Disclaimer: I do not own Spirited Away
Chapter five: River of tears
The days flew by quickly, everything passed like a blur to me. Sometimes I wish that time would pass by a little slower, make me realize that what I have was real, not just a dream. We spent long hours in park, walking trough the think clump trees in woods and watching the sun set above the houses. We talked though I hardly can realise what I was saying. Those days at the bathhouse came flooding back each hour we spent together.
It seems odd but sometimes, somehow, I get an odd feeling of something big ahead of me. Something bad. I try to put it in the back of my head for a while and can only hope that it'll go away.
Whenever we spend time together I look at him and wonder secretly if he feels the same way. I know I'm pathetic, even to myself I seem so, but I you can't wondering can you? I've known the answer for a long time of course, positive of it, but love plays funny games with the mind.
Love's young dream is more heaven-like than anything I've experienced so far. For the past weeks I could hardly keep my feet on the ground. It's not just a expression either. During the quiet nights when there's nobody about and I'm not doing my homework Haku would transform into his dragon form and we would fly off into the night. Just like those times at the bathhouse.
It was like living in a dream.
I found it hard to concentrate on what I'm doing especially when I'm with Nat and Uki but they don't seem to mind. They know I'm in love and that they can't, and wont, get me out of it. And I know they know. Dreams last long until one decides for them to end.
And just like waking up from a dream, everything changed.
* * *
It was raining, first rain of the season giving life to grass, trees and flowers that died in the heat of summer. We were inside watching the television but my mind wasn't really on it. I kept passing him glances every few minutes. For the pass few days he had behaved oddly as though something was wrong. Extremely wrong.
" Haku what's up?" I asked quietly.
He glanced at me in a pity-like way before answering
" Nothing" he muttered.
" What's up?" I pressed on, little firmer this time. I'm not giving in that easily. He stared down at the coffee table in silence as though weighing up on his options.
" It's Yubaba" he quietly after a while. " I told you that she was retiring once before and leaving the bathhouse to me it's complicated. She says I have to go through some kind of training and it takes a few years to get used to it. Not only that but I'll be gaining more powers. Powers that I might not even manage."
I stared at the table. He paused but he didn't need to go on. I knew what it meant. He was leaving. It felt as though a great big fist was clamoured over my heart squeezing it into a pulp. Hurt and denial chased each other inside my head, each battling over space from the other. This was fake. I was dreaming , I had to be. After all I went through, after all the pain, convincing myself that he didn't exist, he came walking right back into my life again proving me wrong, and for what? Only to leave me in the state I was in before.
"I guess you'll be going back then?" I whispered.
He nodded slowly, hesitantly.
Tears fell from my eyes, hot and fast, burning my cheeks.
" I'm sorry," he whispered.
I didn't reply, only carried on weeping in silence. He pulled me into his arms and I sobbed freely into his shoulder soaking his clothes. The pain was unbearable. All those days together, all those walks in the park and the talks by the lake was now lost, just because that old hag wants him back to take over her damned bathhouse. I knew I should have held on to those hours while I could, because in a while it'll become a sweet memory, like a priceless treasure. Only even more precious because it'll fade away eventually, covered up by time as it passed.
* * *
" HE SAID WHAT?!"
Nat was both shocked and angry when I told her about Haku the next day.
" That bastard! When I get my hands on him I'll strangle him with my own hair. See if I don't! How dare he hurt Sen like that? "
" Calm down." Uki said firmly. " It's not like he could help it. If that witch, Yubaba, as Sen calls her, really is retiring and someone needs to take over then I think Haku really needs to go back. It's not like he has a much of a choice"
It seemed as that although all of Nat's feelings for Haku had turned into hate, but Uki is still unbelievably on his side.
" Sen what about you?" she asked. " you haven't said anything. Are you sure you'll be okay?"
I stared at the ground as we walked through the streets. Sure I'll be fine after a while but how long while? And how can I be sure that I'll see him again. Instead I shrugged.
A lump was forming in my throat but I managed not to dry. But inside a river of tears were flowing.
A/N: well that's this chappie done! I'm sorry for the late updates for the fic but I'm a very busy gal at the mo. Since it's coming to the end of term here in Sweden we have all these essays to hand in and all these tests to do. Sad innit? Luckily though we've done all our stuff and we have Monday and Tuesday off from school cos the caretakers are going on strike. Anyway I'm planning on a sequel to this but it wont be Haku/Chihiro. A BOY wanders into the Spirit World and find himself trapped. Can Haku help him? It has a twist. NOT SLASH!!!( I'd never do that) Watch out for it, it'll be out in late August.
