Author's Note: First of all, thank you to Maria, one of my wonderful
betas. More betas are welcome - you don't even have to submit a cover
level to apply! Blasted, evil cover letters – but back to the story! I
hope this chapter was worth the wait – I think a more realistic update
schedule is once a week. Enjoy the next step into the darkness, everyone,
and for any Syaoran/Sakura fans out there, well, my advance apologies.
Disclaimer: Even after offering up my entire action figure collection and a box of green tea pocky, I still don't own Cardcaptor Sakura.
The One Thing You Can't See – Chapter Three "All The King's Horses"
Watanabe, the assistant director, was the first of the grieving Seijuu students to find his voice. Captain of the soccer team, he knew both Kinomoto and Tsukishiro - the star of the team and one who could have been if he would actually join-
'Would have, would have,' he thought, closing his eyes against the resurgence of tears. Watanabe knew Kinomoto rather well, as well as anyone could know him, anyway. When Tsukishiro helped out with the team, Kinomoto came alive more than ever. Those days the other teams seriously considered coming onto the pitch with a white flag - the two of them were unstoppable. Inseparable - seeing one of them without the other was certainly cause for alarm, if not panic. Imagining the aloof boy without his sweet and cheerful shadow was unimaginable, before today.
"Everyone," he said, his voice quavering but holding steady. A few students looked up, their eyes still red and moist, the heartbreak and anguish one their faces unmistakable. Very few students at Seijuu hadn't been touched by Tsukishiro's kindness. Tomorrow was going to be painful beyond measure. But Nakuru hadn't been seen since the students had rushed downstairs, someone had to hold this little group together.
"Everyone," he repeated, taking a steadying breath. "Please, just wait here a moment. I'll, I'll be right back." Watanabe turned his eyes from the cluster of blue-clad students to a far more agonizing sight. He walked up to Kinomoto in respectful, mournful silence, keeping his tears back with a will he didn't know he had.
"Kinomoto-kun," he said in a soft voice, keeping his eyes on the dark- haired boy's shaking back and not the lifeless figure beside him. Touya didn't turn around, but slowly his sobs eased, and Watanabe carefully rested a hand on his shoulder as he knelt down behind him. "Sumimasen, Kinomoto-kun," he whispered, not trusting that his voice would hold steady at any higher volume. They were the only words he could offer, but even still they didn't seem enough.
"Th-, thank you, Watanabe-sempai," Kinomoto finally replied in a barely audible voice, wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve. He slowly turned his head up to look at the soccer captain, taking a steadying breath before he dared say anything else. "You should make sure the others get home all right. They've- they've been through enough today."
"But what about-?" Watanabe tilted his head in Yukito's direction, but he couldn't bear to fully look. "An ambulance..the police-"
"The little boy..Hiragizawa-kun, already went inside to call," one of the Seijuu girls interrupted, dabbing at the corner of her eyes with her blazer. Sato-chan, Toua recalled, a sophomore on the archery team. She had a hopeless crush on Yukito, bringing him homemade sweets whenever he helped with their tournaments or practices. He had been too hopelessly naive to realize just why the small, purple-haired girl had kept him plied with sweets, but he had never been anything but kind and warm to her. Never had been anything but the sweet, loveable Yuki who would be so deeply missed.
Watanabe let out a soft sigh of relief that one painful task was already done. "Thank you, Sato-chan," he said to the girl, who returned to her cluster of friends, preparing for their departure. "Kinomoto-kun, if you need anything-" It was doubtful Touya would ask for help, for a comforting shoulder, but the soccer captain hoped the younger boy would eventually ask. "I'll, I'll tell the teachers what happened. They'll make sure everyone knows." Touya looked relieved, but it couldn't begin to erase the sheer hopelessness from his face. Watanabe had never thought he would ever see his top player looking so stricken and lost - and he didn't know what else to say that would only drive Touya further into his own grief.
"I'm so sorry," the captain finally said, bowing his head. Touya merely nodded and tuned back to Yukito, resting a hand on his best friend's forehead.
********
"O- onii-chan?"
Sakura's broken voice cut the silence left by the students' departure like no thunderclap ever could. Touya glanced up to see his sister, still clutching her pink wand, looking at him with tear-filled green eyes that must have mirrored his own expression.
Tomoyo tightened the hand resting on Sakura's shoulder as the auburn-haired girl opened her mouth to speak, yet couldn't the words. Before she closed her eyes and began crying again Touya realized what else he had seen in his sister's eyes.
Guilt.
"Gomen nasai, onii-chan! Gomen nasai!" Sakura's sobs came in great, heaving gasps, and before Tomoyo could turn her supporting arm into another hug Touya left his place besides Yukito and scooped his sister into his arms.
"It's not your fault," he crooned, stroking the back of her hair with his hand, even as she sobbed into his shoulder and shook her head in protest. "You did everything you could, and he knows that." The girl's crying didn't abate, but at least she stopped shaking her head. Barely keeping his own tears in check, Touya moved his hand to lift Sakura's head up toward his.
"It was an accident, kaijuu. A ho- horrible accident. Nobody knew it would happen," he explained in a soft voice, even as his own doubts came to attack him. He should have kept Yuki at home today, he should have taken him home as soon as he got tired, he should have just held on tighter- He shook the thoughts away - he didn't have the luxury of dealing with them now. Not when his sister needed him so badly, not when her world, all their worlds, had been shattered into a thousand painful pieces.
"It always made Yuki so sad to see you cry, remember?," Touya went on, and Sakura gave a tiny nod in response. "He told me that you should always have a smile on your face, and that I shouldn't tease you so much." Touya wanted to smile and weep at the memory of Yuki baiting him about his sister complex, and he felt the warmth of fresh tears on his cheek. "So you'll smile again? For Yuki?"
For a long moment, the sound of Sakura's soft weeping was the only sound. She opened her eyes, wrapped her arms tightly around her brother and rested her head against his shoulder, looking at Yukito's still body while tears streamed down her cheeks. "I'll try, onii-chan," she whispered, her hands clenching her wand. Sakura took in a breath and held it for a moment; despite the horror of the situation, she still felt the usual anxiety whenever her brother and her magic collided. "Onii-chan, there's something I want to do-"
Touya gently lowered his little sister to the ground, the calm and determination in her eyes amidst all the pain surprising him. Was this how she handled all the trials she had faced since she opened that book? He simply nodded in reply, but still held onto her hand, no matter how much older she seemed now.
"Tomoyo-chan, Syaoran-kun, Touya and I- we'll be all right," Sakura said as she looked at her two best friends. "If- if you wanted-" Her newfound strength was faltering, but Tomoyo was there to encourage it.
"We'll come to your house tomorrow, Sakura-chan," Tomoyo said, reading her cousin's thoughts. "Call either of us if you need anything, anything at all." Syaoran nodded in agreement, wanting to do nothing more than to hold Sakura until the last of her tears were gone. But it seemed he couldn't make his legs move over to her, and she had enough support with Tomoyo and her older brother.
"Thank you, Tomoyo-chan," Sakura said as she let go of Touya's hand long enough to hug Tomoyo tightly, her shoulders shaking ever so slightly. "Thank you, Syaoran-kun," she said to the still-immobile boy as she pulled away from her cousin and returned to her brother's side.
Sakura realized as she reached for her cards, contained within a well- concealed pocket in the kimono Tomoyo had made, she was still holding Windy in her other hand. The card still looked the same, but it felt wrong. As if all the sorrow and pain she felt was looking back at her in Windy's serene face. She gently laid Windy on top of the deck, which had the same feeling of wrongness, and pulled out the Shield.
"Onii-chan, these are-"
"Your magic cards," Touya interrupted, resting a hand atop his sister's head. "I know, kaijuu, I know. We can talk about it later later with that talking plushie of yours."
Despite himself, he felt the spark of a smile at her surprised expression. "What did you need to do with them? Can you-" Touya winced and cut himself off from asking what surely was an impossible task. These cards of his sisters might be strong, but there was no magic that could bring back the dead, no magic that could undo what had been done.
"I- I just want to protect him, to keep anything else from happening to him," Sakura stammered, starting to turn around. "I love Yukito-san - and Yue-san," she said, kneeling by her fallen guardian and gently clasping his still hand. "I wish I could have been a better master, but I hope I was a good friend. You're my number one person, and I hope you know that," she said, squeezing his hand tightly before she picked up the pink card lying on the grass besides her.
"Protect the one I love! Shield!"
Even before he felt Sakura's aura flare into brightness again, Touya saw Yukito's pale form flicker in the pale light of the impending sunset. The amber light flashed through him and onto the grass, even as Sakura's spell wrapped around him. "Yuki!! Sakura-chan, what's happening?"
"I don't know!," she yelled, pulling back the card just seconds later. But before the magic wove itself back into its card form, Yukito vanished with the last rays of sunlight.
"No! 'Nii-chan!!"
Touya and Sakura both looked up to see Cerberus, in his full form, flying as fast as he could to the spot where his brother's false form had lain only moments before.
******
Tomoyo and Syaoran walked back towards the house, towards the pathway that led to the main gate. Tomoyo's sharp lavender eyes looked for Hiragizawa - she had heard one of the Seijuu students tell Touya that he had gone in to call an ambulance, but he had never returned. It didn't seem like the shy yet kind boy not to return and make sure Sakura, a person he seemed to care about, was all right.
Each time Syaoran or Tomoyo started to say something, they fell silent before they could bring themselves to speak. It was a long, silent walk through the streets of Tomoeda as the day slipped into dusk and the first stars appeared.
Even the sky seemed to be in mourning, Tomoyo thought, as the feeble rays of sunset caught dark clouds on the far horizon. The moon hadn't risen yet, and Tomoyo wouldn't blame it if didn't show itself out of grief.
"I'm glad you were there for Sa-, Kinomoto-chan," Syaoran said just before they reached their parting point. Tomoyo looked at the Chinese boy, confused and for the moment, speechless. But he had cared deeply for Yukito, even if his feeling had been sparked by their mutual lunar magic. Sakura-chan and Touya-kun weren't the only ones in pain.
"You'll be there for Sakura-chan too, Li-kun," Tomoyo reassured him, resting a hand on his shoulder as she had done with Sakura. "She'll need all of us to help her, to make her smile again, and she'll need you a lot."
"And I'll help her however I can but I think you'll be the one she needs the most," Syaoran said, shaking his head slightly. "You're her best friend, the one who's always there for her, the one who cares about her the most."
Tomoyo didn't know whether to shake her head or turn it away - she could tell exactly where Li was going. He was speaking out of grief, out of pain, but deep down, she knew he was speaking the truth.
"Li-kun, I know you haven't told her how you feel yet, and it may take longer, but you can't just give up. You make Sakura-chan very happy, and she needs that now," Tomoyo said emphatically, but Syaoran merely shook his head again.
"Maybe I'll tell her, one day, just so she knows," he said wistfully. His tone grew more serious and much quieter. "Kinomoto-chan never got to tell the person she loved how she felt. That must be too painful to bear."
Syaoran looked up at Tomoyo suddenly, his amber-eyed gaze so intense she could barely meet it.
"You shouldn't meet the same fate, Daidouji-chan," he said, drawing a gasp of surprise from Tomoyo. "If anything happened to her, and you hadn't told her you loved her, you wouldn't be able to take it. Tell her - she cares for you more than you know. And even if she doesn't love you that way, at least you can't say she never knew."
The unflappable Daidouji Tomoyo was visibly shaken, and after being strong for her Sakura-chan, her lavender eyes filled up with tears. "I – I -"
"I'll be at her house at 10 tomorrow," Syaoran continued, knowing it would be a while before Tomoyo could possibly respond. "I'll see you then, but think about what I've said." A slightly rueful smile touched his otherwise somber face.
"You aren't the only one who notices things, Daidouji-chan."
Syaoran turned to head for home, a cold breeze ruffling his hair. And you aren't the only one who would make a sacrifice so the one you love is happy, he thought, as the first pale beams of moonlight shone in the east.
Disclaimer: Even after offering up my entire action figure collection and a box of green tea pocky, I still don't own Cardcaptor Sakura.
The One Thing You Can't See – Chapter Three "All The King's Horses"
Watanabe, the assistant director, was the first of the grieving Seijuu students to find his voice. Captain of the soccer team, he knew both Kinomoto and Tsukishiro - the star of the team and one who could have been if he would actually join-
'Would have, would have,' he thought, closing his eyes against the resurgence of tears. Watanabe knew Kinomoto rather well, as well as anyone could know him, anyway. When Tsukishiro helped out with the team, Kinomoto came alive more than ever. Those days the other teams seriously considered coming onto the pitch with a white flag - the two of them were unstoppable. Inseparable - seeing one of them without the other was certainly cause for alarm, if not panic. Imagining the aloof boy without his sweet and cheerful shadow was unimaginable, before today.
"Everyone," he said, his voice quavering but holding steady. A few students looked up, their eyes still red and moist, the heartbreak and anguish one their faces unmistakable. Very few students at Seijuu hadn't been touched by Tsukishiro's kindness. Tomorrow was going to be painful beyond measure. But Nakuru hadn't been seen since the students had rushed downstairs, someone had to hold this little group together.
"Everyone," he repeated, taking a steadying breath. "Please, just wait here a moment. I'll, I'll be right back." Watanabe turned his eyes from the cluster of blue-clad students to a far more agonizing sight. He walked up to Kinomoto in respectful, mournful silence, keeping his tears back with a will he didn't know he had.
"Kinomoto-kun," he said in a soft voice, keeping his eyes on the dark- haired boy's shaking back and not the lifeless figure beside him. Touya didn't turn around, but slowly his sobs eased, and Watanabe carefully rested a hand on his shoulder as he knelt down behind him. "Sumimasen, Kinomoto-kun," he whispered, not trusting that his voice would hold steady at any higher volume. They were the only words he could offer, but even still they didn't seem enough.
"Th-, thank you, Watanabe-sempai," Kinomoto finally replied in a barely audible voice, wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve. He slowly turned his head up to look at the soccer captain, taking a steadying breath before he dared say anything else. "You should make sure the others get home all right. They've- they've been through enough today."
"But what about-?" Watanabe tilted his head in Yukito's direction, but he couldn't bear to fully look. "An ambulance..the police-"
"The little boy..Hiragizawa-kun, already went inside to call," one of the Seijuu girls interrupted, dabbing at the corner of her eyes with her blazer. Sato-chan, Toua recalled, a sophomore on the archery team. She had a hopeless crush on Yukito, bringing him homemade sweets whenever he helped with their tournaments or practices. He had been too hopelessly naive to realize just why the small, purple-haired girl had kept him plied with sweets, but he had never been anything but kind and warm to her. Never had been anything but the sweet, loveable Yuki who would be so deeply missed.
Watanabe let out a soft sigh of relief that one painful task was already done. "Thank you, Sato-chan," he said to the girl, who returned to her cluster of friends, preparing for their departure. "Kinomoto-kun, if you need anything-" It was doubtful Touya would ask for help, for a comforting shoulder, but the soccer captain hoped the younger boy would eventually ask. "I'll, I'll tell the teachers what happened. They'll make sure everyone knows." Touya looked relieved, but it couldn't begin to erase the sheer hopelessness from his face. Watanabe had never thought he would ever see his top player looking so stricken and lost - and he didn't know what else to say that would only drive Touya further into his own grief.
"I'm so sorry," the captain finally said, bowing his head. Touya merely nodded and tuned back to Yukito, resting a hand on his best friend's forehead.
********
"O- onii-chan?"
Sakura's broken voice cut the silence left by the students' departure like no thunderclap ever could. Touya glanced up to see his sister, still clutching her pink wand, looking at him with tear-filled green eyes that must have mirrored his own expression.
Tomoyo tightened the hand resting on Sakura's shoulder as the auburn-haired girl opened her mouth to speak, yet couldn't the words. Before she closed her eyes and began crying again Touya realized what else he had seen in his sister's eyes.
Guilt.
"Gomen nasai, onii-chan! Gomen nasai!" Sakura's sobs came in great, heaving gasps, and before Tomoyo could turn her supporting arm into another hug Touya left his place besides Yukito and scooped his sister into his arms.
"It's not your fault," he crooned, stroking the back of her hair with his hand, even as she sobbed into his shoulder and shook her head in protest. "You did everything you could, and he knows that." The girl's crying didn't abate, but at least she stopped shaking her head. Barely keeping his own tears in check, Touya moved his hand to lift Sakura's head up toward his.
"It was an accident, kaijuu. A ho- horrible accident. Nobody knew it would happen," he explained in a soft voice, even as his own doubts came to attack him. He should have kept Yuki at home today, he should have taken him home as soon as he got tired, he should have just held on tighter- He shook the thoughts away - he didn't have the luxury of dealing with them now. Not when his sister needed him so badly, not when her world, all their worlds, had been shattered into a thousand painful pieces.
"It always made Yuki so sad to see you cry, remember?," Touya went on, and Sakura gave a tiny nod in response. "He told me that you should always have a smile on your face, and that I shouldn't tease you so much." Touya wanted to smile and weep at the memory of Yuki baiting him about his sister complex, and he felt the warmth of fresh tears on his cheek. "So you'll smile again? For Yuki?"
For a long moment, the sound of Sakura's soft weeping was the only sound. She opened her eyes, wrapped her arms tightly around her brother and rested her head against his shoulder, looking at Yukito's still body while tears streamed down her cheeks. "I'll try, onii-chan," she whispered, her hands clenching her wand. Sakura took in a breath and held it for a moment; despite the horror of the situation, she still felt the usual anxiety whenever her brother and her magic collided. "Onii-chan, there's something I want to do-"
Touya gently lowered his little sister to the ground, the calm and determination in her eyes amidst all the pain surprising him. Was this how she handled all the trials she had faced since she opened that book? He simply nodded in reply, but still held onto her hand, no matter how much older she seemed now.
"Tomoyo-chan, Syaoran-kun, Touya and I- we'll be all right," Sakura said as she looked at her two best friends. "If- if you wanted-" Her newfound strength was faltering, but Tomoyo was there to encourage it.
"We'll come to your house tomorrow, Sakura-chan," Tomoyo said, reading her cousin's thoughts. "Call either of us if you need anything, anything at all." Syaoran nodded in agreement, wanting to do nothing more than to hold Sakura until the last of her tears were gone. But it seemed he couldn't make his legs move over to her, and she had enough support with Tomoyo and her older brother.
"Thank you, Tomoyo-chan," Sakura said as she let go of Touya's hand long enough to hug Tomoyo tightly, her shoulders shaking ever so slightly. "Thank you, Syaoran-kun," she said to the still-immobile boy as she pulled away from her cousin and returned to her brother's side.
Sakura realized as she reached for her cards, contained within a well- concealed pocket in the kimono Tomoyo had made, she was still holding Windy in her other hand. The card still looked the same, but it felt wrong. As if all the sorrow and pain she felt was looking back at her in Windy's serene face. She gently laid Windy on top of the deck, which had the same feeling of wrongness, and pulled out the Shield.
"Onii-chan, these are-"
"Your magic cards," Touya interrupted, resting a hand atop his sister's head. "I know, kaijuu, I know. We can talk about it later later with that talking plushie of yours."
Despite himself, he felt the spark of a smile at her surprised expression. "What did you need to do with them? Can you-" Touya winced and cut himself off from asking what surely was an impossible task. These cards of his sisters might be strong, but there was no magic that could bring back the dead, no magic that could undo what had been done.
"I- I just want to protect him, to keep anything else from happening to him," Sakura stammered, starting to turn around. "I love Yukito-san - and Yue-san," she said, kneeling by her fallen guardian and gently clasping his still hand. "I wish I could have been a better master, but I hope I was a good friend. You're my number one person, and I hope you know that," she said, squeezing his hand tightly before she picked up the pink card lying on the grass besides her.
"Protect the one I love! Shield!"
Even before he felt Sakura's aura flare into brightness again, Touya saw Yukito's pale form flicker in the pale light of the impending sunset. The amber light flashed through him and onto the grass, even as Sakura's spell wrapped around him. "Yuki!! Sakura-chan, what's happening?"
"I don't know!," she yelled, pulling back the card just seconds later. But before the magic wove itself back into its card form, Yukito vanished with the last rays of sunlight.
"No! 'Nii-chan!!"
Touya and Sakura both looked up to see Cerberus, in his full form, flying as fast as he could to the spot where his brother's false form had lain only moments before.
******
Tomoyo and Syaoran walked back towards the house, towards the pathway that led to the main gate. Tomoyo's sharp lavender eyes looked for Hiragizawa - she had heard one of the Seijuu students tell Touya that he had gone in to call an ambulance, but he had never returned. It didn't seem like the shy yet kind boy not to return and make sure Sakura, a person he seemed to care about, was all right.
Each time Syaoran or Tomoyo started to say something, they fell silent before they could bring themselves to speak. It was a long, silent walk through the streets of Tomoeda as the day slipped into dusk and the first stars appeared.
Even the sky seemed to be in mourning, Tomoyo thought, as the feeble rays of sunset caught dark clouds on the far horizon. The moon hadn't risen yet, and Tomoyo wouldn't blame it if didn't show itself out of grief.
"I'm glad you were there for Sa-, Kinomoto-chan," Syaoran said just before they reached their parting point. Tomoyo looked at the Chinese boy, confused and for the moment, speechless. But he had cared deeply for Yukito, even if his feeling had been sparked by their mutual lunar magic. Sakura-chan and Touya-kun weren't the only ones in pain.
"You'll be there for Sakura-chan too, Li-kun," Tomoyo reassured him, resting a hand on his shoulder as she had done with Sakura. "She'll need all of us to help her, to make her smile again, and she'll need you a lot."
"And I'll help her however I can but I think you'll be the one she needs the most," Syaoran said, shaking his head slightly. "You're her best friend, the one who's always there for her, the one who cares about her the most."
Tomoyo didn't know whether to shake her head or turn it away - she could tell exactly where Li was going. He was speaking out of grief, out of pain, but deep down, she knew he was speaking the truth.
"Li-kun, I know you haven't told her how you feel yet, and it may take longer, but you can't just give up. You make Sakura-chan very happy, and she needs that now," Tomoyo said emphatically, but Syaoran merely shook his head again.
"Maybe I'll tell her, one day, just so she knows," he said wistfully. His tone grew more serious and much quieter. "Kinomoto-chan never got to tell the person she loved how she felt. That must be too painful to bear."
Syaoran looked up at Tomoyo suddenly, his amber-eyed gaze so intense she could barely meet it.
"You shouldn't meet the same fate, Daidouji-chan," he said, drawing a gasp of surprise from Tomoyo. "If anything happened to her, and you hadn't told her you loved her, you wouldn't be able to take it. Tell her - she cares for you more than you know. And even if she doesn't love you that way, at least you can't say she never knew."
The unflappable Daidouji Tomoyo was visibly shaken, and after being strong for her Sakura-chan, her lavender eyes filled up with tears. "I – I -"
"I'll be at her house at 10 tomorrow," Syaoran continued, knowing it would be a while before Tomoyo could possibly respond. "I'll see you then, but think about what I've said." A slightly rueful smile touched his otherwise somber face.
"You aren't the only one who notices things, Daidouji-chan."
Syaoran turned to head for home, a cold breeze ruffling his hair. And you aren't the only one who would make a sacrifice so the one you love is happy, he thought, as the first pale beams of moonlight shone in the east.
