Disclaimer: C.S.I. owned by other lucky beggars. Borrowed and returned in good order.
Titles: The Holiday Assignment (5)
Author: hazeleyes57
Spoilers: If any, only up to season 3
Author's notes: This was supposed to be the last chapter, but I can't finish it as quickly as I'd hoped and the (non review) emails I'm getting are beginning to sound desperate!! So this is only really half of chapter five for you to have a fix. Many of you want Sara to be pregnant and some of you do not, and I can't make everyone happy, so I'm going with my original plotline and apologise to the relevant group.
Thank you to everyone who has left a review, they have kept me going through tough times. Thanks for telling me where you were too, that was fantastic. I love the net!
Summary: Grissom may have realised too late what he wanted.
Rating: PG 13 (Smut in part 6!!)
The Holiday Assignment (5)
Grissom: "What is it?"
Nick: "Sara's been shot."
^^^^^^
Grissom stared at Nick as if he had grown two heads. He felt as if ice cold water was being poured over the inside of his body.
The words Nick had spoken echoed and repeated endlessly inside Grissom's skull.
All he could think was 'no, not Sara, not another Holly, please God no'.
Everyone was stunned, frozen into immobility with shock.
Both the desk phone and Grissom's cellphone continued to ring.
Catherine recovered first and snatched up the desk phone handset.
"Willows."
Grissom suddenly scrabbled to get his cell out before it stopped ringing.
Catherine expected it to be Jim Brass on the other end of the landline, so she was surprised when she heard Warrick's voice.
"I've just heard about Sara. You're gonna hate it, but day shift have got the crime scene. The good news is that Brass took the guy down. A righteous shoot. It was the cigarette arson guy they went to arrest. Came out all friendly with his hands up and had a gun taped behind his head."
"Is Sara okay? Do we know anything?"
Catherine thought that the arsonist could fry in hell for all she cared, she wanted to know that Sara was somehow all right.
"All I know is that she was still alive at the scene. Brass is trying Grissom's cell now; he couldn't get through on his office line. That's why Nick ran up. When you're done up there I'll drive you to the hospital. I'll wait down here."
"Okay. Down shortly."
Catherine hung up and moved to stand beside Nick, who was beginning to get some colour back in his face. She put her hand on his arm. She kept her voice low as Grissom listened intently on his cell.
"Sara was alive at the scene. There is still hope. Go get your things and meet Warrick downstairs. We'll be down in a minute."
Nick nodded jerkily, took a look at Grissom, then headed out of the office.
Catherine wanted everyone else away from Grissom just in case. She prayed, as she hadn't in a long time, that Sara would be okay especially now that Gil had nearly figured out that he needed her.
She hadn't heard Gil say anything other than his name when he answered his cell. She wished she knew what Brass was saying. Grissom's silence was nerve-wracking.
Grissom leaned on his left elbow on his desk, his left hand holding his cell up to his ear. His right hand rubbed his brow and then removed his glasses. When he finally did speak his voice seemed very loud in the silent office.
"Okay. We'll be right over...oh, probably all of us. Yes. Thank you Jim. See you shortly."
Grissom put his cell away and looked around to Catherine.
"Sara's in the Emergency Room at the hospital. She's still alive - "
"Thank God!" Catherine said fervently.
" - but she is unconscious. Apparently it was a head shot."
Grissom looked as if he were trying not to be sick. Catherine figured she looked exactly the same.
"Jim doesn't know how bad it is, he just said that there was...a lot of blood."
Catherine grabbed Grissom's jacket off his chair and practically threw it at him. He snatched his glasses up from the desk and quickly followed her out of his office.
They met up with Warrick and Nick outside the main entrance of their building. Neither of the men had wanted to wait inside.
"One or two cars?"
Warrick asked the assembled group, not certain if Catherine was leading or if Grissom was still on it.
"Take one. There's limited parking and they'll probably try to stop us seeing her to begin with, anyway. We're not family."
His response demonstrated that he was on the ball for which Warrick was grateful, but the tone of Grissom's voice indicated that there would be trouble if they couldn't see Sara.
"I'll drive."
Nick didn't trust Warrick's driving at the best of times, let alone under these circumstances, Grissom's he wasn't certain about for obvious - but to him, unspoken - reasons, and he figured that Cath. was the best person to sit in back with Grissom and keep him sane.
No one argued; Warrick climbed in beside Nick in the front, and the other two got in the back.
Nick only narrowly avoided leaving rubber on the asphalt as he pulled out and at least two of the Tahoe's occupants were still buckling up. No one complained.
Even with minimal early morning traffic it was still a twenty-minute drive to the hospital.
Catherine glanced worriedly at Grissom. She wanted desperately to give him some comfort and as a mother the urge to hold him was strong, but he radiated such an air of careful control that she was reminded of the thin crust over molten lava. One touch and you would unleash the volcano. She knew regardless of anything that Grissom had said or not said, he cared deeply for Sara and she only hoped that he would get the chance to tell her.
Warrick felt an unaccustomed uselessness. He wanted to be in back with Catherine to support her, but understood her need to support Grissom. He wanted to drive because he would get them there faster than Nicky. He wished that they had blues and twos. Hell, he just wanted to be there now. Layered upon everything else was his self-blame over Holly's death.
Nick was working on more than one level. One part was driving with speed and skill, taking everything in with an epinephrine stoked clarity, another part was fearfully worried about Sara who could have been his sister for all the affection that he held for her. A third part was now wondering if there was any truth to the rumour about Sara being pregnant, and if so, who the father was. She had admitted to a holiday romance with 'someone' but when he thought about it later, that didn't entirely ring true. She was hung up on Grissom and Mr. X would have to have been really special to make her get over that. Sara had brought in just a few holiday photos after their conversation that night when she had returned to work and he had recognised Florida.
Grissom had been in Florida.
Nicky now found himself going over conversations that he had had with Catherine and, to a lesser extent Warrick, and putting this new spin on them. He suddenly remembered that time he had gone into the break room and thought he'd interrupted 'something' between Grissom and Sara. Maybe it hadn't been about work at all. Hell, what a mess. Lord help them all if Sara died.
Grissom was aware of his surroundings, he knew where he was, where he was going and whom he was with, but it was all curiously detached from him. A part of him was wondering how he could function at all and part of him was just saying 'no' all the time.
It didn't occur to him that he was in shock.
When he was younger he had wondered which was the better way to die when it was his turn. Would it be better being sudden, like an accident or a heart attack - bang and he was gone, no time to fret. Or would it be better to know that he had six months to live so that he could put his affairs in order, living with the knowledge that the end was near. Curiously, it never seemed likely to him that he would die of old age. Maybe his job had made him pragmatic. When he got to his late thirties, he realised that it wasn't about him, it was about those that were left behind who would be affected by his passing. He decided that he'd rather know in advance so that he could sort out those left behind.
He never imagined that he would be the one left behind.
Grissom realised that he had made a big mistake with Sara.
But not with the time he had had with her in Florida - how grateful he was now that they had been together - the height of futility was to regret a pleasure that was past and he didn't regret one single second.
No, his big mistake was thinking that he could deal with it and move on. Sara was in his heart and in his head, and he had heard from her own lips that she loved him.
Why on Earth had he thought that he could simply walk away?
He had believed it because he needed to believe it so that he could give himself permission to be with her. He'd been stupid and arrogant. No, not stupid. Desperate. Desperate enough to play by her rules.
But they hadn't even been her rules. They had been his. Sara had managed to find the chink in his armour but he had forced her to resort to the situation that she had. He had been the one saying 'no'.
The whole thing seemed small now in the big scheme of things.
He hoped he would have the chance to tell her. Them.
Grissom's mind screamed to a halt and his heart thumped painfully in his chest.
Dear Lord, how could he have forgotten about the baby?
Catherine hadn't answered his question before Nick came in to the office. Was Sara pregnant? When they had discussed it in Florida - two events too late, he was ashamed to admit - Sara had told him that she was on the pill, but that wasn't foolproof so it could be possible.
Sara had been sick at work. She had been looking tired lately, but he had put that down to the fact that she was sleeping badly. Added to that was whatever Eckle's 'proof' had been.
It was all circumstantial evidence but it was all pointing in one direction.
Catherine thought for a moment that she had heard Grissom groan quietly, but when she looked at him he was staring out of the window, his right hand thumb and forefinger stroking his bottom lip absently.
The journey to the hospital seemed endless.
Ten long minutes later Nick pulled in to the hospital grounds and - as he drove straight to the bay reserved for ambulances - he said,
"When we stop, get out quick - you go in and I'll find somewhere to park. I'll see you in there."
Catherine looked at him with gratitude and picked up her purse in readiness.
The second the Tahoe stopped the three passengers got out double quick time and slammed the doors behind them.
Nick pulled away at a more respectful speed as the others quickly headed for the emergency area doors.
Grissom was out in front, with Warrick behind to his left and Catherine to his right. The doors opened automatically on a sensor and Grissom was moving so fast that he nearly hit them before they had time to open.
Warrick and Catherine looked at each other across the space behind their boss and silently communicated with the glance.
' I've never seen him like this.'
' What did you expect?'
Warrick nodded once in acknowledgement.
Grissom went straight up to the main desk reception, not even seeing Brass over to one side, talking to another detective.
"You have a Sara Sidle here, brought in with a gunshot wound. I need to see her."
Catherine wondered if he'd even realised that he'd said 'I need' not 'we need'.
The dark haired woman at the desk looked up from her clipboard and looked at the three newcomers, assessing them with a professional eye.
The man who had spoken presented himself with an air of authority that made her want to give him his information without question but she stopped her knee-jerk response with a little effort. The other man and the woman with him looked worried, but not with the same degree of anxiety as the first man.
In her best guess - aided by their prominently displayed ID badges - these were the patient's work colleagues, but she'd bet her bottom dollar that this man was closer to the patient than that. This information had all been processed in seconds and she stood up.
"May I ask who you are, please?"
Catherine could see nothing wrong with the pleasant enquiry but Grissom reacted as if he had been slapped.
"What?"
The woman, probably about Sara's age, looked sincerely sorry to have to ask the question again, but did so anyway.
"May I ask who you are to the patient? We are only allowed to give out information to patient's relatives."
Grissom looked at Catherine as much as to say 'am I dealing with an idiot?'
He turned back to the woman.
"I'm Gil Grissom, her boss - "
" - y fiancé. Yes, probably the bossiest fiancé in the whole of Vegas."
Catherine cut quickly across Grissom's sentence, completing it for him. She trod on his toe for good measure to get him to look at her, not the other woman. His head swung to her.
"What?"
Grissom glared at Catherine and she glared meaningfully back at him, eyebrows raised.
Warrick looked from one to the other and back like a spectator at a tennis match.
Comprehension dawned and Grissom looked back at the woman with the best 'of course' expression that he could manage under the circumstances.
"Yes, her fiancé. I got here as quickly as I could."
The woman, Helena by name, glanced briefly at Catherine with what the blond woman was surprised to interpret as respect. She thought that she had seen a small flicker of a smile ghost the woman's lips. Helena looked back to Grissom.
"Her fiancé. Well, that's all right then. If you would like to wait in the relatives' room over there, I'll get the Doctor to come and speak with you. When her Uncle has finished talking to the detectives I'm sure he will join you."
Grissom, Warrick and Catherine turned as one to look at Sara's 'uncle'.
It was Brass.
Wearing a shirt heavily stained with blood.
Reality crashed back and Grissom turned back to the woman with a hint of desperation.
"Please, at least just tell us if she is still alive."
Helena was supposed to give the 'the patient is in good hands' speech, but she could see that this man needed more than that. It was a question of knowing which rules to break. She lowered her voice discreetly.
"She is not out of the woods yet, but she is holding her own. And you did not hear that from me, okay?"
Grissom nodded once, giddy with temporary relief. There was more hope now than there had been a moment ago.
"When can we see her?"
"I don't have that information. Please wait in the relatives' room and I'll find out."
Grissom led the way to the room followed by Warrick and Catherine.
^^^^^^
Nick entered the emergency department and strode purposefully to the reception area. A trim dark haired woman stood with her back to him on the other side of the desk.
"Ma'am, could you tell me where I can find Sara Sidle? She was brought in a short while - "
Helena turned back to face this new voice as she put down the phone receiver.
And nearly forgot how to breathe. She had worked here for three years and she thought that she had seen it all, but this attractive man made all others pale in to insignificance.
She had the distinct impression that she was gaping.
"Sorry?"
"What?"
Nick had been turning heads all his life and yet had remained a modest and charming man. He found that it was best just to pretend that he didn't notice women's reaction to him.
This was the first time in his life that he had some idea how it felt to be on the other end of that equation.
He found himself drowning in the greenest eyes that he had ever seen. For a long moment he forgot about everything, even Sara.
Helena blinked and looked down, releasing Nick. She blushed, feeling rattled.
"Er, I'm sorry, are you a relative?"
"What? Oh, yeah. Sure. Sara's my cousin."
"If you would like to take this form with you and get all Ms. Sidle's family to fill it in, it would help. The rest of her family are in that relatives' room."
Helena indicated a closed door on the other side of the waiting room and Nick turned to see which one it was. He turned back.
"Really? I mean - that's really good that they got here so fast."
Helena smiled enigmatically and agreed.
Before Nick had chance to join the 'family', Brass finished his conversation with the other detective and joined him. He was holding a clean 'scrubs' top that a nurse had given him to change in to.
"You okay?"
Brass nodded. He looked worn out and tired.
"I'm sorry that I wasn't able to prevent that bastard - "
Nick held up a hand to stop the apology.
"You have nothing to reproach yourself for. You stopped him from finishing the job."
Nick belatedly realised that he didn't know if Sara was okay yet. He hoped what he had just told Brass still held true.
They went to join the others.
Grissom, Catherine and Warrick all looked up quickly when the door opened, hoping that it was Sara's Doctor.
They were disappointed that it wasn't the doctor, but relieved that Nick and Brass had joined them.
Catherine crossed the room to them both, placing a hand on each of them. She looked at the detective with sympathy.
"You okay, Jim?"
When he nodded, she continued.
"Apparently Sara is 'holding her own'. We're waiting for more news."
Nick found himself a seat, relief making him a little shaky.
"That's good news, isn't it? I mean, better than nothing, right?"
"Yes, it is."
Catherine looked at the form in his hands.
"What's that?"
Nick looked at it and searched his pockets for a pen.
"Oh, yeah. Lady outside wants Sara's family to fill in this form."
He looked a little sheepish.
"I told her that I was Sara's cousin. Sorry, it was the first thing that I could think of."
Warrick laughed gently, gesturing to Brass.
"So? Have you met Uncle Jim?"
One corner of Nick's mouth curved up in a half smile as Catherine scribbled on the form with her details then handed the clipboard to Grissom and added,
"Or her fiancé?"
Both Nick and Brass turned as one to Grissom. Catherine was privately amused that both men had taken it for granted that she was talking about Grissom.
Grissom signed without comment. Where was the damn Doctor?
Ten minutes later the door opened again and Helena came in.
"Sorry to disturb you, but have you finished with that form yet?"
Warrick handed the paperwork to her.
Helena looked down the form and her lips twitched in a manner very reminiscent of Grissom.
"Okay."
She looked up at the people in the room.
"It's nice to see that nepotism is alive and well in the Las Vegas Crime Lab."
"Pardon me?"
Grissom looked at the woman. They had all tucked their ID's away when they had come in to the relatives' room. Had she noticed them earlier?
"With the exception of Sara's 'uncle' in the LVPD, this entire list consists of members of the Crime Lab. all of whom are 'family'. Her fiancé, her cousin, her sister in law and her brother in law. Staggering coincidence, I mean, what are the odds?"
Grissom was grudgingly impressed with her perception despite the acute situation that they were in.
He looked around the room and saw that everyone else appeared to find the floor fascinating.
He looked back at the nurse, trying for innocence.
"Very slim."
"Yes. About as slim as the chance that all of you can go and see Ms. Sidle."
Helena stood resolute as everyone except Grissom started to protest. She held up one hand for silence.
"I'll go and get the Doctor who is dealing with Ms. Sidle as soon as they are able to leave her. In the meanwhile you can decide which two of you gets to visit."
She turned to Brass and indicated the clean scrubs.
"If you come with me I'll show you where you can shower and change."
Brass nodded wearily and followed her out of the room.
There was no discussion needed. It was a given that Grissom and Catherine would go and see Sara if and when they were allowed.
^^^^^^
It was possibly one of the longest hours of their lives before the trauma Doctor came to the waiting room. Brass had returned about fifteen minutes after he had left, having used the doctors' on-call room shower. Warrick had brought coffee for anyone who wanted one from a vending machine out in the main waiting room.
Talk was desultory. Catherine flipped through an old magazine without really taking anything in and Nick kept fidgeting in his chair. Grissom did not talk, flip or fidget. He stood staring out of the window at nothing in particular, lost in thought.
When Warrick had asked him about coffee Grissom had turned to him with an unguarded expression that could only be described as bleak. He had declined the offer of coffee.
Just as Grissom was seriously considering going and finding Sara himself, a man in blue 'scrubs' came in to the room to find himself the focus of all eyes. He looked around the room, wondering which of the men was his patient's fiancé.
"Mr. Grissom?"
"Yes?"
Well, he would have lost that bet. This guy looked the calmest of the lot.
"I'm Mike Kelly, Trauma Senior Reg."
The men shook hands.
"Gil Grissom. How's Sara?"
He stiffened, unconsciously bracing himself for the worst.
"She is doing as well as can be expected with the type of injury that she has."
"That tells me nothing. Will she live?"
Mike Kelly realised that he had underestimated this man. He wasn't calm at all, he was merely contained. His very detachment was the only way he could cope with this awful event.
"I have reason to be cautiously optimistic..."
There was a collective sigh of relief from the whole room and Catherine squeezed Warrick's arm where her hand had been resting. Grissom closed his eyes momentarily.
He sensed that there was more.
"However?"
"...however, the bullet struck Sara just above the right ear, a glancing blow fortunately or we wouldn't be here now. It's not always the bullet that does the most damage with gunshot injuries; it's the percussive force of impact. That is - "
"We know."
Brass sounded terse.
Kelly recalled Helena mentioning that one of the visitors was a LVPD man.
" Of course; the shock-wave will have pushed the brain against the inside of the skull, causing some bruising and swelling, but obviously we won't know how much until the CT scan is back. We think that the oedema is what is keeping her unconscious. Until she comes around we won't know the full extent of the damage to her brain."
"How long do you think it will take for her to come round?"
Kelly shook his head.
"We can't predict that. It could be half an hour or days. If you're ready I can take you through to her now."
Grissom nodded. He turned to Catherine who had started to get up.
"Would you give me a minute?"
She looked at him and subsided back in her chair.
"Sure. I'll catch you up."
Grissom left with Kelly. They hadn't taken ten paces when Grissom spoke.
" There is a possibility that Sara is pregnant."
Kelly looked at him with mild surprise.
"Sorry, I had no idea. It can't be very far advanced."
"Less than ten weeks. I...we don't know for certain, Sara hasn't done a test yet, didn't want to tempt fate."
Kelly nodded and Grissom felt bad for embroidering the truth.
"If she is, will the baby be okay?"
"It depends. There are no physical reasons for the pregnancy to be lost, no abdominal trauma, but she may go in to traumatic shock and that can sometimes cause a miscarriage. I'm afraid it's another 'wait and see'."
"Thank you."
By this time the two men had arrived in the Resus Department and Kelly took Grissom over to the end bed in the unit where Sara lay.
Kelly cast a quick eye over the information on the monitors out of habit and then left the couple together after letting Grissom know that he only had to ask if he had any more questions.
Grissom was shocked at how pale and small Sara looked. She was such a vital person that she seemed larger awake than this person lying here with a large dressing taped to the side of her head.
"Oh, honey..."
The words slipped out of Grissom before he could stop them. There was a wealth of emotion in them that would have brought joy to Sara's heart had she been able to hear him.
Grissom reached out and enfolded Sara's free right hand in his left, using his right hand to fold her fingers around his. Her left hand had a pulse-ox monitor clipped to the end of her forefinger and a Venflon canula in the back of her hand attached to a drip. Her arm was bent so that her hand rested over her belly, its appearance looking protective to Grissom.
He stood beside the bed, searching Sara's face for signs of returning consciousness or even just an awareness that he was here. He adjusted the oxygen line until it looked more comfortable.
When Catherine arrived in Resus a few minutes later, she held back by the entrance when she saw Gil on the far side of Sara's bed. The naked emotion visible on his face would have stunned anyone that thought Grissom was as an unemotional perfectionist. It probably would have surprised many that thought they did know him.
This was the man that Catherine knew had been on the inside all along, this man who mistakenly thought that he was unworthy of Sara's love.
She shook her head slowly, one corner of her mouth quirked upwards. It had taken him long enough!
She cleared her throat as she approached, just in case Gil wanted to retreat back into his shell in front of others.
Grissom glanced up at her, but to her pleasant surprise he remained holding Sara's hand.
Catherine raised one eyebrow in enquiry and smirked as she looked pointedly at their joined hands.
"Don't gloat, it doesn't become you." Gil said mildly.
"Aww, don't spoil my moment of glory."
She smiled, pleased for him. She just hoped that he wouldn't shut down the minute that Sara woke up.
"What happens now?"
Grissom shrugged.
"I don't know. When she recovers, it will depend on Sara and what she wants."
Catherine sighed. He still didn't get it completely.
"It's also about you and what you want as well. What do you want?"
"Sara." He said simply, as if it were obvious.
"That much is clear. I'm glad that you finally figured out what has been obvious to the rest of us for years."
Grissom looked at Catherine in surprise.
"Years?"
"Oh, yeah. Except for the brief wobble with Teri and Lady Heather - hey, you're a guy, we know you can't help it - you've been reasonably consistent in your affections, whether you realised it or not. Are you blushing?"
Grissom did look discomforted. He knew that he shouldn't have underestimated his team, they were the best.
He avoided answering by looking back at Sara. Catherine didn't let him off the hook.
"Would you like to know what Sara thinks about the two of you?"
Grissom looked at her, shocked at the thought that they had discussed him.
"Oh, don't look like that, she didn't give anything away. It was a while back and we were tired. I was talking about relationship stuff and the games people play. She said to me, ' You never lose by loving. You lose by holding back.' It made me think about my choice in men. I never did get round to thanking her."
"You think that I shouldn't hold back?"
"Bingo." She grinned, and then added, "You are going to have to keep it quiet at work though. Eckle will have a field day if he finds out."
"Eckle's an idiot."
Catherine smiled, realising that Gil was trying to distract her from his interest in Sara.
"Yeah, I know, but the idiot has powerful friends and he's gunning for you now."
"Ah, yes. The coffee pot."
"Two coffee pots. He'll probably start drinking tea."
Grissom laughed quietly. He sobered when he thought about what Eckle had wanted.
"He's after Sara as well."
"Only as a means to get you. She's just collateral damage."
"He'll use this pregnancy against her though, especially if he thinks that - "
Catherine held her hand up to stop Grissom saying any more.
"We were interrupted before I got chance to tell you earlier, but Sara's not - "
Catherine halted when Grissom suddenly twitched and his gaze searched Sara's face.
"She moved! I just felt her fingers move in my hand! Quick, find the call button."
Catherine pressed the switch on her side of the bed. She made herself a mental note to talk to Gil about Sara's 'pregnancy' as soon as she had the chance.
Grissom kept hold of Sara's hand, hoping to feel a repetition of the movement.
"Sara? Sara, can you hear me honey?"
Returning awareness came slowly and with pain for Sara. At first she could only hear voices and they seemed to be at the other end of a long tunnel. She felt that she should know these voices but their identities remained elusive for baffling moments.
Confusion followed. Why couldn't she see? Why was she lying down?
Had she overslept?
The ringing noise in her head must be her alarm clock. She tried to bat the alarm off but her left arm was stuck and wouldn't obey her command.
Noise. Pain. So tired, lemme sleep.
"Sara? Sara, can you hear me honey?"
Thank God, Gil was here with her. It was okay, she hadn't overslept, and they were on holiday. She smiled drowsily and realised that they were holding hands. She held on tight, she didn't want to lose him now.
Grissom was relieved to feel Sara's fingers give a slight squeeze of his hand. A little smile appeared momentarily then faded.
"Jones..." Sara sighed softly.
Catherine looked puzzled as Grissom smiled. Who the hell was Jones? And why did that make Gil smile?
Grissom caught her look.
"Long story."
"I look forward to hearing it."
Pity, because it was one he had no intention of telling anyone, not even Catherine.
"Sara, you are in hospital, can you open your eyes?"
Sara's sight had returned and she blinked up at Grissom in confusion.
"'pital?"
"Yes, hospital. Do you remember going out to arrest the arson suspect?"
Sara tried to recall the last thing that had happened before this moment. She closed her eyes to shut out any distraction from Grissom or Catherine.
She had a sudden flash of sitting in a car. Driving - no, being driven, talking to...to...Brass!
"Brass?"
"Yes, you were with Brass. Do you remember what happened?"
Sara frowned with the effort she was making.
"No. Just Brass in his car."
"It's okay, it's not important. You concentrate on getting better."
Just at that moment Dr. Kelly entered the unit and came to the bed, carrying a file.
Sara looked up at Grissom with concern.
"Is Brass okay? Did we crash?"
Grissom hurried to reassure her, and moved his right hand to cover their joined hands.
"No, you didn't crash and Brass is fine."
Sara's panicky glance went from their hands to Catherine and back to Gil. What was he doing?
She tried to slide her hand out in the vain hope that Catherine hadn't noticed, but Grissom wouldn't let her go.
"It's okay."
Sara turned to Catherine in surprise.
"What?"
The blonde smiled as she stepped aside for the Doctor to examine Sara.
"Gil will explain when he's ready, so give him a chance and listen."
She turned back to Grissom, ignoring Sara's look of astonishment.
"I'll go and let the others know that Sara has regained consciousness."
Grissom nodded, thanking her as she turned to go.
Dr. Kelly introduced himself to Sara then checked her vitals: pulse, respiration and pupil size/reaction. He did not touch the dressing on her head.
"That seems fine. How do you feel?"
"Splitting headache. Thirsty. A little confused." Here she looked at Gil, and he smirked, unrepentant.
Dr. Kelly nodded reassuringly.
"That's to be expected. I was just on my way back here to let your fiancé know the results of the CT scan. I was surprised to find that you have got off very lightly, all things considered."
Sara was sure that whatever the Doctor was saying was vitally important but she had stopped paying attention after the word 'fiancé' fell out of his mouth.
She looked up at Grissom in shock and then a glimmer of amusement shimmied through her surprise.
Gil Grissom looked for all the world like a naughty schoolboy caught out in a prank.
Sara couldn't bring herself to mind too much, after all, it meant he was holding her hand.
In company and in public!
Grissom and Sara looked at each other, both smiling slightly, one sheepish and the other amused.
Dr. Kelly realised that no one had noticed that he'd finished speaking. He looked from his patient to her fiancé and back. Regardless of their age difference it was obvious to him that they were very much in love, and it cheered him immensely that his team had been able to win this one.
With a small smile he added the scan to the patient's notes and slipped quietly away. He'd come back later.
Grissom didn't want to rush Sara with the news that he was hoping for a relationship with her, so he was just wondering how to bail himself out of this fix when she proved that her wonderful intellect was as sharp as ever.
"Family only, huh?"
"Yes." Grissom sounded relieved. "Catherine was quicker on the uptake than I was."
"So was that why she wasn't surprised to see us holding hands? She thought that you were 'playing along'?"
"Probably." He hedged.
Difficult to tell Sara that Catherine knew about them when she didn't know about it herself yet.
Sara regarded him evenly.
"So why are we still holding hands?"
"Ah."
Busted.
Without letting go of Sara's hand, Grissom seated himself on the side of her bed, facing her.
He looked over her beautiful face and gave thanks again for the second chance.
" 'Ah.' That's it, is it?" Sara asked, a little unnerved by this new Grissom.
"Patience." He laced his fingers through hers more securely and looked from their hands back up to her face.
"When I received the message that you had been shot, it was - "
"I was shot?!"
Sara's look of horror had probably matched his at the time.
"Yes, by the arson suspect you and Brass were going to arrest - "
"I was SHOT!"
"Yes, I - "
"In the HEAD!"
"Yes, I - "
"And nobody thought to TELL me?!"
She looked outraged at the sheer cheek of it.
Grissom wondered if he was ever going to get to finish a sentence again. He spoke quickly before she could interrupt again.
"I'm telling you now, and you were unconscious until a few minutes ago."
"That's not the point...Jeez," Sara settled back on her pillows, clearly rattled by the information. She suddenly remembered that Brass had been with her.
"Is Brass really okay?"
Grissom nodded.
"Yes, he's fine. He returned fire and shot the suspect. He wishes he'd done it before you were wounded."
"Brass is here now?"
"Yes, we're all in the relatives' room. You have acquired a large family."
Grissom could afford to find it amusing now that he knew Sara was okay.
Sara smiled, then remembered that Grissom was trying to explain about the handholding.
"Okay, I'll thank him when I get to see him. Now, about the hands?"
Grissom pursed his lips and decided to give Sara the short version of his epiphany. No holding back.
"I'm holding your hand...because I want to."
Sara's eyes widened in surprise.
"Remind me again who got the bang on the head?"
^^^^^^
Catherine entered the relatives' room with a big smile on her face.
"Sara's awake. She's talking."
Everyone sagged with relief, and Warrick got up and came over to give Catherine a hug.
Then they were all hugging and talking at once, laughing and a little misty-eyed, but no one minded.
"Do you think that they'll let us see her now?"
Catherine looked at Nick and understood his need to see Sara for himself, but she figured that Sara and Gill had a lot to talk about and might not want to be interrupted just yet.
"I don't know. Perhaps you could go and ask Helena what the policy is now that Sara is awake?"
Of course, the fact that Helena was not unattractive and might distract Nicky for a while never crossed Catherine's mind.
^^^^^^
A nurse had returned to Sara's bed to remove the oxygen tube and generally make her more comfortable. She checked Sara's observations again and noted them on her chart.
When she had finished and turned to leave, Sara stopped her.
"Can you tell me when I can get out of here?"
The nurse looked surprised.
"Not for twenty four hours at least with your head injury. You are on half hourly obs. until noon, then hourly until six p.m. then - "
Sara stopped her quickly.
"I get the picture. When is the earliest I can leave if everything checks out?"
"Tomorrow morning. You'll be spending the night, at least. We're making arrangements to transfer you to a ward shortly."
"Oh." Sara looked dismayed. "Thanks."
The nurse left, but before Grissom could console Sara, Helena entered the unit and came over.
"Your family want to visit with you now that you are awake. You may have two at a time for a few minutes if you're feeling up to it."
Sara looked at Grissom. She didn't want to share him yet. She looked back to the woman.
"Can you give me a minute before you bring them in?"
"Sure."
Sara turned back to Gil once they were alone.
"I have to tell you that I like this." She indicated their hands with her drip hand.
Grissom was relieved, but also sensed a 'but' coming up.
"But I need to know where you are going with it. Do you know what to do about it now?"
Grissom supposed that he deserved that.
"I like to think so. I want the opportunity to talk to you about it, at least."
"Good. I'm okay with that." She looked at him seriously. "I just want you to realise that I would not have minded if anyone found out that we were together in Florida. I'm not ashamed of you or of us. I don't care who knew about it. But until we know ourselves where this is going now, I'd prefer not to let anyone else in on 'this'."
Sara gave his hand a final squeeze, then reluctantly opened her fingers to let him go.
"I understand. But we will talk."
It was a firm promise.
Grissom quickly raised her hand to his lips and gave it a kiss before placing it back on the bedding.
He was just in time, as Brass and Nick came through the unit to Sara's bed a moment later.
Grissom stood back near the head of Sara's bed despite the 'two visitor' rule.
As Brass and Sara talked, Nick wondered if it was just his new suspicions about Sara and Grissom that made Grissom's position beside the bed look distinctly territorial.
After reassuring himself that Sara was okay, Nick found that the few minutes they were allowed was already over. They said their goodbyes, and assured her that they would be back to visit later in the day, after they had had some sleep.
As he and Brass left the unit, Nick felt considerably validated when the older man casually commented,
" Was it my imagination, or was there a distinct whiff of testosterone in there?"
Nick grinned. He mentally pulled a victory 'yes!'
"For sure."
Brass smiled as he shook his head. God help them both.
They passed Catherine and Warrick going the other way. Nick stopped them briefly.
"Hey, guys, I'm gonna wait in reception for you. When you're done I'll run us back to base for the cars."
"Thanks bro. See you in ten."
Warrick's easy saunter resumed beside Catherine's shorter stride. She turned to Warrick and smiled.
"It worked after all. Something happened in Florida, it must have done. Sara being injured has made him realise what she means to him."
Warrick didn't need to ask what - or who - she was talking about.
"You sure about that?"
"He held her hand - in front of me!"
"Cool."
Warrick's tone held real admiration.
Hell, for Grissom that was practically sex.
When they entered the unit a few moments later, they could see for themselves that Grissom was not going to leave Sara's side until the staff kicked him out.
Catherine was pleased and amused. She wondered what Sara thought about it all.
Sara was both thrilled and worried.
Thrilled because she felt that they were on the cusp of something amazing.
Worried because if this was Grissom's idea of keeping it between the two of them, it sucked.
^^^^^^
Warrick acted as if nothing had changed between Sara and Grissom and greeted her with relief at her survival. He stepped back and let Catherine move closer to the bed. She looked Sara over.
"I'm pleased to see that you've got a little more colour than you had earlier."
Catherine wondered if Grissom had been responsible for it, but was wise enough not to ask outright. She could see for herself that they had decided to try to keep 'it' under wraps for now, it was the only workable solution for their professional relationship.
"Yeah, I feel well enough to leave but they won't let me go until this time tomorrow."
"Do you want me to get you some things from your place?"
Catherine thought that Sara would prefer another woman to go and collect personal items.
"No, it's okay. Thanks anyway."
The last thing Sara wanted Catherine to see was the photograph of her and Gil that was beside her bed.
"It's no trouble."
Sara realised that Catherine wasn't going to give up.
"It's fine. Grissom has already agreed to go for me."
Catherine looked surprised.
"He has?"
"I have?"
Grissom looked surprised too until he realised that there must be something at Sara's that she thought Catherine shouldn't see, unaware that Catherine had guessed about them.
"I have." He repeated firmly to make sure there was no doubt.
Catherine bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from laughing aloud at the expressions on both of their faces.
"That's okay then. Gil, we'll wait for you in reception. Sara, be well, we'll see you later."
"Yeah, hang in there kiddo."
Warrick smiled as he backed away from the bed and turned to walk out with Catherine.
Sara smiled and gave a small wave as they left.
Now there was just her and Grissom and she felt strangely nervous.
"You okay?"
Grissom moved back to where Sara could see him without having to turn her head. He took Sara's hand back in his and was pleased to feel her hold him in return.
Just as Sara's touch had reassured Grissom back in his room at the hotel on their first night, so his touch reassured her now. She gave him one of the big smiles that she saved just for him.
"Not entirely, but I think I'm getting there."
"Good. Good."
Grissom looked down at their joined hands and realised that their lives had fundamentally changed today.
In a way he should be grateful to the man that had shot Sara. It had been the wake up call that he needed. Part of him was scared about the changes that were coming to his life - to their lives - but it felt like the good scared that he experienced on a new roller coaster ride.
It was exhilarating. He smiled suddenly. There might even be a new passenger on its way.
Sara had been watching the play of emotion across his face and wondered at the smile.
"What?"
"Nothing. Everything."
He shrugged and smirked, looking like the cat that had got the cream.
"That's a little cosmic for you. Wanna share?"
Sara was curiously intrigued.
"Not yet, but when I do, you'll be the first to know."
Grissom didn't think this was the right time to ask Sara if she was pregnant.
"Cool."
Sara yawned suddenly before she had chance to put her hand up to her mouth so Grissom reflexively yawned too.
"Grissom, go home and get some sleep. The others are waiting for you, and they'll be tired too. Come back later, if you want."
"If I want? What do you want Sara?"
Sara's brown eyes smiled gently at him.
"You." She said simply.
^^^^^^
Sara was standing impatiently beside the hospital bed the next morning when Grissom came to take her home. He had returned to the hospital the previous day having collected the few things that Sara had wanted from her place, and these were now in a small overnight case on the end of the bed.
He walked up to her and looked her over from head to toe. Apart from the dressing on the side of her head and her pale complexion, she looked her usual self, if a little tense.
He didn't ask if she was ready to go, it was written all over her.
"Come on. Tear yourself away."
Sara laughed but her bottom lip trembled a little. She was very grateful when Gil took her hand in his, sharing his warmth and his strength. He picked up her case and they left together.
As soon as Sara was comfortably settled in the Tahoe, Grissom drove out of the hospital and headed home. After a few minutes Sara turned to him, looking puzzled.
"Where are we going? This isn't the way to my place."
Grissom glanced at her before returning his gaze to the road.
"I know. We're not going to your place. We're going to mine."
"Oh? Did you forget something?"
"No. I'm taking you home so that you won't be alone during your convalescence."
"Excuse me?"
"I have taken a week off so that I can take care of you."
Sara thought that it was a good job that she was sitting down.
"Oh."
Sara was sure that the expression on her face was a match for the one that had been on Grissom's face when she had touched him to remove 'chalk dust' from his cheek.
She was going to stay at Grissom's place.
While he took care of her.
Her bottom lip trembled as the overwhelming emotions ran through her.
Joy, fear, love and anxiety, a roller coaster of huge highs and plummeting lows.
It was all too much and the delayed shock rose up and hit her hard.
She burst in to tears.
It was safe to say that it wasn't the reaction Grissom was expecting.
He quickly checked the traffic behind him and indicated to pull over to the side of the road.
He stopped the Tahoe and released Sara's seatbelt, pulling her over to him and into his embrace.
Sara continued to cry, despising the tears but unable to stop them. She went unresisting into Grissom's arms and held on tight, her face buried in his neck.
He held her secure with one arm while his other hand stroked her back soothingly. He let her cry it all out without making any effort to stop her, until eventually she was quiet, except for the occasional hitch of breath.
"Better?"
Sara started to nod but stopped when she realised that her dressing was touching Grissom's jaw, making it press on her head painfully. She pulled away slightly and turned her head so that she rested on his shoulder.
"Yeah. Sorry about that."
"Don't you dare apologise. You have nothing to be sorry about."
Grissom knew that Sara hated to be seen as weak, he was just grateful that he had been here when she needed him.
"Much as I'd enjoy sitting here with you, I think we'd better leave before the traffic police arrive. Ready to go?"
"Yeah, I think so."
Sara straightened up and slid back into her seat. She put her seatbelt back on and looked across to Grissom.
He was looking back at her like he had when he was Mr. Jones.
"Let's go home."
^^^^^^
Twenty minutes later Grissom opened his front door and stepped back to allow Sara to enter first. She walked down the short passage to the large open plan town house's main room.
The large windows on the right hand side let in a flood of sunlight even with the half-closed venetian blinds. Sara heard the door close behind her and a moment later Grissom walked past her, going over to the blinds to darken the room a little.
"You've moved some of the stuff around."
"You're observant, it's a while since you've seen the place."
Sara lifted one shoulder in a careless gesture. It wasn't her fault that she hadn't been here in a while. She moved to sit on the brown leather sofa, feeling a little shaky.
Grissom returned to the hall table by the front door and collected Sara's case from where he'd left it. He looked at Sara and was not happy with her colour.
"Would you like to lie down?"
What she would have given to hear that six months ago. Sara grinned suddenly, feeling a little like her old self.
"Best offer I've had all day."
Grissom smiled at the flirty comment.
"Is that a yes or a no?"
"Actually, I think it's a yes."
Sara got up and started to walk, a little unsteadily, over to Grissom.
He dropped the overnight case and strode over to her. He picked her up in his arms and turned towards his bedroom.
"You should have said if you felt faint."
"I'm not - exactly. Just felt a little woozy for a moment. The hospital warned me it might happen. I guess I stood up a little too quickly."
"Well, you won't be standing for a while, so get some rest."
Grissom gently placed Sara on his bed, then took off her shoes and put her legs under the lightweight quilt. He moved to the windows and closed the drapes.
Sara looked at Grissom. She was finally in his bed.
And too damn tired to do anything about it.
Grissom looked down at her. Sara was in his bed at last. He had fantasised about this moment so often, even more since the holiday, and now that it was here it wasn't at all what he expected.
"Need anything?"
"Yes."
Grissom raised his eyebrows in query.
"You. Here. With me. Just hold me. Please?"
Grissom smirked as he started to undo his shirt buttons.
"Best offer I've had all day."
Sara grinned and watched the man she loved strip to his boxers and climb in to bed beside her. Her head hurt too much for lovemaking, but this was the next best thing, and maybe later she'd feel better. Grissom spooned up behind her as she lay on her left side. He kissed the exposed part of her neck and wrapped his right arm around her.
"Okay?"
"Much better."
Grissom lay awake until he was certain that Sara slept. He moved his right arm slightly so that his hand rested on her belly, and he wondered.
Later they would have to talk.
.
.
.
.
TBC.
.
.
Titles: The Holiday Assignment (5)
Author: hazeleyes57
Spoilers: If any, only up to season 3
Author's notes: This was supposed to be the last chapter, but I can't finish it as quickly as I'd hoped and the (non review) emails I'm getting are beginning to sound desperate!! So this is only really half of chapter five for you to have a fix. Many of you want Sara to be pregnant and some of you do not, and I can't make everyone happy, so I'm going with my original plotline and apologise to the relevant group.
Thank you to everyone who has left a review, they have kept me going through tough times. Thanks for telling me where you were too, that was fantastic. I love the net!
Summary: Grissom may have realised too late what he wanted.
Rating: PG 13 (Smut in part 6!!)
The Holiday Assignment (5)
Grissom: "What is it?"
Nick: "Sara's been shot."
^^^^^^
Grissom stared at Nick as if he had grown two heads. He felt as if ice cold water was being poured over the inside of his body.
The words Nick had spoken echoed and repeated endlessly inside Grissom's skull.
All he could think was 'no, not Sara, not another Holly, please God no'.
Everyone was stunned, frozen into immobility with shock.
Both the desk phone and Grissom's cellphone continued to ring.
Catherine recovered first and snatched up the desk phone handset.
"Willows."
Grissom suddenly scrabbled to get his cell out before it stopped ringing.
Catherine expected it to be Jim Brass on the other end of the landline, so she was surprised when she heard Warrick's voice.
"I've just heard about Sara. You're gonna hate it, but day shift have got the crime scene. The good news is that Brass took the guy down. A righteous shoot. It was the cigarette arson guy they went to arrest. Came out all friendly with his hands up and had a gun taped behind his head."
"Is Sara okay? Do we know anything?"
Catherine thought that the arsonist could fry in hell for all she cared, she wanted to know that Sara was somehow all right.
"All I know is that she was still alive at the scene. Brass is trying Grissom's cell now; he couldn't get through on his office line. That's why Nick ran up. When you're done up there I'll drive you to the hospital. I'll wait down here."
"Okay. Down shortly."
Catherine hung up and moved to stand beside Nick, who was beginning to get some colour back in his face. She put her hand on his arm. She kept her voice low as Grissom listened intently on his cell.
"Sara was alive at the scene. There is still hope. Go get your things and meet Warrick downstairs. We'll be down in a minute."
Nick nodded jerkily, took a look at Grissom, then headed out of the office.
Catherine wanted everyone else away from Grissom just in case. She prayed, as she hadn't in a long time, that Sara would be okay especially now that Gil had nearly figured out that he needed her.
She hadn't heard Gil say anything other than his name when he answered his cell. She wished she knew what Brass was saying. Grissom's silence was nerve-wracking.
Grissom leaned on his left elbow on his desk, his left hand holding his cell up to his ear. His right hand rubbed his brow and then removed his glasses. When he finally did speak his voice seemed very loud in the silent office.
"Okay. We'll be right over...oh, probably all of us. Yes. Thank you Jim. See you shortly."
Grissom put his cell away and looked around to Catherine.
"Sara's in the Emergency Room at the hospital. She's still alive - "
"Thank God!" Catherine said fervently.
" - but she is unconscious. Apparently it was a head shot."
Grissom looked as if he were trying not to be sick. Catherine figured she looked exactly the same.
"Jim doesn't know how bad it is, he just said that there was...a lot of blood."
Catherine grabbed Grissom's jacket off his chair and practically threw it at him. He snatched his glasses up from the desk and quickly followed her out of his office.
They met up with Warrick and Nick outside the main entrance of their building. Neither of the men had wanted to wait inside.
"One or two cars?"
Warrick asked the assembled group, not certain if Catherine was leading or if Grissom was still on it.
"Take one. There's limited parking and they'll probably try to stop us seeing her to begin with, anyway. We're not family."
His response demonstrated that he was on the ball for which Warrick was grateful, but the tone of Grissom's voice indicated that there would be trouble if they couldn't see Sara.
"I'll drive."
Nick didn't trust Warrick's driving at the best of times, let alone under these circumstances, Grissom's he wasn't certain about for obvious - but to him, unspoken - reasons, and he figured that Cath. was the best person to sit in back with Grissom and keep him sane.
No one argued; Warrick climbed in beside Nick in the front, and the other two got in the back.
Nick only narrowly avoided leaving rubber on the asphalt as he pulled out and at least two of the Tahoe's occupants were still buckling up. No one complained.
Even with minimal early morning traffic it was still a twenty-minute drive to the hospital.
Catherine glanced worriedly at Grissom. She wanted desperately to give him some comfort and as a mother the urge to hold him was strong, but he radiated such an air of careful control that she was reminded of the thin crust over molten lava. One touch and you would unleash the volcano. She knew regardless of anything that Grissom had said or not said, he cared deeply for Sara and she only hoped that he would get the chance to tell her.
Warrick felt an unaccustomed uselessness. He wanted to be in back with Catherine to support her, but understood her need to support Grissom. He wanted to drive because he would get them there faster than Nicky. He wished that they had blues and twos. Hell, he just wanted to be there now. Layered upon everything else was his self-blame over Holly's death.
Nick was working on more than one level. One part was driving with speed and skill, taking everything in with an epinephrine stoked clarity, another part was fearfully worried about Sara who could have been his sister for all the affection that he held for her. A third part was now wondering if there was any truth to the rumour about Sara being pregnant, and if so, who the father was. She had admitted to a holiday romance with 'someone' but when he thought about it later, that didn't entirely ring true. She was hung up on Grissom and Mr. X would have to have been really special to make her get over that. Sara had brought in just a few holiday photos after their conversation that night when she had returned to work and he had recognised Florida.
Grissom had been in Florida.
Nicky now found himself going over conversations that he had had with Catherine and, to a lesser extent Warrick, and putting this new spin on them. He suddenly remembered that time he had gone into the break room and thought he'd interrupted 'something' between Grissom and Sara. Maybe it hadn't been about work at all. Hell, what a mess. Lord help them all if Sara died.
Grissom was aware of his surroundings, he knew where he was, where he was going and whom he was with, but it was all curiously detached from him. A part of him was wondering how he could function at all and part of him was just saying 'no' all the time.
It didn't occur to him that he was in shock.
When he was younger he had wondered which was the better way to die when it was his turn. Would it be better being sudden, like an accident or a heart attack - bang and he was gone, no time to fret. Or would it be better to know that he had six months to live so that he could put his affairs in order, living with the knowledge that the end was near. Curiously, it never seemed likely to him that he would die of old age. Maybe his job had made him pragmatic. When he got to his late thirties, he realised that it wasn't about him, it was about those that were left behind who would be affected by his passing. He decided that he'd rather know in advance so that he could sort out those left behind.
He never imagined that he would be the one left behind.
Grissom realised that he had made a big mistake with Sara.
But not with the time he had had with her in Florida - how grateful he was now that they had been together - the height of futility was to regret a pleasure that was past and he didn't regret one single second.
No, his big mistake was thinking that he could deal with it and move on. Sara was in his heart and in his head, and he had heard from her own lips that she loved him.
Why on Earth had he thought that he could simply walk away?
He had believed it because he needed to believe it so that he could give himself permission to be with her. He'd been stupid and arrogant. No, not stupid. Desperate. Desperate enough to play by her rules.
But they hadn't even been her rules. They had been his. Sara had managed to find the chink in his armour but he had forced her to resort to the situation that she had. He had been the one saying 'no'.
The whole thing seemed small now in the big scheme of things.
He hoped he would have the chance to tell her. Them.
Grissom's mind screamed to a halt and his heart thumped painfully in his chest.
Dear Lord, how could he have forgotten about the baby?
Catherine hadn't answered his question before Nick came in to the office. Was Sara pregnant? When they had discussed it in Florida - two events too late, he was ashamed to admit - Sara had told him that she was on the pill, but that wasn't foolproof so it could be possible.
Sara had been sick at work. She had been looking tired lately, but he had put that down to the fact that she was sleeping badly. Added to that was whatever Eckle's 'proof' had been.
It was all circumstantial evidence but it was all pointing in one direction.
Catherine thought for a moment that she had heard Grissom groan quietly, but when she looked at him he was staring out of the window, his right hand thumb and forefinger stroking his bottom lip absently.
The journey to the hospital seemed endless.
Ten long minutes later Nick pulled in to the hospital grounds and - as he drove straight to the bay reserved for ambulances - he said,
"When we stop, get out quick - you go in and I'll find somewhere to park. I'll see you in there."
Catherine looked at him with gratitude and picked up her purse in readiness.
The second the Tahoe stopped the three passengers got out double quick time and slammed the doors behind them.
Nick pulled away at a more respectful speed as the others quickly headed for the emergency area doors.
Grissom was out in front, with Warrick behind to his left and Catherine to his right. The doors opened automatically on a sensor and Grissom was moving so fast that he nearly hit them before they had time to open.
Warrick and Catherine looked at each other across the space behind their boss and silently communicated with the glance.
' I've never seen him like this.'
' What did you expect?'
Warrick nodded once in acknowledgement.
Grissom went straight up to the main desk reception, not even seeing Brass over to one side, talking to another detective.
"You have a Sara Sidle here, brought in with a gunshot wound. I need to see her."
Catherine wondered if he'd even realised that he'd said 'I need' not 'we need'.
The dark haired woman at the desk looked up from her clipboard and looked at the three newcomers, assessing them with a professional eye.
The man who had spoken presented himself with an air of authority that made her want to give him his information without question but she stopped her knee-jerk response with a little effort. The other man and the woman with him looked worried, but not with the same degree of anxiety as the first man.
In her best guess - aided by their prominently displayed ID badges - these were the patient's work colleagues, but she'd bet her bottom dollar that this man was closer to the patient than that. This information had all been processed in seconds and she stood up.
"May I ask who you are, please?"
Catherine could see nothing wrong with the pleasant enquiry but Grissom reacted as if he had been slapped.
"What?"
The woman, probably about Sara's age, looked sincerely sorry to have to ask the question again, but did so anyway.
"May I ask who you are to the patient? We are only allowed to give out information to patient's relatives."
Grissom looked at Catherine as much as to say 'am I dealing with an idiot?'
He turned back to the woman.
"I'm Gil Grissom, her boss - "
" - y fiancé. Yes, probably the bossiest fiancé in the whole of Vegas."
Catherine cut quickly across Grissom's sentence, completing it for him. She trod on his toe for good measure to get him to look at her, not the other woman. His head swung to her.
"What?"
Grissom glared at Catherine and she glared meaningfully back at him, eyebrows raised.
Warrick looked from one to the other and back like a spectator at a tennis match.
Comprehension dawned and Grissom looked back at the woman with the best 'of course' expression that he could manage under the circumstances.
"Yes, her fiancé. I got here as quickly as I could."
The woman, Helena by name, glanced briefly at Catherine with what the blond woman was surprised to interpret as respect. She thought that she had seen a small flicker of a smile ghost the woman's lips. Helena looked back to Grissom.
"Her fiancé. Well, that's all right then. If you would like to wait in the relatives' room over there, I'll get the Doctor to come and speak with you. When her Uncle has finished talking to the detectives I'm sure he will join you."
Grissom, Warrick and Catherine turned as one to look at Sara's 'uncle'.
It was Brass.
Wearing a shirt heavily stained with blood.
Reality crashed back and Grissom turned back to the woman with a hint of desperation.
"Please, at least just tell us if she is still alive."
Helena was supposed to give the 'the patient is in good hands' speech, but she could see that this man needed more than that. It was a question of knowing which rules to break. She lowered her voice discreetly.
"She is not out of the woods yet, but she is holding her own. And you did not hear that from me, okay?"
Grissom nodded once, giddy with temporary relief. There was more hope now than there had been a moment ago.
"When can we see her?"
"I don't have that information. Please wait in the relatives' room and I'll find out."
Grissom led the way to the room followed by Warrick and Catherine.
^^^^^^
Nick entered the emergency department and strode purposefully to the reception area. A trim dark haired woman stood with her back to him on the other side of the desk.
"Ma'am, could you tell me where I can find Sara Sidle? She was brought in a short while - "
Helena turned back to face this new voice as she put down the phone receiver.
And nearly forgot how to breathe. She had worked here for three years and she thought that she had seen it all, but this attractive man made all others pale in to insignificance.
She had the distinct impression that she was gaping.
"Sorry?"
"What?"
Nick had been turning heads all his life and yet had remained a modest and charming man. He found that it was best just to pretend that he didn't notice women's reaction to him.
This was the first time in his life that he had some idea how it felt to be on the other end of that equation.
He found himself drowning in the greenest eyes that he had ever seen. For a long moment he forgot about everything, even Sara.
Helena blinked and looked down, releasing Nick. She blushed, feeling rattled.
"Er, I'm sorry, are you a relative?"
"What? Oh, yeah. Sure. Sara's my cousin."
"If you would like to take this form with you and get all Ms. Sidle's family to fill it in, it would help. The rest of her family are in that relatives' room."
Helena indicated a closed door on the other side of the waiting room and Nick turned to see which one it was. He turned back.
"Really? I mean - that's really good that they got here so fast."
Helena smiled enigmatically and agreed.
Before Nick had chance to join the 'family', Brass finished his conversation with the other detective and joined him. He was holding a clean 'scrubs' top that a nurse had given him to change in to.
"You okay?"
Brass nodded. He looked worn out and tired.
"I'm sorry that I wasn't able to prevent that bastard - "
Nick held up a hand to stop the apology.
"You have nothing to reproach yourself for. You stopped him from finishing the job."
Nick belatedly realised that he didn't know if Sara was okay yet. He hoped what he had just told Brass still held true.
They went to join the others.
Grissom, Catherine and Warrick all looked up quickly when the door opened, hoping that it was Sara's Doctor.
They were disappointed that it wasn't the doctor, but relieved that Nick and Brass had joined them.
Catherine crossed the room to them both, placing a hand on each of them. She looked at the detective with sympathy.
"You okay, Jim?"
When he nodded, she continued.
"Apparently Sara is 'holding her own'. We're waiting for more news."
Nick found himself a seat, relief making him a little shaky.
"That's good news, isn't it? I mean, better than nothing, right?"
"Yes, it is."
Catherine looked at the form in his hands.
"What's that?"
Nick looked at it and searched his pockets for a pen.
"Oh, yeah. Lady outside wants Sara's family to fill in this form."
He looked a little sheepish.
"I told her that I was Sara's cousin. Sorry, it was the first thing that I could think of."
Warrick laughed gently, gesturing to Brass.
"So? Have you met Uncle Jim?"
One corner of Nick's mouth curved up in a half smile as Catherine scribbled on the form with her details then handed the clipboard to Grissom and added,
"Or her fiancé?"
Both Nick and Brass turned as one to Grissom. Catherine was privately amused that both men had taken it for granted that she was talking about Grissom.
Grissom signed without comment. Where was the damn Doctor?
Ten minutes later the door opened again and Helena came in.
"Sorry to disturb you, but have you finished with that form yet?"
Warrick handed the paperwork to her.
Helena looked down the form and her lips twitched in a manner very reminiscent of Grissom.
"Okay."
She looked up at the people in the room.
"It's nice to see that nepotism is alive and well in the Las Vegas Crime Lab."
"Pardon me?"
Grissom looked at the woman. They had all tucked their ID's away when they had come in to the relatives' room. Had she noticed them earlier?
"With the exception of Sara's 'uncle' in the LVPD, this entire list consists of members of the Crime Lab. all of whom are 'family'. Her fiancé, her cousin, her sister in law and her brother in law. Staggering coincidence, I mean, what are the odds?"
Grissom was grudgingly impressed with her perception despite the acute situation that they were in.
He looked around the room and saw that everyone else appeared to find the floor fascinating.
He looked back at the nurse, trying for innocence.
"Very slim."
"Yes. About as slim as the chance that all of you can go and see Ms. Sidle."
Helena stood resolute as everyone except Grissom started to protest. She held up one hand for silence.
"I'll go and get the Doctor who is dealing with Ms. Sidle as soon as they are able to leave her. In the meanwhile you can decide which two of you gets to visit."
She turned to Brass and indicated the clean scrubs.
"If you come with me I'll show you where you can shower and change."
Brass nodded wearily and followed her out of the room.
There was no discussion needed. It was a given that Grissom and Catherine would go and see Sara if and when they were allowed.
^^^^^^
It was possibly one of the longest hours of their lives before the trauma Doctor came to the waiting room. Brass had returned about fifteen minutes after he had left, having used the doctors' on-call room shower. Warrick had brought coffee for anyone who wanted one from a vending machine out in the main waiting room.
Talk was desultory. Catherine flipped through an old magazine without really taking anything in and Nick kept fidgeting in his chair. Grissom did not talk, flip or fidget. He stood staring out of the window at nothing in particular, lost in thought.
When Warrick had asked him about coffee Grissom had turned to him with an unguarded expression that could only be described as bleak. He had declined the offer of coffee.
Just as Grissom was seriously considering going and finding Sara himself, a man in blue 'scrubs' came in to the room to find himself the focus of all eyes. He looked around the room, wondering which of the men was his patient's fiancé.
"Mr. Grissom?"
"Yes?"
Well, he would have lost that bet. This guy looked the calmest of the lot.
"I'm Mike Kelly, Trauma Senior Reg."
The men shook hands.
"Gil Grissom. How's Sara?"
He stiffened, unconsciously bracing himself for the worst.
"She is doing as well as can be expected with the type of injury that she has."
"That tells me nothing. Will she live?"
Mike Kelly realised that he had underestimated this man. He wasn't calm at all, he was merely contained. His very detachment was the only way he could cope with this awful event.
"I have reason to be cautiously optimistic..."
There was a collective sigh of relief from the whole room and Catherine squeezed Warrick's arm where her hand had been resting. Grissom closed his eyes momentarily.
He sensed that there was more.
"However?"
"...however, the bullet struck Sara just above the right ear, a glancing blow fortunately or we wouldn't be here now. It's not always the bullet that does the most damage with gunshot injuries; it's the percussive force of impact. That is - "
"We know."
Brass sounded terse.
Kelly recalled Helena mentioning that one of the visitors was a LVPD man.
" Of course; the shock-wave will have pushed the brain against the inside of the skull, causing some bruising and swelling, but obviously we won't know how much until the CT scan is back. We think that the oedema is what is keeping her unconscious. Until she comes around we won't know the full extent of the damage to her brain."
"How long do you think it will take for her to come round?"
Kelly shook his head.
"We can't predict that. It could be half an hour or days. If you're ready I can take you through to her now."
Grissom nodded. He turned to Catherine who had started to get up.
"Would you give me a minute?"
She looked at him and subsided back in her chair.
"Sure. I'll catch you up."
Grissom left with Kelly. They hadn't taken ten paces when Grissom spoke.
" There is a possibility that Sara is pregnant."
Kelly looked at him with mild surprise.
"Sorry, I had no idea. It can't be very far advanced."
"Less than ten weeks. I...we don't know for certain, Sara hasn't done a test yet, didn't want to tempt fate."
Kelly nodded and Grissom felt bad for embroidering the truth.
"If she is, will the baby be okay?"
"It depends. There are no physical reasons for the pregnancy to be lost, no abdominal trauma, but she may go in to traumatic shock and that can sometimes cause a miscarriage. I'm afraid it's another 'wait and see'."
"Thank you."
By this time the two men had arrived in the Resus Department and Kelly took Grissom over to the end bed in the unit where Sara lay.
Kelly cast a quick eye over the information on the monitors out of habit and then left the couple together after letting Grissom know that he only had to ask if he had any more questions.
Grissom was shocked at how pale and small Sara looked. She was such a vital person that she seemed larger awake than this person lying here with a large dressing taped to the side of her head.
"Oh, honey..."
The words slipped out of Grissom before he could stop them. There was a wealth of emotion in them that would have brought joy to Sara's heart had she been able to hear him.
Grissom reached out and enfolded Sara's free right hand in his left, using his right hand to fold her fingers around his. Her left hand had a pulse-ox monitor clipped to the end of her forefinger and a Venflon canula in the back of her hand attached to a drip. Her arm was bent so that her hand rested over her belly, its appearance looking protective to Grissom.
He stood beside the bed, searching Sara's face for signs of returning consciousness or even just an awareness that he was here. He adjusted the oxygen line until it looked more comfortable.
When Catherine arrived in Resus a few minutes later, she held back by the entrance when she saw Gil on the far side of Sara's bed. The naked emotion visible on his face would have stunned anyone that thought Grissom was as an unemotional perfectionist. It probably would have surprised many that thought they did know him.
This was the man that Catherine knew had been on the inside all along, this man who mistakenly thought that he was unworthy of Sara's love.
She shook her head slowly, one corner of her mouth quirked upwards. It had taken him long enough!
She cleared her throat as she approached, just in case Gil wanted to retreat back into his shell in front of others.
Grissom glanced up at her, but to her pleasant surprise he remained holding Sara's hand.
Catherine raised one eyebrow in enquiry and smirked as she looked pointedly at their joined hands.
"Don't gloat, it doesn't become you." Gil said mildly.
"Aww, don't spoil my moment of glory."
She smiled, pleased for him. She just hoped that he wouldn't shut down the minute that Sara woke up.
"What happens now?"
Grissom shrugged.
"I don't know. When she recovers, it will depend on Sara and what she wants."
Catherine sighed. He still didn't get it completely.
"It's also about you and what you want as well. What do you want?"
"Sara." He said simply, as if it were obvious.
"That much is clear. I'm glad that you finally figured out what has been obvious to the rest of us for years."
Grissom looked at Catherine in surprise.
"Years?"
"Oh, yeah. Except for the brief wobble with Teri and Lady Heather - hey, you're a guy, we know you can't help it - you've been reasonably consistent in your affections, whether you realised it or not. Are you blushing?"
Grissom did look discomforted. He knew that he shouldn't have underestimated his team, they were the best.
He avoided answering by looking back at Sara. Catherine didn't let him off the hook.
"Would you like to know what Sara thinks about the two of you?"
Grissom looked at her, shocked at the thought that they had discussed him.
"Oh, don't look like that, she didn't give anything away. It was a while back and we were tired. I was talking about relationship stuff and the games people play. She said to me, ' You never lose by loving. You lose by holding back.' It made me think about my choice in men. I never did get round to thanking her."
"You think that I shouldn't hold back?"
"Bingo." She grinned, and then added, "You are going to have to keep it quiet at work though. Eckle will have a field day if he finds out."
"Eckle's an idiot."
Catherine smiled, realising that Gil was trying to distract her from his interest in Sara.
"Yeah, I know, but the idiot has powerful friends and he's gunning for you now."
"Ah, yes. The coffee pot."
"Two coffee pots. He'll probably start drinking tea."
Grissom laughed quietly. He sobered when he thought about what Eckle had wanted.
"He's after Sara as well."
"Only as a means to get you. She's just collateral damage."
"He'll use this pregnancy against her though, especially if he thinks that - "
Catherine held her hand up to stop Grissom saying any more.
"We were interrupted before I got chance to tell you earlier, but Sara's not - "
Catherine halted when Grissom suddenly twitched and his gaze searched Sara's face.
"She moved! I just felt her fingers move in my hand! Quick, find the call button."
Catherine pressed the switch on her side of the bed. She made herself a mental note to talk to Gil about Sara's 'pregnancy' as soon as she had the chance.
Grissom kept hold of Sara's hand, hoping to feel a repetition of the movement.
"Sara? Sara, can you hear me honey?"
Returning awareness came slowly and with pain for Sara. At first she could only hear voices and they seemed to be at the other end of a long tunnel. She felt that she should know these voices but their identities remained elusive for baffling moments.
Confusion followed. Why couldn't she see? Why was she lying down?
Had she overslept?
The ringing noise in her head must be her alarm clock. She tried to bat the alarm off but her left arm was stuck and wouldn't obey her command.
Noise. Pain. So tired, lemme sleep.
"Sara? Sara, can you hear me honey?"
Thank God, Gil was here with her. It was okay, she hadn't overslept, and they were on holiday. She smiled drowsily and realised that they were holding hands. She held on tight, she didn't want to lose him now.
Grissom was relieved to feel Sara's fingers give a slight squeeze of his hand. A little smile appeared momentarily then faded.
"Jones..." Sara sighed softly.
Catherine looked puzzled as Grissom smiled. Who the hell was Jones? And why did that make Gil smile?
Grissom caught her look.
"Long story."
"I look forward to hearing it."
Pity, because it was one he had no intention of telling anyone, not even Catherine.
"Sara, you are in hospital, can you open your eyes?"
Sara's sight had returned and she blinked up at Grissom in confusion.
"'pital?"
"Yes, hospital. Do you remember going out to arrest the arson suspect?"
Sara tried to recall the last thing that had happened before this moment. She closed her eyes to shut out any distraction from Grissom or Catherine.
She had a sudden flash of sitting in a car. Driving - no, being driven, talking to...to...Brass!
"Brass?"
"Yes, you were with Brass. Do you remember what happened?"
Sara frowned with the effort she was making.
"No. Just Brass in his car."
"It's okay, it's not important. You concentrate on getting better."
Just at that moment Dr. Kelly entered the unit and came to the bed, carrying a file.
Sara looked up at Grissom with concern.
"Is Brass okay? Did we crash?"
Grissom hurried to reassure her, and moved his right hand to cover their joined hands.
"No, you didn't crash and Brass is fine."
Sara's panicky glance went from their hands to Catherine and back to Gil. What was he doing?
She tried to slide her hand out in the vain hope that Catherine hadn't noticed, but Grissom wouldn't let her go.
"It's okay."
Sara turned to Catherine in surprise.
"What?"
The blonde smiled as she stepped aside for the Doctor to examine Sara.
"Gil will explain when he's ready, so give him a chance and listen."
She turned back to Grissom, ignoring Sara's look of astonishment.
"I'll go and let the others know that Sara has regained consciousness."
Grissom nodded, thanking her as she turned to go.
Dr. Kelly introduced himself to Sara then checked her vitals: pulse, respiration and pupil size/reaction. He did not touch the dressing on her head.
"That seems fine. How do you feel?"
"Splitting headache. Thirsty. A little confused." Here she looked at Gil, and he smirked, unrepentant.
Dr. Kelly nodded reassuringly.
"That's to be expected. I was just on my way back here to let your fiancé know the results of the CT scan. I was surprised to find that you have got off very lightly, all things considered."
Sara was sure that whatever the Doctor was saying was vitally important but she had stopped paying attention after the word 'fiancé' fell out of his mouth.
She looked up at Grissom in shock and then a glimmer of amusement shimmied through her surprise.
Gil Grissom looked for all the world like a naughty schoolboy caught out in a prank.
Sara couldn't bring herself to mind too much, after all, it meant he was holding her hand.
In company and in public!
Grissom and Sara looked at each other, both smiling slightly, one sheepish and the other amused.
Dr. Kelly realised that no one had noticed that he'd finished speaking. He looked from his patient to her fiancé and back. Regardless of their age difference it was obvious to him that they were very much in love, and it cheered him immensely that his team had been able to win this one.
With a small smile he added the scan to the patient's notes and slipped quietly away. He'd come back later.
Grissom didn't want to rush Sara with the news that he was hoping for a relationship with her, so he was just wondering how to bail himself out of this fix when she proved that her wonderful intellect was as sharp as ever.
"Family only, huh?"
"Yes." Grissom sounded relieved. "Catherine was quicker on the uptake than I was."
"So was that why she wasn't surprised to see us holding hands? She thought that you were 'playing along'?"
"Probably." He hedged.
Difficult to tell Sara that Catherine knew about them when she didn't know about it herself yet.
Sara regarded him evenly.
"So why are we still holding hands?"
"Ah."
Busted.
Without letting go of Sara's hand, Grissom seated himself on the side of her bed, facing her.
He looked over her beautiful face and gave thanks again for the second chance.
" 'Ah.' That's it, is it?" Sara asked, a little unnerved by this new Grissom.
"Patience." He laced his fingers through hers more securely and looked from their hands back up to her face.
"When I received the message that you had been shot, it was - "
"I was shot?!"
Sara's look of horror had probably matched his at the time.
"Yes, by the arson suspect you and Brass were going to arrest - "
"I was SHOT!"
"Yes, I - "
"In the HEAD!"
"Yes, I - "
"And nobody thought to TELL me?!"
She looked outraged at the sheer cheek of it.
Grissom wondered if he was ever going to get to finish a sentence again. He spoke quickly before she could interrupt again.
"I'm telling you now, and you were unconscious until a few minutes ago."
"That's not the point...Jeez," Sara settled back on her pillows, clearly rattled by the information. She suddenly remembered that Brass had been with her.
"Is Brass really okay?"
Grissom nodded.
"Yes, he's fine. He returned fire and shot the suspect. He wishes he'd done it before you were wounded."
"Brass is here now?"
"Yes, we're all in the relatives' room. You have acquired a large family."
Grissom could afford to find it amusing now that he knew Sara was okay.
Sara smiled, then remembered that Grissom was trying to explain about the handholding.
"Okay, I'll thank him when I get to see him. Now, about the hands?"
Grissom pursed his lips and decided to give Sara the short version of his epiphany. No holding back.
"I'm holding your hand...because I want to."
Sara's eyes widened in surprise.
"Remind me again who got the bang on the head?"
^^^^^^
Catherine entered the relatives' room with a big smile on her face.
"Sara's awake. She's talking."
Everyone sagged with relief, and Warrick got up and came over to give Catherine a hug.
Then they were all hugging and talking at once, laughing and a little misty-eyed, but no one minded.
"Do you think that they'll let us see her now?"
Catherine looked at Nick and understood his need to see Sara for himself, but she figured that Sara and Gill had a lot to talk about and might not want to be interrupted just yet.
"I don't know. Perhaps you could go and ask Helena what the policy is now that Sara is awake?"
Of course, the fact that Helena was not unattractive and might distract Nicky for a while never crossed Catherine's mind.
^^^^^^
A nurse had returned to Sara's bed to remove the oxygen tube and generally make her more comfortable. She checked Sara's observations again and noted them on her chart.
When she had finished and turned to leave, Sara stopped her.
"Can you tell me when I can get out of here?"
The nurse looked surprised.
"Not for twenty four hours at least with your head injury. You are on half hourly obs. until noon, then hourly until six p.m. then - "
Sara stopped her quickly.
"I get the picture. When is the earliest I can leave if everything checks out?"
"Tomorrow morning. You'll be spending the night, at least. We're making arrangements to transfer you to a ward shortly."
"Oh." Sara looked dismayed. "Thanks."
The nurse left, but before Grissom could console Sara, Helena entered the unit and came over.
"Your family want to visit with you now that you are awake. You may have two at a time for a few minutes if you're feeling up to it."
Sara looked at Grissom. She didn't want to share him yet. She looked back to the woman.
"Can you give me a minute before you bring them in?"
"Sure."
Sara turned back to Gil once they were alone.
"I have to tell you that I like this." She indicated their hands with her drip hand.
Grissom was relieved, but also sensed a 'but' coming up.
"But I need to know where you are going with it. Do you know what to do about it now?"
Grissom supposed that he deserved that.
"I like to think so. I want the opportunity to talk to you about it, at least."
"Good. I'm okay with that." She looked at him seriously. "I just want you to realise that I would not have minded if anyone found out that we were together in Florida. I'm not ashamed of you or of us. I don't care who knew about it. But until we know ourselves where this is going now, I'd prefer not to let anyone else in on 'this'."
Sara gave his hand a final squeeze, then reluctantly opened her fingers to let him go.
"I understand. But we will talk."
It was a firm promise.
Grissom quickly raised her hand to his lips and gave it a kiss before placing it back on the bedding.
He was just in time, as Brass and Nick came through the unit to Sara's bed a moment later.
Grissom stood back near the head of Sara's bed despite the 'two visitor' rule.
As Brass and Sara talked, Nick wondered if it was just his new suspicions about Sara and Grissom that made Grissom's position beside the bed look distinctly territorial.
After reassuring himself that Sara was okay, Nick found that the few minutes they were allowed was already over. They said their goodbyes, and assured her that they would be back to visit later in the day, after they had had some sleep.
As he and Brass left the unit, Nick felt considerably validated when the older man casually commented,
" Was it my imagination, or was there a distinct whiff of testosterone in there?"
Nick grinned. He mentally pulled a victory 'yes!'
"For sure."
Brass smiled as he shook his head. God help them both.
They passed Catherine and Warrick going the other way. Nick stopped them briefly.
"Hey, guys, I'm gonna wait in reception for you. When you're done I'll run us back to base for the cars."
"Thanks bro. See you in ten."
Warrick's easy saunter resumed beside Catherine's shorter stride. She turned to Warrick and smiled.
"It worked after all. Something happened in Florida, it must have done. Sara being injured has made him realise what she means to him."
Warrick didn't need to ask what - or who - she was talking about.
"You sure about that?"
"He held her hand - in front of me!"
"Cool."
Warrick's tone held real admiration.
Hell, for Grissom that was practically sex.
When they entered the unit a few moments later, they could see for themselves that Grissom was not going to leave Sara's side until the staff kicked him out.
Catherine was pleased and amused. She wondered what Sara thought about it all.
Sara was both thrilled and worried.
Thrilled because she felt that they were on the cusp of something amazing.
Worried because if this was Grissom's idea of keeping it between the two of them, it sucked.
^^^^^^
Warrick acted as if nothing had changed between Sara and Grissom and greeted her with relief at her survival. He stepped back and let Catherine move closer to the bed. She looked Sara over.
"I'm pleased to see that you've got a little more colour than you had earlier."
Catherine wondered if Grissom had been responsible for it, but was wise enough not to ask outright. She could see for herself that they had decided to try to keep 'it' under wraps for now, it was the only workable solution for their professional relationship.
"Yeah, I feel well enough to leave but they won't let me go until this time tomorrow."
"Do you want me to get you some things from your place?"
Catherine thought that Sara would prefer another woman to go and collect personal items.
"No, it's okay. Thanks anyway."
The last thing Sara wanted Catherine to see was the photograph of her and Gil that was beside her bed.
"It's no trouble."
Sara realised that Catherine wasn't going to give up.
"It's fine. Grissom has already agreed to go for me."
Catherine looked surprised.
"He has?"
"I have?"
Grissom looked surprised too until he realised that there must be something at Sara's that she thought Catherine shouldn't see, unaware that Catherine had guessed about them.
"I have." He repeated firmly to make sure there was no doubt.
Catherine bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from laughing aloud at the expressions on both of their faces.
"That's okay then. Gil, we'll wait for you in reception. Sara, be well, we'll see you later."
"Yeah, hang in there kiddo."
Warrick smiled as he backed away from the bed and turned to walk out with Catherine.
Sara smiled and gave a small wave as they left.
Now there was just her and Grissom and she felt strangely nervous.
"You okay?"
Grissom moved back to where Sara could see him without having to turn her head. He took Sara's hand back in his and was pleased to feel her hold him in return.
Just as Sara's touch had reassured Grissom back in his room at the hotel on their first night, so his touch reassured her now. She gave him one of the big smiles that she saved just for him.
"Not entirely, but I think I'm getting there."
"Good. Good."
Grissom looked down at their joined hands and realised that their lives had fundamentally changed today.
In a way he should be grateful to the man that had shot Sara. It had been the wake up call that he needed. Part of him was scared about the changes that were coming to his life - to their lives - but it felt like the good scared that he experienced on a new roller coaster ride.
It was exhilarating. He smiled suddenly. There might even be a new passenger on its way.
Sara had been watching the play of emotion across his face and wondered at the smile.
"What?"
"Nothing. Everything."
He shrugged and smirked, looking like the cat that had got the cream.
"That's a little cosmic for you. Wanna share?"
Sara was curiously intrigued.
"Not yet, but when I do, you'll be the first to know."
Grissom didn't think this was the right time to ask Sara if she was pregnant.
"Cool."
Sara yawned suddenly before she had chance to put her hand up to her mouth so Grissom reflexively yawned too.
"Grissom, go home and get some sleep. The others are waiting for you, and they'll be tired too. Come back later, if you want."
"If I want? What do you want Sara?"
Sara's brown eyes smiled gently at him.
"You." She said simply.
^^^^^^
Sara was standing impatiently beside the hospital bed the next morning when Grissom came to take her home. He had returned to the hospital the previous day having collected the few things that Sara had wanted from her place, and these were now in a small overnight case on the end of the bed.
He walked up to her and looked her over from head to toe. Apart from the dressing on the side of her head and her pale complexion, she looked her usual self, if a little tense.
He didn't ask if she was ready to go, it was written all over her.
"Come on. Tear yourself away."
Sara laughed but her bottom lip trembled a little. She was very grateful when Gil took her hand in his, sharing his warmth and his strength. He picked up her case and they left together.
As soon as Sara was comfortably settled in the Tahoe, Grissom drove out of the hospital and headed home. After a few minutes Sara turned to him, looking puzzled.
"Where are we going? This isn't the way to my place."
Grissom glanced at her before returning his gaze to the road.
"I know. We're not going to your place. We're going to mine."
"Oh? Did you forget something?"
"No. I'm taking you home so that you won't be alone during your convalescence."
"Excuse me?"
"I have taken a week off so that I can take care of you."
Sara thought that it was a good job that she was sitting down.
"Oh."
Sara was sure that the expression on her face was a match for the one that had been on Grissom's face when she had touched him to remove 'chalk dust' from his cheek.
She was going to stay at Grissom's place.
While he took care of her.
Her bottom lip trembled as the overwhelming emotions ran through her.
Joy, fear, love and anxiety, a roller coaster of huge highs and plummeting lows.
It was all too much and the delayed shock rose up and hit her hard.
She burst in to tears.
It was safe to say that it wasn't the reaction Grissom was expecting.
He quickly checked the traffic behind him and indicated to pull over to the side of the road.
He stopped the Tahoe and released Sara's seatbelt, pulling her over to him and into his embrace.
Sara continued to cry, despising the tears but unable to stop them. She went unresisting into Grissom's arms and held on tight, her face buried in his neck.
He held her secure with one arm while his other hand stroked her back soothingly. He let her cry it all out without making any effort to stop her, until eventually she was quiet, except for the occasional hitch of breath.
"Better?"
Sara started to nod but stopped when she realised that her dressing was touching Grissom's jaw, making it press on her head painfully. She pulled away slightly and turned her head so that she rested on his shoulder.
"Yeah. Sorry about that."
"Don't you dare apologise. You have nothing to be sorry about."
Grissom knew that Sara hated to be seen as weak, he was just grateful that he had been here when she needed him.
"Much as I'd enjoy sitting here with you, I think we'd better leave before the traffic police arrive. Ready to go?"
"Yeah, I think so."
Sara straightened up and slid back into her seat. She put her seatbelt back on and looked across to Grissom.
He was looking back at her like he had when he was Mr. Jones.
"Let's go home."
^^^^^^
Twenty minutes later Grissom opened his front door and stepped back to allow Sara to enter first. She walked down the short passage to the large open plan town house's main room.
The large windows on the right hand side let in a flood of sunlight even with the half-closed venetian blinds. Sara heard the door close behind her and a moment later Grissom walked past her, going over to the blinds to darken the room a little.
"You've moved some of the stuff around."
"You're observant, it's a while since you've seen the place."
Sara lifted one shoulder in a careless gesture. It wasn't her fault that she hadn't been here in a while. She moved to sit on the brown leather sofa, feeling a little shaky.
Grissom returned to the hall table by the front door and collected Sara's case from where he'd left it. He looked at Sara and was not happy with her colour.
"Would you like to lie down?"
What she would have given to hear that six months ago. Sara grinned suddenly, feeling a little like her old self.
"Best offer I've had all day."
Grissom smiled at the flirty comment.
"Is that a yes or a no?"
"Actually, I think it's a yes."
Sara got up and started to walk, a little unsteadily, over to Grissom.
He dropped the overnight case and strode over to her. He picked her up in his arms and turned towards his bedroom.
"You should have said if you felt faint."
"I'm not - exactly. Just felt a little woozy for a moment. The hospital warned me it might happen. I guess I stood up a little too quickly."
"Well, you won't be standing for a while, so get some rest."
Grissom gently placed Sara on his bed, then took off her shoes and put her legs under the lightweight quilt. He moved to the windows and closed the drapes.
Sara looked at Grissom. She was finally in his bed.
And too damn tired to do anything about it.
Grissom looked down at her. Sara was in his bed at last. He had fantasised about this moment so often, even more since the holiday, and now that it was here it wasn't at all what he expected.
"Need anything?"
"Yes."
Grissom raised his eyebrows in query.
"You. Here. With me. Just hold me. Please?"
Grissom smirked as he started to undo his shirt buttons.
"Best offer I've had all day."
Sara grinned and watched the man she loved strip to his boxers and climb in to bed beside her. Her head hurt too much for lovemaking, but this was the next best thing, and maybe later she'd feel better. Grissom spooned up behind her as she lay on her left side. He kissed the exposed part of her neck and wrapped his right arm around her.
"Okay?"
"Much better."
Grissom lay awake until he was certain that Sara slept. He moved his right arm slightly so that his hand rested on her belly, and he wondered.
Later they would have to talk.
.
.
.
.
TBC.
.
.
