: I got the mask at the Happy Mask Shop! They have those there now. And I'm here because I want to be a Gerudo thief when I grow up! I don't want to be Ingo's slave on the ranch!

Zelda: Oh.

Ganondorf: How did you get in here?

Malon: I stole your card, and bought a mask, and everybody thought I was you! It was funny!

Ganondorf: Well, I'll consider letting you be a thief if you give me my card back, okay?

Malon: Okay!

Malon gives the card back.

Zelda: Well, that wasn't as bad as I thought.

Link: I'm hungry.

Zelda: Me too. Ice cream!

Link and Zelda run to Hyrule Castle to get ice cream because there is no ice cream in the Kokiri Forest.

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Yahoo! Me be done! I had a little trouble with this one. I changed it like 3 times! Oh well. I've already started the next one, and I hope you like!

Don't forget to review!