A/N: Alrighty, I know it's been several years since I updated (not too much of an exaggeration, mind you… okay, but it feels like forever!). So here is my attempt at a new and humorous chapter.
As a side note, I also revised previous chapters. Didn't change any of the content, just spelling and grammar stuff. Because even I (yes, I know… me, the school spelling bee champion of the 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade) don't catch all my mistakes.
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Link and Zelda are back at Hyrule Castle (yet again), eating ice cream.
Link: No!
Actually, it's more like Zelda's eating ice cream and Link's throwing a fit.
Zelda: C'mon, Link! Chocolate's just as good a flavor as any!
Link: I refuse to eat this pile of mud!
Zelda: *rolls her eyes* I swear, sometimes you act like a baby.
Suddenly, (dun dun duuuuunnnnn) they hear a bump at the front door.
Zelda: GASP! Did something just hit the door? *starts crying* Guards! Guards! The door! The door!
Guards: *open the door*
In rolls a rock of bluish whitish color, and a piece of paper pops out of the middle.
Link: *grabs the paper*
Zelda: Well? What does it say?
Link: It says: *struggling* "Tall… muh… hor… wuh… wuh… blook."
Zelda: What? *takes the paper* It says, "water please."
Link: Darn! So close, too!
Zelda: So… the rock… wants… water?
Paper #2: Yes.
Link: Well, you heard the man- err… yeah. *claps his hands* Guards, get 'im some water, chop chop!
Guards: *head to the kitchen*
Zelda: Since when are you supposed to listen to him!?
Guards: *stop*
Zelda: Now… get the rock some water!
Guards: *sigh and roll their eyes, and bring back a glass of water*
Link pours the water on the rock, which immediately starts to turn fleshier and more… like a Zora.
Link: Wow! It's like one of those things that you soak in a bucket of water, and it inflates! *pokes the now fully grown Zora*
Zora: Ow! Hey! Don't do that!
Zelda: GASP! Who are you?
Zora: My name is Bob.
Link: Bob… that's an interesting name…
Bob: You makin' fun of my name? *tears well*
Zelda: Of course he wasn't-
Bob: *crying* No, go on! After all, I should be used to it by now! When I was in school, the other kids called me names like Bobby and Bert… and even Robert!
Zelda: Oh, you poor thing…
Bob: *nods*
Link: What exactly are you, anyway?
Bob: I'm a Zora!
Link: Like Zora the Explorer?
Zora the Explorer: Hola! Let's go on an adventure!
Bob: Funny, one would think you'd know that, considering your relationship with Princess Ruto…
Link: *plugs his ears* NO! NO! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA…
Zelda: *whispering* It would be best if you never mentioned that name again…
Bob: I see…
Zelda: *taps Link on the shoulder* Well, Bob, what are you here for?
Bob: Oh! Right! I have a message from King Zora. *pulls out yet another piece of paper (from where you ask? Use your imagination)* "Please please please please please help me. Something of mine was stolen. Love, King Zora."
Zelda: Well, Linky, ol' boy, duty calls.
Link: Yeah… but that means going back to Zora's Domain?
Zelda: Yeah… your point?
Link: RUTO!
Zelda: Oh… right. Well, what would you rather do? Do a good deed and help out King Zora, or sit here in the castle, good-deed-less?
Link:… good-deed-less. Castle. Definitely.
Zelda: Oh, come on! *convinces Bob to drag Link to Zora's Domain*
They arrive at Zora's Domain.
Zelda: Alrighty, where is this "King Zora" you speak of?
Bob: Follow me. *starts walking along the path to the King's chamber*
Link: *clings to Zelda* She's close… I can feel her presence…
Zelda: Her presence…? *looks around*
Link: What? Presents? Where?
Ruto: *jumps out from behind a pillar* Hi! Gasp! Linky!
Bob: *bows down* Princess Ruto!
Zelda: *looks semi-confused* Princess Ruto?
Link: *eyes widen in terror* Princess Ruto!
Ruto: Bob! Thanks for bringing them here! Now go make me a sandwich! Tuna… and hold the bread.
Bob: *rolls his eyes, then nods* Yes, your highness. *leaves*
Ruto: *takes Link's arm in hers* I'll take you to my father's chambers. Oh, it's so great to have you here. Now if only she weren't…
Zelda: WHAT did you say?
Ruto: Nothing! But between you and me, Linky-poo, she's nothing but a brat princess.
Zelda: You know, Ruto, I can hear you.
Ruto: Oh… Well, I'll be sure to insult you away from your eavesdropping ears, then.
Zelda: And she says I'm the brat princess.
Ruto: But anyway, my father lost something very valuable to the entire Zora. And he didn't know about your little detective thing before… Guess how he found out!
Link: *silently crying*
Ruto: I told him! I recounted to him the tale of my lost Linky, and he decided that you were the right man for the job! Isn't it wonderful?
Zelda: Ahem, as I recall, you yourself hid Link in your secret cave place.
Link: But I'm-
Zelda: Fish.
Link: Oh yeah.
Ruto: You big liar meanie! I did not! You stole him!
Zelda: C'mon, Ruto! You admitted it yourself!
Ruto: I'm not talking to you anymore!
They finally arrive in King Zora's chambers.
Ruto: Father, Link is here!
King Zora: Ah, Link! You're here! Thank the goddesses!
Zelda: I'm here, too!
King Zora: Who are you?
Link: She's my partner.
Zelda: Link's MY partner.
King Zora: I see… Well, can't help to have more people on the job! But anyway, I need your help.
Zelda: We know…
King Zora: We are in dire need of it.
Zelda: Yes…
King Zora: As soon as possible.
Zelda: WITH WHAT!?!?!?
King Zora: O.O
Ruto: Daddy?
King Zora: O.O
Ruto: Look what you did to my dad, Zelda! You're going to pay for that one! Linky! I'm assigning you to this case alone. Zelda's off the job!
Zelda: What? You can't do that to me!
Ruto: I can't?
Zelda: That's right… because… I'm… er…
King Zora: Lord Jabu-Jabu is gone!
Link: What?
Ruto: Oh, my dear father, you're alright! Okay Zelly, you're back on the job.
Zelda: Zelly? O.o
Link: *makes disgusted face* I remember Jabu-Jabu…
Ruto: *dreamily* Yes, me too… and you rescued me from that horrible monster in his belly… Oh Link, you were so brave!
Zelda: Wait… Isn't Jabu-Jabu that big fish in your pond out back?
King Zora: *nods*
Zelda: How do you lose a huge fish like that?!
Link: Actually, Lord Jabu-Jabu is a whale. And whales aren't fish, they're mammals.
Everyone: *stares*
Link: What?
Zelda: Okay, Your Majesty! We're on the case!
Zelda and Link head out into the pond in the back. (I think that's what it's called. Haven't played the game for a LONG time…)
Link: *rubs his hands together* Okay, now to find Jabu-Jabu…
Zelda: Link… Lord Jabu-Jabu is right there. *points to the extremely large whale that is right where he always was and always should be… right behind the convenient little podium that is there*
Link: Oh. Yippee! Case solved! Now to figure out who the culprit is…
Zelda: Link, if Jabu-Jabu is here, that means that he's not lost.
Link: Right…
Zelda: So if he's not lost, and he's right where he should be, do you think he was stolen?
Link: Oh, I get it! The thief is hiding in the water! *watches water* Must be one heck of a breath-holder.
Zelda: No, Link! What I'm saying is I don't think-
Link: Oh no! He can't be hiding out inside Jabu-Jabu! No! No! No!
Zelda: LINK! Jabu-Jabu was never stolen in the first place! We have to go talk to King Zora!
So they run back into King Zora's chambers. When Ruto saw them coming back, she squealed with delight.
Ruto: SQUEAL!! (that's all you're getting from me)
King Zora: Ruto! Are you alright?
Zelda: King Zora, your Majesty… did you even check to see if Jabu-Jabu was there?
King Zora: Indeed I did! And he was gone! As a matter of fact, the entire pond was gone!
Zelda: How…?
King Zora: It was all just a big, black, empty space.
Zelda: And Ruto, you didn't check?
Ruto: Why should I? My father never lies! His word is law! We cannot doubt him!
Zelda: I see… Okay. King Zora, I think your eyesight-
King Zora: Nonsense! My eyesight is fine! I can see my dear Ruto perfectly. She's standing right over there! *points to the wall of the room opposite to where Ruto is standing*
Ruto: Huh?
Zelda: Ruto, your father is going blind.
Ruto: How dare you say that! Blasphemy!
Some Zora guards appear and grab Zelda:
Ruto: By order of Princess Ruto, you, Zelda, are hereby banished from Zora's Domain!
Zelda: What-
She is taken away.
Ruto: Finally. We can be alone, Link… my darling.
Link: *running out of Zora's Domain* Sorry can't have to go get lunch but maybe some other time bye!
Link finds Zelda glaring at the guards now posted at the entrance.
Zelda: That evil little fish! I'd like to give her a kick in the pectoral fin!
Link: Wait, does this mean we never have to come back.
Zelda: Yes… until I find a way to sneak past the guards! Muahahahaha… That'll show her…
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And so ends another chapter. Please review!
