When Max wakes up, she finds herself bound to a medical bed.  It takes her a minute to realize it, but she recognizes this place.  Manticore.

Her screams of horror fade to silence as a young doctor makes his way over to her bed.  Her instinct is to struggle, to scream, to fight her way out.  But she's strapped to the bed, and she needs to wait till the let her out of her bonds before she can escape.

"X5-452," he says, so expressionless she wonders if Manticore has beaten the curve yet again and developed robots.  "You are in perfect health.  It's time to start reprogramming."  He signals to four large X5s she hadn't noticed in the corner.

Two pin her down, while the others undo her restraints.  Each one grabs a limb, and they carry her out of the medical wing.  She struggles, wriggling and writhing frantically, but she cannot get loose.  After a few minutes, she relaxes.

She studies them, as is her habit.  The two in front, holding her legs, move with the confidence of soldiers, and the stiffness, but there is an edge of curiosity to them.  They glance at her every so often, and seem to communicate that curiosity to each other through looks.  The same for one of the holding her arm.

But the last one, he's more rigid than the rest, staring straight ahead with almost vacant eyes.  Max cranes her head back as far as it will go, finally getting a glimpse of his barcode.

331027369224.

"Damn," Max curses.  Lyle.  But he didn't act like Lyle, marching forward without so much as a flinch at her shout.  This is not the boy she knew, the one who discovered family, but a soldier.  He is X5-224.

They come to a large steel door.  One of the leg guys loosens his grip to open it, and Max takes the opportunity to free her foot.  She kicks him in the head, knocking him into the door.  She uses her free leg as leverage to pull her captive leg from other guy's grasp, and then does a split kick that breaks the noses of both X5-224 and his companion.  They slacken, not immune to pain, and she twists out of their grip.

Her foot connects with the jaw of X5-224 as he tries to get up.  One of the guards charges at her, but she flips him over her head.  Having sufficiently freed herself, Max turns to run, but a hand flies out and pulls her legs from under her.

She falls, smacking her head violently against the floor.

Her entourage shoves her through the now open door, and closes it before she can think to go back out.  Limp, she struggles to support herself.  She turns slowly, and her heart stops when she sees who is in the room with her.

"X5-452.  Or should I call you Max?"  Lydecker asks her, his voice as cold and strong as it has ever been.

She isn't scared.  She grew up with him, the frightening father.  She should not be scared of him.  She is older now; she knows he is not so mighty.  She can't breathe.

Her brain, her training—by Lydecker no less—tells her to attack.  She is infinitely stronger, faster, smarter, better than he is.  She could bring him to his knees in an instant.  But there are more X5s behind him, two guys and a rather butch woman.  And for the life of her, she can't help but be afraid.

The male X5s pick her up roughly and force her into a metal chair with thick leather straps.  The female, whose face is rounder than is usual for a soldier, looks down on her with something almost resembling sympathy.  It surprises Max.

Lydecker, feeling more confident now that he has the height advantage, raises his voice slightly.  "You are very valuable," he says.  "The Committee would like you to go through reindoctrination, but then how useful would you be?  Just another mindless drone, simplified to the point that all the mental enhancements would be nullified.  But loyalty is something that will be hard to gain back."  He looks at the other X5s for a moment, studying them thoughtfully.  "So we won't gain it, so much as take it back.  By breaking your will."

Max almost whimpers, but clamps her teeth down on it and refuses to show just how much control he still has over her.

She pulls herself together.  "What did you do to Lyle?" she asks him, fearlessly.

"Hmm?" he asks, unmoved by her bravery.

"X5-224!" she shouts, frustrated.

"X5-224," he repeats slowly, nodding.  "That, 452, is what you will become if I find that you are not sufficiently reformed.  It's a pity, because you are the best of the best, but what else can be done in the end?"

She screams at him, raw and primal, clawing with her bonded hands.

Lydecker doesn't take any notice, and leaves swiftly.  The X5s follow obediently.

She's left alone for several minutes, mind wandering down frightening paths.  She wishes she wasn't here.  She prays with all her might to the Blue Lady that this is all a dream.  She wonders where Jondy is.  Then she prays some more.

Max is pulled from her prayers when a small, hunched over man enters.

"I am Doctor Kruchev," he says.  "I will be your only friend for a very long while.  Enjoy it while you can."  And then he breaks her arm.

The torture lasts for three days.  Cuts and bruises, deep gashes that bleed rivers run up and down her body.  Her mouth is coppery with blood.  Every time she starts to fall asleep, she's shocked awake.  She wishes to die so it will stop.

It finally does.  She's escorted, by the same three X5s that tied her to the chair, through the long halls.  They are not so much restraining her, as supporting her.  She can hardly stand up, and so thoughts of escape never enter her mind.

She is led to a room, only just big enough for her to lie down in.  It's cold in here; she can feel the temperature clawing at her skin.

She lies down quietly, and they leave her alone.

For the first couple days, she's so out of it that she can't feel the time pass.  She spends most of it sleeping.  Max feels weak.  She's supposed to be an incredible super soldier.  Only seizures leave her this broken.

She wonders if she could possibly move.  She doesn't think it's likely.

Doctor Kruchev comes on the seventh day, and cleans her wound, completely lacking the maniacal edge he took on while torturing her.

The second week, she feels better.  Her body heals rapidly, and soon faint scars are the only evidence of abuse.  She starts planning her escape.  Step 1: Find Jondy.  Step 2: Get the hell out.  Not the most sophisticated plan, she'll admit, but it occupies her mind and gives her hope.

The third week she spends working out.  There's not much room, but she manages.

The forth week she thinks about her friends, and do they miss her, and will she see them again?

The fifth week she thinks of her and Jondy as kids.  About Zack and Krit and Brin and Lyle and Zane and Blade and Ben and Eva and Jack and Trixie and Gage and Jace and Tylas and Chancey and Syl and Ember and Krien.  About Ben's stories of the outside, and of the Blue Lady, and of their teeth.  Of training ops that masqueraded as games, and games that masqueraded as training ops.

The sixth week she can't think of anything but regret and doubt.  Why had they escaped if it just got them back here?  Why did she not tell her friends?  Why did she leave Lucy behind?  Why can't she love?  She feels like poison.

By the seventh week, she's going out of her mind.  When she's given her weekly bread and water, she's momentarily relieved of the insanity.  But then it comes back.  Little voices whispering at her, mocking her.  The walls close in on her, forcing her to huddle in a corner.

At the end of the seventh week, her three personal X5s come by to take her somewhere else.  She doesn't care where she's going.  She'd be willing to go through the torture again, as long as there is someone there to torture her.  As long as there is pain to distract her from her slowly wilting mind.

They take her to one of the classrooms, and tie her to a chair.  Doctor Kruchev comes in and puts a device on her that keeps her from closing her eyes or moving her head.  On a projector board that she still remembers they show slide after slide of propaganda.  Slide after slide of sayings she won't believe.

When a voice fills her head, she thinks she's finally gone crazy.  But then she recognizes it as Lydecker.

You are nothing, the voice says.

You are nothing. You are nothing.  You are nothing.  You are nothing.

 

You are nothing without Manticore.  You told your friends what you are, and they betrayed you.  You disgust them.  You are nothing without Manticore.  You are nothing.

 

You are loyal.  You are loyal.  Loyalty is all you have.  Loyalty to Manticore is all you have, because no one else will protect you.

 

You are not a person.  You are not human.  You are above being human.  You are a soldier, born and breed to be a soldier.  You are nothing but a soldier.  You are not human.

 

Again she's not allowed to sleep.  The words flash in front of her, over and over and over.  Lydecker keeps talking.  She tries to block it out, but the words are there always.  She tries to convince herself it's not true.

You are 332960073452.  Nothing more.  You are X5-452.  You are a soldier.  A soldier loyal to Manticore.  You have nothing but what Manticore gives you.

 

Manticore is the only place you will be accepted.  Your friends would not accept you, they did not accept you.  You are 452.

 

452452452452452452452452452452452452452452Max452452452452452452MaxMAX

"Max," she screams.  "My name is Max.  I AM MAX!"

Max452Max452452Max452452452452Max4524524524524524524524524524524524524524524524545245245245245245245245245245245245245245245245245245245245245245

 

332960073452. 332960073452.  X5-452.  Nothing more.

"Please state your designation," a man she knows says.  A sliver of fear burns through the numbness.  The man is Lydecker, but she can't remember anything beyond the name, and the fear.

"Designation: 332960073452.  X5-452, awaiting your instructions, sir."

The man—Lydecker—smiles.  "It's good to have you back, 452."

Through the fog, she can't remember where she's been.  "Sir?"

"You went away for a while," Lydecker says with a soft frown.  "But now you're back with your family."

X5-452 is led back to the barracks where the X5s not on missions stay.  She recognizes the place, and the beds, and for some reason the window in the corner, but not the people—soldiers, her mind corrects.

She's introduced to the CO, X5-165, and his 2IC, X5-494.  She's confused at the introductions—if she used to be here, before, wouldn't she know them?  But she shrugs it off.  Maybe they're new.

X5-165 is cold and commanding.  He looks down at her with ice in his eyes.  X5-494 laughs at her fear and confusion.  He's pretty at ease, and she can't comprehend him being 2IC.

The next morning they go for breakfast in the cafeteria.  It's smaller than she remembers, but she doesn't really remember it, so that may be why.

She's disappointed that the food is nothing more than concentrated protein, but wonders why.  They are not humans.  Humans need real food.  Soldiers do not.

She sits with a mixed group of X5s and X6s.  X5-254 takes the seat next to her.  "I'm you backwards," She says to him.  He laughs.

X5-918 is on her other side.  She has short, dark red hair, and big, sad eyes.  She smiles at 452 when no one else is looking.

X6-126 is across from her.  She's the youngest of all of them, maybe nine or ten.  Her face is always lit up, like she has candles behind her eyes.  She takes the phrases people around her use and parrots them back in song.

X5-494 sits next to her, and seems amused by the singing.  He tells the rest jokes at the expense of X5-254, but 254 just laughs it off.  He also comments that 452 is a traitor, but the word is meaningless to her, so she doesn't get angry.

If there wasn't a haze between her and everything else, she probably could have identified him as annoying.  But all she can look at are his hands.  In this light, they make shadows on the table when he gestures.  The shadows form figures in her mind, and she feels dizzy.

From breakfast they go to Basic Training.  They're led through a series of moves that she doesn't know why she knows.  Then they're asked to fight in pairs.

She's with X5-254.  She tells him, "It's like fighting myself upside down."  But it's not.  He's quicker than her—mildly—and stronger, too.  Every step he takes is calculated and perfect.

Sometimes she feels awkward, and her hands move differently than she intends them to.  She tries to do everything that man instructed them to—because this fight is about practicing those moves—but it all ends up rough and kind of sloppy.  And sometimes she doesn't do a move, even though she means to, because she knows she can't pull it off.

He finally pins her to the ground, but she knocks him back with a swift twisting kick move.  It takes him completely by surprise because it's a trick he's never seen before.  She leaps at him, and he tries to move out of the way, but she catches his hair.  Pulling his head back, she shoves him to the ground, and puts her knee in his back until he stops squirming.

"I give," he says, surprised at his own defeat.

That man declares her the winner.  The other X5 stop fighting to stare at her.  She wants to shrink under their eyes.  But 452 is a soldier and soldiers are not intimidated.

They have a break around noon.  452 sits under a tree with X5-254—because he likes her—and X5-918—because when 452 looks at her, she stops feeling nothing, and starts feeling sad.

X5-254, after checking that no one can hear them, asks 452 what it was like on the outside.

"The outside?" 452 asks, her mind ripping itself apart with conflicting confusion.  "Well," she says, "there are trees," she point to the tree they are sitting under, "and grass," which she also points out, "and sky."

"No." He frowns uncertainly.  "No, outside of Manticore."

"Without Manticore you are nothing," she recites.

254 is shocked.  "You wouldn't have escaped if that was true, or fought so hard to stay out there!"  His voice echoes slightly in the daylight.

"I escaped?" 452 asks, looking dazedly over at X5-918.  918 is watching her with wide eyes, but stays quiet.

"Yeah," 254 tells her, shaking his head at something.  "You and about 11 others made past the perimeter fence."

She feels a sharp pain in her head, and she cries out.  Loyalty to Manticore is all you have.

 

452452452452452452452452452452452Max452452452452452MaxMaxMaxMaxMax452

 

The Blue Lady will protect us, Maxie.

"Oh god, Ben," she cries.

Loyalty to Manticore is all you have, because no one else will protect you.  Without Manticore, you are nothing.

"The Blue Lady," she yells at Lydecker, though he can't hear her.  "The Blue Lady will protect me!  Without me, Manticore is nothing!"

452Max452Max452Max452MAx452Max452Max452Max452Max452Max

 

You are 332960073452.  X5-452.  Nothing more.

"I AM MAX!" she screams.  And suddenly she finds herself outside of the fog, under a tree with her new friends X5-254 and X5-918.

"My name is Max," she tells them.  "Not 452, not 332960073452.  Max."

Max decides they need names, too.  X5-254 is Sinclair, and X5-918 is Mindra.  When they ask her why those names, she can't tell them.

She talks about her friends—who did not, would not, could not betray her—about Original Cindy, and Sketchy, and Herbal, and Kendra, and even Normal.  She talks about Zack and Jondy and the others, about having a job and hanging out at Crash.

They can't look away from her.

Mindra's eyes are sadder than ever when break is over, and it's back to training.

It's Lydecker that trains them this time.  Max doesn't look at him, because she knows that he will see through her in a second if she does.  He leads them away, and Max gets a horrible aching in her chest when she realizes where they are going.

The tank.

Under the water, Max feels a panic rising up inside her.  Sinclair waves to get her attention.

Are you alright? he signs.

She settles into herself, and finds a deep inner calm.  I'm fine.

 

I really like having a name.

 

She's not surprised.  Names make them more human.

I think the others should have names, too.

Max thinks this over.  On one hand, no one deserved to be only a number.  But on the other, if Lydecker ever found out, she'd become 452 permanently.  Can we trust them to not tell anyone?

 

Sinclair looks conflicted.  Mindra, who's been watching the discussion from nearby, signals, Max, Sinclair, I think most are trust worthy.  Really only the brainwashed X5's from your unit, Max, would tell Deck or the others, and they already have names, anyway.

 

Max thinks this is a fair point, and agrees that they will give the X5s names after training.

After six minutes, Max feels her life clawing it's way out of her chest.  She hasn't done this in ten years.  She hasn't built up her lungs as much as the rest of them.

As she starts to freak out, Sinclair grabs her.  Once his hands find her face, he presses his lips to hers and shares his oxygen with her.  He lets go, and she manages to stay conscious until the clamps release them.

"Good going, Sinclair," Mindra tells him, and it's the first time Max has heard her speak.  But now is not the time, and so Max grabs her arm to silence her, gesturing slyly at Lydecker.  Mindra nods.

Later, when they're back in the barracks, they lie awake as everyone else falls asleep.  It's easier for Max than the others, but adrenaline rushes through them every time they think of their names.

When Max is convinced that all the X5s are sleeping soundly, she signs to Mindra, Wake the trustworthy ones.

She picks ten of the fourteen in their room—Max notices that none of which are X5-165—and wakes each of them up with a shake and a signal to be quiet.  Max leads them out the window, and they climb the up the pipe to the High Place.

Sinclair explains the concept.  X5-494 scoffs at them, but when Sinclair tells anyone unwilling to be named to leave, he quiets and looks at his feet.

"Okay," Max says.  "Why don't you guys line up and we'll give you your name."

X5-724 is a busty blond with a quick temper.  When she shouts at Mindra for getting such a unique name, Max dubs her Rage in revenge.

X5-337 becomes Adrian, and X5-678 becomes Selena.  X5-531 finds herself Sita, and X5-213 finds himself Chandresh.  X5-147 is now Spunky, and X5-834 is now Panther.  X5-673 is Leo, and X5-264 is Gemini.

X5-494, Max can now distinguish, is extremely annoying.  As she ponders an name that will express just that, he says, "Could we speed this up?  I'd rather not be around you crazy-naming people for too long—I might catch whatever you got on the outside."

Max can feel her heckles rise, but she takes a deep breath and counts to ten.  "I'm gonna call you Alec," she says, smiling at him for the first time.

"Alec?"

"As in smart aleck."

Alec thinks about it, then nods.  "Yeah, I can live with that."

"Good," she says, "cause my second choice was Dick."

Mindra laughs a little, and her eyes aren't quite so sad.  Alec, a little giddy about his name, but not wanting to show it, snaps, "Are we going inside anytime soon?"

Max finds herself relaxing around her new friends.  They sit at dinner, a happy mix of named X5s and unnamed X5s from another unit and a couple of X6s.  They talk about training, and Lydecker, and Selena even asks about the outside.  She feels calmer than ever, explaining it to them, the heavy burden of freedom gone from her now.  She doesn't have to worry every second about Lydecker finding her.  She doesn't have to lie to her friends, hide from her friends.  It's exhilarating.

 But there is fear in her heart that she cannot ignore.  Lydecker is still dangerous—he could still take away her identity.  And the weight of imprisonment is almost as heavy as constantly looking over her shoulder.

Alec shifts as she talks to Selena about meeting up with Jondy.  He likes the name she gave him, and having an identity.  But he does not like her.  He cannot allow himself to trust her.  "I'm so glad you found your fellow traitor," he tells her spitefully.

Max feels attacked and vulnerable.  Her almost hopeful thoughts of a future at Manticore—thoughts she can't believe she even had—are immediately wiped out.  She rounds on Alec, anger rising up within her.  "We are not traitors," she says, her voice so deadly calm that a hush falls over the table.  X6-126, who had been cheerfully listening to Max's tales, cringes and finds herself drawn toward Alec.

Max almost feels bad about frightening a innocent girl—even one who's strangely connected to Alec—but a righteous rage has taken control of her.  "We are not traitors," she says again.  "We left because it was horrible here!"  Her voice echoes through the quiet cafeteria.

"Boo hoo," Alec cries, just as passionate as Max.  "Suck it up soldier!  You think you had it bad?  How do you think it was for the rest of us after you left?"  Max is surprised to see the other X5s nodding mildly.  She'd never thought about that.  She never thought about the effects of her escape.  "Cowards," Alec mutters.

"We are not cowards," she yells at him, earlier hesitance forgotten.  "We're not the cowards for leaving; you're the coward for not leaving!"

Alec is so completely frustrated that he can't speak.  Max is glaring intently at Alec, and is startled when Gemini speaks up for him.  "Look," she tells Max rationally, "We don't blame you for escaping.  Most of us wanted to.  But we've suffered for your freedom.  Hours of Psy-Ops and torture.  The ones in your unit that you left behind had their independence taken away.  So forgive us for being a little resentful."

Max opens her mouth, and then closes it.  She knows in her heart that she has done nothing wrong, but she feels like she has.  That she alone is to blame.  But she didn't even really want to escape—it was Zack's idea!  Regardless, guilt swirls around inside her because she enjoyed a free life while they spent theirs in cages.

"It's not her fault," Sinclair tells them.  "Stop blaming Max for Manticore's disregard for us.  All she did was get out of a bad situation."

Alec finds his words again.  "Look, he's protecting his little friend," he says savagely.  "It seems there is another traitor in our bush."  His voice becomes animalistic and rough, and it doesn't quite seem to be him talking anymore.  "Rat.  Snake.  Plague!" 

Max cries out at this.

Sinclair and Gemini start shouting at the same time:

"You are the plague!  You are the one who won't let us try to escape!  You're keeping us here!"

"Betrayers!  We were betrayed by our own kind!  They left us here at the mercy of Lydecker!"

Mindra is not listening to any of it.  She just sits silently and watches X6-126, who moved away from Alec when he started shouting, and is desperately trying not to cry.  Mindra's eyes are dry, but full of sorrow.  "Stop," she says quietly.  "Stop it."  But she's drowned out by the voices and the anger and the blame.

Rage, who has been surprisingly passive during the argument, sees this.  "Stop," she shouts at the top of her lungs.  "Stop it."  The argument drops off, and they all look at her.  "Look what you are doing to the kid," she says.  "Look what you're doing to each other."

Max has been quiet for several moments, but self-disgust coils around her nonetheless.  She screamed at Alec, while Rage—AKA the angry chick—managed to stay out of it and even was the one to stop it.  Admittedly, Rage wasn't the one being attacked and called a traitor, but still.

Alec looks at X6-126 guiltily.  She's put her trust into him.  Ever since he caught her when she fell from a tree, she has turned to him.  He is afraid that she no longer sees him as her benevolent benefactor.

He reaches out to her, but she ducks out of the way and sits by Rage, who Alec knows she has always feared.

Sinclair damns his protective instinct.  He's torn between his newfound friendship with Max, the strange ex-escapee, and his loyalty to his CO, and his unit, and even to Manticore.  He notices Mindra watching him passively, and worries about her.  She used to be very quiet, never speaking, always observing.  When he befriended her a few years ago, she opened her shell ever so slightly.  Now he's worried that all the drama that Max brought has driven her back inside.

But then Max, who's finally wrestled down her guilt, turns to Mindra and speaks softly to her.  The shields on Mindra's eyes lower a bit, and Sinclair slips off that particular burden.

Gemini feels violated.  A side of her—savage, predatory, and unrelenting—that she has suppressed as a soldier forced it's way to the surface.  She understands her darker nature.  She now knows of the deep, uncontrollable anger that has always hidden in her belly.

And she finds that the anger toward Max, of what was done to them because of the escapees, is somewhat misplaced.  She can't help but think that Max is a victim; she can't help but think that they are all victims of Manticore.

Rage can't wait until everyone returns to normal, and she can be the mean one again.  She likes X6-126 okay, but the clinging and whimpering and hiding from Alec is getting on her nerves.

When the yelling started, Selena noticed the guard run off to get reinforcements.  She's worried, but she doesn't tell this to anyone.  When the guard returns with a few dozen brainwashed X5s, all she does is point to them.