Disappearance and Desperation
Author's Note: The song, "Keep Away" is by Godsmack.
She had no idea where he slept that night but, then again, she really didn't care. He had hurt her and she wasn't going to forgive him so easily. Stepping out of the shower Willow wrapped a towel around her hair and pulled her robe over her damp body. Flipping through her CD's Willow pulled one out, put into the player, and cranked up the volume until the walls shook.
"…stab me in the heart again.
Drag me through your wasted life.
Are you forever dead?
Do like I told you, stay away from me.
Never misunderstand me:
keep away from me…"
She didn't notice she was screaming until the song ended and only her voice echoed off the walls. "Damn him," she screamed.
Downstairs the others heard Willow's rage and tried not to look at Spike who was using what self control he had not to run up to her. He was the last person she wanted to see and, to be honest, he was a bit afraid of what she might do to him. No, Spike was safer downstairs. Willow just needed a little time.
He had been acting different for the past couple of days. Willow had noticed the slight quirks but shrugged them away, assuming it was just Spike being Spike. Obviously she was wrong. Suddenly she started to wonder where he had been disappearing to at night. Just after sundown he was out the door and stayed out for hours. Every time Willow tried to inquire he would interrupt with some sarcastic remark about her being paranoid. Willow would always smile and shake away her suspicion. This was Spike and he would never lie to Willow.
For a while the redhead had believed that. But now, now she just wanted answers and hated knowing she would never get them. Spike had his secrets, fine, she could accept that – she had her own as well – but his secrets were bruising their relationship and hurting Willow. That's what she couldn't understand: Spike knowingly, and willingly, crushing her heart. It was cruel, even for a soulless vampire.
There was knock at her door. Willow didn't bother to move or invite them in. She just sat on the couch starring out the balcony. It was raining. It was depressive. It was perfect. "Willow?"
Turning her head only slightly Willow sighed. "Angel?"
"Yeah," he answered quietly shutting her door. "It's me."
"It's so dreary, don't you think? So incredibly fitting, considering the circumstances."
Settling down beside his friend Angel looked worriedly at Willow. She was pale and her eyes seemed so empty, so hollow. Her fragile hands were trembling and Angel could smell the tears she tried to hide. Touching her cheek he gently kissed her brow, pulling her into her arms and urging her to shed the tears she bottled inside. Clinging to him Willow cried into Angel's shoulder, her body shaking with sobs. Rubbing her back Angel crooned softly, easing her weeping until finally, exhausted, she fell asleep in his arms.
Lifting her into his arms Angel placed Willow in her bed, tucking the sheets around her. "Sleep little one," Angel whispered before closing the door silently and going back downstairs.
Cordelia was on her feet the instant Angel appeared. "How is she?"
The dark-haired shook his head and looked away. Sighing, Wesley spoke, "That bad, huh?"
Directing a hash stare to his childe Angel responded, "She's been a hell of a lot better."
"You broke her," Cordelia hissed at Spike. "She loved you and you just ripped out her heart."
"Cordy – "
"Get out," the seer cut off Spike's plead with a solid command. "Get out of this Hotel, Spike. You're not welcome here anymore."
Knowing he'd find no support among the other's Spike nodded, grabbing the keys to Willow's car, and walked out the door. Those inside the Hyperion heard the engine start and the sound of the tires peeling away. Spike was gone.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"He's never been in there?"
"Nope. Sorry."
"Yeah, me too. Thanks anyway."
Hanging up the phone Willow groaned. That was the last bar in town and she was still right where she started. It was frustrating and the redhead was running out of options. It had been two weeks since anyone had heard from him and she was getting worried. Yes, Willow was still furious with him and hurt beyond anything he could imagine, but that didn't mean she had stopped caring about him.
Spike was missing and Willow was determined to find him.
Chewing her bottom lip for a minute, thinking, Willow picked up the phone again and dialed. It rang for what felt like eternity and Willow's stomach grew tighter and tighter each second. This was her last resort. A desperate attempt. But the redhead had reached the end of her rope. She needed the help.
"Yo?"
"Interesting way to answer the phone," Willow said lightly.
"Red? Well I'll be damned."
Willow grinned slightly. "I thought you already were."
"Details, details," the other woman smiled. "So I'm going to go out on a limb here and say this isn't a courtesy call."
"Afraid not."
The other woman took a breath. "Alright. Lay it on me, red. What's the problem?"
"Spike's missing."
"Blondie, huh? You sure he's missing and not just taking a break from the Do-Gooder life."
Willow paused. "We had a fight. He left. No one's heard from him in two weeks."
"Gotcha," the other woman sighed. "Okay, well, what do you need from me?"
"You know people," Willow stated. "I mean, you've got contacts that could track him down, right?"
There was a chuckle on the other end. "You been spying on me, red?"
"Well, you did try to kill us back in Sunnydale so I thought best to keep tabs on you."
"Yeah, I may know someone that could help. He ain't going to be cheap."
"Don't worry about that," Willow responded. "I'll take care of it."
"Ooh, lady with the bucks. I like that."
Willow grinned. "I'm staying with Angel so let me give you the number to the Hyperion and have your guy call me here."
"Sure thing, red."
After giving the other woman the number and exchanged a few other words Willow paused and said, "Thank you, Faith."
"No problem, red. Got to keep things five-by-five, right?"
"Right," Willow agreed hanging up the phone.
