Chapter Four: Trying to remember

 I searched through my bedroom desperate to find something, anything, that belonged to the Spirit World. I had no pictures, no way of traveling back there and all my memories of it were wiped almost blank. But even though if I don't find any memories belonging to the spirits I'm going to go and meet Haku. If I'm not ready, so what? I had waited six years for this, and I'm not waiting any longer. That's my vow to myself. I was on the verge of giving up all hope, searching through the last part of my cupboard, when my hand knocked over a photo album. What seemed to be twice a dozen pieces of paper fell out on the floor revealing pencil drawn pictures on each of them. I took the paper to my desk trying to study them a bit more. The first showed what resembled some kind of spider with a human head. Although badly drawn, it was really apparent from the picture that I had given it my best shot.

 I went through my sheets of paper one by one, each making as much sense as the other: which was none. Around seven or so I went back to the park trying to keep my face clam even though I was sweating.

" Well?" he said when he saw me " Do you remember, then?"

I nod, feeling extremely foolish as I do so. Like a little girl lying about her homework. Like the girl I was six years ago. Like Sen.

" Liar." He was reading me like a book. " But I'm glad you made an effort though."

I didn't know what to say to that so I kept my silence.

'What now?' I thought desperately.

"Don't worry if you can't. Maybe a night's sleep will help."

" What?" I said. Oh great. The first word I get out to him that's not hateful, tactless or bitter is 'what'. Nice going Chihiro, really nice.

" Look," I continued " I don't think it will help that much. I know you don't want to hear this but I've forgotten about you. And everyone else." I had done it. I had admitted what I feared the most a few years back. I waited for his reaction with my eyes staring at the ground.  But he didn't reply. I could feel his eyes on me but he still didn't reply.

" Don't say that," he said at last. " you never really forgot. You just can't remember."

" I don't understand " I said

" You shouldn't. Come and see me tomorrow okay? Hopefully you'll remember by then."

Then he just turned back and walked away, leaving me staring after him.

A/N : Sorry if this chapter was so short and slow everyone. I'm just worrying my bloody ass off cos mum's going to China on Sunday on a business trip. She think she's found a cure for the SARS disease in case you were wondering. Anyway please continue reading this fic cos in the next chapter I'll be much nicer to all those Chihiro/Haku fans out there and make fluff happen.