Disclaimer thing: WE do not own these characters, except Callie and Sallie,
and the pink stiletto boots. (we don't own the boots literally, as in, have
our own pare,...yuk...we just thought of them) oh yes and Frederick too! And
the bark on the tree, that's ours.
A/N: Hi guys!!!! This chapter is written by Ell-leigh! Hope you all enjoy it and have a good laugh! Cos I think it is really funny!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE review to tell us what you thought of it, because it is always nice for the author to get some feedback from it!
To their surprise they landed on some beautiful earth, with a loud...
THUD!
"That hurt."
The beautiful rays of the beautiful Middle-Earth-Sun beautifully shone on the beautiful tangled mess of arms, legs and pink, fluffy, stiletto boots...beautifully.
"Am I still alive?" Sally said, rolling over and pulling a long, broken twig from underneath her back.
Suddenly a ring of faces was staring down on them. One of them, an extremely tall, pointy-eared Orlando Bloom look-alike squealed- "Oh. My. GODS," hyperventilated breathing. "Where did you get those SHOES?!?"
Finally someone with a little fashion sense, Callie thought, blood dripping from her nail. Oh God, Broken NAIL.
Sallie cracked her neck, took a tall, handsome, manly man's hand, and then stood up with his manly help.
"Who be you who fall from yonder sky to beneath ye golden apple tree?" He asked manly-ly with dramatic hand gestures. Callie raised an eyebrow.
"In English please?"
"Who are you?" He said, pointing at Callie who was lying in the tall, blond, Oh-My-Gods-where-did-you-get-those-shoes!?! One's arms, as he inspected her broken fingernail.
"Callie," she replied.
"And you?" He said to Sallie.
"Sallie," she smiled sweetly, and attempted to flutter her eyelashes, although smiling and fluttering to get a guy's attention was not her forte; more of her sister's.
"I be Aragorn, son of Arathorn. He be Legolas, son of Thranduil, he is Frodo of the Shire, Gimli son of Gloin, Merry Brandybuck and Pippin Took," he pointed his manly finger as he said each of the names. "Sam," he paused and then whispered towards the girls, "he is a little strange..." The one called Legolas nodded in agreement. "Boromir son of Denethor, Gandalf-the- Grey," and pointing to a hunched over slimy-looking creature with a fish fin between its two front teeth, he said, "and he is some hitchhiker who stole our fish, will not leave us alone and tries to stroke Legolas' hair and call him precious."
The creature swallowed, making a throaty 'Gollum' sound, and gestured to shake hands with Sallie, whose first reaction was to hide behind Aragorn's manly shoulders.
The thick stench of rotting corpses filled the air. (Not that I know what a rotting corpse smells like. Narrator coughs, then kicks a skull back under her desk.) Aragorn sniffed.
"A foul stench is upon us," Aragorn said, and most of the group's eyes wondered towards Boromir, who was looking rather guilty. "Wolves...They are close!"
The entire group took up their positions, pointy, shining swords glinting in the sun; Legolas was ready with a bow. Frodo was raving about the fact that his sword went a pretty blue colour when Orcs were close; and Boromir was muttering something along the lines of, "Stupid curly haired, big feet hobbit gets everything, first the ring, then the sting."
The entire group then moved forward, like it was some especially choreographed dance sequence. Callie and Sallie the realized they had no weapons, and Callie was not the fighting type, definitely not in that out fit.
Legolas stood protectively in front of Callie, there was no way he was going to let some dirty wolf near her shoes, and shinny hair. Aragorn stood in front of Sallie, because it was the manly thing to do, and Boromir, luckily, was down wind.
Suddenly a huge wolf jumped out, and ran straight into Gandalf's long pointy staff thing, therefore landing un-conscience to the floor. Then another ran into the point of Aragorn's sword. (Aragorn: hey I said there were wolves, not smart, dangerous, sneaky wolves.) A few more arrived, and impaled themselves, and that was the end of a very dramatic and short battle. (P.s. this is rated PG-13, if you are disturbed by the graphic details of this hilariously funny story... that's your problem... or your parents for letting you read it... cough)
After everyone had cleaned their swords, and taken what gold they could find from the wolves; which in Merry's case was a small gold-chained collar reading... 'Fluffy poo, if found please return to Sauron at 123 Mordor drive, big tall tower thingy with an orange eye on top,' they sat down on a beautifully grassy hill to eat some food.
Except the slimy creature called Gollum who was up in a tree, seeing if bark was edible, as they had no fish left. It was not.
Aragorn got a fire going, using his skilled and manly hands, while Sam, who thought he was an excellent cook, started trying to cook something he had found on the ground. All the company had left to eat was some soggy dried fruit, and stale bread. To everyone's delight, Callie pulled eleven low calorie sandwiches out of her handbag, and everyone was happy. Except for Gollum who was still trying to eat the inedible bark, which he still thought was edible.
What do you think of this chapter?????? Please review. Piece of helpful info, did you know that the something in the bark of a willow tree is the main ingredient of aspirin? (please do not test this theory out, you don't want to accidentally swallow a wood louse or centipede)
A/N: Hi guys!!!! This chapter is written by Ell-leigh! Hope you all enjoy it and have a good laugh! Cos I think it is really funny!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE review to tell us what you thought of it, because it is always nice for the author to get some feedback from it!
To their surprise they landed on some beautiful earth, with a loud...
THUD!
"That hurt."
The beautiful rays of the beautiful Middle-Earth-Sun beautifully shone on the beautiful tangled mess of arms, legs and pink, fluffy, stiletto boots...beautifully.
"Am I still alive?" Sally said, rolling over and pulling a long, broken twig from underneath her back.
Suddenly a ring of faces was staring down on them. One of them, an extremely tall, pointy-eared Orlando Bloom look-alike squealed- "Oh. My. GODS," hyperventilated breathing. "Where did you get those SHOES?!?"
Finally someone with a little fashion sense, Callie thought, blood dripping from her nail. Oh God, Broken NAIL.
Sallie cracked her neck, took a tall, handsome, manly man's hand, and then stood up with his manly help.
"Who be you who fall from yonder sky to beneath ye golden apple tree?" He asked manly-ly with dramatic hand gestures. Callie raised an eyebrow.
"In English please?"
"Who are you?" He said, pointing at Callie who was lying in the tall, blond, Oh-My-Gods-where-did-you-get-those-shoes!?! One's arms, as he inspected her broken fingernail.
"Callie," she replied.
"And you?" He said to Sallie.
"Sallie," she smiled sweetly, and attempted to flutter her eyelashes, although smiling and fluttering to get a guy's attention was not her forte; more of her sister's.
"I be Aragorn, son of Arathorn. He be Legolas, son of Thranduil, he is Frodo of the Shire, Gimli son of Gloin, Merry Brandybuck and Pippin Took," he pointed his manly finger as he said each of the names. "Sam," he paused and then whispered towards the girls, "he is a little strange..." The one called Legolas nodded in agreement. "Boromir son of Denethor, Gandalf-the- Grey," and pointing to a hunched over slimy-looking creature with a fish fin between its two front teeth, he said, "and he is some hitchhiker who stole our fish, will not leave us alone and tries to stroke Legolas' hair and call him precious."
The creature swallowed, making a throaty 'Gollum' sound, and gestured to shake hands with Sallie, whose first reaction was to hide behind Aragorn's manly shoulders.
The thick stench of rotting corpses filled the air. (Not that I know what a rotting corpse smells like. Narrator coughs, then kicks a skull back under her desk.) Aragorn sniffed.
"A foul stench is upon us," Aragorn said, and most of the group's eyes wondered towards Boromir, who was looking rather guilty. "Wolves...They are close!"
The entire group took up their positions, pointy, shining swords glinting in the sun; Legolas was ready with a bow. Frodo was raving about the fact that his sword went a pretty blue colour when Orcs were close; and Boromir was muttering something along the lines of, "Stupid curly haired, big feet hobbit gets everything, first the ring, then the sting."
The entire group then moved forward, like it was some especially choreographed dance sequence. Callie and Sallie the realized they had no weapons, and Callie was not the fighting type, definitely not in that out fit.
Legolas stood protectively in front of Callie, there was no way he was going to let some dirty wolf near her shoes, and shinny hair. Aragorn stood in front of Sallie, because it was the manly thing to do, and Boromir, luckily, was down wind.
Suddenly a huge wolf jumped out, and ran straight into Gandalf's long pointy staff thing, therefore landing un-conscience to the floor. Then another ran into the point of Aragorn's sword. (Aragorn: hey I said there were wolves, not smart, dangerous, sneaky wolves.) A few more arrived, and impaled themselves, and that was the end of a very dramatic and short battle. (P.s. this is rated PG-13, if you are disturbed by the graphic details of this hilariously funny story... that's your problem... or your parents for letting you read it... cough)
After everyone had cleaned their swords, and taken what gold they could find from the wolves; which in Merry's case was a small gold-chained collar reading... 'Fluffy poo, if found please return to Sauron at 123 Mordor drive, big tall tower thingy with an orange eye on top,' they sat down on a beautifully grassy hill to eat some food.
Except the slimy creature called Gollum who was up in a tree, seeing if bark was edible, as they had no fish left. It was not.
Aragorn got a fire going, using his skilled and manly hands, while Sam, who thought he was an excellent cook, started trying to cook something he had found on the ground. All the company had left to eat was some soggy dried fruit, and stale bread. To everyone's delight, Callie pulled eleven low calorie sandwiches out of her handbag, and everyone was happy. Except for Gollum who was still trying to eat the inedible bark, which he still thought was edible.
What do you think of this chapter?????? Please review. Piece of helpful info, did you know that the something in the bark of a willow tree is the main ingredient of aspirin? (please do not test this theory out, you don't want to accidentally swallow a wood louse or centipede)
