Flawed
So
will
you
catch
my
Fall?
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Chapter 6
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The ever-present sound of "The Wheel" greeted Helga's ears is she entered her house after school.
"NO YOU MORON!" Big Bob sputtered from his Laz-E-Boy. "Y! Y! THE WORD IS YESTERDAY!"
"Um, m?" the voice on the TV answered tentatively. Helga shook her head, familiar with her dad's rage against the game show. He had even bought satellite TV just to have that new "The Wheel" channel: All Wheel, all the time. Paying no more mind, she ascended the stairs to her room.
She darted into her closet with the look of an ashamed child on her face. "I can't let Arnold see this." She mumbled, glaring at her newest shrine made out of earthen clay. She had to break into the school one night to fire it in the kiln in the art room, but it had all been worth it. At least, it had been.
But that was not the issue at the moment. The issue was that for one reason or another, the boarding house wasn't going to be open to visitors (Arnold was vague as to the reason why), so they had to meet at her house. The TV room was out for obvious reasons, namely Big Bob, and the kitchen was off limits because Miriam would probably be mixing up an extra batch of her "special" smoothies to drown out Bob's hollering. So the meeting place would have to be her room, the very room cluttered with artifacts detailing her own infatuation with him. Working quickly, she threw the shrine in two plastic garbage bags and placed it rather unceremoniously underneath her bed. After all of her pink books into another plastic bag she discarded them under her bed also. She glanced around her room, trying to think if she had another object that would give her secret away.
Secret. She laughed out loud at that one. What planet was she living on now? She had no secret anymore. So much time had been spent to worrying that Lila or Dr. Bliss or even Brainy would tell the world her secret passion that she had never even paused to think that one day she would crack under the pressure of her duel life and betray herself! "Stupid, stupid STUPID!" she yelled at herself for nearly the millionth time in that single day alone. Her head swam with the imbalance of love and hate that had risen up in her heart. She had always hated Arnold to a certain extent, though miniscule compared to her own love for him. But this hate, this pent up frustration due to his own... footballheaded ignorance was growing. All this time, she had thought that he was... different. Sure, she knew he was a little dense, but not completely blind! Or heartless. Or cruel. Or hateful. Or... Looking down at her hands, she realized that her fists were clinched. "Ease up, old girl. Just play it cool, try and get along, try and get along..." But there was an ache inside... and she knew he had fallen. Arnold had fallen from the pedestal she had placed him on all those years ago. Now he was only a boy, not a godlike figure. The ringing of the doorbell shook her from her revelation. In a rush, she flung her door open and flew down the stairs. "Bob and Miriam had better not have..." She trailed off. "answered the door." The door had already been opened, and both Arnold and Miriam were engaged in a seemingly one sided conversation.
"Good evening Mrs. Pataki. May I please see Helga? We're supposed to work on our class project and-"
"Huh?" Miriam blinked, dazed. She took another long sip of her tanish colored smoothie. "Oh, you're Helga's little friend. Yeah, go on upstairs to her room and..."
"Are you sure you want me up there?" Arnold asked, feeling slightly uncomfortable.
Big Bob took this exact moment to butt in. "Yeah Miriam, are you sure you want Orphan boy up in the kid's room? I mean, a kid like that could--"
"CRAM IT, BOB." Helga hollered as she ran down the stairs, a pad of paper and a pen in hand. "You don't talk to him like that. Criminy, he just saved the whole neighborhood and your business. If it weren't for him, you'd be licking Sheck's boots. Come on Arnold, let's blow this Popsicle stand." She grabbed his arm and led the stunned boy out of the Pataki household.
The night air felt cool against Helga's face as she angrily marched around the corner. "Anywhere you wanna go then, Arnoldo?" she asked, looking down. Her small hand was still clutching his arm to the point that her knuckles had turned white. Arnold was biting his lip, and she realized that she was hurting him. Letting go, she apologized. "I'm sorry."
"It's all right." These words came so often from Arnold's mouth. He was so quick to brush off and to forgive, but this time the words seemed almost foreign and strained rolling off his tongue. His face almost mirrored Helga's: angry and yet freezing cold; an untouchable. Helga shivered, "Wow, it's kinda cold out here, isn't it?"
"Slightly." Arnold agreed. Uncomfortable silence settled over them for the next few moments.
"So, where are we heading?" Helga asked. Arnold's step size increased and he pulled in front of Helga.
"Anywhere to get this done, right?"
Helga bit her lip. "Yeah, don't want to drag this out too long. We'd probably kill each other."
"We? Don't you mean you'd kill me with another display of your amazing, uncontrolled anger?" His voice was steady, and he tried to play it off as a joke. The lightness of his sweet voice was gone, all that was left was the sharp edge.
"You deserve that... play it off. You can do it, old girl." she reminded herself, then took a deep breath. "Okay, I'll give you that one." She switched the topic quickly, trying to keep up with Arnold who was walking faster by the minute. "We could go to Slausens. We could go to the park. We could.... I dunno, sit outside the boarding house."
Arnold turned his head around. "Don't mention the boarding house." he mumbled in that still cold tone.
"Right, right, I won't mention the bo--- um, how about Slausens then? Sure will be warmer in there than it is out here." She had to break into a slight jog at this point in order to keep up with him.
"Fine then." He said shortly while he turned the corner. Helga followed suit, matching her stride to keep up with his, but keeping in mind to still remain behind him. The rest of the walk was silent apart from the echoing sound of rubber soles smacking the pavement. After what seemed like eternity (though only 15 minutes by Helga's watch), they reached Slausens. Arnold slid into the first booth next to the door, and Helga sat down on the other side of the same booth. She put her notebook down on the table and placed her pen next to it.
"Okay." Helga said, attempting to keep a note of cheerfulness in her voice. It didn't work, as her voice came out in a high pitched squeak. Clearing her throat, she continued. "A list of interesting or not widely known facts about each other." She pulled the cap off of her purple pen with her teeth and scribbled the heading onto the paper. "Who should go first?"
Arnold sighed, looking down at his folded hands. "Look Helga, before we start, I think I-"
"Well look who's here!" a voice said from the front counter. "And looking so cold! Hang on, I'll get you two hot cocoa, on the house."
"Thanks Mrs. Johanson!" Arnold exclaimed as she brought two large mugs filled to the brim with the warm, steaming brown liquid. She had even added tiny marshmallows to the top. "But we can pay you, it's okay. I have money..."
Mrs. Johanson patted his hand. "It's fine Arnold. Anything for Gerald's friends." Then in a lower voice, she added, "You're okay then, honey?" His shoulders slumped and he meekly nodded. After giving him a quick hug, Gerald's mother announced that she'd be in the back cleaning up, and that if they needed her they could just holler.
"Thanks again!" Helga shouted as she left. "Wow, that was nice of her."
"I suppose."
"Suppose? The woman just gave us free drinks! She must be, like, a saint! I didn't know she worked here though. She still working at the supermarket?"
Arnold gave a half smile. "Yeah, she is. This is just a temporary job for a little extra money while she can still be on her feet. She'll have to give leave to both jobs when she's further into her... um... pregnancy."
Leaning back into her seat, Helga smiled, "Well, well, well, Gerald's going to have another little sibling. I bet he's thrilled." This last part was said with a bit of sarcasm. It was no secret that there was no love lost between Timberly and Gerald for the most part, though they could act human to each other some times.
"Actually, he is excited. He's bought Madame Blanch's stock of lucky charms and rabbit feet. He really wants it to be a boy this time."
Helga laughed. "I couldn't imagine why." Was her sarcastic answer.
Her laughter caused Arnold to crack a smile too. "Well, I guess we'd better start then... how about we list what we know everyone knows about us first."
"Okay." Helga responded, placing her pen cap to the side of her cup of cocoa. "Well, you're a football head, everyone knows that."
"And you're a pink bow wearing bully."
"Goody two shoes."
"Fist namer."
"Teacher's pet."
"Vindictive spirit."
The list grew slowly into more of a name calling, and their voices rose with every addition.
"Paste for brains."
"Not nice person!"
"Can't stand to lose!" Helga shot back.
This one took Arnold slightly by surprise. "That's not true."
Helga paused for a moment to think. "Well, yeah it is. Didn't you know it?"
Arnold crossed his arms. "Oh come on Helga! You're the one who can't stand to lose. That's why you're so mean all the time, you're afraid of losing something!"
"Why am I your project, Arnold?"
He blinked. "What do you mean?"
Helga grabbed her cup of cocoa with a shaky hand. She took a long sip, then set it back down. "Why do you always want to change me? After this whole 'Save the Neighborhood' thing... I mean, you said it yourself; change isn't always good. So why me? Is it because you've already invested so much time in my pathetic existence? Is it because I'm the road block between you and your utopia? You've fixed so many problems Arnold, but I'm still like this. And you know what? I'm fine with that. I'm me." Mrs. Johanson peeked her head in from the other room, so Helga lowered her voice. "I know I'm selfish, Arnold, let me change my own ways, please. I mean, I'm always looking at myself and how others think upon me that I forget to broaden my scope. I've been trying to do that this week Arnold, and I think I've found something for this list about you. Is it okay if I ramble just a while longer?"
The anger on Arnold's face had subsided. "Please do."
"Remember back to the beginning of the year when we had Mrs. Slovack? She was always yelling your name, trying to bring you back from whatever la la land you were in to the real world. You were a beautiful dreamer, to use a clique. But I think you began to change after that one hot day when you started a riot against the Jolly Ollie man. Sure, it served him right for jacking up the price on his ice cream, but you hated the way that you had caused a situation to spiral out of control.
"Then there was Mr. Simmon's first day." She looked over at Arnold while she continued. His eyes were focused down at his folded arms on the table. "You helped the rest of us prank him until he cried. I remember when we all ran out of the classroom to defy his orders, you were the last one out. I know you were feeling remorse then.
"Since then, I've never seen that half lidded expression of yours. You've let the dreams die, and now you're stuck here with the crappy real world. You won't let yourself be a kid, don't you see? We all mess up, Arnold, and if we feel guilty, we say we're sorry. Mr. Simmons forgave us fully after we showed him how much he means to us. I mean, criminy, if Sid , Stinky and Harold tried to do good things to pay back for all the rotten things they'd done, they'd be working in the afterlife. We make mistakes, Arnold, and so we change ourselves to prevent mistakes from happening again, not try and make ourselves perfect. Aren't you tired of being the stable one? Do you ever scream? Ever lash out? Isn't it just building up inside to the point that you just want to burst?" She looked over at Arnold, who was now crying softly into his palms. He looked up as she placed a hand on his shoulder. "You've helped us this neighborhood so much, Arnold, we all owe you back. Whatever self-inflicted punishment you've put on yourself is done. Let us help you now."
Arnold took a deep breath. "Grandma and Grandpa haven't been doing so well lately." A few more tears escaped from his eyes, rolling down his cheeks. "The doctor's been coming to the boarding house to check up on them, and his visits have become more frequent, and every time they just keep getting sicker and sicker and... and I haven't told anyone because I didn't think--" As she moved over to the other side of the table, Helga could feel the winds of change. She embraced him, and he cried on her shoulder, finally free.
An: I'm always afraid of ending a chapter with a resolution, because it feels like an end. But it's not, more to come. Arnold's resolved, but will Helga pick up the pieces? Tune in whenever I update again! And go read Chief's Robert series right away. As in now. As in you. You. Now. W00T!
Miss Matched thinks you rock.
