Old's Stuff's Cool Too! 3

1980's!

I'm back in... um... I guess I'm back in purple. This's the next part; me and the girls had just walked into the 80's Cafe. We weren't expecting much, but what we did see, I think, scarred us for the rest of our lives...

***

It blasted down on them in a flash of neon and day glow burning their eyes. People all around, dressed in white jackets with the sleeves pushed up, Izod shirts with acid wash jeans, miscellaneous day-glow shirts with tight fitting pants, and just about everything else considered WRONG by today's standards. Tables were scattered without order around the large, circular room, leaving only enough room for a small karioke stage in the wall opposite the door. People milled around as "Video Killed the Radio Star" blasted through high-fi speakers, Pat Beckett sitting smack in the middle, chatting it up with possum friends and falcon buddies.

However, this did not last long.

"PAT!"

Pat, with her broad muzzle and dull eyes, glared evilly at the puppy. "You're actually here?"

"What were you expecting?" Parappa rattled off with cool arrogance. "I wanna go back home."

"I guess so..." Pat seemed bored, interested only in a drink she held in her hand. "So, what song did Celine let you sing?"

"Um..." Parappa stalled, then turned to the girls behind him. "What was that song called?"

"All Star," Katy Kat answered. "I think."

"ALL STAR!!??"

Pat was suddenly three inches away from Parappa's face, her drink thrown to the ground. "CELINE LET YOU SING 'ALL STAR'?!"

Parappa puppy simply cringed, inching back ever so slightly while whimpering.

Pat pulled herself back into a standing position and screamed to the group behind her. "Celine let a rapper sing 'All Star'! Isn't that giving the thing away?!"

As the mix-matched crowd rabbled in agreement, the girls began to chat amongst themselves.

"What's going on?" Lammy whispered to Katy.

"I dunno!" Katy whispered back.

#The 80's were confusing, there's your explanation,# Ma-san laughed.

(The words "Pat Benetar Beckett" appeared on the bottom of the screen. Pat strikes a tough girl pose in front of the cafe's stage.)

"Well, Celine always was a softy," Pat began her obligatory speech. "The songs I choose are a challenge to sing; they require talent, volume, and most of all... Image!"

"Image?"

Pat sneered, an evil glitter appearing in her eye. Her eyes fell sneakily upon Parappa's attire. "You're not gonna sing The Bangles wearing That, are you?"

***

"How do I look?"

"Oh... um... (snicker)..."

"Great! (snicker) You look.. (chortle) great- (giggle)-"

#HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!#

Parappa looked ridiculous. A neon green, Members only jacket, thrown on over a "Choose Life" t-shirt, tight acid wash jeans (Parappa was Apparently having trouble breathing), orange high-tops, and a single rhinestone glove over his right hand. Parappa's head, however, was untouched; his hat was sacred to him, and he was never allowed to take it off.

Puppy-Rappa cocked his head naively, wondering why the girls were laughing. "What?"

"Nothing-" Katy lied, covering her mouth so Parappa couldn't see her laughing.

"Just- teehuhuhuh- go..go do your best up there you'll be great!" Lammy stuttered before breaking out into a gale of laughter.

"Uh... yeah!" Parappa tried his cheer, but something didn't come out right. "I gotta... believe?"

"Perfect!" Pat squealed giddily. "Now you look perfect! Let's go!"

And with that, Pat yanked Parappa onto the stage, leaving Milkcan rolling on the floor.

***

(Lesson 1. Pat and Parappa are on the Karioke stage.)

Pat: All the old paintings on the tombs

They do the sand dance don't you know

If they move too quick

Other kids: (oh whey oh)

They're falling down like a domino

Parappa :All the bazaar men by the Nile

They got the money on a bet

(Neon lights shine behind Parappa. They say "GNARLY". He's not singing right.)

Parappa: Gold crocodiles

Other kids: (oh whey oh)

They snap their teeth on your cigarette

Pat: Foreign types with the hookah pipes say

Parappa: Ay oh whey oh-oh, ay oh whey oh

(Neon lights shine again. They said "RAD".)

Pat: Walk like an Egyptian

Pat: The blonde waitresses take their trays

They spin around and they cross the floor

Parappa: They've got the moves

Other kids: (oh whey oh)

Parappa: You drop your drink then they bring you more

Pat: All the school kids so sick of books

They like the punk and the metal band

Parappa: When the buzzer rings

Other kids: (oh whey oh)

Parappa: They're walking like an Egyptian

Parappa: All the kids in the marketplace say

("GNARLY")

Pat: Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh

Parappa: Walk like an Egyptian

(Parappa is surprised when the "RAD" sign doesn't light up.)

Pat: Slide your feet up the street bend your back

Parappa: Shift your arm then you pull it back

Life is hard you know (oh whey oh)

Pat: So strike a pose on a Cadillac

Pat: If you want to find all the cops

Parappa: They're hanging out in the donut shop

Pat: They sing and dance

Other kids: (oh whey oh)

Parappa: Spin the clubs cruise down the block

Pat: (switching very quickly in Japanese clothes) All the Japanese with their yen

Parappa: (switching into party clothes) The party boys call the Kremlin

Pat: (switching into Chinese clothes) And the Chinese know

Other kids: (oh whey oh)

Parappa: (Egyptian clothes) They walk the line like Egyptian

Pat: All the cops in the donut shop say

Parappa: Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh

Walk like an Egyptian

Walk like an Egyptian

***

"You passed?" Pat asked in disbelief. "But that's- no way!"

"YES!" Parappa yelped, jumping up into the air. "YES YES YES YES YES!"

Pat shook her head unbelievingly. "Wicked."

***

"Take the south road, don't stop until you reach the Falcon's club, then turn right."

"We'll see the DiscoTech from there," Katy finished Pat's instructions, which Lammy was repeating.

"So, I'm doing okay!" Parappa laughed. He had changed back into his normal clothes, thankfully, and was feeling as free as a bird. "Yeah!"

#You looked ridiculous in that outfit!# Ma-san giggled.

"I.... did?"

"Oh no," Lammy sighed.

"Aw, man, I did.....?" Parappa quickly sank back into his misery. He sat down on the sidewalk, a dark cloud circling him. "But I... I passed the test!"

#Barely!# Ma-san corrected him. Lammy kicked her.

"You didn't look that bad, Parappa!" Lammy tried to comfort him.

"You woulda looked great if it were the 80s!" Katy snapped her fingers at the sudden idea. "Styles change!"

"Yeah, you're right, they do!" Parappa lept back to his feet. "It Is Okay!"

"Okay!" Lammy cheered him on, patting him on the shoulder. "Now, let's go Disco!"

"Yeah!" Parappa howled. He and Lammy's faces quickly changed, however, as they figured out what they said.

"Wait!" they spoke in unison. "Disco!?"

Okay, next is 70s, don't need help there, because I know what I'm doing!